Relative Living with Me as a House Guest

Because money has exchanged hands, he is not a house guest; he is a tenant. You must have a written agreement about money, household responsibilities, and an End date for when he will leave. It doesn't matter that it is a cousin, you have legal responsibilities to handle if you want to charge rent.

When is he moving out? The longer he's there the more resentful you'll feel because he's really not paying enough for the loss of your privacy. I'd say its time for your hubby to have a chat with his cousin and get a firm moving out date or increase the amount he's paying.

I doubt he's trying to "save up and move out". It's VERY convenient living there with you for only $100 per month. If you guys allow it, it will likely continue forever. I would have a talk with my husband that I don't want a roommate, no matter how much he pays or doesn't pay, and give him a date to get out. He's had a few months to "save" so he needs to go. If you don't care that he lives there, then yes, he needs to pay significantly more. Rooms for rent in our area are $400-600. You can check craigslist to see what your area is going for and adjust accordingly. Good luck.

It would say, it depends on a few things. Does he have children with his wife whom he is supporting? Does giving him a place to live at $100 help ensure that he can make support payments? Is he working a full time job? Does he use the whole house including the common areas, vs. the bedroom/bathroom/laundry, plus storage (basement? attic?). In Boston, it costs $800-$1100 for a room in a condo or apartment with access to laundry and shower and kitchen.

I think your husband needs to sit down with him and ask what his plans are to "save up and move out" - that's very vague. If he's banking almost his entire salary less the $100 he pays you, that's one thing. But if he's going out, eating in restaurants (since he's not eating much with you or apparently even buying his own groceries), and so on, then he's spending all that disposable income on partying and fun, and he's taking advantage of you. So I would say, since he's been there since February, you need a rental agreement (you can find "boilerplate" samples on line) with a higher rent which also spells out his privileges and access, or you need to set a departure date. If he is storing his boxes in his room, that's one thing, but if he's spilling over into your common space (garage, attic, whatever), then he needs to find a storage place or an apartment.

But of course, your biggest problem is your husband, who does not think this is a problem.

I would definitely work on a plan. Obviously the cousin cannot stay with you forever. Only you guys can decide the timeline but it is best to have one. The sooner the cousin gets back on his feet and has some sort of control/normalcy over his life, the better. I am not sure I would approach him about the rent. Just get a plan in place. I doubt having the cousin staying with you for an extended period of time is healthy for a marriage...

Years ago DH and I stayed with his sister and her husband for a couple of months. We really didn't like it that much. Was so nice to finally get a place of our own and spread out....hang with friends, etc. House guests are only good for a few days in my opinion.

My brother has lived with me, supposedly short term. He moved, when I asked him to move after 2 years. I think he paid $150-$200. Just enough to pay for extra cost of utilities and agreement for him to do chores.
He used all of the house so he wasn't a guest.

I thought of him as a roommate and our family takes care of ours. When he started getting cranky about rent and chores, he found his own apartment, with my encouragment. I was single. I doubt a husband would agree to have my brother live with us for 2 years.

If you want him to move,.tell your husband to help him do that. Be direct. No amount of money is enough to pay for your lack of privacy and mental health.

I suggest that you could say he's not renting. He's contributing to household expenses.

Is he bothering you?
Is he using more than $100 worth of electric, water or anything that you NEED?

If he's not there that much - sounds like he's only using your home as a storage unit and quick fix for doing laundry.

Why do you feel he needs to pay more? What is your justification for it?
Do you NEED the room he's using?
Is his using the room stopping you from doing something you NEED to do?

For me? If there is a problem? Address it. State your case. There should be an agreement in place. He needs a plan.

That's what I paid for a room 25 years ago. I ate one meal a day with them, and used their machine machine, phone and electricity. That's my only experience in this type of thing.

Not sure if that's helpful - but when we went over costs etc. that seemed reasonable at the time and we all agreed to that.

Did you and your husband discuss this amount before he moved in? What about length of time he could stay?

I think it would be hard to change the amount now that it's been agreed upon. What would be your explanation to him? Sorry - we think we'll just charge you more now because we think you can afford it? Probably wouldn't go over well. Family relations may be more important than a bit more extra money from him.

How much he pays you is not the question you should be thinking about.
You need to know when he plans to get a place of his own and move out.
All's well that ends - you and your husband need to know what the cousins exit plan and time table is.
Leaving anything open ended in things like this just leads to a heap of trouble and resentment.

Does the amount of rent charged depend on the level of desperation of the renter?
Do you need more in order to accommodate the increased cost of having an extra person living there?
Or do you just not want him living there and need a way to get him to leave faster, such as increasing the rent?

This stuff rarely works out. No, it is not a lot, but he is family and you do not charge him like you'd charge a stranger.

In fact, tell him May is free. Give him back his 5 $20s and tell him that June 1 he needs to leave because you need to renovate, get a real tenant, paint the inside, whatever you can think of.

Hello:
In short, he should be paying much,much more to live "some place else".

Moving in with relatives should be very temporary (like a couple of weeks) until you can secure an apartment. Anything more than that is mooching. Been there...

Does it bother you having and extra person in the house? Some people are fine with it. I would be annoyed. I like my privacy, but it may not be an issue for you.

Where I live $100 would not be much help. That amount of money would pay for a mid range restaurant for 3 adults. I agree with another poster than you now have a tenant and not a house guest, even though he is do less help than a typical house guest (many guests thank a host with a dinner).

If the $100 covers the extra water/food, then leave it. If he COSTS more to you to live there, charge the cost. The faster he saves, the faster he's out.