Why RSVP to 6Th Bday Party Is So Difficult?

You got 15 people to RSVP? Wow. That is a great percentage of responses!

If the deadline is today, I would just wait for midnight to roll around, and then close the invite. If they haven't responded, they are out. If they happen to show up at the party, without RSVP'ing, they can participate at their own cost.

I had a birthday party for my son a few years back and needed a RSVP for it. I needed count and a few just did not get back to me until the day of. I said I am really sorry but it's to late. I had no choice. Mine was not by evite, I mailed an invitation. You snooze you lose!

Call or text them each individually. Let then know what you just said about the $39 dollars. If they say they dont know, text back saying you will put them as a 'no' unless you hear otherwise. If they really wanted to come, you would have heard back from them. People are so rude. My other fav thing is when they cancel the day of.

I would send one more follow up email to those that haven't replied stating simply " I know we are all very busy and sometimes we just forget to RSVP but I need to confirm the headcount and pay the deposit for the Spa today. I'll assume if I have not heard back from you by 3:00 pm today that your child will not be attending."

You are not alone in your annoyance, this is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

I don't know, I see posts on here all the time about other moms venting about the fact that nobody RSVPs anymore. So at least you are not alone in this.
It is annoying when people do not respond in a timely manner. I would call the last 5 people on your list today and get a definite answer. Even the best of us can get sidetracked and forget to RSVP...I tend to be fairly organized and good about those things but have forgotten once or twice and appreciated the call from the party host.
The lady who texted you sounds like a dimwit...sorry, but what is so hard about just saying "yes" or "no"? I mean, she texted you anyway! I would text her back and say " Please let me know yes or no by (time) so I can make the deposit. If I do not hear back I will assume child is not attending".

Just send a reminder again at the end of today saying "I will be putting in the deposit tomorrow so now is your last and final chance to rsvp. We hope you can make it!" Besides that don't take it personally. If they don't rsvp in time they can't come, so sorry!

I've been in your shoes. I HATE it when people have no regard for RSVP. It is so rude.... how hard is it to say yes or no???

For the record, I have also had parties where I was going to be charged $25+ pp and in those instances, even after a followup email... I called the parent and said the following:

Hi___, this is TF. I know you are busy right now but I have to lock in a # for ____ party today and I need to know if ____ plans to attend.

If I get an answering machine or a verbal maybe.... I reply with.. I have to commit to a certain number by 2pm. If I have not heard from you, I assume that you will not be able to attend. Thank you.

15 of 20 is not too bad but when you are paying pp it adds up when it you have to commit the # ahead of time. Rest assured, someone who did not RSVP will probably show up and someone who RSVP yes will probably be a no show.

I did a cheer event in August. I had 24 cheerleaders and 2 coaches. I asked for confirmation because I had to pay $25pp plus bay rental at Top Golf. Up until the day before, I had 15 yes's and that is where I locked. The day of, I had 6 more say yes. With it being a team event, I told them even though I locked in my # by the RSVP date, they could come and we would work something out. In the end, 4 of the ones who said yes to begin with did not show so it all evened out in the long run.

UGH... I love planning events but I hate the bad manners and way people just slough off RSVP's

Do not give destination information UNTIL you receive an RSVP.

15 out of 20 not bad. No RSVP exclude them. Don't mean to sound mean but that is the only way people get it.

Respond to her (and anyone else) that if she doesn't tell you that her child will attend by x date/time, her child cannot attend, as the spa requires you to have and pay for a headcount. I wouldn't tell her she can pay at the door because she'll RSVP and then not show.

Does the e-vite SAY that you must have a firm headcount by a certain date in order for a child to attend?

These days, parents should get that idea. Other parents have had parties or attended parties where the venue required a headcount. I would not hesitate to BOTH e-mail everyone directly (not just repeat the e-vite, some will not open it again figuring it's identitical) and update the e-vite saying something like: "Because Sally's party is at Place, we are required by Place to give them a final headcount no later than Date. We need to know if your child will attend so we can give Place this information, and we can't add guests after Date. Please let me know now if your child will be coming -- Thanks!"

Did you give an RSVP date that allowed you plenty of room? I hope you didn't give today as an RSVP deadline and tomorrow is the day when the venue requires the firm headcount. Always leave yourself wiggle room.

Also, did you invite eight kids (you say there's a special price for 8 girls) or did you invite more on the assumption that some would say no? If you did invite more assuming there would be "No"s -- when you really only intend this party to be for 8 -- that would be a dangerous thing to do and could cost you money. I would never invite more than I actually intended to host because if they all say yes, you can't go back and un-invite anyone just to get to the ideal number. (I'm not saying you did this, but I do know people who have and ended up paying for those extra guests beyond the venue's minimum limit!)

For the one mom who texted you -- I would PHONE her immediately and say, rather than you getting around to the e-vite, just tell me now on the phone if your child is coming because I need a firm head count.

