Screaming When Getting Hair Combed

My daughter is no fan of having her hair brushed either! Try using a leave in conditioner and brushing slowly from the bottom up, instead of brushing down a big lump of tangles!

I have the same problem with my 8 yr old. She gets most her hair by herself but sometimes has the knot in the back. I finally bought her detangler she picked the scent and loves it now she offers to comb her hair in the afternoon and never comes down in the morning with it not done. It is very cheap and well worth it.

Sauve makes a WONDERFUL detangler spray that you spray on the hair (dry or wet hair, but it works wonders on dry hair). I have used EVERYTHING on the market, and nothing works like Sauve (it is in a green spray bottle and is green-apple scented). Spray on dry hair and let set (wait) for about 3-5 minutes, then spray again and brush through (if you don't have time to let set, you can brush right away, but it seems to work best if you let it set). Few suggestions: don't comb - it is painful, use a bristle brush and start at the bottom of the hair and move upward. If you encounter a knot/tangle, hold or pinch the hair just above the isolated tangle/knot and use the brush starting at the bottom of the hair and moving up in little amounts to the knot and it will just un-tangle. If the hair is long (like my daughter's - expect 10 minutes to do the hair): start by holding the in a pony-tail fashion about 4-6 inches above where you are brushing (hold the hair tight in this area with one hand and brush the hair below this hand with the other....it will keep the hair from being pulled). Then when all the tanlges are out, move the pony-tail hand up about 4 inches and brush the lower hair again. Then when you can't go up anymore, brush from the top of the head/hair down, then section the hair starting at one side of the face, taking small sections (no more than 2 inches wide) and do the same thing (hold in pond-tail style so you are not pulling the hair by the roots when trying to get the tangles out) - put that section aside and take another 2-inch section, working all the way around the back to the other side of the face.

Some children have extreme tactile sensitivity on their heads and your daughter may REALLY be in pain. Google "sensory integration dysfunction" with "hair combing" or something similar and see what ideas parents of kids w/ SID have to offer.

When I was young I had very long hair as well as my older sister. She gave me the idea to start at the bottom of my hair and work upwards a little at a time instead of trying to brush from the top right away. I did that from then on and didn't have anymore problems. Also for the really tough snarles put your other hand on the back of her head so the brush doesn't pull the hair from the scalp. Hope this helps. Take care.

Try using a detangler and a soft bristled brush. My daughter has extremely curly, frizzy, thick hair. she also cried a lot but the detangler helped. Also, be sure you're using conditioner when washing. :)

I remember doing the same thing to my mom, I had super long hair. She ended up using a wide tooth comb, and tons of detangler, the spray kind. Its easier to brush out knots when its wet, rather than dry. If when its dry is the problem try using diffrent kinds of brushes and maybe let her try.
Good luck!!

my daughter does the same thing. Some have told me to tell her if she stands nice and doesn't yell you will give her a treat for being good. But I jus brush it. My husband does a better job than me. She yells for me and not my hubbie. Probably because hes not home with her all the time. The dr told me she will grow out of it because she also screams like that in the bath too. I did notice if you let her play she doesn't do that as much either if that happens to be a problem. well good luck!

Clairifing shampoo, good conditioner, Girl Toys by bed head, just one drop, it's an oil, really wide tooth comb, usually found a Sally's beauty. And let the experience become something she will soon enjoy, getting your hair done should not hurt, hopefully she'll ask to have her hair combed, put up ectra. Try to do her hair in frount of a mirror so she can see. Best of luck, B.

Hi C.,
With my daughter, we always use a "vented" comb. I like the Goodie brand with curved teeth. It works better than a straight comb. We also start from the bottom and work up an inch or two at a time. If she has a big snarl, I hold the hair just above it tightly so it doesn't pull and I comb it against my hand. By holding the hair instead of the head, it doesn't pull her hair. My cousins daughter has extra curly hair down to her butt. I showed them how I comb hair now she likes having her hair combed because she doesn't feel anything.
Hope this helps...
E.

Hi C.,

I don't know how old your daughter is, but how you handle it depends on her age. If she is a toddler, I would just cut it short. By the time she grows it out she will be out of this stage. Also, regular trims keep it from being knotty and dry at the ends, so maybe she just needs a good trimming. When one of my daughters was around 8, she wanted to grow her hair long, which she did, but she wouldn't take care of it and trying to brush it wasn't a picnic. She also wouldn't let me do it so it was a daily struggle. She finally did locks of love and cut it off,and she realized that getting regular trims made it easier to handle. So make sure the length you have for her is one that she can handle.

MY 5yo's hair is to her but, she loves it so much. But still fusses when it's time to wash or brush it. And I do let her start first, time willing. I tell her you can't have long hair if we can't brush it. That gets her attention fast. They we make it funny joking about a rats nest on her head.
Maybe some leave in conditioner would help? And the other thing we do is put her hair in a pony tail or braid for bed.
Good luck, A. H

Goody makes an ouchless brush and comb. These have been a life saver for me as both my girls have curly hair.

I haven't read all the responses, so not sure if this was mentioned or not, but we use Loreal Shampoo/conditioner for fine hair for kids and use a 100% boar bristle brush and it has made a world of difference. We were using a spray on detangler with a wide tooth comb, but there were still too many battles. This new method works great for my 4yo daughter. Good luck!

