Hi - just a quick opinion check. My SD, age 14, lives with us. Like most girls her age, she is a hair-flattening freak and uses a flat iron every day. Hers broke a while ago and I hardly use mine so I said that she could use it for the time being. Well she came home after school with a friend and then went out and I just found it plugged in and on full temp (200 degrees) on a pile of papers in her room. Um, fire hazard anyone? So I'm thinking that a) no flat iron use for a week and b) from now on, only in the bathroom (and if it's left on again, there will be a further consequence if/when it happens). She already knows that she is to unplug it after use so in the bathroom at least if she forgets again, there's not likely to be anything nearby that would catch fire. Is that fair? Just checking because sometimes I'm accused of being "harsh" with her when running ideas by my husband.
ETA: yes they absolutely cause fires esp. when left near anything flammable (carpeting, paper, clothing).
Thanks everyone - DH actually agreed with me (small miracle LOL) as this isn't the first time this has happened and fire safety is something he's big on. Good to know that some models have auto shutoff. We're not willing to invest in a new one right now given that a decent one for daily use is so pricey and mine is just fine, but if/when it comes time for a new one, we'll definitely opt for the auto shutoff. And good reminder on the protecting spray - she learned that the hard way when she was younger and used to cook her bangs to death with a cheap iron and no spray and they literally cracked and fell off in chunks from being so burnt! So she's good with the spray. As to the responses from people who keep them on and walk away, color me surprised. Mine takes literally 30 seconds to heat up so there is no way I would use it and walk away without unplugging it, planning to come back later. I'd be afraid of one of my kids or the dog coming into contact with it and getting burned, even if it shut off automatically.
I think restricting use to only the bathroom makes perfect sense, but taking it away for a week for a mistake does actually seem a little harsh to me.
I would tell her she's only allowed to use it in the bathroom from now on. Then, let her know, if it happens again you will take it away for a week.
Sorry, this is why children have parents. They need help. They need reminders.
Remind her, remind yourself she's a KID, and you're not.
And enjoy her.
:)
Even adults make this kind of mistake, so I'm not sure it warrants punishment. Instead, what about looking for a flat iron with the auto turn-off feature? That way, you can rest easy knowing that it will turn itself off if she forgets.
I would think that losing the iron for a week would remind her to turn it off when she leaves the house. If she is a flat ironing freak, then it's an appropriate and related consequence. I also think that using it in the bathroom where it's less likely to set paper on fire is a good compromise.
If he thinks you're harsh, ask him what he thinks should happen and why it's "harsh"? Make sure that any consequence is backed by DH.
My DH took all the candles out of SD's room when we found out she wasn't just using them for decoration, but burning them and leaving them. She wasn't pleased, but he reminded her that it was a small price to pay for an intact house. My Great Aunt burned her house down via an unattended candle.
J.B.
From what you are saying, it sounds like this is the first time it happens, I would make sure she realizes it was very irresponsible of her to have left the iron on, and give her a warning, and if it happens again then go with the no flat iron deal for a week.
That seems like a fair consequence. Although I would maybe up it to 2 weeks.
As a teen I was once banned from candles after my mom discovered I left one burning when I left for an evening out with a friend. Candles were banished for a few months.
I think she gets that it is dangerous to leave it on but not HOW dangerous it could be. When she is not with you search online for some videos, youtube should have some, on how very easily these hair appliances can start a fire. Then go outside or other safe place and show her, not the video but actually how easy things like paper can start on fire from flat iron.
Once she sees how easily this can happen the impact should be enough to help her remember.
I am not saying you should scare her or yell. Just say "honey, I was really scared because you left this on the other day and it was on top of a pile of papers". And then show her how easy it would be to start a fire. Also remind her that things like nail polish, hair spray, gel ect are extemely flammable.
Not a consequence but a lesson.
You are on the right track, I would do exactly the same and second does she use a heat protectant if she flat irons that frequently - she is asking for major damage if she does not. Got2b is really good and affoardable found at Walgreens and Ulta.
It depends on her... If she's normally a responsible 14 year old, then I say "B".... If she's not, then "A"...
I agree that if you had already said there would be a consequence, then yes. If not speak to her NOW.
I bought a metal Trivet/heat pad like the ones you use on the table for hot food. I got it from Pampered Chef so it a cute design. Where ever the flat iron goes so does the Trivet.
