About to Be a Single parent...help.

As some of the other posts have stated, you need an attorney. I've seen this happen to many people I know. If you he really wants to "take care" of you and his daughter, he wouldn't want a divorce. Believe me, he will not pay for anything once he's gone.

You are entitled to that $20000 just like he is. Split it. What made him decide he should have to pay off his car(yeah right) with the money? You're going to have the baby. If anything, you need all of the money.

Just because you're a SAHM doesn't mean you are not entitled to any money. You work @ home taking care of his daughter, cooking, cleaning, and many other things.

Get an attorney NOW ! and take 1/2 of that savings out of the account and put it in an account with someone else as the main account hold ( someone you trust .. parent, sister, etc) and put you as 2nd. That way he has no claim to it at all.

Like others have said there are lots of programs for single moms. Grants for school,etc....

Good Luck!

You owe it to your daughter to get an attorney. Call north Texas Legal Services and find out how to apply for assistance. You can get a free attorney. You should get half your savings and he should have to pay child support. You really can't count on the child support because many men find many ways not to pay it, so you surely do not want to give up the $10,000 in cash! Definitely go to the school financial aid office and see what help you can get.

They are legal agreements for people that are separated. This should be the best course. If you're in Texas, everything owned (possessions, cars, savings, retirement, debts) is half his, half yours until further negotiated unless it was separate property (owned before marriage or a gift that wasn't mingled into something you both work or pay for upkeep.) You can have a free consultation with an family law attorney to get an idea of where hte law stands for you and your child and see if he has to pay your attorney fees too. Some attorneys are into negotiations that seem more fair to both sides. (I know a female lawyer who represented me on another issue who's mission is to help people who are being taken advantage of by their spouse and can't afford high legal rates. She is a jewel, smart, and graduated years ago from SMU. Follow this link: http://www.mhgalindolaw.com/attorneyprofile.html

I would seek legal help. Just from friends that went through this you can get 1/2 of the savings at least. An attorney can help you get what you deserve. I personally don't know of a good attorney but you can call around and get a pro bono sometimes. For you to go to school and getting assistance is a possible thing. Through Texas Workforce there is CCS and it will pay for the majority of daycare even if Dad does pay child support. Good luck and God Bless.

Get a lawyer.
Take out half of savings and put it in your name alone. I'm assuming it's a joint account.

Once he is out, you should qualify for HUD housing, Pell grants, and subsidized stafford loans to finish school. Ex husbands very rarely keep their word out of honor.

S.

Get an attorney!!!!!!!!!!! Period!!!! Don't assume he will be fair or anything else or keep his word later when it is to difficult for him to pay. As for the money in the bank, half is yours. As a matter of fact anything you acquired during your marriage is half yours. Whether it is in his name or not. Either way don't be naive and think that he will stick to his word. He didn't about staying married!!! What if he changes his mind about paying spousal support. At least get whatever agreement you two have reviewed by an attorney to make sure your interests are protected and that the contract is leagla at the very least. The only one that is going to get screwed by the atty is going to be your hubby. Because he probably already knows he will be paying through the nose and wants to get away with giving you as little money as possible.
No matter what you do.....Get an attorney. Ask around and get a decent one that will make sure you get what you need.
Good luck,
L.

call several attorneys...most will give you free advice over the phone..you should be able to ask an attorney over the phone if a notarized agreement would stand up in court although i can tell you from experience that the notarizing will only be good for 2 years (as far as i knew from several years ago) maybe things have changed? So if you think he will settle it before then or be willing to sign a new one after two years, I would consult an attorney. One thing about men are, when it comes to money, they arent stupid. i have seen it so many times where they will seem very amicable at first (in their best interest of course), only to break these "agreement" the minute it gets convenient to do so. I know you would like to believe he would never do that to you, but he may see things very different now. THere is also lots of free legal advice on the web. look up free divorce advice for wives or women. If you do choose to write your own agreement, you can find one on legal.com. they have free legal documents that you can just download and print..now thats the advice i would give to someone without children, the fact that you have children puts you at a very high risk of getting "screwed". the attorneys will not screw him, they will simply protect you from being screwed. there is also financial assistance for single parents available. get a lawyer or at least talk to one. dont let your ex to be convince you that your doing yourself a favor by not consulting one. that's crazy! your only doing him a favor by doing that!

I think you've already got some good advice. I also wanted to share this article about resources and how to find support as a single mom:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/861171/how_to_fi...

Be sure to read the part about soc services - call 211 if you need to.

