Relationship Issues!

sounds to me like he is just using you as a place live.I would sart checking on where his others interest lie....

I do not know if these children are his. But sex is very important in a marriage. You have to decide if this is a man you can be faithful to. It seems this bothers you you just have to dig deep inside and figute out if he is all you want. I would be glad to listen if you need an ear to bend, I am by no means an expert on any of this but it bothers you so there is alot to consider.

This is frustrating - I'm 8 months pregnant right now and we are having the opposite problem. But we've been married nearly 11 years and believe me, we each go through highs and lows in our sex drives. Communication is what is needed here. When my hubby's drive is low and mine is high, I simply tell him that I'm needing a little more physicality in our relationship... He's usually happy to oblige. Same thing when I'm on a low and he's on a high. Like right now... I know he needs a little more than I can give him and he's very understanding. 3rd trimester pregnancy is just not the easiest time for a woman to be intimate. But since I know he has needs, I try to make an effort to get in the mood at least once a month!

If you discuss this sort of thing with him, I'm sure he'll understand. Stress is a distractor, maybe try a weekly 'destressing' night. Tell him that you'd like to give him a weekly body massage with some nicely scented oil to help him destress. I don't know any guy who doesn't think that massage automatically leads to sex! (grin)

Steph - Mom to almost 4 and wife of 10 1/2 years to a great, hard working and often stressed out guy.

Sounds like to me there is a medical issue here. Testosterone
is what makes men's sex drive high. This is the reason there's is higher than womens...they have much more of this horomone. Would he be willing to go have a simple blood test to check his horomone levels?

This comes from a medical website: "Andropause, a condition in which the testosterone level slowly declines with age, also decreases a man’s ability to enjoy sex. In addition to experiencing a decrease in sexual desire and erectile function, men with a lowered testosterone level may also notice changes in mood and emotions, a decrease in body mass and strength due to loss of muscle tissue, and an increase in body fat. Finally, the worst outcome may be alterations in bone mineral density, a condition called osteoporosis, which can lead to severe bone changes and even to fractures."

From other things that I have read, other medical conditions can start as a result of low horomone levels in men as well, such as a greater chance of having a heart attack, getting diabetes, and having the prostate enlarge. If this is the case, there are medicines (horomone replacement meds) that will correct the problem quite easily.

Good luck!!

Try including foods that are rich in zinc - low levels of zinc equal low sex drive. Good luck!

Beverly B. gave you some very sound advice.
Communication, communication, communication is
your best resource. If this is the man you want
to spend the rest of your life with, you need to
talk about any and everything. Tell him your needs
and desires. Likewise, encourage him to always
come to you and discuss anything bothering him.
Remember men are fixers and not always the best
listeners. Try giving one another feedback on
what you believe the other one is saying.

L. my name is A. .Iam reamarried and I also had children from my first marrage. My oldest child was 6 my middle child was four and my baby was 18 months so I can relate to that part. My oldest has congenital heart disease . He is now 23 years old and thank the lord he is doing great. My 2nd husband fell in love with all of my children whight away it was very hard on him to see our son going though all that he had to go through. Men do not deal with these things that well but we supported each other in the difficult times .You should talk to him about whats effecting him be compationate when you speak to him maybe you could make him a nice dinner just you to and talk. I hope this helps you. Thanks for taking time to read this.

It does sound like a lot of stress is the cause of the sexual "Distance" ! You both seem to have a lot to deal with, based on your "A little about me blog"! You said that you felt you had a high libido! That is very healthy to have! Men in general have a "higher" libido then women, so if your fiance is just not having desires then he seems to be a little overwhelmed! ( New engagement, daily life struggles, and the added responsibilities of a family! My husband became a little "distant" when we started our company. I went to Priscillas lingerie and bought him a sexual enhancement pill called Rize, (Rose4 -for women)! AMAZING!!! Men will never -admit- that they need a little help sometimes! "Male ego"!!! It sounds like he needs a stimulant like the enhancements. remember also that kissing (by mouth) is the highest know 4 play! Above all Prayer, and "praying as a couple" solves all problems, and builds the relationship to amazing levels!
The more you stress about the problem, the worse it will get! Relax, have fun, and explore something new EVERY TIME! This is the formula to keeping it exciting, and frequent!
Good Luck!

Just see if he will talk to you about it. If not suggest a doctor and "both" of you go, so as to not assign blame. I definitely believe if it is not something you can talk about, you both need check-ups. Tell him this is important to you and you want this resolved before moving on to marriage, but, that you want nothing more than to be his wife. Blame must be avoided.
good luck

Stress is a big factor in anyone's life,but that's no reason for the lack of intimacy in your relationship. Is he depressed? Will he talk to you openly about what he's stressed over, his job, finances, etc? Try talking to him without "nagging" him, not that I'm saying you are. I just know that when my husband is stressed out, being intimate with each other is the last thing on his mind.
Keep in mind though, there's always toys to help alleviate the frustration...hehehe There are more ways to be intimate than having sex.

Well there are a mix of Congratulations and I'm sorry here.
Congrats on the engagement. I would tend to think that since he proposed that he does want to be w/ you. My husband and I used to be intimate 3x a week, over the 3 years of our marriage it has declined to once a month if that. I feel your frustration as in my case it is my husband's lack of interest not mine. We have been going to marriage counceling for about a month now. Things are going well. Even though the intimacy hasn't increased a lot as I would hope it is helping.
I know you're probably thinking ok, what about me. I would suggest counceling for the two of you. I know that when my husband was not interested in me over time I felt rejected and unwanted, which led to insecurities, & etc. Counceling is a great communication link. It has really opened my and my husbands eyes on how the other one feels in certain situations.
I think that if the two of you start counceling now, that it would prevent a lot of frustration down the road.

Best Wishes
God Bless,
C.