Seeking Help - Euless,TX

It depends where you live.. State laws are different.. .Have you tried counseling???? I highly recommend getting some free counseling to see what you can agree on before anyone moves anywhere.

J.

You have options here so don't panic. Contact the Houston Lawyer Referral Service, ###-###-####, Lone Star Legal Aid, ###-###-####, or Houston Volunteer Lawyer Service, ###-###-####. These are people that can help you for little or no money. You need to get this done quickly so that he doesn't have the jump on you and file for custody himself, which it sounds like he could do. Keep you faith and everything will work out fine.

If there have been no divorce proceedings filed, you can move to NY or you could in times past.......it is just considered a vacation........you also need to file first to have primary custody of the baby.........I am so sorry you are having to deal with this......many years ago I left my spouse .........I took the kids with me - 2 mo and 16 mo......they are now 14 and 15......it can be done......good luck to you.....

He knew you were going to be out for maternity leave. He
new he was it for the finances for that time frame plus
2 weeks till your first paycheck. His being pissed is an
excuse for dipping into his secret stash, or the stash he
has with the other woman. He thought things were going to
magically perfect, that being married with a child on the
way would make it easier on him. After all, you do not
know if he is all work while traveling. You buying
necessities for the new baby pissed him off? Did he think
all would be provided by everyone else? You paid a few
bills too. He is pissed? Let him pay the bills. What
did he want? You to just turn over your paycheck and he
would spend it how we wants? I bet that would not have
done anything for the household bills or the new baby.
He is pissed? You have health insurance...he as the
husband and father is to pay half of that.
He is being cruel and mean to you. You are dealing with
a brand new baby and the hormones going with the change.
Instead of being the loving father he is being an abusive
parent by neglect to say the least. Wanting a divorce
says he did not love you, he wanted sex whenever he
wanted and did not think to put a condom on to not
have a child. Unless he thought getting you pregnant would
make you his slave. He is being cruel. That is uncalled
for period, let alone to a new child and the one he
said he loved to marry.

Names for attornies have been given call them. The one
you mentioned saying about leaving the state is not
the one to call. If no divorce papers have been filed,
and he is more than likely not filing just yet since
he is saying he is coming off as no money...call your
family now. They can get you leads for work and housing.
And pay for the airfare. Also have them get a lead on a
lawyer. Get your own account and get your money going to it. I bet your ex to be will be out traveling in
a day or 2 after being really pissed and you can pack
and leave. Just take clothes and baby things...your family
will bend over for you.
The minute your in NY, file for divorce and for child
support. How long are his trips? Even 1 day would have
him to late. I don't know how to find out if he has filed
because unless he hands it to you, it takes a few days
for it to be served. You will have to go on the fact
he is pissed and is wrapped in money. I take that to mean
he has not filed as he is thinking you will or the divorce
he brought up will be forgot till he can hit you with it.
Beware if his mood changed to loving and caring.

In regards to Angie P: The man does not come off as a
loving or caring man. He was pissed she bought baby
clothes. If K. S was acting mean and pissed like
him, she would not be after the welfare of the child,
she would be after controlling things. This man comes
off as only after money. After controlling her like a
slave. He was pissed she was out on maternity leave.
Try this: your man was out of work for 7 weeks because
of a surgery. Yes things a tight, are you pissed because
he bought medicine or bandages to change the dressing?
Both a necessity. Are you pissed because he paid a
couple of bills with what was left? He paid for necessities
for his healing surgery site and paid on bills.

This man does not deserve the title of Father.
A woman doing what he does, does not deserve to be
called Mother.

This child comes first. Is he a caring man, will he
be there for all this child's needs? And that means
money for clothes, food diapers. Right now, I say
no. I also see no dr in her future because he has
no medical insurance, makes to much for welfare, and
will not pay for her to see a dr.

I am going to stop now.
Regardless if you move out of state or across town.
Get your daughter out of there before she learns
that men are cruel and is not loved by a father
unconditionally. Get out of ther before she learns
that women will put up with that treatment and
end up in an abusive relationship.

How would you feel if your husband took your child and moved halfway across the country? I would reccomend giving some thought to moving your child away from her Daddy. It's a pretty cruel thing to do.

Sorry I know that's not popular, but really think about it.

You have to get a lawyer ASAP. Your husband is going to start hiding money that is 1/2 yours especially if your name is not on the account. Please go get a very aggressive lawyer today. You have to take care of yourself and your baby.

You're in a diffacult situation, and with a new baby, its even more so. You should definitely lawyer up, especially if he has one. I know there are lawyers out there who do pro-bono work (I believe thats the term for free?), b/c my uncle is one (corporate lawyer though). However, I feel for your husband when you say you're wanting to move your baby away from him. My husband and I never fought until we had children. Then we had to learn to work together and not against each other. We have our hormones to deal with, but the father has many worries on his mind too. Mostly regarding money. College, an extra person to feed and clothe and all the other things he will need to provide. Plus, today you hear about these women who are post partum and killing their kids. Just after my first child, I cried a lot. Just out of being scared, frustrated, tired, hormonal. Anytime this happened my husband was a little concerned to leave for work. He was leaving his new precious little girl with me and was I capable??? Then there's the lack of attention they get after the child is born. I'm sure thats a downer for them on top of everything too. We all know what we go through, so I'm just trying to drum up a little concern for his feelings. It may be worth talking to him about what he's going through at this time. Then, you can let him know that you have concerns too. And you can go into those and maybe get a little sympathy from him.

