Seeking Advice Regarding Name Change for 5 y.o. Girl

Updated on September 11, 2011
C.C. asks from Los Angeles, CA
50 answers

Hello,
My five year old just started kindergarten and I am having an issue w/her name. When she was born I gave her the name Mary Ellen and she was going to have my last name, but instead the father came back into our lives (everything is good now), and his name is Mccreery. My daughter likes to be called Mary, so therefore she is Mary Mcreery. She is just starting K and i have big fear of kids poking fun of her name and need advice on how to prevent this. I talked to her about being called by her middle name or using both her first and middle name and shes not into it. I don't want to pressure her into something or give her a complex, I just love her so much and don't want anyone to hurt her feelings. I know if I wanted to change her name I should of done it before she was this age, but we didn't . Because school just started and she can write her whole name should I insist she go by Mary Ellen or Ellen? I would appreiciate any advice out there. Thanks so much

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of advice and insightful comments. I think I am going to just stick with it for now, and only change if my daughter wants to do so in the future. I appreciate everyones comments and enjoyed reading all of them! I am new to this site and love it! Thanks again, C.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

What on earth is wrong with her name? Is there something I'm missing here? I truly don't understand what you're hung up on. Her name is pretty, easy to spell, flows nicely and sounds like a good, solid, perfectly normal name to me.

16 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Why on earth would they make fun of her name?
It sounds so perfect. Like it was meant to be..

Let her be the name SHE wants.

12 moms found this helpful
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R.H.

answers from Boston on

I'm having trouble understanding why people would make fun of that name. Is there some awful celebrity with that name or something?

11 moms found this helpful

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

What's so wrong with Mary McCreery?
Doing birth certificates at a hospital, I encountered things way more open to taunting than that.

It's her name.
It's not even a bad name.
I guess I'm not sure why you'd be concerned over changing it.

I think it has a certain ring to it, myself.

Just my opinion.

12 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I urge you to leave her name alone and let her work it out for herself. No matter her name, someone is likely to tease her about it or something else. Be supportive, empathic if she is teased. I suggest you cannot protect your daughter or prevent teasing. It's a fact of life. Teach her to not let it bother her. She is more than her name.

I also like the name. It does have a musical flow to it. I googled the name and some very responsible woman have that name. I'd be proud of the name.

12 moms found this helpful
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E.L.

answers from Detroit on

I honestly think Mary Mcreery is absolutely adorable. I don't know if kids would make fun of it. If that's what she's used to, and she likes it, I would just keep it if I were you. Kids will find something to make fun of, no matter what it is. :-)

11 moms found this helpful
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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think her name is darling! It flows and sounds as if she's a movie star. If your daughter has made up her mind, I would let it be. Kids can find any reason in the world to make fun of one another. I would just go with the flow and maybe her name will be a nonissue.

10 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I agree w/ Mandy...
Am I missing something? What is wrong w/ Mary Mccreery? Just because it is a lot of M's and R's? Sometimes I am slow w/ these things-and I should be in bed. Lol.
I would leave it alone.
Kids will pick on her regardless of her name if they want to.
Let her be who she is. :)

9 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I actually like Mary Mccreery. I think it has a nice lilt to it.
Let her be called what she wants to be called - what she is comfortable with.

I named my son Zachary. I call him Zachary, I never shorten it, never though about shortening it. In school, he goes by Zach - has since pre-school. Our last name is Back. Yep, Zach Back - I didn't even consider that when I named him. LOL

He is 15 now and has had a rhyming name since pre-school. He thinks it is funny.

9 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Why would kids make fun of that name? I highly doubt they will even notice, whatever it is you think they are going to notice.

9 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Wait, you're afraid of her getting fun of being named Mary Mcreery.?? Why? Seriously, though. Am I missing something, I really don't understand.

You're being a tad paranoid, mama. Don't make her ashamed of her name, leave it alone.