Both my daughter and I use it and both of us have left it on by accident ALL DAY. Thanks to the Trivet it never caused any damage!!
Good Luck and GOD BLESS!
D.
I have to laugh at this. Not at you or her or the seriousnes of the situation.
I am 46 years old. My girls both have flat irons and I have a curling iron. Every time I plug mine in I still hear my father ranting about the electicity bill and how the D^%$ curling iron was left on again, or how my sister and I were going to burn the house down.
In our house it must be in the bathroom. I have not found it left on yet so I don't know what I would do. If it were a repeat offense I think I would take it away.
Did she know the consequences for leaving it on before you gave it to her? If yes, then the punishment seems fair. If there were no ground rules set, it's time to set them. Let her know where she can use it and what will happen if she leaves it turned on. (It may also be worth the investment to get one that shuts off automatically after a set time). THEN you can take it away for the week.
It sounds completely reasonable and fits the situation. It is exactly what I would do.
I would tell her she can use it in the bathroom but not before Wednesday. If she leaves it on again, she loses it for a full week. If she leaves it on again after that, she loses it for a month.
LBC
You do need to make her realize what can happen if she does this. You would rather be safe than sorry. See if there are videos on Youtube about straighteners catching things on fire to show her. I dont know if I would take it away from her for a week for a first offense. I would sit down and explain to her, like an adult, what is expected of her. If it happens again it will be gone. It should only be in the bathroom anyways. Oh how I cant wait for the teenage years.
When I read this I had a HUGE FLASHBACK to a book my dad brought home from his fire station. It had pictures of kids that were caught (burned) in fires. SCARED ME TO DEATH seeing that thing.
Now at 44 years old I wish I knew what that book was because kids don't THINK of what can REALLY happen. Sure you house may catch on fire but YOU can TOO!
My husband had an accident 12 years ago and his burns were pretty bad. I would NEVER wish that on anybody.
The only consequence I would consider is telling her to try not to let it happen again. I don't think it's actually a fire hazard. It would burn your skin, but I don't think it would catch anything on fire.
Don't those things automatically shut off? I know older models don't, but I thought all of the newer ones did.
if she's left it on before then take it for the week. If this is her first offense take it for a day or two. My daughter is 16, has super curly hair and is a flat iron freak ... I'm pretty sure she'd go into with drawl if hers was taken away for any real length of time.
I would limit use to the bathroom though, unless I'm doing my daughter's hair that's where hers stays. No using it in the bedroom. Just be aware that certain hair products are also flammable and anything under pressure (hair spray, shaving cream, etc) should be kept AWAY from the iron.
Mine is kept at 430 degrees (curly hair).
I leave mine on all the time.
1) It hangs on a "towel ring" in the bathroom... so it's never near anything flamable
2) It has an automatic shut off after 20 minutes
I'd say... first offense = no punishment BUT a lay down of rules. Where it may and may not be used, and how it is to be kept. If there are no rules surrounding the use of it, and this is how she's always used it, it seems fair to make rules FIRST, instead of ex post facto.
Almost everything that seems like 'common sense', we usually have rules (stated rules) for. If you think about it... those 'common sense' things we just drilled the rules early and young so they became second nature. New(ish) things need a quick rundown of rules. True for anything really. From powertools to cooking to hair stuff. We aren't born knowing these things. We're either instructed, or figure out on our own by screwing up.
Myself, I could NEVER turn it off all the time. (Part of why I bought one that has an automatic shut off). It takes some time to iron my hair, and I'm often interrupted or stop in the middle and come back. If I shut if off every time I needed to do something "just for a moment" that ended up taking forever or hours... then the dozens of times that I shut it off when I WAS back in 'just for a moment' I'd have to wait for it to heat back up again. JUST LIKE IRONING CLOTHES. I don't unplug the iron every time I step away. I set it safe, and if I'm away too long, it shuts itself off. Then I have to wait for it to heat back up again, but I'm not wasting my time when I have to duck in and out.
Which is ALSO why I have a ring in my bathroom that I hang it on, hot and on, whenever it's not in my hair. The ring doesn't heat up because the ring is at the back hinge, and the iron is heat shielded, so the drywall doesn't even heat up as much as the drywall under the lightbulbs.
So it has automatic shut off, and I have a safe place to put it!
Just my experience from using a flat iron daily.
I would say no flat iron for a week and only can be used in the bathroom for the first offense. Second offense no flat iron use for a month and third gone all together.
