Hello Ladies,
I came across an article some months ago about the dangers of warts to newborn babies which i can no longer find. I have a close relative who constantly has warts on her lips and i worry once our son is born she will naturally want to caress him and kiss him. More unfortunately, she has unpredictable outbreaks which have come and gone repeatedly since 2005 due to several illnesses that she has. I don't want to offend her in any way as she is a very well-meaning and loving woman, but as a new mother-to-be i want to protect my son especially when he is a newborn. How should i handle this? I've discussed this w/ my hubby & he gets offended (this woman is his mother). Additionally, my father-in-law has undergone chemo and radiation therapy. What are the dangers in that? Goodness, i may just be making a big deal about everything! Ugh! Thank you in advance for your advice.
Being the first born grandchild (5 years in the making-LOL!) these grandparents have awaited our son's arrival for quite a long time so this is why i feel it is especially hard to say no to the grandparents’ affections once our little blessing does finally arrive (in October), but under these particular circumstances, I just can’t risk it. i do feel much better knowing I'm only reacting as any protective mom would especially so early in a child's life. I will definitely take your advice in requesting that everyone simply hold my little one (no kisses allowed) for the 1st few months. This way I don’t offend anyone in particular- just EVERYBODY- Ha!! While I certainly want his immune system to strengthen, i don't want to jeopardize his health so early on either. On the other hand, I have many relatives who never made such a big deal about kissing/touching their newborns so I know I will quickly become the talk of the family but, considering that my child’s health is at stake, I’m willing to be made fun of. I'd like to believe that once he is of toddler age I will feel more at ease about his contact w/ germs and bacteria, yet I'm sure i'll quickly learn of my true reactions when the time comes. LOL! Thanks so much for your responses. They’ve been a great help!
There is no way a relative with warts on her mouth would be kissing my baby. I had one, a brother-in-law who had a reputation of sucking all of the nieces and nephews jaws. Guess what, he didn't touch my two children.
Hi B.. What a great momma you are for wanting to protect your LO already! When I would have similar questions to this, I would ask a pediatrician or nurse. (I have asked about herpes, shingles etc.).
In addition, I also think that you as a momma have a right to ask people not to kiss your newborn if you are uncomfortable. You are his momma and are the only one, in addition to the poppa, that has your LO's best interest at heart only. You do not have to worry about hurting others' feelings, only doing what is best for your LO. It is a lesson that will repeat itself often. People will understand if you say "For the first few months, I prefer if people don't kiss him yet. Please feel free to hug..." (Or you can leave out the hug part).
Ask your dr. as well, but I remember the first 1-3 months, I was told to be extra careful about having our LO kissed by lots of people. Their immune system I believe is most low at this point.
Again, don't be afraid to ask.
GL. HTH JIlly
You are in a super tough spot since that lady is your mother in law. I bet you and your husband are at odds over it because like most men he probably doesn't want to deal with that or think about it too much. I would think that since she has outbreaks on occassion that it is not so much warts but the herpes simplex 2 that is on the mouth and so many folks suffer from that. First make a call to your pediatrician and google maybe you can find legitimate info on the topic, such as that article you've misplaced. Maybe you can take your mother in law out to lunch and in a very nice way express your concerns. I can only imagine how my mother in law would react but you are just going to have to take matters into your own hands and deal with it. I had a situation with my mother in law when my first son was born. She was constantly telling me how to mother my son, giving me really stupid advice like give him orange juice and feed him cereal and I don't believe in that seeing that he was a newborn. (by the way she smoked while she was preggers with my husband and his sister so any advice she gave was NOT going to be taken) Needless to say we had a big ole' arguement and surprisingly (my husband who at first told me to be quiet- and I told him to be quiet and my father in law who said nothing) did not take her side. She ran out and sat in the car and asked to be taken home (5 hours away) and it did not happen. My husband and his father left us alone while they went to an Advanced Auto Parts, and it was UNCOMFORTABLE to say the least. You know what...she quit giving me advice.
I agree with Jilly. I'd just make the blanket statement to all visitors about no kissing since your son's immune system is still vulnerable the first months of life, then it doesn't appear that it's directed towards your MIL. In all honesty, I would have freaked if ANYONE kissed my newborn daughter no matter if they had warts or not. I made everyone use anti-bacterial sanitizer before holding my daughter and I think they just knew better than to share their germs by kissing.
Good luck!
I think I would go with the "nobody kisses the baby" approach previously suggested. You will just be labeled an overprotective Mom and there's nothing wrong with that!. As for the chemo/radiation I can't imagine any issues there except your FIL may be more susceptible to illness.
I think it's perfectly normal to make a big deal about everything when it comes to your newborn,
best of luck
when my lil one was born i would freak out if anyone touched her without washing their hands... and i would also freak out if anyone touched her if they were sick i would ask them to leave. i know that sounds harsh but your the one thats gonna get stuck with the sick baby and medical bills. just let everyone know not to touch or kiss her face bc newborns skin is very sensitive. my daughter is two months and her face still breaks out in whats called baby acne. so i get mad at anyone who touches or kisses her including my 4 yr old which is the hardest one to hold back!! lol just make sure you make it a point that no one is to touch or kiss her face and let your m-i-l know that maybe not in a mean way but just let her know that your only interest is the babys well being...
good luck!! : )
Do you mean warts or blisters? Warts I really have no idea about. Blisters from the herpes II virus are very common. In fact, around 65-70% of the population actually has the herpes II virus in their body and may or may not be aware of it.
That said, I would just ask everyone not to kiss baby. As for chemo and radiation, ask him to check with his onc doc. As far as I know you have to avoid bodily fluids but casual touch should be okay.
ask your pedi first : i think if she kisses him on the head it will be safe. you can tell her that babies get sick easily and you dont want anyone (other than you and the hubby or no one for that matter) kissing him on the mouth. realize that people are going to do what ever they want. also realize that if she ever baby sits she will do what ever she wants. i would just talk to her and tell her your consirns about your son getting the warts. good luck and God bless your family.
The "warts" are most likely cold sores and are VERY contagious. The best thing to do is politely explain your concerns and ask that she wash her hand and to not kiss the baby if she has an active cold sore infection.
