Seeking Advice on Sleep for 5 Week Old

It is better that you put her down and let her cry it out now. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. I know how hard it is to let the little one cry at this age, but a little crying now will save you a TON of sanity in the end.

My dd was very much the same, but I had held her because I was consoling her due to reflux issues. I used a heating pad on low to warm her bed and then put it in it. Also, once you "think" they are asleep, hold them for 5 more minutes before trying to put them down, and sometimes when you put them down you might have to rub their face or belly and put the pacifier back in to help them settle back down if they do wake. If you pick her immediately up again it only starts all over. Don't let her cry for more than 5 minutes, but you can stand their and rub her face or sing a song she likes while she's in the bed to get her more used to it.

I had twins that were 6 weeks early and came home from the NICU after 3 weeks. They both really only slept well if they were being held. We tried slings and none of us really liked them. They were too small to really be comfortable in a swing or bouncy seat, and so we started laying them on a boppy pillow. This is totally not recommended by the manufacturer or safety people, but we only did it with us right there. We would swaddle them and hold them, and then once asleep we would lay them down with their head propped up and snuggled in. This worked until they got a little older and started squirming. Then they were bigger and started really liking their swings (great to put outside in nice weather).

My babies are 7 months now and I long for the days when I would just hold them and rock them. Now we have "sleep schedules" and "nap times," all for their benefit for sure. But I do sometimes miss those days in the beginning.

So 2 pieces of advice: try the boppy pillow (with very close supervision cause eventually they will learn to roll out) and enjoy this time with your newborn because it won't last but a fleeting second.

You'll decide on the cry/no cry issue, BUT I am sure you can't hold her 24/7 - and you shouldn't have to. When you want to lay her down, get a heating pad and turn it on in her crib or wherever, then let it warm the area. REMOVE it, but lay her down where it used to be, and if she is sleeping, she wont touch cold sheets, and should help the transition! Good luck.. Mine is 12 weeks, and is doing well.. Just be patient. and GOOD LUCK!

I'd recommend Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby," and Denise Fields and Ari Brown's "Baby 411". I recall our baby went through a phase where he had to be held or he would not sleep, and I think it was around a month of age. I think that's normal. My husband worked nights, so on nights he had off, he'd hold our baby so I could sleep; on nights he did work, I occasionally got what sleep I could propped up in the recliner with the baby. No, it's not good sleep, and I was panicky that I'd drop the baby if I relaxed too much, but it was something.

A baby isn't physiologically able to sleep through the night or to respond well to "crying it out" until he's around 4 months. It was really hard waiting until four months, but about a week after his 4-month birthday, we began Weissbluth's "rapid extinction" method (i.e. crying it out), and after a dreadful week of anguish for all concerned, baby started sleeping 10 and 12 hours at night. He's unusual in how much he sleeps, I'll give him that, but he has not suffered at all for being left alone to figure out how to soothe himself to sleep. He's the happiest, most social and loving baby you ever saw, and going to bed has rarely been a problem after 4.5 months. (He's 14 months now).

So, bottom line, sometimes nothing helps a new baby sleep but being held, but if you desperately need to lie down, then swaddle your baby, make sure she's safe, and then lie down yourself so you don't get too worn out. It WILL NOT hurt your child to cry for a while ON OCCASION, though it rips your guts out to hear it. But, the other thing is to try and be patient and enjoy that you DO get to cuddle your baby while she's this small. I miss getting to hold my son like that, now he's so big and active, and I never thought I'd feel that way.

