Seeking Advice for Children Who Have to Double up in a Room

I lean toward the younger ones sharing a room if the baby is another boy--being oldest should come with the occasional advantage. ;-)

If you have a girl, it may be better to put the boys together in the same room. At this young age, gender won't matter, but what will you do when they get older? Are you planning to have another bedroom by then, or would you try to move the two boys in together later?

If you put the boys together, give the older one a shelf or toybox that his younger brother cannot get into, to help alleviate some of the "territorial" battles. ;-)

HTH!
--A.

When I was a kid, I roomed with my brother for quite a while, and it didnt matter to us. I think it's easier to room the older kids together, just so you arent interupting their sleep with a baby that doesnt sleep through the night. Good luck!

I'd put the younger 2 together. My brother & I were together when we were toddlers & babies. We're 15 mos apart. It lasted about 2 years until we realied how to make messes together, then our mom had to separate us. I just think it's noy as big of a deal to young kids as it is older kids. Older kids like their privacy.

Ages matter now I think. Also which of your children is that harder sleeper so that maybe they will not wake up when the baby does. When they get older gender will matter, I guess it is a matter of whether you want to be moving kids around in the the house later or not.

Well lucky me I haven't run into the issue as having only one child. But A friend of mine ran into issues due to the fact she had 4 kids 3 girls and one boy. the girls were twins who are now 5 and the boy is 4 and the youngest is soon to be 2. unfortunatly she lost her kids due to the nosy srs believing other people's stories over the mother who knew what was going on. but srs had told her that if the kids can tell the difference between girl and boy then they can not be in the same room. I know it probably isn't feasible to move so my suggestion is keep the baby in your room at least until they sleep through the night and put the older kids together. since i don't know just how big the house is I can't really tell you any ideas about rearranging things. Our living room is so big that we may end up putting a wall up to create an extra bedroom since our basement is off limits due to the fact spiders and rodents like to get in through areas we can't close off and that with enough rain it gets water in it. We also though about adding two walls to make the dinning room a bedroom since we never eat in it anyways. just thought I would share our ideas for our house to maybe give you ideas you had not thought about.

We had 8 children but fortunately they came in twos. Two boys, two girls, two boys, two girls so they did share rooms no matter what their age. I kept the baby in a crib in our room until about 6 mo. old with some of them depending on space at the time or the older child being able to not try to be too helpful with the baby, etc. I would say if you have your kids all about 3 years apart it is just a matter of how they relate to the baby as far as who shares and also the maturity of the older child and mainly if the baby is a girl. I think the boys would be best together if you have a girl. I, personally, think gender does matter fairly early. It's nice to see so many others have made it work with small homes and few bedrooms and it did not hurt our kids. It's funny but the two that shared in most cases were opposites and I told them God was preparing them for marriage and sure enough they married opposites. The neat one versus a not so neat one. They are all closest to the one they shared a room with party due to the fact of sharing and maybe too age and sex being the same.
Whatever you decide I know you will be blessed with a new addition.

I'd put the oldest two together for now, babies need a lot of stuff and are more likely to wake the older one up. We had 6 kids growing up and we were always switching who slept together (I mean every couple of years, depending on who was at the age to need privacy and who was getting a long best, who was going off to college). You can always switch later. I have 2 with one on the way, but my girls have shared a room since the youngest one stopped sleeping in my room. Also, you know how well your kids get along together and how they will do better. Another plus is they can get used to it before the baby is born, as there will be a lot of changes...

I don't think your five year old will feel as threatened so the baby would be safer with him initially, but keeping the 5 and 2 year olds together might be good too.

Hi. We had the same issue earlier this year when our 3rd child arrived. We have a 6 year old boy and a 4 year old girl in a 3 bedroom house. We decided since the kids were young enough to put the 2 oldest together for now. So far it's been working out.

I vote for the baby and the youngest. My daughter was 2 when my son was born, and they shared a room until ages 7 and 5, because we had only 2 bedrooms. When we moved to our new 3 bedroom house, they both had their own rooms and really missed each other.

I share your problem. My girls are 10, 5, and 1. My son is 8. We have 4 bedrooms, but one is in the basement (which is unfinished, and frankly pretty dirty and gross), so we are stuck with squeezing 6 people into 3 bedrooms. The kids rooms are really small, also. We don't have room for them to keep toys in the bedrooms, so I had to clean out the garage and turn it ino a play room for all of that. We have a bunk bed in one bedroom, and two twin beds in the other (tight squeeze!). We have had our 1 year old's crib in our bedroom since she was born. I agree that the older kids should have their privacy, but we simply don't have the space for it. We can't cram our 5 year old into our room for that, and since we are only renting, we aren't going to waste the time and money to finish the basement to make it livable to access the fourth bedroom. What we had to settle on is that during the day, the older kids have their rooms to themselves whenever they want to have their privacy. At night, my 5 year old will sleep in one room or the other. I don't see that it's hurting anything, since they don't have to share beds.
If putting the new baby in your room isn't an option that would work for you (I wouldn't prefer it, but we didn't have another choice), then I would recommend putting the older kids together for awhile. When the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, you don't want him/her waking up your boys, and younger kids will sometimes disturb the baby as well out of curiosity. It probably won't be ideal for your oldest son, but short of building on a new room or moving to a new place, everyone will have to make an adjustment of some kind. I think the suggestion of giving him a place for his things out of little brother's reach is a really good idea. You can even ask him, if his brother shares his room, how would he like things set up? Let him help decide how the room will be, so he won't feel like he has no say in it.
I hope it works out for you, and congratulations and good luck with your new little one!

