Sad About Ending Breastfeeding.

Updated on February 13, 2008
K.H. asks from Littleton, CO
38 answers

Hi -

I had to abruptly stop breastfeeding my 6 1/2 month old due to issues with food allergies, reflux and overall fussiness. I was not ready to make this transition and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. It was only 5 days ago that I stopped, but I just can't accept that this precious time between me and my baby is gone. He may be my last little guy and the idea that this is all over deeply saddens me. Anyone else go thru this?

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S.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

With my last child, I had a hard time giving up breast feeding, too. It is such a wonderful bonding time and it is really hard to loose that! I think it's harder to stop when you know it's the last child, too. Try to always hold him when you feed him now. Don't prop up the bottle. And treat feeding time the same as you did before and enjoy every minute of it!

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M.T.

answers from Missoula on

Hi,
My friend had to cut dairy out of her diet completely while breastfeeding both babies. If she at just a bit of dairy, the next breastfeeding, her children would vomit.
I thought it woudl be worth trying.
You might also work with a doctor recommended by the staff at WIC since that org really tries to support breastfeeding as part of their mandate.
Good luck!

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N.Y.

answers from Provo on

I am going through the same thing only this is my first and he is only 3 months old. I still try but I think it is causing more pain then helping. He has reflux too so now I just bottle feed him and the way to make it better for me is that I feed him instead of letting other people that way it is like I am still feeding him and I do still get that time with him. Sorry it really sucks!!!

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T.K.

answers from Denver on

What you are feeling is normal - allow yourself the grief, sadness and other feelings you are having at this moment, but know in your heart that the decision was made for good reason. There are so many ways to feel connection with your child and how wonderful that you were able to nurse for this long. Just hold your precious boy in your arms, have eye contact, sing to him, feel the heart to heart connection you've always felt with him. Although it is a transition for both of you, life is full of opportunities to feel love and connection - take them, create them, appreciate them. And don't beat yourself up about this...you sound like a loving and caring mom who is making a decision that is best for you and your baby.

T.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Missoula on

I was told the same thing with my first son and decided to change my diet rather than stop. He was about 6 mo. old also. We figured out that it was dairy products and I cut them all out. I am a huge, huge dairy fan and it was incredibly hard for me but it made an immediate difference in 24 hours for our son. I wish you all the best. I wonder if you have thought about that for yourself? Maybe it's not an option for you... When I did supplement the Carnation Good start was about the only thing he could handle.

Rainbows and mudpuddles,

M.

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S.W.

answers from Colorado Springs on

K., I can so relate to what you are feeling right now. When my son was 3 months old I had a devistating car accident and broke my back in three places. Because of the medication I was recieving and an 11 day hospital stay, I had to quit breastfeeding him at 5 months old. I was in pain in more ways than one. (By the way, whole cabbage leafs placed under the bra, against the skin, and changed every 2 hours gave me huge relief, and dried the milk!) Remember that you are going to grieve this seperation, but that it will pass and your child will still be bonded to you. I fed him in the breast feeding position with a bottle and also made certian that there was lots of skin on skin contact between us. Doctors recommended this. His health is great and he has a very intact immune system. I also added colostrum to his bottle. It is an ingredient in breast milk. You can get it from the Herb shop I work in, or just call me and I can help you get it wholesale online. Hope this helps, and know that my heart goes out to you. Keep in touch. S. ###-###-####
See my business listings on mamasource. Sequoia Woman Health & Healing

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S.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It has been 10 yrs. since I have had a baby to care for, my children are 17, 15, 13,& 11, but I do remember how difficult it was to give up breastfeeding each time. It was heart-breaking and I felt like a failure each time, although one child I actually nursed for over a year.

The only advice I can give you is that if you feed your baby formula that you take the time to still sit and hold your baby as opposed to propping the baby up with the bottle. Also, enjoy that feeding time as special "bonding" time and avoid watching tv, reading or talking on the phone and just savor every minute of it--it goes by so fast!! I can honestly say that I treasured every moment just a little bit more with my last child, I still find myself holding on to every day of my youngest's childhood-- the days seem to pass by even faster now.