With my daughter I had a bassinet that vibrated and that was almost the only way to get her to sleep without holding her and now she is in a crib because she is 4 months old and the transition has worked well from bassinet to crib. I got the bassinet at K mart. If that doesn't work the only advice I got with my daughter was to let her cry it out and she would fall asleep I've only had to do that a couple times and it is very hard but crying is good for there lungs according to the nurse. Good Luck and Congrats on the new baby

Hi C.,
Your baby is only 5 weeks old! Imagine what it was like in your womb, that warm, surrounded, safe feeling - a good swaddle may help but doesn't cut it, the human touch is essential! I agree with Liev - get a baby sling or Bjorn or whatever to keep that baby close. Slings are great for freeing up your arms & hands all while your little one is feeling secure, safe, warm and surrounded. If you want to put her down, once baby is fast asleep you can transfer your baby into a crib/bassinet and place the rolled up baby blankets or something on either side of your baby, to keep the feeling of being surrounded. One day you may remember there was a time when she wanted to be held in your arms and not put down, and you will cherish that memory. It seems in a blink of an eye, they start pushing us away in an effort to be 'big' kids. Congratulations on your new bundle enjoy every moment they grow so quickly!

Take a t-shirt that you have been wearing for the day and wrap it around her body like you do a blanket for the burito effect. Your smell will be on it and therefore she will think you are close to her.

Hi C....
I think this is pretty normal for a five week old. Have you tried using a sling while she is awake. The movement in a sling and the fact that she can smell you & hear you better and feel like part of you again help lull her back to sleep easily. YOu can even lay her down while she's still in the sling by gently slipping it off your shoulder.
Just a tought. But remember, you can't spoil a new born baby, or a baby for that matter. That's something our parents will say though. Crying is the only way they have to communicate with us. Your daughter probably has been missing you if others have been holding her a lot lately. She'll adjust to what it is you want to be 'normal' in your house.
Good luck.
V.

Get the book BabyWise.
Don't listen to other people's negative comments.
Read it for yourself and form your own opinion.
It was wonderous for our family and many many many of the families that I know....they have peaceful easy sleepers for children.

Every child is different and you'll of course, need to be flexible and do what works for you and your family.

This was a lifesaver for mine.

Please let us know what works for you!

My daughter just turned five months old. When we brought her home from the hospital I was in awe how she slept anywhere and would fall asleep by herself...until five to six weeks of age. That all changed. She would not let me put her down. She did not sleep well. I had to hold the child non stop. However, this is a stage. By the time she was three to four months old she completely grew out of it. My daughter did not "get spoiled" from being held...because what I have read they don't get spoiled. My daughter was not held that often to spoil her and she did the same thing. It is a stage...hang in there it will pass.

As a grandmother of a 5 week old who has the same problem because I've created it, my suggestion is to do what I've begun to do with my daughter's (her mother's) blessing. When she falls asleep in your arms, put her into her crib or bassinet. She'll probably fight herself awake within 15 minutes. Before she goes into an all out meltdown, pick her up and let her go back to sleep. When she's snoozing soundly, again put her into her bed. Do this every single time it's nap/bed time; don't let your exhaustion interrupt the process. It will take some effort but it will work. I know because my angel has begun to adjust. Good luck!

Baby wearing is the answer.

oh how precious. It will take some time and patience but it can be done but you probably won't like my suggestion. First try a boppy pillow because it make them think they are in someone's arms. If that doesn't work, she'll have to cry it out a little. Once you know she isn't wet, hungry, clothes are not scratchy, gassy, you know the checklist, swaddle her in a blanket and lay her down. Let her cry for a little, not very long though, she's so young, then pick her up and lay her back down. As she gets older let her cry a little longer. Good luck.

