Receiving Hand Me Downs from Friends for My Kids...

You have NOT dropped the ball...I give all my kids clothes to friends and family, then donate what's left...garage sales are TOO much work! I have even given expensive barely worn shoes! What do I get out of it? Knowing I helped out someone and that they are using my kids expensive, great condition clothes a lil longer! I never take money and am happy to give them to someone who will use them. What I love is to see those kids and they are always wearing SOMETHING I gave them! A thank you is enough...but if it would make you feel better, send a nice, personal note. (I have also received clothes for my daughter from a friend and they were all Hollister, Abercrombie, Aeropostale...so I really felt like I should give some money or something, but they won't take it! I'm thinking of maybe giving my friends daughter a gift card or something for Christmas, since she is away at college for the first time this year.) You are lucky to have such generous friends and if clothes are still in decent condition, you could always pass them along to another family who would use them!

Just "pay it forward". And, really, you are helping them by allowing them to get the stuff out of their house!

I have always given my son's clothes away. I am more than happy to give them away as long as I know they will and can be used. I have a family member that pretended to need them but instead was selling the clothes for cigarette money. Grr. On the other hand, my son just gave up all of his Star Wars shirts he has outgrown to a younger cousin who went nuts with excitement! That is all the thanks needed.

Nope, just a thank you is perfect! I often give our nice/used clothes away and am so happy for someone else is able to use them.
Trust me, they dont expect anything in return.
I would try to throw your child into one of the outfits they gave you when you do see them. Its nice to see it and remember when your kid was little enough to wear them. :)

Ignore your husband. Bake your friend some cookies if you feel you need to do something for her.

I have been the recipient and the giver. No one has baked me cookies, but that's not important to me. Both the receiving and the giving of the clothes feel great! At some point, pass the clothes without stains or tears on. Some other mom will appreciate it.

Dawn

It sounds like your husband is having an issue with his pride. He may be viewing their good nature as charity in a negative sense. If they said that they do not want compensation, a nice thank you card will let them know that you really value the items they gave you. My friends and I often rotate clothes and baby items and we do not expect any one to compensate us for them. Women I think tend to be more community minded. Tell your husband with the money you all save that you can do something nice as a family or throw a get together for your friends.

I have three friends who gave me all their girls clothes and I was overflowing with cute dresses and adorable sleepers - they also asked for nothing in return. So what I have done is make sure they see pictures (we live too far to see them anymore) of my daughter in the cutest outfits (or the ones they mentioned loving seeing on their own daughter). I also have given back all the clothes and then some to one of the moms who had a surprize baby girl a year after my daughter was born. I have now handed down tons of my own stuff (that my mom bought even though I didn't need it) to my best childhood friend who has a daughter.
My husband always comments that it irritates him to see so many kids clothes companies because there is no reason that any child would ever need new clothes if we all just gave to each other - imagine how much money could be saved for college if we never spent another dime on kids clothes! ;)

Just be sure to either pass them along again or donate to a good charity.

You're lucky - tell your hubby it they way moms roll these days.

You ARE giving something in return. You are allowing the friends to feel good about GIVING something to someone who could use it!!

I've been in your situation for years as I've been blessed with great clothes from my friends for all 3 of my kids. Now I'm in the position of passing them on. Believe your friends when they don't want to accept anything for the clothes. I love it when I can clean out my house and pass things on. A simple thank you is enough.

I just expect them to be handed down to the next deserving kiddo - nothing more - nothing less.

I agree with you. I have been on both the giving and receiving end. It's great to de-clutter and know that perfectly good items won't go to waste in a landfill. I LOVE passing things along. It's also, of course, great to not have to shop every season and every year. Win-win for everyone. Just pay it forward - no need to do anything in return but I'm sure a nice thank-you note in the mail would always be welcome!

I love giving people my kids nice hand me downs. I never expect anything in return...just hope that once their kids outgrow them, if they are still wearable, they give them to another kid who needs them! I think if they had wanted something in return for the clothes, they would have probably just sold them instead of giving them away.