I find it has helped me to keep a journal for each child and to take moments throughout the year to express the love you have for them and recall the special memories you have of them through each stage of their lives. You will not believe how much you will forget in such a short period of time. Record a list of their cute pronunciations of their first words. I still fondly recall the words of my oldest son, like "brecksift" for breakfast, "head-egg" for headache, and "Ca-Nom" for Come on. :)

There are so many wonderful things ahead for you to yet experience.

Now, feel free to eat something that you have had to go without because of your baby's food allergies--for me, I had to be careful with chocolate. So, the first thing I would do is grab a handful of M&M's. It works for me. :)
Happy mothering!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

I don't know if it's too late, but have you considered treating the reflux more agressively so you could continue nursing. What worked for our son was Prevacid in the morning and Zantac at night. It's a pretty unconventional treatment, but it did the trick. It's all prescription since it's baby doses.

I understand how sad it is to have to stop before you're ready. I had to do that with our second since he had swallowing problems and we couldn't get insurance to buy us a pump. It is sad and hard. Does giving him a bottle and snuggling help at all? (Or maybe the question is, will he snuggle?) I can tell you, as time wears on, it does get easier, but the only thing that filled that baby void for me was another one. Now that we have a third on the way, I don't have that desire for another one (ever again) any more. Maybe something to think about. GL I hope your son gets better and you feel better soon.

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S.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

K.,

Perhaps your breastfeeding days are not over. You sound like you deserve a great talk with a lactation consultant that can get you knowing your body and dealing with the food allergies and reflux issues. As you are aware, breast is best.
Contact this amazing lactation consultant and see what she may advis/recommend for you.
Julie Fixdad
###-###-####
www.abclactation.net

Let her know I referred you.

Enjoy your journey of motherhood, and if it is in fact unbearable to continue breastfeeding simply love yourself and your baby by enjoying baby massage, talking, singing, and holding your baby regularly close to your heart so your baby & you continue feeling that sweet closeness.

My best to you!

Smiles, Love & Light,
S.

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B.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Just like you I am 35 with a 2 year old son and a baby boy, I also don't plan on having any more.

I can totaly understand what you are going through. My son will be 6 months this week and I just recently had to stop breastfeeding him. For some unexplained reason my milk just stopped coming in. I was not ready to give up that special bonding time with him. It has been about three weeks for us. One thing that made it bareable for me was my son seemed to transition easily (it was more traumatic for me). Has your son adapted to the new feeding ritual?
As for you being sad about the situation, I think this is a perfectly normal human response. I have mixed emotions everytime my baby either does something new or outgrows something old. I love watching him grow and learn but it is bittersweet because I know it will be the last time I get to experience this with one of my children. I know this probably won't make it easier for you to go through, but know that you are not alone and most moms go through the same thing.

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M.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

hi--I totally understand how you are feeling. While my son was a very good nurser, he just abruptly stopped at 8 months. I tried everything to get him back on and it didn't help that everyone told me "babies don't self-wean before 1 year." I followed many people's advice and ideas and nothing worked. I cried myself out of tears and to make things worse, he was not used to the bottle, so he barely drank anything for 2 weeks. After a while, I just had to accept that as little as he was, he had made the decision not to nurse anymore. I tried to focus on the fact that I had done a wonderful deed for 8 months and in that time, he had gotten all of what his little body needed to be a healthy boy. If you look at the statistics, you will see that with each month you nurse, your baby gets different benefits (lower risk, obesity, lower risk of diabetes, etc. ) The fact that you nursed as long as you did is great and will serve your baby well. As far as the "bonding" time, I just replaced the nursing time with dancing and singing. Now he snuggles up in my arms while I sing and sometimes he'll even put his hand down my shirt and just rest it on my chest. I promise you that our connection is just as strong now, maybe even moreso now that we're not struggling over the nursing.

As the others have said, just to be safe, I would get a second opinion. My thought was that it was formula, not breastmilk that exacerbated most reflux/allergies.

Hang in there!

