So frustrating! I sent invitations to my son’s birthday party a few weeks ago. A few RSVPs trickled in within the first few days, but now they’re nonexistent. I know the parents have received the invite because I did them online. Yes, everyone’s busy, but I KNOW that phone rarely leaves your hands - it literally takes 10 seconds to hit accept or regret. I purposely invited via ECHOage so that the crumpled invitation in the backpack wouldn’t be a factor. I personally haven’t received a paper invitation in about 10 years. Why are people so discourteous nowadays?? RSVP so I know who to expect!!
Edited to add:
1) ECHOage is very similar to an Evite, except that if the guests choose, they can contribute money to a "group gift", rather than bringing a gift to the party. The best part is, a charity is also chosen by the birthday child, and half the money goes to that charity. At my son's school, ECHOage is BIG - that's practically the only way we receive invitations to parties these days.
2) I included an "RSVP by" date. It hasn't come yet (it will in a couple of days) but in my experience, if replies don't come in immediately, they don't come in at all.
Well, the party came and went last weekend! We invited 21 kids total. At the time of the "RSVP by" date, only 8 had responded! I then emailed each family individually ("Hi there, just checking to see if X got the invitation to Y's party. Please RSVP, as the venue needs a headcount ahead of time. Hope X can make it!"). That brought in another 7 "Yes" responses, and a few "No"s. I'm not sure if the invite went straight to spam, but a few mothers seemed surprised at the invitation, and apologized for not responding sooner. 2 people didn't even respond to my email, which to me is astoundingly rude, but oh well.
Anyway, the party was super fun, and we had a good turnout, which was important to my son. Next year, I'll use ECHOage again, but email the link personally, so I won't have to worry about it getting lost in the spam folder. Thanks to everyone for your advice!
I am about to RSVP to some today - good question.
I find people tend to hold out this time of year in case stuff comes up - busiest time of year.
If you sent them out a few weeks ago, can you send a reminder through ECHO? They will need one I think.
Welcome to mamapedia.
Why don't people respond? It's the "norm" now, unfortunately. They are "too busy". There's always an excuse. I'm sorry. Rude people suck.
Since the phone doesn't leave their hands? CALL THEM.
It's hard to get people to rsvp.
It seems they just don't want to do it anymore.
Our neighbor throws the annual block Christmas party and when she sends them out she requests that people tell her if they can't come - otherwise she'll assume they will be there.
It works well for this party - there is always a big turnout.
Did you give a deadline for them to RSVP. When I sent 10 invites for my son's birthday (7 paper and 3 evites), 3 of the parents responded within a few days. The remaining 6 yes responses came less than a week prior to the deadline. I know that people were waiting to make sure that there weren't any other things (sports, end-of-year school functions, etc.) before they responded. I was o.k. with that because I still had enough time to plan.
At this point, since there's no paper invite to remind them, they may have just forgotten about it. I'd send a quick follow-up to them. "Hi, I'm trying to finalize plans for John's birthday. Do you think Jack will be able to attend?"
It doesn't really matter if you send a real paper invite or use email or evite or anything else, some people NEVER respond.
Just invite your son's actual friends, and confirm by phone/text that they are or are not actually coming.
Keep it personal and you'll never need to deal with all this nonsense.
Yup, we get that question a lot here. It's annoying as hell when people don't respond. Part of the problem, in my mind, is that people tend toward these really large parties so guests figure you don't really care how many people come since you are prepared for a crowd anyway. We never did big parties at all, but a lot of people do. I think it's an expensive free-for-all that's overwhelming for kids, but not everyone agrees. I also think that the evites (while efficient) take away a level of personalization, so people feel the replies can be impersonal too. I understand about invitations at the bottom of the backpack, and every preschool and school I've worked at has asked parents not to give this job to teachers for a variety of reasons. So taking the extra time to find out the addresses is one way to make it more personal and hope for replies - but I know people get disappointed that way too. (I don't know anything about ECHOage vs. other sites - is there any possibility that they're getting mixed in with spam sites or sent to some people's junk folder?)
