Refusing to Poop in Potty at 3 Yrs. of Age

My daughter was the same way. I offered rewards for going to the potty. We went to the dollar store and I let her pick out toys. Then we went home and I put them in a net bag {where she could see but not touch} and hung them up high on the bathroom wall. She was told that everytime she used the potty she could chose a toy from the bag. It still took a few weeks to get it going good. Then one day I explained to her she would get time out if she did'nt use the potty. She was not put in time out if I knew she tried or it was a time that could not been helped. I'm glad to say...IT WORKED!!!

Hi, I don't know if it will help, but I was watching some doctor on tv one day talk about potty training and he said to put cheerioes in the pot and make a game of sinking the cheerioes.

oddly enough some kids are very proud of their poop and feel like it is part of their body and for it to be flushed down the toilet just upsets them. yes i know it seems gross but some kids just dont know that everyone else thinks poop is gross. Also sometimes the sound of the toilet scares them so the idea of being on the potty is scary. I would just suggest showing her that you guys do it and that is the way that everybody does it and that she should do it too. Also sometimes setting up a reward system like a piece of candy for a poop will work or if she poops all week long in the potty then she gets a new little present, etc.

HI! Been there, done that! :)

I have two boys who are now 11 and 9. (2 years apart, just like you.)

We had our first son completely potty trained before he was even two..... but...... then we brought home this new baby with DIAPERS. So our oldest son completely regressed. This was so frustrating, because we knew he knew how. A YEAR AND A HALF LATER (after trying everything under the sun), we completely dropped it. We told him that he was a big boy, but if he likes Pull Ups, that was fine with us, and that whenever he was ready, to just let us know, and we would help him. And we meant it! We were so tired of fighting and worrying about what everyone thought. Because (I'm sure you already know this yourself) EVERYONE has something to say about it. (Especially IN-LAWS!)

Anyhow, he almost immediately started using the potty again. THANK GOD!!! They are at that independent age where they want to be in control of everything. And using the potty is completely in their control. And on top of their age issues, they also have this new "competitor" in the house who seems to be getting all of the attention. And I'm sure you have heard this too, but even bad attention is good enough for a toddler.

Whenever it was time to potty train our second son, we never really tried. When he turned two, we told him that he was old enough to use the potty now, and that whenever he was ready, just let us know and we would help him. He wasn't interested for about six months, but only had about three accidents when HE decided to learn. It was completely stress free, and he is a much more confident child than our first, and I truly believe the whole potty training experience had a lot to do with it.

Good luck! It really does get a lot easier!!! You are very close to a great turning point! Mine are best friends now!

My four year old was like that.........I finally just let him poop his pants and then made him get in the shower and clean himself up.....including his clothes.
It worked. Today he'a a married police officer with two great kids of his own.
M.

You need to make sure that her stools are soft enough and that she really isn't afraid it will hurt. I had a friend who's daughter went thorough the same thing, and the truth was, it really did hurt. Her stools were to large and hard to pass. It became a very painful experience. So therefore refused to go at all. I'd check it our to make sure there wasn't an underlying issue first.
D.

Hi April, I hear your concern, but I had this problem and still do from time to tome and my daughter is 4 now. When she won't use the potty or toilet it is usally when she is constipated. I took her to the Dr when she complained of her butt hurting and he gave me a medicine that helped it not hurt when she went poop and now the only time I have any problems is when she is constipated, so maybe you should ask her Dr if this could be a problem for your daughter. Good Luck and keep us posted. ~G.

Does she usually go poop in the potty or does she wear diapers/pull-ups? If she is constipated, try a child size glycerin suppository. They work great.

Jones A.
Is there any possibility that your child is a bit constipated? I do not know if you have thought of that, but if so, that can hurt and so they hold it in, avoiding the pain of pooping.

If that may be a problem, adding a little aloe vera into juice will help. My pediatrian also suggests probiotics ANYtime my daughter gets sick (it balances the natural, good flora in the gut. This promotes a better immune system).

I wish you the best!
C.
www.candlewealth.com/soy4u

My 3 yr old had the same problem, because she was afraid to poop in the potty. So hat I did as just rub her bac and tell her to just let it come on its on and not push it. Sometimes I give her some water at room temp because this helps a lot if it won't come. She got so excited when she did, she goes all the time now and tells me to come look! LOL.

Do your best to get her to use the potty I am dealing with a child that withholds during the day never has an accident but when he goes it's in his pants at home. He's 7 he was developmental delay because of needing ear tubes now adhd. This happens to boys as well as girls the not wanting to sit on the potty and poop. I am still working with my son and it's not easy I've been to website where other mothers tell their stories and need support. It develops or can into encopresis. Do as much web research as you can and do what ever it takes to get her on that potty. By the way if someone suggest spanking don't bother it will make matters worse or not hugging or kissing her or making her sit in a room alone punishment will not help, this was suggested to me by a horrible therapist and of course other people who didn't have training in this area. You have the web at your finger tips (which I didn't until about almost a yr ago) so research everything you can. Best wishes to you.