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D.P.

answers from Provo on

Wow, I could have written the exact same thing. About a week ago I had to stop nursing my 6 month old abruptly because of food allergies as well. I think it is affecting both myself and my son. The first few nights he would cry through the bottle feeding, but after a few days of extra cuddling and holding, he adjusted just fine.
The way I am getting through it is just realizing that it really is better for my son to go to a hypoallergic formula. He is much happier overall and I find special time for just him and me (without my two year old) and cuddle him longer, and hold him tight.
Just know that nursing, while really important, is not the only thing you have to offer your child. Also, know there are other mothers out there going through the same thing! :)

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

My kiddo had terrible colic and reactions to foods I ate as well. I took him to a mid-wife who does muscle testing and she was able to tell me precisely what to cut out of my diet. The result was immediate and at 22 months we are still nursing happily. You can find some Chiropractics, Osteopaths, Cranial Sacral therapists and Natropaths who do muscle testing - also called Applied KinesiologyI think. It is not too late to continue nursing if you wish, and without any medications for your little one. Best to you.

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C.C.

answers from Boise on

K.,

I feel for you...my baby had Acid Reflux Esophgitus and they tried to tell me it was my breast milk. But it wasn't my breast milk. I wanted to nurse just like you and so told my doctor I wanted a second opinon. So he sent me to Salt Lake City to the Primary Children's Hospital. There was a whole ward of babies with this Acid Reflux. These babies were on a special board that was made at a 90 degree angle slanted with a velcro strap to hold the baby on the board. Laying the baby on it after they were nursed and they didn't get sick. And so I had a board made special for me and it worked. I had to strap my baby on the board at bedtime also and she sleep very well through the night. I just had to keep close watch over her. I used that board until my baby was able to sit up on her own about 6 mos. old. But it was worth it she never got sick again. So my next question is did you go to an alergy doctor and he actually told you the baby was alergic to your milk? Because at your babies age he could be wrong unless he did some extensive testing, your baby is so young for them to determine that, because a baby can be alergic to logs of things but usually not breast milk. And I was told that most babies are not alergic to mothers milk. They told me my breast milk was the best thing for my baby. And if your not 100% sure then by nursing your baby every two hours you might be able to bring your milk back.

Just thought I would tell my story and maybe it might help. Because there is nothing more rewarding than breast feeding your baby. And the bond you have between you and your baby is so special. Knowing they need you and need them.
Well, hon I wish you the best. And if in fact if you really can't nurse your baby then just hold your baby close and when you feed him or her and rock them until they fall asleep. And you will still have a bond. Good luck...

C. C

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J.S.

answers from Provo on

This may sound odd, but it is perfectly normal to morn this loss. If he will snuggle while eating his bottle, this will help. I know it is not the same, but after a while you will notice a difference in your self. In the mean time keep reminding your self that you are doing what must be done for the sake of the child, this isn't about you, it is about son.

For back ground, my own little guy(number 4) was not allowed to nurse for two days and then was allowed only a bottle to help save his strength. It took me 6-7 weeks to finally get him to latch on, after consulting with Le Lache, and lactation specialist. Neither was helpful. After 3 days of nursing, I realized he was not sucking hard enough to get anything. He went back to the bottle. I literally morned this loss for about two weeks. I knew he was my last and would never have this experience again. I was a wreck! But I kept saying to myself, am I doing this for me or for him? Finally, I decided that this wasn't about what I wanted or needed, this was about my baby and he had to grow and thrive and the only way was to put a bottle in his mouth. He is 11 mo. old now and I cuddle him while he eats. I am the only one that feeds him, so when it is time to eat, he only wants his momma. I have learned to accept and find joy in the times to sit and cuttle. I looked for positive things, like no biting while nursing, that I didn't have to endure. Though my situation is different, as he must have breast milk. So I end up pumping on top of feeding him. So I have created myself a little "pumping station" with lots of water, snacks, and my lap top! (That is what I'm doing right now!)

GL and hope this helps and hang in there!