Get an attorney. With a child involved, you absolutely have to cover yourself. The only people who divorce w/o an attorney, IMO, should be those with NO kids and NO assets! Why should he keep all your savings? Please, at least consult an attorney, even if you don't use them the whole way through.

get an attorney NOW or YOU and your daughter will get screwed.

Get an attorney and take all the money out of savings if you can do it.......in Texas, there is no legal separation but once a divorce is filed there are temporary orders which can include temp spousal support and child support as well as him continuing to pay your college bills. Once the divorce is final you should qualify for a lot of financial help to finish and DO NOT count on the child support for your basic needs as sadly, the statistics are that most do not regularly pay and many stop altogether. As to your daughter, until you get temp custody in place he can take and keep her legally....that right there is what got me moving 15 years ago......{{{{{hugs}}}} - take care.......

My suggestion would be to get it in writing in front of a notary. Hope things work out.

Girl you better wise up and get an attorney - ahora! And take half of the money out of savings PLEASE! Dont let this man take you for all you have that would be a sad sad story. If you bought the car while you are married - isnt that community property??? GET AN ATTORNEY! GET AN ATTORNEY!! GET AN ATTORNEY!! Have faith in yourself and what you are capable of. God didnt give us a spirit of fear so dont allow this man to scare you into something that would not be beneficial to both you and your beautiful daughter.

I don't know the law in TX and fortunately my marriage is still working at 20+ years.

My suggestion is to get legal advice. You have to take care of you and your child.

A "red flag" goes up for me when you say he does not want you to get an attorney. That comment means, in my opinion, that he is afraid HE will get screwed...........not you.

Get something in writing from an attorney.

Best wishes.

Trish,

Go to your college and apply for an emergency loan. After that, for spring, you can do a "special circumstance form" and get more money for spring and way more for next fall. Being single and no job, you should get money towards daycare costs, and likely pell grants, etc. The rest, just take loans. Loans can be paid back over a long period of time and the degree will allow you to make money. There is no reason to make that aggreement with your ex. I WOULD get a lawyer and get everything you can. It's not malicious...it's for you and your little girl's future. Hope that helps!

Do you have a lawyer? If not get one. Get everything in writing and do some of your own writing. Try to get what you want and need and never mind him.

I would definitely seek legal counsel. If you don't, there is a good chance you will not get what is fair for you. They will also help with any custody issues that come up.

Get an attorney, NOW! Take half of that money out of savings TODAY! Once he takes it there is NOTHING you can do as long as you are still married.

Don't take all of it, that is not fair either. He will NOT keep his word! Believe it! My ex promised all those things too. But once he was out of the house, he took all the money out of both of our accounts, changed the locks on our business, turned off my credit cards, refused to sign insurance papers so I could make a legitimate claim and stopped giving us ANY support.

He told me he would help me start my business and get going-NOT! He told me he would never leave us with only the Texas max of $1,500 a month child support for two kids. NOT! Not only did he do that, but he fought to never give us anything but child support EVER! He also fought to make it mandatory that if I ever get married or live with a man he has to pay nothing. AND he stopped paying ANY spousal support 3 months after he left....during the temporary orders period...nothing! He tried to claim I was turning his kids against him so he should not have to give us anything. PLEASE!!!

All the while while he was not seeing them, leaving us for his girlfriend, and making it impossible for his kids to have even remotely the same life. Once they are in someone else's pants they are NOT your friend. I believed he would never do any of the horrible things I heard from other people. But he did and worse.

Now, a year after the divorce was final, I can not get him to pay his half of the medical bills. I must take him to court to sue for that. Get it ALL in writing or you will not be able to enforce anything.

Believe it, sweet heart. You are your only best friend now, and you must fight to get everything you will need. Be fair, but don't be nice. Your kid will pay for it later if you are too nice. Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, I did not believe it either. I hope he is not a liar like mine ended up being. Good Luck and reach out to your girl friends. They will help you more than you know.

Speaking from experience, you are entitled to half of everything, possibly even his retirement. Do not trust him to take care of you and your daughter. You take what is rightfully yours and do what you have to do to provide for your child. Just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean that you should get screwed. That job is just as important as his is/was to the family. I know attorneys are expensive, but worth the piece of mind knowing that you have covered your bases. He may say that he will help you, but believe me, once he is out on his own he will most likely not honor that promise. He was not able to honor his marriage vows, so I would not trust his word. I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but there is something better for you around the corner. Wishing you all the best!