It is pretty normal for a 5 week old to want to be held when not sleeping. I used a SNUGLI baby carrier that allowed me to hold the baby in front of my body hands free. It was wonderful and created such security for the child whose normal need for touch and love is satisfied. B. S. RN CCM

I agree with several previous responses. The Boppy can be a life saver. Sleep with it for a night or two so that it smells like you. Swaddle your baby in the shirt you wore the day before. The poor thing has probably been very confused by all the traffic that has been going through your home for the first weeks of her life. Children (even at this tender age) thrive on routine. It gives them a sense of security. Even before she was born she had time to get used to your daily routine as she was carried in the womb. Try to adhere to a certain routine during feedings, diaper changes, baths, and those precious few hours of sleep. Patience and consistency are your strongest weapons. Of course, she IS only 5 weeks old so you will, of course, have to adapt to her schedule to your own, but make it as comforting as possible and if all else fails, you have two options: 1) Take 10 minutes to soothe her to sleep or B) suffer through an hour of her struggling to do it herself. If she is truly hooked on being held, then treat it as you would a change in formula; wean her off of it. Little by little, let her spend short amounts of time without being held, gradually increasing the intervals by a minute or two until she can handle it on her own. Best of luck to you and congrats on your new addition.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE dont let her cry it out. It is not "good for their lungs" it does nothing to benefit them. The only reason a baby stops crying is because time after time again when they cry and noone comes they learn they have no one to depend on. They are defeated:(

This is normal. Most babies go through it. Remember, they are only little once and before you know it they dont need you anymore. Eventhough it is hard, remember it will be over before you know it. I found babywearing is wonderful. They smell you, hear your heartbeat, feel you, etc. It provides all the security they need to know you are there for them. Good Luck!

Hi C..

When the time comes to put her to bed, do it. Let her cry. It's not going to hurt her. She will soon learn to entertain herself. My daughter is staying with us for awhile, and she has a seven week old boy who had the same problem. Her doctor told her to just let him cry for awhile, then get him, cuddle him, change him, whatever, and put him back to bed. If you don't catch it now, she will be much more difficult to correct later. Good luck.

A.

My baby was the same way until she was about 4 or 5 months old. That is when we started putting her in her crib and letting her cry a little and go to sleep on her own. But I didn't want to do that any earlier, she seemed so small and I wanted to rock her to sleep and reassure her. I figured the best thing to do for a baby that young was to hold her and walk around and let her fall asleep that way and then very gently place her in her crib so she doesn't wake up. We did that until she was 4 months or so. It got a little tiring, but that's what I thought was best. I would also relax in a recliner while holding her as she fell asleep because really I was too tired to want to do anything else anyway. Of course sometimes we drove around with her and let her fall asleep in the car seat/carrier, then took the carrier inside and let her nap in that sometimes (during the day), which was nice. But basically we just held her a lot, all the time. I think babies need to be held a lot during those first few months. It was hard to do it all the time, but I think it is the best thing to do. She also really liked being carried around in the Baby Bjorn front carrier, which was easier on my back than holding her in my arms and also freed my arms to get a few things done, and half the time she fell asleep in that for a little nap. Good luck - The having-to-hold-the-baby-all-the-time phase will pass quickly. Mine is now crawling and now she won't let anyone hold her very long at all - she squirms so she can get down and crawl everywhere! Once they start being able to sit up on their own they want to do that a lot too, instead of being held.

ALL of our children(I learned this lesson w/our first-lol)IMMEDIATLEY go into the swing to sleep at night,and the new baby will be born in Jan. and he will also go into the swing to sleep.With our first, he had the same "problem"-wanting to be held tight,swayed,constantly rocked,etc...our pediatrician suggested that we swaddle him real snug,recline the seat,lay him in at an angle and set the swing on LOW all night. TADAAAA!!!! Worked like a charm! Also, I feel alot safer about it because I like the idea of the infant being right next to me and I don't have to "worry" about the idea of them spitting up in the middle of the night and not being able to roll over,choke,etc. We have used this method w/ all 3 of our children and I will use it w/ the new baby when he's born.We set up the swing on my side of the bed and I'm always right there if they wake up or fuss or I hear any noises.Then,like ritual,in the mornings,my hubby gets up,wlks to the swing,picks up the baby, hands me a fresh diaper and wipes and I just sit up, change the baby and they go directly to the breast for breakfast! Hope this helps and gives you an idea to try!