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J.F.

answers from Billings on

I understand all about weaning before you are ready, especially with your second child. I stopped making milk when my son was about 5 months old, even though I was always nursing and pumping and I was devastated, even more than I ever told anybody. I had problems with my gall bladder after I had our second child and had to have it removed. The entire time I was nursing, I wasn't making milk the way that I should have and I had exhausted ALL possibilities. My first suggestion to you is to make sure that you've exhausted all possibilities and discussed all options with your doctor, and even try reaching out to La Leche League. They are fantastic. If none of this works and you are indeed finished nursing, then there are still ways to bond with your baby. Being the primary feeder, even though you are using a bottle is one way, and another fantastic way of bonding is through baby massage. It is one on one, skin-to-skin contact and it is incredibly relaxing for both mom and baby. Nothing is exactly the same as nursing, but there are still ways to have special mommmy/baby time. As long as you make sure to focus on those times, then when he gets bigger, you won't feel as though you lacked in bonding. Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

I think it is very normal to feel that loss in a sense. Remember hormones are a factor now too. I would say there is still a HUGE bond even feeding your baby a bottle and you just need to rethink your special time with your baby now. Why is the time not precious holding him and giving him a bottle??? I was not able to nurse long with my daughter for a lot of the same reasons however, the time I had just holding her, feeding her with a bottle and rocking her was just as special as the nursing. Your hormones will shift too as your milk dries up, so that can play into your emotions too.

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C.L.

answers from Provo on

My first child was lactose intolerant. After treating for reflux and weak stomach sphincter etc. and still having projectile vomiting and a dropping weight curve we switched to soy formula. Like magic. I weaned her and me by shortening breast feedings and finishing with bottle. (this also helped slow down my milk supply) She was six months old when we switched. Feel good, six months is a long time. Sorry you didn't have the opportunity to wean like I did. Like other people are saying you still have other special moments to be had with your child. It's hard when you have an expectation to breast feed and it doesn't work out. My daughter is now 3.5 and we have a relationship no worse for wear from bottle feeding. I do remember feeling very rejected though, it was rough but when I saw how much better she was feeling I was glad it worked out the way it did.
Best of luck!

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B.O.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi K.,
When you say food allergies, do you mean your son is allergic to allergens in your milk from things you are eating? Has he been tested for allergies? Is he on solids? If so, what are they? Is it your doctor who is telling you to stop breastfeeding? (Sometimes doctors think the answer to any difficulties is to stop breastfeeding which you already know is the most nutritious way to feed your baby.) You sound like you are enjoying breastfeeding, and it would make me very sad for you to see you give it up. Have you talked to anyone from the LaLeche League? They are very supportive in coming up with suggestions to overcome all sorts of challenges, especially something like this. Perhaps it would be something as simple as you stopping drinking milk, or eating allergy prone foods. I hope you get some good information before you give up this most wonderful bonding time with you son. Best of luck! (p.s. You can start up again if you put him back on the breast several times a day to build up your milk supply.)
B.
I'm a SAHM with four grown children, one teenager, and one 11 yr old. I breastfed all of them through all sorts of different challenges from reflux to tongue-tied to low muscle tone.

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L.E.

answers from Pocatello on

I know what you are feeling like. With my second child I couldn't nurse because she was and still is intolerant to all animal milk ( that included me). I cried for about three weeks, but never when she was with me. I felt like a complete failure as a mother the second time around. And then I realized how lucky I was. I asked myself what would happen to my child if other options like formula weren't around. My baby wouldn't survive. I took this thought with me every time I fed her a bottle for a while and soon I was able to appreciate the bottle instead of loathe it. It is hard, but you will work through it. Like other mothers have said, allow yourself the time to grieve this loss, but know that you can still bond with your baby boy while feeding him a bottle. He may not be getting his nourishment from your milk, but he is still getting his nourishment from you and he knows this. Mom stilll is the best and most comforting person to him and this won't change because your breast is gone.

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B.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

i am sorry you have to end this early. mine just weened him self off at 7months. left me high and dry! i know how you feel. my son is now 5yrs old, but i still miss the time with him. Just make sure that you get to feed him the bottle, rock him to sleep at night, those were the two big things for me, its a depressing time, it was for me. Just remember you gave him the BEST START possible!!! you did the best thing for him! You are a great mom and there are going to be more times , especially when they get in their 'love modes' and hug for hours!

ps. my son was tongue tied, you might want to check that out as well. he got that fixed at 2months and ate great till 7months. he was just too interested in everything else.

