Last night, we had my ex-SIL and her new husband for dinner. I was trying to get a few things done, so she my SIL asked if she could hold the baby. I gave baby to her, and then, about 5 minutes later, heard my baby screaming (they were outside). It took me a good 10 minutes to calm my baby down.
Later, my SIL asked to hold her again. Within 3 minutes my baby was screaming again!
Here is the thing: my baby never cries! She will do kitten cries for various things, but I've never heard her really cry, with a full on scream, etc. She's easy going, and a real sweet little thing. I do know that she just had a major developmental leap, so she is a changing girl, but I don't remember my other two behaving like this till they were much older.
Ideas? This really scared me.
Btw, I have no reluctance to let anyone hold my baby. I did with my first, but by now I'm thankful for another set of hands.
I just didn't think babies did separation anxiety till much later.
My daughter did that -- I remember her doing that when her grandparents held her at 4 months old. Daddy and I were the only ones who could hold her. Separation anxiety.
Your baby is very intelligent-she is going through early stranger recognition! Common among bright children.
I found my kids only cried when they sensed my reluctance to hand them to someone.
Before children of my own I elicited this response in EVERY baby I ever held. On one hand it was funny because everyone teased me about it. On the other hand it was depressing because I really wanted to hold the babies and felt like an incompetent ninny. Looking back on it I think I was lacking sufficient confidence (nervous about “breaking” the baby so to speak). The babies were sensing my jitters in how I held them and responded in kind. Or perhaps your daughter simply recognized your ex-SIL wasn’t you or your husband (via smell, the way she was being held, etc.). I think babies can be more perceptive than we realize even at a very young age.
My first two children did that whenever someone they didn't know well held them, even that young. She is probably very aware that mommy wasn't right there with her. You are her everything and feels insecure without you.
Babies cry randomly and sometimes for no reason at all. Don't let it scare you, esp if you know she is fine.
She probably just sensed a different person holding her, or maybe your SIL was nervous. Babies can pick up on that.
If your ex-SIL was holding the baby in a different position or was feeling a little stressed the baby probably picked right up on it and cried. Every time I hold a little baby he/she falls asleep. We always joke that I'm boring but it's probably because I'm very lay back and relaxed. Babies pick right up on the feeling surrounding them.
My son started getting separation anxiety around three months. Glad to hear that it's a sign of intelligence. :) I guess we have some smart kids.
What concerns me is not the crying scenario you describe here, but the fact that you say it "really scared you." It's normal, and I hope you take care not to over-think it or let it turn into some huge problem in your mind.
A baby who "never cries" at only three months old IS going to cry sometimes, and you just haven't gotten there yet - or perhaps you finally did, just when your SIL held her. Normal for an infant to realize that "this is not my mom/dad" by the person's smell, sound, feel, everything. If others have held your baby without any crying on her part, that probably means they smelled or felt more like you; or she was more rested at that time; or she was less hungry at that time. Your SIL might have held her briefly in some way that made her feel insecure, or might have had on perfume that suddenly irritated her, or might have somehow startled the baby, or the baby might have been more tired or more hungry or more gassy at that moment than you realized. All normal!
Don't compare her to your other children and please don't let this one simple incident convince you that anything is wrong.
There are many stories in many families about a baby who would "let everyone hold her/him except auntie Flo" or whatever.
My middle son didn't let ANYONE other than my husband or I hold him for such a long time. Even now (nearly 4 yrs old) he still is very slow to warm up to others, even my sister. My other babies would let anyone hold them.
