Seeking Advice - Foley,MN

I just wanted to respond to the "So What Happened" update that was posted by Renae aka L. (I see you changed your username from L. to Renae - why is that by the way?) I'm very confused. Did you really want our advice or not, or did you just want someone to tell you what you wanted to hear? You requested our advice as to whether or not you should tell your children that they were switching daycares. We all took time out of our busy schedules to provide you with our best advice. It seems to me that you DID in fact follow the advice we all offered, or at least partially, because you did mention that your seven year old knew about the switch (so either you told him or he found out on his on), you also mentioned that the four year old understood based upon the going-away gift that your family gave to the provider. You also mentioned that you took them to meet the new provider ahead of time, wasn't that based upon my advice? I had mentioned in my advice to you that you should arrange a visit ahead of time. I'm just shocked that you took our advice, labeled it as your own (stating that you 'went with your own instint', umm..no, you didn't...your instint was not to tell them, remember?, and then instead of thanking us for the advice you decided to pose that odd question which I'm not even going to bother addressing because I'll just let you go with "your own instint" on that one, okay.

_____________________________________________________________________

I would definitely let the children know that this will be their last week at that day care. Can you set up a visit for them to meet with their new day care provider/center? It would help them transition better if they can meet their new provider ahead of time and see where they will be going during the day. This is what I did with my oldest when she switched day cares at 3 years of age. I also had an open discussion with her as well and allowed her the opportunity to ask questions. And she did have some questions such as ... what do I call her (the new provider)?, What happens if I have to go to the bathroom?, etc.

Another thing to consider is that most day care providers/centers will usually have a going away party for the children. What would happen if they had the going away party for your children who didn't even know that they were going away?

They should definitely be allowed the chance to say goodbye to their friends and the providers. After all this was their home-away-from-home and they have built those relationships.

Also, have you told the daycare that you are switching your children? Most daycare have it in their legally binding contracts that you either have to give them a two week notice or you have to pay them for two weeks worth of care. Be sure to check your contract and abide by it. And future daycares sometimes want to know where your children were at before so that they can call and talk to your previous provider to see if they had any issues with you such as late payments, no payments, etc. So please don't burn any bridges with the old provider.

Another tip is that I would always ask my former provider (provided that I wasn't pulling my child out due to poor performance on their parts) if they would be willing in the future to provide back-up care for my children if my current provider was out sick. They all said "yes, of course". And that is just what they did.

Hope this info helps.

i would also let them know the change is coming...hype it up that is going to be a change for the good...perhaps you could send in treats for the last day so they could say goodby to friends and teachers...also, maybe send in treats the first day at the new place as an icebreaker to meet new friends.

i would let them know so they can say thier good byes plus so they can prepare themselves for the change and not be confused by the sudden change.

Let them say good bye and bring treats.

We recently switched daycares with our 3 year old and even though he is still pretty young we had him bring in treats to share with the kids and a present for the day care provider.

DEFINITELY TELL THEM! I did daycare for 5 years and it was always hard on me and the kids when an end came. I would throw the kids a party, take everyone to McDonalds playland, or do something special on the last day though. And usually gave them a parting gift as well.

Most families would bring treats for snack to hand out to their friends and sometimes they would bring little trinkets or toys for each one the the other kids too. To remember them by. And once they are done, if they are sad some day you can have them make a picture or letter to send to their old provider. It's very nice to get that in the mail!!!

Just don't blind-sight the kids. They need to know the truth.

Definitely let them know. Otherwise, how will they trust you in the future? How will they feel stable where they are? ...will they wonder if next week they will be in a new daycare again? A seven year old is smart enough to know that Mommy was the one who made them move. The little ones may be confused and wonder why, although they may not be able to express it or really know what is going on. Changing daycare centers is like switching schools for older kids...it will be an emotional situation and a huge adjustment for them, and they may have a really hard time with the instability of it. I think you should ALWAYS, always let your children know when there is going to be a big change in their life.
My friend was divorced about 7 years ago, and his ex-wife has moved their son around 8 times in those 7 years. The boy now hates his mom, doesn't have any friends and has trouble bonding because he is not sure if the friendship will last or if he will be moving away again. He is behind in school and has other behavioral issues...all of them stemming from the instability his mother has brought on to them. It strikes a nerve with me any time I hear about a parent changing the kids whole world around. Life happens though... but I think you should know this is not just a simple change that wont affect them. It will affect them in some way or another and it's good to prepare them for it as best as you can. Good luck.