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A.T.

answers from Provo on

K., I can empathize. I had to wean both my babies around 6 months because my milk gave out. It's really hard to do, huh? There's such a strong biological force telling us to breast feed. And it's such a sweet, calm, moment between mother and child. It's a hard thing to give up! But here are three things to give you hope: 1) It gets easier. Especially with my second, I felt sad for weeks, maybe even a month or so. But it does fade. Just give it time. 2) There is the sudden freedom to look forward to. Even though breast feeding is wonderful, so is being able to hand a bottle to anyone to feed your baby, being able to go out w/o pumping, not being tied to a private place to nurse every 3 hours, having your body back to yourself, not leaking, having your breasts be for your husband again, etc. There really are a lot of up sides to weaning! 3)Giving your baby a bottle and holding him in your arms while he drinks it and stares lovingly into your eyes is almost as sweet. And in some ways, it's better because you can sit and enjoy it and not stress about how much milk he's getting, if he's latched right, etc.

Good luck to you. I know this is hard, but you can do it!

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L.H.

answers from Denver on

can you pump? why dont you do something with your grief that is fabulous and bless another Mom with some of your most important breast milk...to her child that needs the milk due to medical reasons....
Im a mom of a 20 and 25 year old boys..men now...in the gambit of their whole life they will not be harmed by not breastfeeding especially if you got as far as 6 mths.. good job Mom!...I am currently a full time nanny with an 11 mth old cant get enough of my baby fix I guess..so I am still in the role of a caregiver of babies..been there done that.. but I know you miss that cool interaction that you have breastfeeding your wonderful child.. it is something to miss.. Hope I helped.. L...

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

While I didn't go through a big sadness when my daughter weaned, (because I was ready) I was terribly devastated when my first born was unable to nurse. I spent weeks being upset wondering what was wrong with me. Now I realize I just wasted a lot of time worrying about it instead of just enjoying the feeding time with him, even though it was with a bottle instead.

It's okay to feel sad, but try to not let it interfere with your relationship with your son. You were able to breastfeed him for 6 1/2 months, that's more than some mother's get. You are doing what you feel is right for him in the long run and that you'll never regret or be sad about.

Best wishes.

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T.R.

answers from Denver on

K.,
Do you still have milk? Start pumping if you do!!! My son had the EXACT same thing, and rather than stop breastfeeding, I chose another option. It is REALLY hard, but it meant enough to me to do it. You can go on a diet that contains NO gluten/allergens/anything... it is Chicken, rice, asparagus, and peaches. Those are the only 4 things that NO ONE is allergic to (according to my pediatrician, obgyn, family doc, and even a pediatric gastroenterologist (sp) that my son had to see!). It is honestly, really friggin hard. But, if you go to Wild Oats or Whole foods, there are A LOT of things made out of just rice. Not very tasty things, but at least it allows for a bit of variety?! Like, rice cereal, rice crackers, rice cakes, rice pasta (thought that is DISGUSTING!!). I LOVED breastfeeding, it gave us such an amazing bond, it was so worth it to me. I said start pumping because you don't wanna dry up, and also because it takes 3 days for everything you are eating right now to leave your system, so you would have to start the diet and then pump and throw it away for a few day. If you decide to go this route, and you need some support when you just wanna eat, or have any questions, lemme know, I'd be more than happy to help!! On the plus side if this- I lost weight FAST> (I don't know if you need to, but if so, it kills 2 birds with one stone!!)
T.

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi. I am having to do the same thing. My daughter has had bad reactions to my breastmilk since she was born, and does so much better on the soymilk formula. I too am really sad about having to stop breastfeeding, but i know in the end it will be better for my daughter and she will be happier and healthier. Just try to think in terms of your child's happiness and how much better off he will be. It is really hard but in the end will be much more worth it. By the way, I have only stopped breastfeeding for 2 days, and my breasts are very sore. Any advice on how to dry up your breastmilk easier?
Good luck!
S.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I had the same problem with both of my kids. My oldest got thrush in his mouth after the first week. We had just established a good breastfeeding routine and then he didn't want to nurse at all. He wouldn't even use a bottle. His poor mouth hurt and while I was waiting for him to continue, I dried up. My second son was born with a blood infection and couldn't eat for almost five days. When he did eat, he really latched on. But unfortunately, he was used to a bottle by the time I could actually feed him. This was seven days after his birth and once again I just didn't produce enough milk to feed him.

