Seeking Help Getting My 6 Month Old Son to Sleep in His Crib

ok, start to ween him off and get on a good formula, but the key is from about 5 pm to 10 pm keep him awake, play time, bath time, and then feed him well at 10 pm, I always used a feeder at bedtime with warm formula and cereal to fill his tummy, then he will sleep until early morning, you will find he will then sleep longer in a deeper sleep. I have two girls, that are now 16 and 13. Good luck!

To break his habit of waking up in the middle of the night: offer him a bottle of water. You can be sweet and cuddly, but water is not worth waking up for. It will probably only take a few days for him to decide to stay asleep.

I am a single Mom of 6 children.

First, congrats for breastfeeding to 6 months. You've done a wonderful thing for your child. Second, please don' feel that you started a bad habit by co-sleeping with your son. We're biologically programmed to sleep close to our babies, and it makes the most sense when feeding frequently through the night (and can be done very safely when proper precautions are taken).

One thought, though. It may be pretty tough on your LO to go throught both weaning and separation from mom during the night simultaneously. You might consider working on one project at a time. I would encourage you to nurse him for at least another 6 months or so, though I don't know your circumstances.

My suggestion for sleep is to nurse him until he's good and sleepy, lay him in the bed before he's soundly asleep and pat/sing/rub his back until he's asleep. Eventually, he will learn how to go back to sleep on his own. In my opinion, some babies are too young to do this and there is often a lot of crying involved, of which I don't support. If he wakes and cries, you are probably better of just nursing him back to sleep.

This gets better. I am finally seeing some improvement in this issue in my 11 month old. She continues to nurse frequently and has slept through the night for the first time last weekend and is having less wakings during her naptimes. I know it's tough and incredibly frustrating. But it will pass, I promise! Best wishes to you!

Edited to Add: I'm surprised that some responses mention crying it out as "not hurting" the baby. Medical science says otherwise! If you have a moment, here's a wonderful article that I ran across last evening. It addresses baby's cortisol levels being elevated in response to their stress when left to cry it out, and also address co-sleeping.
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connec...

Put something of yours (that has your body scent on it) in the crib with him. That should help him to stay asleep because he will smell "you".

Hi S.,
Not sure if you stay at home during the day or not, but one thing I would recommend doing that helped with my 9 month old is placing your baby in his crib periodically during the day when he is awake so he can start getting used to being in there. Even if you do not stay home, try it in the evening before bedtime and on weekends. That way he can get used to the feel of the crib and being alone and it will make him more comfortable at night when you are not there. Even if its for short periods of time during the day, turn on the mobile and leave the room to go do a quick chore. He will start to realize that he can entertain himself while he is in there, making it more likely he will start putting himself back to sleep while he is in there at night. Good luck!

We didn't put my son in his crib until he was 6 months either. He was the same, if he was asleep it was fine, until he woke up. So we would just ween him into it. One night he might sleep in his crib 30 minutes, then one night 45 minutes. It took us a long time, but eventually he started sleeping longer and longer until he was in there all night. It probably took us a couple months. When he would wake up, we would just bring him back in there with us. I never let him just cry it out for long periods of time. I would rather him sleep in our room, than none of us sleep. I promise he will start extending the amount of time he sleeps. Hang in there, it will get better.

My oldest would always wake back up when I would go to lay him down in his bed. My mom told me to lay a Readers Digest on his back. It worked pretty well. Seems its supposed to feel like a hand applying light pressure to their back.
Hope this helps you.
D.

I do not think that you started a bad habit. I went through 4 children doing the same thing and even have had 3 of my grandchildren. I know that professionals will tell you not to do that but I say what do they know. I have 4 very children that are very close to me and 3 grandchildren. I would not have it any other way. Now as far as your problem, you will have to start slow and be persistent. Give him a very good meal before bedtime and that should help on the length of sleep, as long as the food is not spicy. I am not sure what you are feeding him but make sure it is a good amount.

S.,

I just want to offer you a word of encouragement. No matter what you decide to do it's going to be difficult. As your little one cries you are going to feel awful, just keep telling yourself it will be ok, because it will. Whatever you decide to do is going to be right for you, your child and your husband. Many Blessings. -Cat B

Where baby sleeps does not correlate to how he is fed! You can decide to move him to a crib in your room or a co-sleeper near you or wherever, but don't think that means you need to wean. American Academy of Pediatrics (and babies, if you could ask them!) recommend breastfeeding for at least a year and as long thereafter as mom and baby want to. Don't give up the connection and the nutrition to "fix" your sleep needs.

A good website to check out is www.kellymom.com she's got lots of evidence based research about parenting topics.

I don't have any magical answer, but just wanted to encourage you to follow your gut and intuition. You know your child better than anyone. Both my kids were very different. I nursed both children for over a year, but my daughter was always good at going to sleep on her own in her crib, and sleeping well at night from 8 weeks. After about a year (and several ear infections), she always required rocking to sleep. My son was polar opposite in the beginning, but I felt more confident following my gut on the sleep situation. I kept his crib in our room until 9 months and he was usually in bed with us after his first waking. It was very clear that putting him to bed with us after his first waking was not working when he'd be wide awake and ready to play, so none of us were sleeping.