I use spray-on, leave-in children's conditioner and it really cuts down on the knots and tangles. If I can tell that it's really bad during bath time, I use conditioner in the bath and then the spray-on conditioner afterwards.

This is not politically correct, but do it in front of cartoons or a movie. You can also give her something to play with while you're doing it. She needs a distraction, then lots of praise for how good she was afterwards. The other really important thing is, the way she acts can't allow her to get out of having her hair combed, or she'll keep doing it. Plus, if other people let her off the hook, it'll be that much worse for you the next time you have to do it. I've been through this with my now 6 year old daughter, all her life. Good luck--

I did this as a child in the 40's. My mom used to say "Be quiet! The neighbors will think I'm beating you!"
Finally, when I was about 7-9, she gave up and had my hair cut shorter and taught me how to fix it myself. She only had to touch it up then & I'm sure it didn't always look that great. I also had a daughter like this - hypersensitive to everything, not just haircombing (seams in socks, tags in clothes etc.). Later, when she had one this way, I learned about "tactile defensiveness". Make it as easy as you can on both of you. I think it really is a big deal to them, though it seems ridiculous! Good luck!

Use a wide toothed comb and ALWAYS comb from the bottom and work your way up toward the scalp ( I used to be a hair stylist). I highly recommend a spray detangler...the Paul Mitchell brand for kids is awesome..I've tried suave and loreal and they are so cheap and make it worse, plus, they leave a waxy build up on the hair. Use a high quality shampoo, again the one by Paul Mitchell for kids is great. As a person with her own daughter and someone who has cut the hair of hundreds of kids, I could tell right off the bat who used Sauve or Pantene because their hair was all waxy and snarly. It was hard for me to detangle their hair sometimes! (Those companies put wax in their product to make your hair "shiny", but over time, it builds up, so bad sometimes, that a perm or color chemicals won't even penetrate) Make sure that when you wash her hair, you are just shampooing the scalp, let the suds just rinse down the rest, and don't rub her hair with a towel, just blot it gently. Make sure she gets a trim every two months so those split ends aren't making your tangled mess worse. Good luck!

I don't think I saw this suggestion - when in the shower, use a wide tooth comb while the conditioner is in her hair. It is a great time to get all the tangles out. Good luck.

We go through the exact same thing. My husband entertains her (if the Disney Channel fails to do so). I don't know hownold your daughter is, but my 18-month old also likes to play with a comb, scrunhie, etc. While getting her hair done also. I also put cherrios on a table in front of her. Whatever it takes for her I sit relaltively still, I will give it to her.

Have her comb her own hair after spraying a conditioner on it. My daughter was the the same way. I decided to let her comb her own hair at the age of 8 because of the screaming and fussing. One day, she couldn't comb her hair, so we ended up going to the hair salon. It took 2 hair stylists to comb the nests out of her hair. In fact, they both told her that she should not have long hair if she couldn't take care of it. You could tell, they were having a hard time with her hair--and this really sent a message to my daughter. We ended up bying a revitalizing conditioner that you spray on and it takes out the tangles. After about a week of that, she opted to getting her hair cut. Now, at 13, she takes care of her own long hair and it always looks great. There is light at the end of this tunnel.

Hang in there,

MC

Hi C.,
It could easily be from her hair being tangled and it hurts or a sensory issue.
My son who is 7 years old has always hated his hair to be combed. What I considered being gentle with the brush or comb he interpeted as torture. He is hyper sensitive on his head and also things such as tags & socks He absolutely hates when adults brush their hands threw his hair as a loving gesture.
The older he gets the more he has grown out of alot of this.
But his head always remains sensitive. I have just learned to respect it and let him comb it or do the best I can.
It's funny but he just had his tonsils out a few weeks back.
Every single doctor and nurse that worked with him would take their hands and brush his hair back the way you do to someone not feeling well. I cringed each time because I knew how much he hates this.
Only you will know by instincts if it is just tangles that hurt her or a sensory thing. if it is tangles you have already been given great advice. If it is sensory and it does not project in any other parts of her life then I would just let it be and respect that this is who she is. If she has sensory issues in othe parts of her life there are great therapies out there now.
Best of Luck
M.

Hi C., when I was a little girl, I had extremely curly thick, unruly hair :-) My Grandma used to comb my hair and tell me she'd say the "ouches" for me. I LOVED it. I still cried when Mom combed my hair, but when Grandma did it, her dramatic version of the "ouches" had me in giggles. I barely remember it but my Mom said it was a God-send for her! Maybe that along with lots of detangler would help :-) Good luck!

Hi C., what I did when my older daughter was younger is I told her she either sits still when I brush her hair or we get it cut short. Needless to say we got it cut short and it solved the problem because the knots are no where near what they are with long hair. BTW I have 6 yr old triplets. :) Luckily only one of them is a girl and she doesnt have problems with me brushing her hair. Christina like your daughter she would scream like I was killing her.

Also, you can try the no tangle spray you can buy at the store. It does help quite a bit. I use it with my 6 yr old.

When she is in the bath put kid conditioner in her hair and take a big tooth comb and comb it out. This will make it easier to comb out. My daughter had the same problem. Hope it helps.