Men are simple. Sex and sandwiches. It you have grown apart, I bet that there is not much sex going on. That is how he shows and knows love, so while you can logically put it on the back burner until the kids get older, that will make your husband very unhappy and he feels unmoved, rejected, and crushed. To top it off, I bet he thinks that when you call to see when hill be home, it is only because you need him to do something, but it makes him mad because he does not get what he needs from you.
You can have a stand off with him, and insist that he be a grown up and get over it, but why in the world would.you want to do that? It is not such a big deal to spend ten minutes every other day to make the love of you life happy, and you will find that he is suddenly respectful, attentive, and knows that you want to know when hill become because you love him, not because you want him to do something for you.
I have been where you are. My wake up call was not my husband saying f you, but saying thatcher had to be sent to war for me to pay any attention to him. I read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura. I don't like everythingshe says, but she is right about men and we can stomp our feet and say that they should be different (more like us) but that won't help you.
You will be surprised at his reaction when he just sees you reading it.
I have everything I could ever want in my husband now.
M.