Reality...is Not a Great Place Even When You Have Been Expecting It

I am beginning to suspect that all the extra cases of autism we are seeing is due to people eating GMO foods and pesticide contamination of "normal" food.
It goes right into the growning baby inside the mother.

Libby:

You are being proactive.

You sort of did expect it because you asked about him being Highly Functioning...you just didn't want to hear it...that's okay - no mom WANTS to hear it. To be honest - this is good news! Why do I say that? Because
YOU WILL ROCK THIS!! Do you know how I know? Because you will get him the help he needs. And you also like I said - you are being PROACTIVE!!!

Don't treat him like a victim or like he's disabled...give him your love like you always do...that's what my GF whose son is HFA - she said she doesn't treat him any differently to "separate" him from the rest...she ACKNOWLEDGES his stressors and is prepared...you can do this...if anyone out in this world can do it - you can!!

There are other moms on here with kids who have autism and their kids are doing GREAT THINGS!!! Zephyr can too!!

Just another notch in your strength belt, Libby. Nobody better equipped than you. Zephyr's a lucky fella, same as the others.

Power to ya , Sista!

:)

Reality hurts, but it can become a better reality....& I know you know that!

& I do have a story for you: I know a mom who's a psychologist. Her son was diagnosed autistic & she had completely missed it! Seriously, she works with kids every day & still missed what was blatantly obvious to the rest of the world. She was devastated, & it took her quite a while to find balance within herself as both a mom & with her profession.

What's that old phrase? "Sometimes, you can't see the forest for all of the trees". I think that says it all.....& I know you're hurting, but research has made so many advances that I think you'll find happiness for you & your son. Peace to you.

Until they say yes, it is Autism there is still a small doubt. Now the doubt has been erased.
BUT you now have all these resources to help him. And now that there is a diagnosis he will get the help he needs.
Your reality was just validated and you still don't want to believe it, that small doubt.
Embrace it. Learn what you can. He will be better off and so will you. The more you know, the more in control you will be in dealing with his school and elsewhere.
It's going to be OK. ((((HUGS))))

When we first found out our daughter's diagnosis I went through a lot of emotions: happy to have a name to give it (dyslexia and inattentive ADD), happy to have a path forward, sad that she is so miserable at school, depressed that she HATES school so much she cried almost daily (we hired a legal advocate to get her on an IEP since our district thought she just needed meds), guilty that somehow my genes were faulty, etc. It took a few days to sink in and then I spent about 2-3 weeks being really depressed. But after that I came out of the depression and was able to really fight for her needs. I think you might need to give yourself time to grieve for all the same kinds of reasons. But keep in mind that every child has and brings his/her own joys, even if not the ones you imagined when you started your family. My cousin's son was mentally retarded, had to live in a support setting except for weekends after he was older, he recently died at 38 and his parents are devastated - they would do anything to have their loving, joyful, innocent, sweet son around still even though it caused them financial and emotional hardships at first. It may sound corny, but love really does conquer all. Make sure to have some time to re-charge your batteries, and don't feel guilty about accepting all the help that is offered. Consider yourself hugged.

So you're in Holland now? ;)

I'm sure you've read it but here's the link:
http://www.our-kids.org/archives/Holland.html

The thing you need to always remember is that you are doing the absolutely right thing by getting your child the *right* stuff he needs to thrive. He's going to get what HE needs when HE needs it.

He's still the same little boy he was yesterday. :) Hug him tight.
You're a great mom, Libby.

Its just the truth of reality hitting you. You know how you can suspect something, and a little voice in your head tells you it might be bad, or scarey but you shove that voice aside and try to forget or to make excuses for whatever is happening but it keeps popping up and you keep thinking its bad. You finally get conformation from an expert that your suspitions are right, and its hard to face the problem and admit that life isnt always perfect and there are going to be hard times dealing with it. But, the best part is, now you know, and now you can start to move forward and get all the help and learn all you need to help your son to live up to his full potential and have a great life.
I saw symptoms of diabetes in my daughter and knew what it was. I called the dr and made an appointment telling them I suspected she had diabetes. I said it out loud to a couple friends. I even asked a good friend who also has had type 1 diabetes since he was a teen. At the appointment when they tested her blood sugar and it was well over 600 I KNEW it. But they sent her for extensive blood work and when they called the next day asking us to bring her to the hospital, I was still fine, but certain what it was. It was days after that it finally hit me how serious this was and how life changing diabetes would be to her and us as a family. The disappointment in how things will be different from everyone else and what struggles we would have to go thru hit me. Even tho I had "known" what it was for a few days before, it was still really difficult to hear the words and see the paperwork stating she was type 1 diabetic. Its the reality check youve gone thru too. Im glad you are seeking help and you will feel better about the whole thing, and every now and then it will come back to kick you and make you feel sad, bad, angry, frustrated and upset again. Thats all part of how reality works. Big hugs to you and your son.