That being said. I must say this. I still felt really close to my oldest. We bonded really good. It felt really good to hold him while he ate. I liked that my husband got to feed him during the day. With my youngest, I did everything possible to make up for the fact that I couldn't hold him close those first days. He doesn't suffer from Attachment Disorder at all. He's not very snuggly but he's almost nine. While he was in the hospital, I was able to talk and touch him and after the fifth day I could hold him for short periods of time.

I know you will miss all the special sensations that go with nursing but you can still bond in a healthy way. Your child got the most benefit from your milk by now. Good Luck!!!!

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A.O.

answers from Denver on

I understand exactly how you feel. I had to stop feeding my baby when he was 4 months because I never generated enough milk. I felt very sad and cried a lot; but even if that is gone, the bond with your baby still remains. Think of it this way: you are giving your partner the opportunity to feel such a special bond! Don't be sad, let it go and enjoy your little one. They grow so fast! There's a saying that applies to this case: "Don't cry because the Sun went down because your tears won't let you see the stars".
Take care!

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K.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You need to decide. If you are really going to wean, then it will be hard. But have you gotten a second opinion? Have you exhausted your resources before coming up with the weaning option? Have you consulted a lactation consultant or the Le Leche League? Or a Pediatric GI specialist for the reflux or a Pediatric allergist for the allergies? (if you have, please forgive me) Make sure you have made your decision fully and that you can live with it because you have made it well. Then, accepting the consequences, even if they are sad, will be easier to do. I always had a pit of sadness in my stomach when I weaned my babies. It is emotionally hard, especially, when you are doing it earlier than planned. Try to find other bonding activities, holding, maybe co-sleeping for naps, etc. Follow your motherly instinct above all, don't let too much medical or friendly advice muddle your thoughts, and follow your instincts. Trust yourself, this will be the best answer in the end. YOU CAN DO IT and BABY CAN HANDLE IT!!

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J.O.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi-
When my little boy was 6 weeks we found out he had acid reflux and a milk protein allergy. The doctor decieded it would be best if he went on nutramigen. I tried to do a all non-dairy diet but I would eat milk and not even realize it. I decieded to stop breastfeeding. It was hard. Breastfeeding is so good for your baby and I wanted that closness. I kept pumping hoping he would grow out of it. He is now 11 months and I never did breastfeed again. It just wasn't worth a sick baby. I really wanted my son to want me and to have a reason to have 'special alone' time. So I decieded that even though I wasn't breastfeeding, I made it our time. I would hold him close to me and I would usually find a quite place while I was giving him a bottle. He still loves to sit in my lap when he eats. So even though it was a bottle and I wasn't breastfeeding him... meal time was still a special time when I would cradle him in my arms. Looking back now, I'm so happy that we gave him the formula because he is so much happier and healthier.

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S.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have twins and I bottle feed one and Breast feed the other, my son would not breastfeed. I was really worried that I would bond with my daughter who is breastfed more than my son, but that is not the case. I love feeding him, plus my husband gets to help, which he loves. These babies are number 4 and 5 for me and probably our last, so my husband Loves being able to feed him (I have breastfed all the others exclusively until they are one). You are still feeding your baby, so enjoy that time you have together. My daughter that I breastfeed has reflux also and so sometimes doesn't eat very good, it's easy to get frustrated with her,and I worry if she is getting enough even though she is gaining weight. I don't get those feelings with my son. I know it is hard, because I went through that with my son, but really it is not so bad, think of the freedom you now have. :0)

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J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Yes, I went through an awful stage when I weaned my little boy. I don't think it matters when you wean, the sadness is real, and you have to experience it before letting go. My sister said to me at that time, "you're not letting him go, you're letting him grow" and that helped a lot. Also, you are looking after the best health of your child, which should be comforting. If this is your last (and I only have one, so just that one experience to hold on to!), then you would have been sad regardless of when. Just try to enjoy every moment and not dwell on what might have been. Best of luck, and be sure to have a hot bath and a good cry, then you will feel better :-)

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L.N.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi,

I went through a similar thing with my youngest daughter, also my last. She weened herself when she was about 5 months old. I would try to nurse her but she just didn't want anything to do with me. I felt a little rejected. But I made it a point to spend that quality time with her while she was using a bottle and I am happy to say that she and I have a special relationship right now. She is 2 1/2 now, and she and I have a special bond that I wouldn't trade. It is hard at first, but with time it does get easier.