As someone who has been on the giving and receiving end, it truly IS just wonderful to get rid of stuff!! I don't want or expect ANYTHING in return! Pay it forward. Bake her cookies, if you'd like. Or invite them to dinner. But... if she says she doesn't want or expect anything in return...she is most likely speaking the truth!

No I don't think you dropped the ball, and if your friends are like me (and they sound like they are), I don't expect anything in return when I give my kid's clothes to friends. I just enjoy knowing that other little girls and boys can wear some of my kids cute clothes and enjoy them. It makes me happy to see some of those special little outfits on another child. They grow up too fast!

If you feel you absolutely need to do something, bake some cookies or brownies or take your friend to lunch.

True friends help each other out without strings attached. Sounds like you have some great friendships!

I think people give things because they want to and it makes them feel better. however, never underestimate the power of thank you.. How about making one and having all the kids sign it.. even decorate it... whether used clothing or used. you can use the person's generosity as a teaching tool... one, WOW... I have kind friends who look out for us.. and Two.... the attitude of gratitude... definitely, at some point, have the kids sign off on a card .. and if one is too little to write, they can make a picture... giving goes both ways and then some ..

wishing you the best

I agree with the picture suggestion. When people give you clothes, they love to see pictures of your child in those clothes and how cute they look. As a side note, whenever we're done having kids, I'll be SO GLAD to get all the baby clothes out of here! I'll hand them off to anyone! LOL

It's awesome that you are so appreciative...that's all you need to be.

*Send a thank you card or send an email with a picture of your kiddo wearing one of the outfits.
*Pay it forward and tell the mom that you will do that.
*If you feel compelled to do more, send a gift card to a local restaurant or a coffee card for the mom.

I've been on both sides and love it. What a great way for us to help each other!

When I give my friend clothes, the best thing she can do for me is to say "thanks" and I am just super-happy when I see her son WEARING the clothes I gave him. Lets me know that she really is thankful and likes the clothes, not that she just says 'thanks' and then behind my back says "Uhhg this is ugly. I don't like this shirt. Too many shirts.....etc".

So say a simple "Thanks" and send her a picture or next time you see her in person, make sure your kids are wearing a shirt/outfit you gave.

Something else I have done when I received clothing from someone -- she gave me a big bag of clothes that had just recently outgrown her son. So next time I went shopping, I picked up one nice new shirt for her son in the next size up. Kind of like a replacement for all the clothes he just outgrew.

I've been there too! None of my friends want anything in return, so I've just graciously accepted the hand me downs. And then the next time we go out to dinner or coffee, I pick up the tab. For one friend who gave us tons of stuff (basically outfitted my twins between the ages of 18 months and 3.5), I sent each of her kids a present. She gave us too much for me not to do something in return.

No, I don't think you have missed the ball. I've been given and have given clothes to others. I don't expect anything in return. Sometimes we just like to do something nice. And, yes, it really is a good feeling to get rid of some stuff. Maybe next time you are out with your friend buy them a coffee or lunch or something to say thank you, but I think anything more might get awkward, especially if they have already said "no thank you."

If you offer, and they say no, then go with it. If they wanted money for the clothes they would try and sell them off.

I'm the say way, after our last baby I gave away ALOT of really nice stuff. I figure if I can give things to people who otherwise not be able to get it, or just giving to someone you know can use it, that's great!

I wouldn't worry about it! What are friends for???

I know how you feel! It is not rude to accept things without giving something in return. I have a friend that gives me bags full of clothes at the end of each season and I have offered to do things for her. She always just says, "No, I like helping you out, and getting it out of my house." The last time I told her I was going to take her out for a cuo of coffee! I feel bad getting all these clothes and not doing anything in return.

When I get hand-me-down clothes for my children I write the givers a heart-felt thank-you note, or just a verbal THANK YOU... depending on how close a friend.

When I give hand-me-downs to others, I expect nothing, and would feel awkward as these are hand-me-downs. It would be different if the giver usually sells the used clothing at garage sales. Then, I would feel obligated to pay or give something back.

Most of us, however, give them away either to friends, family or to Good Will.

I would not listen to your husband either as YOU know what the exact social relationship you have with these other people. Not him. If he feels obligated, let HIM offer to fix their car, plumbing, deck, etc.