My step daughter is 15 and is moderately retarded so she is permanently disabled. My daughter, 12, is ADD and I have her IEP meeting Monday morning. My son is almost 9 and recently diagnosed as ADHD. He is still being evaluated.

I understand even tho you *know* something is going on, when the reality of it hits, it hits hard. I have 3 kids and all of them have challenges and are completely different. And having to deal with the therapies, schools, IEP's and everything else, it seems like its a full time job sometimes. But that's WHY we have these kids. Because we are able and willing to care for them and do everything possible to make sure they have the best lives possible.

Its hard mama but you are doing the right thing by finding other parents of SN kids. You must do that because parents of typical kids just don't "get it". Good luck!!!

Oooh, Denise beat me to it. I was going to tell you to check out the "Welcome to Holland" poem, too. It's so true. Know that you are getting the help he needs at a very important time. He can make huge gains and the staff can help him get ready for kindergarten, and prepare the team at the elementary school with all the tricks and tips that work for your little guy (if he even still needs them). I work in a special ed preschool for a district and it is amazing what these little guys can accomplish with the right tools. The staff will be able to give you things to do at home to make all your lives easier and less stressful.
Just love your little guy the way you always have--and cut yourself a little slack, you are going to greive- that's only natural. But then you can move forward and feel good knowing you got him the help he needs. Good luck!

I realized that my son was on the Autism Spectrum when he was four months old. He was not actually diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum until he was two years old. After so long of trying to tell the doctors what I was seeing, when it was finally confirmed I nearly fainted......in relief. I was relieved that I was not crazy, I had begun wondering after awhile. I was given a pretty bleak outcome for my son. It was said that he would probably never communicate and would need a great deal of assistance. He never stops talking and cooks for himself.

My son is now ten years old. He is an amazing person and "seems" normal to the outside world. I did a lot of work with him over the years. We don't focus on the oddities if it isn't something that will affect his ability to learn or function in society, he can still line things up in perfect lines if that is what he really wants to do. He runs into obstacles that take creativity and understanding to help him through. We do things differently for him in many ways, but I don't consider it "coping". I look at him as a normal person with needs like anyone else, the expectations for him are the same as our other children. He has to follow rules, learn from his mistakes, and accept our help. All of my children have one special need or another.

My son with Autism is on an IEP as well. It is important that all people involved work as a team and pay attention to the needs of children with Autism, especially the teachers involved. We are now homeschooling because the teachers in our school would not work as a team and this caused my son's life to be endangered as they were not thinking about his best interests and watching for potential problems. I have found over the years that it is best to solve any problems as quickly and easily as possible to prevent larger ones. For instance, due to my son's sensory issues he has a hard time using wooden pencils and therefore will refuse to do schoolwork. Allowing him to use mechanical pencils resolves the bigger problem of not doing schoolwork.

A child on the Autism Spectrum CAN have the same out of life if they are taught the right skills to help them through their obstacles, have understanding and supportive parents, have parents who get involved in their interests, and have people around them who can accept them for who they are and instill feelings of trust. It is an overwhelming thing to deal with and children on the Autism Spectrum do need extra help that other children may not. But it is well worth the effort. It all depends on the help they receive, when they start receiving the help, and the degree of the disorder. Most importantly, they NEED to be loved like any other child. I hope this gives some comfort to you and provides you some help. Good luck and just love your blessing for who he is.

Remember to live on day at a time, and that he is the same boy now that he was before he was tested. Not an iota different. Not inside nor outside.

What is different is that when he goes to school he will be getting some special help for his special needs. That is a good thing. When teachers talk to you they will address those needs.

But in your family he doesn't have any special needs. He is still your little boy. Don't treat him any different. He is not glass nor rubber nor steel. He is human, flesh and blood. Heart, soul and mind. Love. Your little boy, one day at a time.