Bottom line, you both need to do what is best for your child. Having a father is important for a girl's self esteem. She will look for things in boys that she doesn't get from a father. If she's not able to have her father in her life, she will always need a boy or man to fill that void.

K.,
I'm so sorry to hear that your situation is not improving with your husband.

If you are close with anyone in your family, ask them for help in getting a local attorney that represents you.
Or, contact law schools such as SMU (in Dallas) or Texas Wesleyan (in Fort Worth) regarding pro bono (i.e. "free") legal help. These schools often have judges and practicing attorneys for family law professors and should be able to give you a better understanding of your rights. Be sure to tell the attorney or professor whether your husband has been violent (or seems violent) because the safety of your baby and the best living environment for the baby is what courts are mainly consider in the "best interests of the child." Good luck and God Bless You.

Anything you acquired as a married couple is half yours. He must have someone else. WE never believe that. I am so sorry. My customer has just gotten a divorce and her mother in law controls every thing. She now can never go back and change that divorce. She also can not leave the state until the kids are 18 yrs old. This is so wrong. I think(my opinion) men who are not men and want to do this to someone they got pg and were so called in love looks like he did not make that committement. Should have to pay through the nose and never see their child again. But now this is messy. Today we have to have civil communication for the better of the children. I could not even look at my ex during those years. I was so hurt and mad. No amount oc counceling could erase that pain. You need your family. Get checking accounts in your name and instead of paying bils stash it away. Let him worry about the bills. Do not use attorneys Zeller in Denton, or Dale Burrows. They did not do me well. Also I went to attorneys for financial advice and they were upstairs of the UCB and I almost lost $80K over signing off on stocks they told me was ok. I then went to another instutie that said wait a min and saved me the 80K. Half of his 401K, Have to do a quadro. I can give you someone who did it well for me. Others will charge a arm and leg. I never realized there was a separate retirement and lost it all over wording from the divorce and it was to late to get it. Now I struggle and he lives wealthy in now Russia. I think the worse pain is when someone else takes your place in his life and he seems to be haopy and you have responsiblities. But blessing are you still have love from your baby and family. Bill Clifton did my quardro and phone for that time was ###-###-####. Have his 401K separated into a rolled over IRA account in your name. It will take time and mine did not happen until after the divorce. Got to go G. W

Here is what I know. My sister just recently got divorced here in Texas. Her attorney told her that she can move out of state if she wants as long as she did it before anything was filed. He also told her that as soon as she got to Oklahoma (which is were she was moving) that she must get settled and file with the courts there asap. This way her ex could not try to file in Texas and make her commute down here for the court hearings. So if I was you I would go home to NY with your family and file immediately. If you need help packing things up while he is away I'm sure many of use moms would be willing to help. Let me know what you decide and I will try to help out.

You are entitled to half of everything, including accounts that don't have your name on them. You are also entitled to half of his retirement that he has accumulated up until now, you won't get the retirement though until he retires. I know this because when my dad divorced my mom she found out through her lawyer that he had several accounts that she didn't even know he had.

My friend was in a similar situation and her lawyer advised her to move back to Nebraska and start a life there (get a job, put the boys in school etc...) as quickly as possible. She had to sneak out, but once she got back with her family she got a job right away and when the divorce proceedings started her lawyer was able to say that she was already settled in Nebraska and couln't be asked to move back to TX. Plenty of parents have shared custody over the span of the country. My advice to you would be that if you don't think you can stay here on your own and you don't have court order ruling you to stay then go soon and get a job asap. Then let the lawyers deal with your husband. Good luck!

You get half of every thing except his inheritance. If he has kept it separate. If he has commingled the funds, Well good for you.

You need to call Barbara Nunnley, one of the best family attorneys in Tarrant County. ###-###-####, she is NOT cheap, but one of the BEST!

P.

First, hire an attorney -and make sure it is a good one. Rita Boyd and Jim Cobb are good family attorneys. If it is truly over -then file for divorce. Request a mediation and they will sit with both you and your husband and decide what is fair division of property by law. If your husband travels a lot he is not likely to get full custody of your daughter. He will also have to pay child support. If you truly want to move to New York then you will need an attorney to fight for the right to move there. The judge is going to go by what is best for the child. Normally, that means keeping both parents involved in her life - so moving to New York may be an issue. If your husband travels a lot anyway, that may make things a little easier. Don't let your husband call all the shots. Get a good attorney in your corner!!

It could be that there really IS no money for extras right now, especially if you just came off of maternity leave. I know when I was on maternity leave, it would have taken us a couple of months to recover financially from not getting a full paycheck if we hadn't saved up for it beforehand.

He may be a controlling person, but honestly, the law works the way it does to prevent one parent from moving a child several thousand miles away. If the reverse were happening, wouldn't you want come control over HIM moving the child several thousand miles away from you? Wouldn't you want veto power over a decision like that?