7 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

If she's not into you wanting her to go by her middle name, why would she be into you changing her name completely? If she likes it, just leave it alone. If you're really worried about the teasing, teach her how to handle it, and that there is NOTHING wrong (atleast I think there's nothing wrong) with her name.
My name is Jennifer......and I got called Jenny Craig. Everyone gets teased about something, atleast once in their life. If it's not your name it's something else. Teach her how to handle teasing and bullying.
Good Luck =)

7 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think you need to change her name. Most kids probably won't tease her. If they do, I don't think there is anything so awful that they can come up with. Yes, the names are similar, but I can't think of any mean or vulgar names you can make up with them.

7 moms found this helpful
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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can't figure out what might be wrong with the name Mary Mcreery.... is this the real concern or is it something else?

6 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it's a beautiful name. Like someone mentioned below...If you're concerned about the M's and R's, I honestly don't think kids will even notice this. Of course, Mary Ellen is so nice too, but it'll probably end up being shortened to Mary anyway.

6 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I think it's a nice, wholesome name. Why would she get teased? Is it possible that you're just anxious about your baby starting Kinder & are just blaming the name? I wouldn't worry about it. It's a nice name.

5 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You could name your child Joe Smith and kid would find something to make fun of. I say don't be afraid FOR her. EMPOWER her. She is Mary Mcreery. Help her to OWN that. There are far worse things to be named. My nephew's intials are ED and the D is for his father's middle name. Maybe kids will make erectile dysfunction jokes or just call him Ed or maybe they won't tease him at all. Don't try to change her name for a bunch of 5 yr olds. Teach her to be proud of who she IS vs worry about what other kids might possibly think.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi Carrie,

You're clearly very concerned for your daughters emotional well being, which is commendable... However...

Take a breath and relax. THIS is not a big deal. She likes her name... there is nothing wrong with her name. Kids in school use their FIRST names, or FIRST name LAST INITIAL if there are two kids in class with the same first name. This continues all the way through school, really, so just relax.

Do NOT insist that she go by a name that is not how she identifies. You named her Mary, that's her name.

Hope this helps,
T.

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

I think you are making a big deal about nothing. You are going to make her self concous(my sp is horrible) about her name. That's not fair. I know kids can be cruel but I don't think her name is horrible. I also worked in my sons K class last year and there were kids with crazy names and no one made fun of them for it. I would leave it alone or she will be a nervous wreck to tell anyone her full name,and I don't think you want that. You want her to be proud of her name so incase she does get picked on when she is older she won't let it bother her.

5 moms found this helpful
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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

what are kids going to say that you are so afraid of? she can be smellin ellen. smelly ellie, scary mary. any name can be made fun of. let her keep the name she likes. i

4 moms found this helpful

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Are you more worried about her having his last name? I don't think it is that crazy of a name... Mary is a cute name. Mary Mccreery is a cute name. Don't stress.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I think Mary Mcreery is a beautiful name! I wouldn't change a thing. :)

4 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I don't understand why someone would make fun of Mary Mcreery? I think it sounds nice - very lilting. I would not change her name at all or even worry about this. If kids want to tease another kid they will find a way. Really, what you want is a child who knows how to stand up for themselves and let things roll off their backs.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Houston on

Mary is a beautiful name. I don't understand why the last name Mcreery would be an issue with it. I say celebrate that your daughter likes her name and has the self confidence to say so!

At some point in her life someone is going to poke fun or tease her about something or other. Kids just do that. You won't be able to prevent it. But with a solid and beautiful name like Mary it won't be her name. And now you know that when of if she is teased she can stand up for herself. Good for Mary!

4 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think she should go by whatever name she likes. A name change may be confusing for her.

My name is C. and the kids up the street from me called me C.-Farla. It hurt my feelings but I survived. How was my mother to know by naming me C. I would be teased because it rhymes with Farla.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.D.

answers from San Diego on

Please done change her name because of what other people may or may not do with it. It teaches a kid that instead of being strong and fighting for yourself, you should change to accommodate what others find pleasing. My name is R. and when I was your daughters age, and Reagan was prez, I was made fun of all te time. Having an original name was not cool in the 80s like it is now and all I wanted was to be named Sarah or Jennifer like half my friends. But I love my name now and wouldn't change a thing. I agree with everyone else that kids will find a way to make fun of any name if they want so let your daughter be who she is and who she wants to be! She will be stronger for it!

