Relationships Between Adopted and Non-adopted Siblings?

Updated on November 18, 2010
J.M. asks from Seattle, WA
11 answers

I just asked a general age difference question, and I have a related question about adoption.

I am wondering about relationships between siblings when one is the biological child of the parents and one is adopted. Can anyone share about this experience, particularly regarding the sibling relationship?

Thaks so much,
J.

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

My oldest three are not related in anyway. They all get along just like typical siblings. We came together as a family when they were 3, 2 and 2 and hubby and I married when they were 4, 3 and 2. As long as you don't make a distinction between the adopted child and the biological child and treat them both the same and love them equally, they won't care that there's a difference.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

depends on the temperament of the children involved, age of both the children, & the amount of love in the home! Too many factors to predict! Peace......

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have an older brother from the same parents. I also have a younger sister that my parents adopted. She is almost 10 years younger than me. I had to share a room with her too. Growing up was hard. We would fight a lot but I think that was because of the big age gap. But, now that she is in college, we get a long great! She just moved down to San Diego (an hour away) and she is so busy with homework and her boyfriend and so I'm sad that we don't get to hang out as much. Also we are moving out of state in 5 weeks too. But, we do make time for eachother. In just a couple weeks she is going to come over and stay the night and we are going to watch movies and eat cupcakes! I will miss her. So, it was hard growing up, but I've never thought of her as my "adopted" sister. I always thought of her just as my sister.

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have one adopted child and one birth child and honestly, I can't tell the difference. They can't either. There is no difference between an adopted child and birth child in my opinion. They are both my children, and they are both siblings and I guess I don't get why you think there would be some sort of difference. (They are also 9 years apart and are best friends.)

I know biological siblings who don't get along at all, and then some who do. Same with adopted kids and adopted/biological kids. Humans are humans. Doesn't matter whether they're biologically related or not.

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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

Hello, my son is 17 and adopted and my daughter is 10 and is biologically ours. You wouldn't know that they weren't genetically related, especially since they both look like our own. But that aside, there are several friends that have adopted siblings and there aren't any issues, they still love, fight and tolerate each other, as if they were blood related. My husband and his siblings are all adopted and many of my daughters friends are adopted, my daughter actually feels left out since she isn't. I love them both for who they are. Good luck

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

my parents had 4 bio kids then adopted me then two years later my sister (not bio)...for us there was a large age gap between us & the bio kids so growing up it was difficult because they were so much older, now we are all adults i am close to my two older sisters, but not my brothers there is just no common ground there. i will say that while my parents always "talked" about how we were all their kids, my mom plays favorites (not between adopted & bio but she just has a favorite girl & a favorite boy so that is weird & causes a lot of tension)

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

One of my good friends is a biological child and her adopted brother is about 4 years younger. They have a great relationship! She looks like their genetic child and her brother is of another race so it's very clear that he's adopted. For them, it's a non-issue. They have loving parents which seems to matter so much more than any other factor.

S.L.

answers from New York on

For my daughter is took a while before the bond really grew -there was a BIG age difference which didnt help. My son bonded faster with his new little brother despite the age difference. If I could do it over I would have involved them more in the process of meeting/visiting the new baby before the adoption which i didn't do for fear the adoption could fall through and because of the traveling expense. so I'd advise involving them and preparing them for a new adopted sibling to help them bond.

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

I think it depends on how you treat the children. One of my dear friends has an older, adopted brother and they dont get along well. This is due to her parents always telling her they didnt really need her, they already had her brother, and always treating him better. I think if you treat the children equally, as you would biological siblings, their relationship should be similar to biological siblings.

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K.W.

answers from Yakima on

I am the youngest of 4 kids - the older 2 are adopted Korean, and the younger 2 are biologically my parents. When I was born, the oldest was 6 years old, so we are all fairly close in age. Growing up was no problem for me. I looked at them, and still do, as my own natural siblings, and have no real notion that they are in fact "different" than I am in regards to family or blood or anything else.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We have two birth children (both boys) and our youngest (a girl) is adopted. We've only been home for 3wks with her, but honestly its like she's always been here. our oldest son had a very easy adjustment. Our youngest son had a harder time, but alot of his adjustment had to do with us being gone for so long (we adopted internationally and I was gone for 5wks)

Our daughter loves her brothers, they love her. We treat them all the same, although as with all children, some need more attention at times. Our oldest needs help with homework and 'big boy' things. Our youngest son needs lots of snuggle time and play time. Our daughter has special needs (CP) and so she needs the attention for appointments, physical and speech therapy, etc. But that would be the same with all birth children or all adopted children.... as long as everyone is loved and cared for and treated the same, its all good.

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