My best advice to you is to keep working, gather all the resources you can, and try to work out an agreement that won't involve a massive legal fight; otherwise, it will suck whatever money the both of you have and then there will nothing for either of you.

As far as his savings account goes, you are entitled to half of whatever is in his accounts, regardless if your name is on it or not. In that same sense, he's also entitled to be a parent half the time and if you move several thousand miles away from him with your daughter, then how can that happen?

If he's really a jerk and is driven by money, then try to buy him off. Offer to NOT take half of whatever is in the accounts IF and ONLY IF he lets you move to NY. Offer to take only what is necessary to move you and your daughter and nothing else. If he's not a jerk, he won't agree to that b/c he'll know his child is more important than money, but since I don't know which category your husband falls into, it's worth a shot.

There's few things worse than divorce with kiddos and since you're dealing with a newborn, you have a very long, hard 18 years ahead of you. Good luck!!

K.,

I'm sorry for your troubles. I know an attorney who specializes in family law. She is excellent. She is a friend of the family and she can help you in your time of need. Her name is Mary McKnight in downtown Dallas. ###-###-####.

Good Luck.

E. L

first off... where do you live? if you live near waco find the number for "legal aid". it is a legal firm (located on austin ave in the "lloyds building") that is based on your income. the smaller it is the better off you are because you won't have to pay. and to the best of my knowledge you don't have to have his permission to leave the state with your baby. you are entitled to HALF OF EVERYTHING (unless you signed a prenuptial agreement). best of luck to you. T.

I have never used this firm, but I hear them advertised on a local radio station all the time - Michael Rubin is a Divorce Attorney - 1-800-THE-DOGS.
Good luck. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but you sound like a strong, smart woman. Stick to your guns and fight!

Huge Blessings to you and your baby girl. May God clear a gentle path for you to get back home.

Texas is a community property state. EVERYTHING unless previous documented by prenup is community. If he has $$ in an account with only his name, any $$ that has been put into that account while you have been married is community. Anything put into it before is his. If he has earned interest on any investments, it's community. If you have a mortgage in both names, the equity is community, good luck selling right now. You will need his consent to leave the county in which you presently reside. However, under the circumstances, a judge may waive that. Does he travel anywhere in the northeast? If he does, couldn't he swing by and see her? Get an attorney on retainer asap or call legal aid. I don't want to scare you, but these are the jokers who will try to start to hide assest, etc. when all you want to do is do what's best for your daughter. When the divorce is final or possibly in the temporary orders, it will state that HE will provide her health insurance and the two of you will split any uncovered medical expenses. You might try to approach the NY move from the aspect that you will have so much more help in NY, financially, from your family that you would not require as much financial assistance from him, just child support. Take charge! You can do this! Good Luck!

K....take Clifton's advice with all the phone numbers and agencies regarding legal help. Your comments sound as though you are not in a loving relationship and with time will become worse. I'm wondering why he has a savings account if your finances are so critical...in other words, how is he saving? Now, if this account was his separate account BEFORE you married or an inheritance, then the account cannot be split should a divorce occur (ie, not considered community property). If he continued to put money into this account AFTER you married or after an inheritance, then those deposits plus interest earned is considered community property and can be shared (he will have to provide proof of the funds in the account before and after marriage or an inheritance). A good attorney can work out the distance problem.

This is Texas you get half. It doesn't matter if your nmame is on the account. There are ways he could keep the money from you, but he would have had to planned it for a long time. If he ever withdreww 10 cents to pay a joint bill the money becomes joint. Many attorneys will sue the soon to be ex husband for there fees. Worst case almost every attorney will see you for a free one time consultaion.

Make some calls.

Oh, my. My heart cries for you. Yuck. I know about the saving s account, and ANYTHING that has been bought while you two have been married, is community property, which means that half is yours, half is his. period. the only exception is if he inherited the money. Inheritances and things bought before marriage are not commnunity property. If he had a vehicle he got before you were married and is still paying on it or was when you got married, then it would be considered community property becuase it was paid for while you were married. I dont know which city you live in, but you could go to the courthouse and find out about legal aid, which is where if you are eligible then they help you pay for your attorney. Honestly if I were in your situation, this might not be good advice, but if i really wanted out, I would just leave to New York with the baby. There technically is not anything saying that you cannot take her away from the state, he woudl have to go to the court, get the paperwork filed, have you served (if it could get to you, if he knew what address you are at) in New York and then go through he hearing and see what the judge even decides. I have no idea at that point what they would decide, they could decide then that you would have to keep the baby here or they could decide that you could take the baby there. If your hubby travels all the time, i cant see them giving her to him full time. I don't know if leaving would end up hurting you when it came time for court, (I don't see how it could legally) but if I felt the way it sounds like you feel, I would probably just leave. Now I know that may not be the smartest solution, but I probably would.

You really do need to actually retain a lawyer. I mean if you are getting a divorce, then you need to be prepared so you do not get screwed. Do not let him call the shots. It is your life, but you are being very responsible trying to be calm about it all. Good luck with everything