4 moms found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't get the problem either. So sweet of a name. I think it is adorable ....what is the issue ?

4 moms found this helpful
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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I say let be called whatever she wants. Here is the reason...........when I was pregnant with my third son I wanted to name him Dakota and call him Dak. When my two oldest said NO b/c they would say where are you from North or South. So I gave them a list of names that I liked and they picked Dylan. So my oldest son calls him Dill Pickle or just Pick hey I could have had Dakota. It really doesn't matter kids will find anything to tease another kid about............it is just the right of passage

4 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Her name is Mary. How lovely. Really. It is a beautiful name, there might even be another girl with MAry in her name. How lucky.
My full name is Marjorie. I would have loved a name like Mary, Anna, Sue (my middle name). THey may say Mary Mary quite contrary, but that is about the worst of it
She won't be called MArge the Barge or Margarine her whole school life.
I think you are looking for trouble before there is any. Relax, let her be called Mary.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Honestly, you're obsessing for no reason. Her name is fine. You will give her a complex if you obsess about her name so stop. You could have the perfect name and kids STILL make fun of SOMETHING.

You love your girl, and you're nervous, but you have to try to relax. She's going out into the world and her feeling will get hurt about something. You can't prevent it. You can help her to become a strong woman and not care about the stupid things people say. THAT would be a much better thing to do than try to change her name.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Well, considering *I* had to go through school with kids teasing me with "Lesley the lesbian", I think Mary is a beautiful name.

Really, just leave it be :)

4 moms found this helpful
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G.S.

answers from New York on

That is truly something she'll have to decide on her own. I was named Gerri, either way. My dad's name is Jerry so I was either a Jr. or G.. Gerri for short, but some of my teachers let me go by G., other's didn't. I have tried to go by G. most of my life, kind of as my own power struggle b/c I see the reaction I get when Gerri was called and I answered (the teacher was shocked to see girl w/that name). If your daughter is okay with going by just Mary, then so be it! Good luck to you, but honestly don't sweat it if she's not!

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B.H.

answers from Dallas on

I think Mary is pretty. My son's name is Benjamin. My hubs and I call him Benjamin, sister calls him Benny - but everyone else calls him Ben. He decided that himself in K when he realized it was easier to write 3 letters on his papers :-) I found that in school, all the adults ask the kids what they wanted to be called.

I don't think she's going to get made fun of -- based on some of the strange names I heard around my kids' schools.

3 moms found this helpful

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

Hmmm, I know a Mary Mason, a Mary Mackadenz, a Mary Murphy, a Maureen Murphy, Margaret Mead....none of them, to the best of my knowledge were made fun of for having repeating consonants.

I have a son whose name is Jacob, and our last name starts with a J. I can't imagine that he will EVER be teased for being a JJ.

At this point, I think changing her name has FAR more potential to damage her than having the initials MM.

3 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I love it too. Flows well and I love ellen. I wouldn't change anything

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T.N.

answers from San Diego on

She has a beautiful name. Don't worry so much about it that she picks up on it and starts hating her name. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with her name.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with what everyone has already said. Your daughter's name is flawless just the way it is. I also wanted to add that kindergarten children have no idea what one another's last names are.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Her name is beautiful. It flows very well together. I think names that have the same initial for first and last always go well together. I wouldn't change anything!

3 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you should just let her go with what she wants and if it becomes a problem, she can change it later. I do not think children will find the name something to make fun of. My name was D first name and D last name, my son is an R first name and R last name. Nobody thinks about it. The children will know her as Mary and thats it. If anyone ever wants to make fun, it will be in middle school, and if there isn't a name to make fun of, kids will find something else. I would not worry about it. It's a beautiful name and she likes it, so I think you can let it sit for now.

