Requesting a Set of Home Keys

That wouldn't bother me, as long as I knew and trusted them. You have a right to say no, however; but this might be something you should learn to get comfortable with. I care a lot about my home and possessions, but I would give anyone I trust a key to my home.

Hi A.- She's asking for the key "in case of an emergency". Would you really rather your niece be in danger or scared and have no where to go then deal with your discomfort over someone else having your house keys? Unless there is more to the story (like a reason you can't trust your sister-in-law or niece) you should probably try to figure out why this makes you so uncomfortable. Sounds like the key may not even be used but just serve to reassure your niece. I know if it was my daughter, family and even close friends would do whatever was needed to help her feel safe and possibly protect her during an emergency. Not sure how old your son is but when kids start becoming more independent anything loved ones can do to keep them safe in this big world is so important not only to there physical security but also to their emotional well being.

Without knowing the dynamics of your personal relationships i would say it's ODD that you don't want to give your sister-in-law a key. I'm with Helen on this one. (Maybe it's me but I found Toni's response that giving a key to a trusted repairman house cleaner or whatever over a family member even more odd but to each his own - not here to judge). So a few things, I would give her a key so her niece has a safe place to go in an emergency (calling you or your husband in an emergency to find out how to get in seems like an invitation to trouble)put yourself in her and her child's place; you'll have someone who can help YOU if you need it (and you might); and lastly get a key to her place if only to even things out. Good luck.

A.,
I used to have a set of keys to my moms house for years even after I moved out. She had insisted that I keep them for emergency use. I would give your niece a key only because of all the stalkers out there. Our daughter was followed home twice in one months time. She did make it home, but I wish she had been able to get help from someone closer than our home. WE only lived 3/4 of a mile from the school. Just make it clear that it is for emergency only. That and you will have the piece of mind that she is safe, and maybe someone will do the same for your child in return.
WendiM

I read the other responses---some are polar opposites!
Every family is different. Some families have different boundries. You have the right to say no to anything you are not comfortable with. Your discomfort may not be a matter of not trusting your sister-in-law or niece, but a strong sense of home security and privacy. If you and your husband present the issue as "we don't give our house keys out for any reason, to anyone", I don't know why there should be any personal offense taken. Your niece should keep her cell phone and a whistle with her, and be familiar with the area. She could phone or knock if she needs anything. Her mom is probably just nervous about her daughter being apart from her for the first time.

I would say that if you are feeling uncomfortable about this then there is a reason. You should not feel obligated to do this at all. You didn't mention her age, but if she is a teenager she may go to your house during school hours when she is unsupervised. I teach high school so I have heard it all.

I guess it really depends on what type of relationship you have with your sister-in-law. Personally I have a key to my sister-in-law's house. It has come in handy for both of us. She calls when she needs someone to feed her dog, pick up something for her, etc. I've used it to hang out while waiting for my kids (she lives in town and we live out in the country). I would feel comfortable with most of my sister-in-laws or sisters having a key to my house. Now my brother's soon to be wife, I don't know that well and may not be as comfortable with. But they live far away and I don't think that will be an issue. So I think the answer to your questions will vary from family to family.

Dear A.,

Go with your feelings. Make sure your niece knows how to contact your and your husband at home and work in case of emergency. I'm sure she would be welcome to come for dinner or stay over night sometime, but someone who does not live in your house on a regular basis,unless it's a trusted housekeeper or repairman, doesn't need keys to your house. Depending on your closeness to your sister-in-law, maybe your husband should take this one on.

Blessings...

Eh, I guess my first question would be...why don't you trust your sister-in-law?? I have trusted both family and friends with a key to my home. It is good to know that if you lock yourself out of the house, or you need someone to grab something for you, or if (god forbid) something happens to you someone is there to help. Unless your SIL is an untrustworthy person I don't see why you shouldn't. Get a key to her house too. =)
No offense but I find this post rather sad....

A.,

If you and your husband are uncomfortable about it, don't do it. Listen to your gut-- Just because it would make your sister in law happy, doesn't mean that you need to or should feel bad for not giving a set of keys. Why don't you offer your neice your cell phone number in case of emergency. That would be ok wouldn't it? Good luck---

Molly