I don't think gender matters too much for the young kids. We had a 2 bedroom house & our boys (7 & 3) had to share a room. When deciding on whom to put with whom I think sleep needs are the most important. We moved into a 3 bedroom apt. 5 months ago (for my husbands job) now our boys each have thier own rooms. Our 3 y/o would wake up our 7 y/o (who had school & needed 12 hrs. of sleep, while our 3 y/o would wake up at 6:30 - 7 am no matter what time we put him to bed).

God bless!

Have you thought about putting the baby in with the 6 year old? My SIL did this with their kids and it seemed to work well. I would say it depends on how well the older ones can sleep through the noise and who needs naps when and that kind of thing. If the 2 year old is still taking a nap, is a toddler that doesn't want to take a nap going to keep the baby up too? Do you have toys in their rooms? Will the oldest want to play in his room while either the toddler or the baby are napping? Lots to think about. No one can really tell what will work for your family so do what you think is best.

Bless your heart! I'm only speaking from my own experience. I shared a room with my sister forever. And I think we are close today because of that! We got in a lot of trouble together, we fought, we laughed & we shared! It's a great thing! I once made my girls spend a week in the same room just to teach them to appreciate each other.
We always kept the crib in our room for the first 4-6 months!
Good luck! God Bless you!

If I were you I would have the 6 and 3 year old room together. My girls are 5 & 3 and love sharing a room. I would think that with a new baby and the unknown sleeping pattern the baby will have, it will be better for both baby and 3 year old to not be in the same room. I know with my youngest daughter there were times when my other children would happen to wake in the middle of the night while I was nursing baby, and can't imagine how often that would happen if they had shared a room. You can always switch them again later once baby is older so your six year old could have his own room again. Good luck!

I'd keep the 2/3 year old and the 6 year old together for now but would consider moving the baby & the middle child together later on since they'll be closer in age. With a baby waking during the night that would disturb the middle child now but later on down the road I'd consider moving them into one room because of their ages.... of couse gender will matter down the road too and not all that far off for your 6 year old. You'll just have to see what you get and decide later what to do there if you have a little girl I'd keep the boys together!

Congrats!

L.

I suggest your baby room with the youngest. I have three children and my youngest, who is 3, sleeps in the room with my middle child who is 7. It works out great because my oldest, who is 9, would rather have his own space. I, too, have three bedrooms. Right now, seperating them by gender does not matter. They are not old enough to understand the differences in gender anyway at this point..... so why bother? Of course, when they get older, say 10, it would be time to seperate them.

I would definitely put your two boys together and let the baby have their own room for a while. We have 5 children and we tried to room the baby with the youngest child and the baby kept her up all night. So then we were dealing with 2 cranky kids. I would say after the baby is out of their crib - then you can re-arrange as needed. Trust me - you'll know who can room together and who can't by that point. Good luck! And Congratulations!!

Well, we had six kids in a three bedroom house before we added on and obviously they had to double up! :) I would suggest teaming up by gender, or giving the oldest his own room. We believe that it is good for them to share a room as they learn a lot about getting along with others that way. (In fact our youngest son, age 10, won't sleep in his room if his big brother is gone.) As our children have grown up, the oldest gets to have his/her own room, based on some one moving out. So far this has worked well for us, although there are some fights over space, cleanliness, noise, etc., but again, a good learning experience. Family is a great training ground and the best thing in the world! Enjoy it all as it really does go by FAST!!

I am having this issue (in a few weeks) as we live in a 2 bedroom house and we are expecting #2 in five weeks or less!! However by the time we have a third, we'll have an addition so more rooms!! That being said, I think it would probably be best to put your 6 and 3 year old together initially - especially if they both have well established sleeping routines. I think for me, the second option would be to put the 6 year old and the baby together - only because by the age of 6, if he wakes up, he will probably be able to fall back asleep fairly easily where as the 3 year old may need some nurturing/holding/etc because he's still young.

Good luck and congratulations!!

We have 2 girls, 3 years and 11 months. A couple of points to consider: Is your 2/3 year old still napping? Does he play in his room a lot?
I would recommend putting the new baby in his/her own room for the first, oh, maybe year to 18 months. The baby will probably be sleeping a lot (especially at first) and it's hard on a 2/3 year old to be shut out of his room and away from his toys. Plus, if he is napping too, I've found it really tough to get them on a coordinated napping schedule, so I was always getting one up and putting one down, going in & out of the room.
Having been an oldest though, I would try to get the younger ones to share a room after that point. Probably even if the new baby is a girl. An 8 year old is starting to need some privacy, and the youngest 2 would be alright for a couple of years together if boy/girl (longer if boy/boy). That would give you about 3-4 years to figure out a way to get everyone his/her own room.

I would agree that it should depend on if this child is a girl or boy. If all 3 are boys, I would room the oldest 2 together until the baby is sleeping through the night. Then once the baby is sleeping well I'd move the middle child in with the 2 year old.

Then again, if you have enough space you could keep the baby in a crib in your room until the baby is sleeping through.

One possibility if they are all boys would be to make one room for sleeping only and put all 3 together. Then turn the other room into a playroom. Hopefully, by the time the children are old enough to really be sick of sharing, you'll be able to move.

Hang in there. I know of a pastor family here in the area that has raised 6 children in a 2 bedroom house!

Suzi

I have 2 boys, 20 months apart. My youngest just turned 2. I tried bunking them in together when he was 3 months and it did not go well. The whole different sleep schedule thing that was mentioned earlier was a big problem, especially when one of them would wake up in the night or very early in the morning. I still have trouble keeping my oldest from waking my youngest up of a morning! I think the older boys should share a room. It is better to teach them how to share speace and respect one another now. Assuming they grow up and go to college or move in with a significant other, they will need to know how to share a space.

I would seperate by age right now and keep the baby in a room alone. And then I would seperate by gender.

Congratulations. Hope you have a easy delivery.

God Bless,
L.