My daughter was the same way. She was potty trained for pee at 26 months. Honestly, she could have been trained at 23 months but I had no idea how to potty train and her day care started when she was 2. She woke up dry every morning for about two months before her 2nd birthday. However, pooping was a different story. We had a few early successes but for the most part she would hold it until I put her in a diaper and she would go within 5 minutes. One day she sat on the potty to go pee and a poo slipped out. She said "Mommy poo poo no hurt!" She was truly shocked and surprised that it didn't hurt to poo in the potty. I believe she had one painful BM and just concluded it didn't hurt in the diaper and she wasn't going on the potty. Like so many others I did not want her to become impacted so I put a diaper on her every two or three days just to let her go. It took her a couple of months to start going poo on the potty regularly though.

We went on vacation to Sea World and from then on, she just started going and never looked back. There was no magic bullet for it, she just had to learn that it wasn't supposed to be painful.

Good luck.

I will not be much help, but just wanted you to know I am in the same boat with 3 year old boy. He just poops in his pants. If she is constipated I would try a gentle child poop softener. Good luck. I feel your pain. If you get the wonder answer please share with me.

I had the same problem with my granddaughter now six.I had her refered to a pediatric Gast.She was diag with an enlarged colin.It Was so impacted that they had to admit her to the hospital.She had to have the MACE proceedure done so we can try to correct the problem.The problem is our doctor kept saying it was normal and she was lazy but that wasn't normal,her colin was so enlarged that it doesn't contract.Please try to get your doctor to have her refered to have it checked out.I hope its not the problem but don't let it go too long.Good Luck!

My 3 year-old son was like this too. The reason was that he was constipated, so it hurt to have a bowel movement. He said his butt hurt too. We had to give him Miralax for a while to get him regular. It is OTC, but talk to your doctor to see if that may be the problem. The doctor can also tell you the proper dose for his age/size.

T.

Hi there,
I are going through the same thing with my 3 year old son. He wears pull ups and goes pee in the potty just fine. He has decided most days, no matter how many times or how long I make him sit on the potty, to go in his pull up. We have been dealing with the "my butt hurts" i.e. constipation, with increased juice and mineral oil. Friends say it is just a phase, just let him warm up to it in his own time. Friends tell me to use the Elmo potty training video. I have also seen a few books and toys. I was told positive reinforcement is the best medicine. I frankly, like you, am tired of cleaning poop off of my potty trained child. I hope I have helped!

Hello!! My sister is going through the same thing with her 3 y/o daughter. She will go at the babysitter's house, but not thier own. They have tried EVERYTHING under the sun; peer pressure included! And for some reason, Mikayla will not go. The doctor my sister sees says it is very natural and it is a growing process. Some kids just don't want to and are fine with going in their pants. I would think with your daughter, the pain would be enough. But suggestions I have heard are treats after going (a big one that they really like), special play time or movie after going, or not getting something they want until they go for a month straight. Good luck!!!

I had the same problem with my son. A pre-school teacher gave me this idea and it worked! Go to a dollar store and purchase maybe a dozen little items that would interest your 3 yr old. Gift wrap them all and place them in a bag, basket or what ever and keep them in the bathroom or close by. When there is a sucessful poop your child gets to pick a gift for a job well done! The instant gratification of picking out a gift is very motivating to little ones unlike the promise of being rewarded later. This worked like a dream for me! Goodluck.
J.

We had the same situation. My duaghter is now 3 and a half, and just started pooping on the potty. Basically, my pediatrician said not to push it (at her 3-year-old appt) because constipation can be a very serious problem. He said that more than 95% of kids are potty trained by the time that they are four, so she will eventually get it too. My daughter is very strong willed, and when she started pooping in her pull-up or panties, I would try to put her on the potty and she would scream and cry--almost like she was very afraid. So, I just let her poop in a pull-up for a long time, and encouraged her to go on the potty to pee (she would actually tell me she had to poop and we'd put a pull-up on). It was a long process, but we offered her some big rewards for when she was finally ready (A Webkinz puppy that she really wanted). One day a few weeks ago, she just went in and went on the potty and came out so proudly to show us and said, "Now can I have my Puppy Webkinz?" We called some people and had her tell them to stress what a big deal it was and how proud we were of her. She was very proud too. Then over the next few days, she continued to go in her panties (which was so frustrating) but now she has gone again in the potty many times. We just offered some additional smaller rewards, and had her go on the potty at very scheduled implements. By the way, before this we tried prune juice, treats, and many other suggestions. Apparently, she just had to decide for herself that she was ready--and when she understood more and was a bit older, I think she just deicided the prize was worth it and overcame her fear and went for it. Her personality is such that, the more we try to make her do something, the more she will be determined not to. Of course, there are certain issues where we need to overide her, but potty was one that we couldn't force. So, when we just let her go at her own pace, and kept talking about it, she decided it wasn't a big deal (I think). I don't know if your daughter is like that, but Good Luck!