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K.R.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.,

My son spit my nipple out at 11 months, signaling he was done nursing, and basically looked back only once or twice in the weeks after--a shock to me since I had to wean my daugher at 2.5! I was very sad, and not ready, but I figured I needed to follow his lead.

Besides the fullness and all, I missed that quiet time, the eye contact, etc. I just made sure we snuggled together several times a day. With a book or a little toy or just snuggling. That helped me a lot.

I think if you get the emotional value of breastfeeding--that deep connection--you are going to miss it when it's over. That's part of the process. Honor it and let yourself feel sad. You won't always feel the way you do today--it's a process.

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N.H.

answers from Missoula on

i hear you K. i had to stop nursing my little one at 4.5 mos because of issues with my milk supply i tried everything to keep it going but no luck. when it was over i sobbed and sobbed for several days. i still feel a little sting of jealousy whe i see other moms nursing . like you, this is probably my last baby. i am trying to focus on the great time that we had while i was nursing and making sure our new arrangement is as loving as i can make it. i am heart broken too but am trying to focus on all the other experiences we do and will have together. it has been about a month now and i am feeling better about it.. i hope you get to feeling better too! :)

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H.W.

answers from Denver on

Hi K.,

One question: Is your son acting better on formula?

If not, why not continue breastfeeding, but try a food elimination diet if you don't want to quit breastfeeding?

My son had reflux (until around 10 months) and still has food allergies (15 months now). We did the allergy elimination diet (really hard, but easier with supportive husband, friends, and family) around 4 months and began reintroducing foods around 6 months after everything was out of his system. I never tried formula, as the blood in his poop disappeared after food elimination. By the time we reintroduced foods to my diet, he didn't react to anything from my breastmilk anymore, so I am able to eat what I want again. The gastrointestinal doc said that their little stomachs aren't fully developed until 6-8 months, but once that happens, the proteins they are sensitive to can't get out into their bloodstream anymore. We found a really good naturopath to help us find herbs and supplements (probiotics, magnesium) strengthen young one's digestive tract, too.

I personally found the support and information from my local La Leche League group to be very helpful. Please contact them if you wish to continue breastfeeding. They can help you with supply issues if you are facing that, now, and can give you assistance with food allergy issues.

On the food elimination front: there is Rice Dream ice cream (pretty good) and brown rice bread, and you CAN have chocolate if you read labels carefully and stick to dark chocolate found in health stores.

Please email me if you wish to talk further. My son is now fully allergic to eggs and dairy (we carry an epi pen and benedryl in the diaper bag), and he refused to start solid food until around 10 months (a common thing for food allergic kiddos).

Good luck and best wishes to you.

H.

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K.O.

answers from Denver on

Breastmilk is the most easily digested thing you could give your baby. Food allergies and digestive issues are actually best managed with human milk...perfectly tailored antibodies, YOUR digestive enzymes that your baby is not making yet on his own, and easily digestable proteins are all contained in your milk and are perfect for a sensitive digestive system. I think you should talk to a nutritionist, change your diet, consult a homeopath, naturopath, give you and your baby supplements to assist in digestion, ...whatever it takes and resume nursing your baby!! When you think of man made powdered formula, based in cows milk or soy, this is harder for a human body to know what to do with. Breastmilk will always be the perfect thing and im sure your body can continue making milk after only 5 days. if you can't accept that you're done nursing, ...DON'T! Best of luck.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have 22m who has severe reflux. she was diagnosed at 2w. She also cant handle milk so she is currently on soy and doing ok. One of her doc. wanted me to stop breastfeeding so that we could thincken everything she ate. However her other doc. told me that it was still best for her to continue to nurse becasue it was so much better for her. So i just cut out the foods that upset her, kept her upright as much as possible and fought the reflux aggressivly. I was able to continue to nurse her until we were both ready to stop. she still is on meds and soy but she is doing great. unless it was life or death-i would continue nursing your little one. But if you cant then just use bottle feedings just the same as you did nursing for bonding time. Make it as special as you can.

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