I would write a thank you note, or maybe bake them some home-made cookies, or brownies, or a pie, or something like that. Something that shows more how much you appreciate it. My SIL's little girl is 2 years younger than mine and they live several states away. They get all of DD's outgrown clothes, including winter coats and snowpants, so it's saving them a bundle (and financially they are really strapped so they need all the help they can get). And it does cost me money to ship it all, but I still don't care, because this is our niece, and for the cost of buying one outfit, I can ship a boxful of 10 outfits to them instead. Same thing for toys and books that are in decent shape. I don't expect anything in return, because I am happy to get it out of the house, and to know that someone else who really needs them will get another round of good use out of them. But I think small something to show your appreciation is never a bad idea. Personally I would love to see some pics of my niece wearing the stuff!

Just a thank you note, that is all that you should do, if they don't want anything in return.

Hand me downs are one area where you pay it forward, not back! I never give the people who give me hand me downs anything but my sincere thanks, and I never expect anything but thanks from the people I give hand me downs too.

As long as you say thank you to the "hand me down fairy" AND take your turn to BE the "hand me down fairy" to someone else it's all good!

Your husband is sweet to be concerned, but no, no 'exchange' is necessary. I've received great pass-alongs from sister and friends, and then do pass along to families with younger children. An occasional "Thank You" in our email in-box is fine. And it is great, as others have suggested, to see someone else's cutie-pie in our son's clothes. Nostalgia, perhaps.

If, however, someone is spending money to mail those items and it becomes costly, a little acknowledgment of it (thank you card via mail with maybe a gift card) might be in order. Otherwise, not a big deal. We really *do* want to get that stuff out of the house!

I usually give my kid's clothes away to either friends or family and never expect anything in return. I've gotten some hand me downs from friends and very much appreciate it. If you'd like to do something for them a nice thank you card saying how much you appreciate it and how much your child likes that clothing would be enough. If they're the ones to offer it to you and didn't tell you they wanted compensation I think you're fine.

On a side note: My son outgrew his Bumblebee (Transformers) sweatshirt and really wanted his younger cousin to have it. He was beyond excited since he loves Bumblebee.

No, they don't want anything. You would make it uncomfortable for them if you kept insisting that you needed to do something for them. Then you won't get them anymore. They just want them gone, to them it is not big deal.

I receive hand-me-downs from several of my friends. I have my daughter write them a thank you note. There is one friend who gives us about 3 bages of clothes at least 3 times a year. A lot of the stuff is gently used toys, clothes and books. A lot of the clothes still have tags on them. After 4 years of her doing this, I sent her and her family a tin of cookies from Mrs. Field's for Christmas last year. I included in the note how much we appreciate her thoughtfulness throughout the year. She was so touched! I also email her pictures of my daughter wearing the clothes she has given us.

You should have written a thank you note, no more.

Or send a photo of the kids in some special outfits so they know they are being well loved.

No, you are just fine, and by accepting them you are already reciprocating! Once my baby grows out of his clothes, I'll be passing on his clothes to friends/family, otherwise I'd just "freecycyle" them anyways because I just want them out of the house.

You have not dropped the ball. I never expect something in return when I give used clothing and I don't think anyone else does either. I know when I give, I feel good knowing that the clothes I paid good money for will continue to get used and that they will make another child very happy. Also, I have been given clothes numerous times for my granddaughter and really never feel the need to give something in return. People who give away used clothing don't expect anything but a 'thank you'. If you didn't take the clothes they probably would have been donated anyway.

When I give clothes, I never expect anything in return. I'm genuinely happy to pass them to someone that can get some use out of them.

IF you feel you would like to do *something*, send a thank you card and a gift card of some sort: gas, dinner, clothing store!

I never give anything in return.....when my friends give me stuff or i give my friends stuff its just kind of an unsaid thing that........well, i dont need it anymore, or they dont and we are just happy its going somewhere it can be used.

you have not dropped the ball at all. Hand me downs are a pay it forward type thing....I pass along stuff all the time without thought of wanting anything in return. Had I wanted something in return, I would have tried to sell it. A simple thank you is perfect.