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T.F.

answers from San Diego on

If someone wants to make fun of your child it will happen no matter what her name is. Her name is cute. I personally think if you keep bring up the subject with her she is going to start thinking kids will make fun of her. Let it be. If later in life she wants to change it let her.

My first name is Tina. Kids in ele. school would call me Tina Turner it was the 80's! LOL!

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L.R.

answers from Wausau on

My sons name rhymes with Poop so I don't really see anything wrong with Marry Ellen Mcreery! Don't see why anyone would tease! Now my sons name...lol poor boys gonna have to be tough!!

2 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Let her decide what name she wants to go by. As she gets older she
may decide to use her whole name. I would not try to get her to change.
It is her name, she owns it! Ido not understand why you think kids would
make fun of her. It is a fine name.

1 mom found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Should have just given her your birth name anyways - regardless of the bio dad's involvement. I'm married and my children still have MY birth name and I kept my name intact when I got married.

Wouldn't matter what her first name is... with a last name of McCreery, she'll be made fun of anyways.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Her legal name is what is on the birth certificate, whether he dad is in her life or not. I would not go to court to have his name put on the certificate just so she can use his last name....

The school will list her, and call her, by the name on the birth certificate. There are some instances where a child is named...John Doe...but wants to be called Bubba. They may or may not use the nickname but for all main purposes, roll call, attendance, awards, etc...they would use John Doe. So whatever her legal name is that is what the school will use.

**************************
I had to read his name a couple of times because I thought you said it was McCreepy. Seriously I thought you were making a Gray's anatomy joke. I see where your thinking is going. I understand why you would consider changing it but if it's not McCreery on the birth certificate I would let it drop. If it is her legal name then it's her name and she'll have to deal with it her whole life until she gets married and chooses to take on that persons name or not.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I know you've already posted your "so what happened" but I wanted to throw this out there too. I work at an elementary school and see all sorts of names. There is a little boy in K who is named Tristen, he goes by Kole and Kole is not his middle name. He told his teacher he doesn't like the name Tristen and likes Kole better and his mom gave permission for him to be called Kole while he is at school. I guess the point of this is just to say let her decide (to some degree). Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Orlando on

I know I am late but I just want to say that I went through my whole childhood as Kimmie Kinney and I turned out just fine. :) The only thing that ever really annoyed me is when people asked if my middle name started with K (so initials would be KKK) it doesn't.

I got married at 21, but I was fine with my same initails, rhyming name for all that time. Though after about 2nd grade I switched to K., but from the day I met my husband he has called me Kimmie, and though we have been married for years a Kimmie Kinney will slip out every now and then. :)

She will be just fine.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think her name is nice. My friend's first name is Jeane Marie but just goes by Jeanne. My son is in 4th grade now but since Kindergarten he's been in a class with many kids whose parents are from other countries and they have names that are very different and hard to pronounce yet none of the other kids make fun of them or give them bad nick names. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

C.H.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry just now seeing this.... my Grandmother's name is Mary Ellen and til this day she goes by Mary Ellen! Beautiful name!!!

S.H.

answers from San Diego on

Oh Carrie,

Some day, your sweet daughter will be teased - whether for her name or some such other nonsense children find to tease about. You cannot protect her from everything (as much as our motherly instinct wants to) and if the worst thing that happens is that she gets teased for her name, she will be a lucky girl. It will build some tough skin on her and will offer you lots of opportunity to give great parenting advice about name calling, etc.

Her name is beautiful, don't change a thing, don't worry her about it and you try to let it go too. My son's name is a classic Irish name (Kieran) and I KNOW he will be teased by his name being that it's so close to Karen. I am not looking forward to the day when that happens, but I know it is bound to happen. How he and we deal with it will be life lessons. If he decides at some point, he would rather go by his middle name, then I will (sadly) agree, but it will be his decision.

Best,
S.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Let her be called what she likes, it is her name! If you try to change her name to avoid teasing, they will just find some other reason to tease, because that is what kids do. I think we have all been teased about something! At this point I would not try to change her name.

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