It shouldn't be that difficult. I would send another e-mail to the ones who haven't responded telling them that if you don't have an RSVP by x time on x date, you will assume they are not coming and they won't be able to attend after that as you will not have paid for them.

Ugh. I chalk it up to people not being raised right.
Like you need to beg people to please allow you to treat their child to a party.
Seems no matter how easy you make it, people still put it off.
These are generally the same people that think thank you notes are "old fashioned"! Have you noticed? Lol

I would never do this much work for a party to be honest. For something this detailed I'd simply tell my daughter she could invite 8 friends. Then if one of them couldn't make it I'd let her invite one to replace them.

As fun as this sounds it is a lot of mess isn't it...?

Just send them a message that you will be paying the fees at XXam on 01-XX-2013 and if you have not received a positive response from them by that time the invitation is terminated. That will get their attention and let them know you are carved in stone as far as this goes.

If they haven't decided yet to let the kids do a spa day then they don't really want to come but can't find any valid reason to say no.

No RSVP then they is no room for their daughter......period!

Call each person and 1st make sure they got the e-vite. Next while they are on the phone tell them you need to know if they will be attending or not. Say you need to know now or you may need to cancel the party due to no replies. I know it is so frustrating!

It isn't and shouldn't be but it does seem to be these days.

I completely understand and feel the same way. Additionally, because my daughter's birthday is just 10 days after Thanksgiving and everyone is in the beginning of holiday mode (parties, shopping, etc.), I try to send our invitations out early too. For those that plan ahead or book up early, the early invitation is great. For those last minute people, a week is almost too much notice....I get that, I really do (although I don't understand why). But as the hostess, we have to give head counts or do shopping so we really need to know a good estimate on how many are coming!!!! It's frustrating.

15 of 20 by the deadline is actually shockingly good. The text may be that she can't get on to the site to actually reply (like when I am at work, I can see via email that I have a FB message but I can't get on FB until I get home). Maybe you could reply to her and say "Thanks, I just really have have a head count so I can call them 2 pm. If you can't get to it by then, will you at least text me if she'll attend or not so I can make that call?"

Two weeks ahead for a RSVP to a birthday party is often hard to get...I typically ask for it between 8-10 days out so I have a few days more and can still have almost a week to do the shopping in between the other events and working.

I'm hosting a bridal shower this weekend and I'm still waiting for 20+ people to RSVP. It's just RUDE! I would never not RSVP!

I would email the moms directly.

Welcome to one of the universal frustrations of hosting. I will never understand why it's so difficult for some guests to RSVP, or why some people say yes but don't show, or say no but DO show. It's incredibly thoughtless, but it is an unfortunate fact of social life. And don't even get me started on thank-you notes.

With evites, there's always a chance that your invitation went to someone's spam folder or didn't make it to them for some other reason...although if you can see that your guests are viewing the invitation, so much for that possibility.

I always recommend one phone call or email to follow up, right after your RSVP date passes, because even the best of us can forget things. After that, assume they are not coming.

I have friends who, when people who failed to RSVP show up at the party anyway, sweetly say, "Oh! I'm so sorry — we didn't know you were coming, so I'm afraid we don't have a spare admission ticket/meal/favor bag/piece of cake/whatever." Personally, I have never had that much nerve, and I don't like to make a child pay the price for his/her parents' rudeness. I just make extra favor bags, order more cake than I need and hope for the best. It's up to you to decide which route you are more comfortable taking.

Oh, and the person who texted you? After this, delete her from your guest list. Permanently.

15 out of 20 is pretty good in my experience. I would just call the remaining 5 and say you assume they aren't coming since they did not RSVP but want to be sure so the child won't be disappointed if they are left out.

It really is too bad for the kid since it's the parents fault. Sometimes there are particular circumstances where we can't commit until we firm up other plans but I always call and talk to the hostess directly. A little courtesy goes a long way.

Sounds like a fun party, I'm sure the girls who do come will have a blast!

I called the moms who didn't RSVP. It only takes a minute really. I know you shouldn't have to and you would be well within your rights to say "if you didn't RSVP by the date, you can't come". But I didn't want to put stress on my child's friendships over inconsiderate parents (it's not the child's fault the parent is inconsiderate), so I bit the bullet and called.

WE just had the B'day party of 7 year old -12th Jan. After the RSVP date I had to send the email to them as reminder (7 out of 35) follwed by call to 2; just a day before.

Makes it hard to plan but I did have final number a day before.

Try sending areminder again every week, Please forget that they have to respond. When they get invite thay have to confirm with calandar, spouse etc and then it gets lost in the swing of things. Or you can just email call the ones that are important to you and your kid.

People are so rude nowadays. Nobody seems to have any etiquette. I've hosted so many parties and a majority of people don't respond. The same thing happens to other parents.

I have called parents and left messages to find out if they are coming. Even after leaving a phone message, they still don't call back.

I understand how you are feeling. You put so much hard work into making your child's birthday special and people can't be bothered with RSVPing. It's sad, but don't get upset about it.