You have 2 choices, I think.
1) Follow up with a phone call. You may or may not get answers. Don't reprimand about how busy you are or how you have 25 goody bags to make.
2) Don't call, and be shocked when someone shows up. Look surprised. Stammer a bit. Then say, "Oh, my! Well, what a surprise. I had no idea you were coming... Did you send your reply to the wrong email address? Let's see...Well, let me see if I can squish another folding chair in. The kids are little so I'm sure your Billy will fit." They probably won't do it again. Or maybe they will. Some are clueless and will blame you. But you'll have made your point in a gracious way. However, that means you have to be prepared with extra food and supplies, and avoiding that was the point of the RSVPs to begin with.
Just once I'd love to turn someone away that didn't RSVP - "gee, I didn't hear back so I didn't think you were coming - maybe next time!" Ugh, I never would though . . . so tempting.
My middle daughter's wedding we invited 150 people to the reception, got 48 "yes" RSVPs, and had over 150 attendees! I was so pissed I wanted to walk up to people and just say "what the hell!" Luckily, we had booked the venue and food based mostly on our invites rather than our yes numbers.
I guess follow up (or poke, or nudge, or whatever works with this type of evite). You could also send out paper invites to them as a follow up, but that's alot of time to invest for folks who will still likely not answer (and then show up).
Good luck!
I would call and ask, I've done that before when we've had a nice event and I have to turn in my number of guests.
I simply called and said I am calling to see if ____ will be at the event because I am turning in my final number today.
Evite sends a reminder to people.
I always planned on more than my "number" because you always have stragglers show up.
Like a post before mine... if love to deny entrance to someone who did not rsvp or changed their mind when something better didn't Pam out for them.
It's so disrespectful.
I know personally if I don't respond immediately it slips my mind. Does ECHOage send a follow-up reminder like Evite to nudge those of us who have moved on and forgot that we need to respond?
I am embarrassed to admit, but I have no idea what Echo age is. Is that an app? If so, some people may not want to subscribe to an app just to RSVP. Some people's spam filters may have caught the email, so they are unaware that they got the email. Unfortunately, these days few people RSVP. They just don't care to, or do not know what their plans are until the very last minute. Maybe they have custody issues where they don't have a set custody schedule, or they have other kids who may or may not have an event, so they must wait until the last minute. I would get my guest list and divide it by 2. Usually, less than half the people you invite show up, but if you have enough food for half, you should have enough, with still a few items leftover, and better safe than sorry. This is why I don't throw birthday parties, we just celebrate with family, or invite a friend or 2 for a movie outing. It is too frustrating to assume people will RSVP and I just don't have that kind of money to throw around.
I have to admit I don't know what echo is, if it required me to download something to my phone I probably would not do it. I do always call, or preferably, text and RSVP. I usually just invite by text as well.
I would just call or text each person individually to ask them if their child will be coming or not.
Call them. Ask them to bring their child to the party. Swallow your pride, or the party will be a bust. So sorry. Parents can be such dolts where party invitations are concerned.
Did you give a deadline to rsvp? If so, a handful of people will always wait until just that time to rsvp. If not, or if the deadline is nearing or past, I would text each invitee to ask them to please let you know one way or the other if their child will be attending. If you're inviting children whose parents you don't know or know well, it's tough to gage how responsive they will be. Good luck!
it IS frustrating.
it's also how it is.
so you can be frustrated and mad at people, or you can be practical.
assume any time that you're throwing a party, and that the RSVPs matter (for some they don't), that you will have to call people to follow up.
if you have it in your head that it's on you, you'll save yourself a lot of teeth-gnashing.
khairete
S.
Most of those online invitations allow you to send reminders
Is it possible that people think they have to give money and therefore are not going?
I would remind everyone that it is totally optional, but they may be embarrassed if they aren't giving money so it's easier not to reply.
Obviously you have their emails, so just send a reminder. Say,
"I haven't heard from many of you, so please let me know either way so we can plan on how many people to expect"
Everyone would certainly understand that.