I'd also suggest introducing a blanket or some type of lovie. We always gave our son a blanket when he went to sleep and that has been a HUGE help. Since about 11 months old, our bedtime routine stays the same, but he doesn't need the rocking and has never had to cry it out. We give him his blanket after reading, prayers, singing, etc. and he's good to go. We try to save it for bedtime or naps only, but has really been a big help when he's in new situations.

For his night waking, I'd make sure he's not getting too long of a nap during the day, and don't let him sleep after 4 or 5 in the afternoon. Depending on his naps and total sleep, he might need to be put to bed earlier. When he wakes up, gently lie him back down in his crib, hand him his blankie and whisper "night, night." It might take several times, but he'll get the idea that it's not time to play. I always found it common for my kids to wake up very early or during the night during times of large developmental accomplishments. Maybe he's recently started crawling, or is trying to? His mind could be very stimulated from that and it could be keeping him up. That will pass. Also, have you ruled out an ear infection? My daughter always slept through the night unless she had an ear infection.

There is no right formula or time table to do anything. I know I felt a lot of pressure to stop nursing my son, co-sleeping and friends thought I babied him too much and needed to break these habbits, but I kept with the feeling that him being close to me at night was right until I followed his queues that he wasn't comfortable in our bed either. The same went for nursing. I planned on weaning him around a year, but he held on until 15 months, then weaned himself.

Good luck! The first year is the hardest, but enjoy all the special time that he really just wants to be with his mommy. :)

Hi S., my name is T. and I have a 7 month old girl. We are going through the same thing. I rock her to sleep in my arms then I put her down in her crib asleep. That's the only way she will go in. For her naps I put her in her crib and for bed. If she wakes I give her a few minutes and then go in, scratch her head, rub her back and pat her bottom. Once she starts falling asleep I leave the room. Sometimes I sing a song to calm her down. I leave a night light in her room, because if it's dark, she starts screaming. Anyways, every 2-3 days she is sleeping an hour longer then I bring her to bed with me. Two weeks a go, she went from waking and I bring her to bed with me at 12:30 to now it's 6:00. For me it seems to be working; a little more progress each day. Takes a little bit of will power not to run in the moment I hear her wake, because a lot of times she soothes herself back to sleep in just 2 or 3 minutes. Good luck.

I hate to share this with you but my daughter was NEVER happy going into her crib and did not sleep through the night (8-5) until she as 1 year old! We tried bedtime routine, cry it out, going in and comforting her...you name it! It was the longest year of my life!!! The thing that changed our world was that she turned one and could have a stuffed animal in with her. I gave her a really cuddly, soft lamb. It is half her size and she can really hang on to it. Now she can't wait to get into her crib (I am serious...finishes her bottle, pushes me away and pints to her crib) to cuddle with "lamby lou" and when she wakes in the night she searches for the lamb, hugs it and goes right back to sleep. She also has a binky (which is yet ANOTHER habit we have to work on breaking now...NOT looking forward to that) So, anyway, if you are still having trouble when your son is old enough for a lovey try it. It saved my life!

We did the same thing with our first. Sleep with me and in the bassinet to help with the getting up part. But when weaned it was hard for him to adjust. I put him in it for naps to start with. Then at night, but would go to comfort him. He got used to me comforting him and when I would stop patting, he would wake up and fuss. So, eventually I had to let him cry it out. Or I would be asleep sitting in the rocker next to the bed patting off and on all night. Well, that obviously had to stop. So we let him cry it out. Or course, I cried in the hallway where he couldn't see. With my hubby patting me. With the second child, we did the whole breast feeding thing, bassinet at night, crib for naps, and about 6 months at weaning, into the crib. I would get up nurse or feed and put him back into it after a quick rock,pat pat, then walk out. It was the best thing I ever did. With the third, we did the same. It worked alot better that way. But they are so cute and sweet, you just want them with you all the time, but none of us ever realize what it does to them and you to start such a bad habit. Start with naps so he can see the crib and get used to it during the day, then it won't be so strange and frightful at night. I am not above giving them benadryl until you get a new habit established. That will make him sleepy and get over a few humps. Especially at 12:30 for him to go back to sleep. It takes a while for the new habits to become routine. So stick with it.
Good luck,
L.

Setting up a regular schedule for him if you don't have one already really worked for me. I followed the advice in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It was hard for a couple of days (had to let him cry it out), but I am so thankful that I stuck it out. I can put my son in bed while still awake (after following a consistent nap/bedtime routine...diaper change and Goodnight Moon) and he will play and chatter for a while and then drift off to sleep. He sleeps for 12 hours and has since he was about 5 months old because I started this routine. Good luck!

S.,

Keeping your baby near, particularly when they are so young is not a "bad" habit. It is a good habit, and one that creates confident, well-adjusted kids. Continued breatfeeding does the same thing. You can get lots more scientific information on this from www.mothering.com as well as www.askdrsears.com. As you have stated, many parents find they actually get more sleep doing this.

Don't assume you will get a better nights sleep once you wean and move your child to his own crib down the hall. Many a bleary-eyed parent spends countless nighttime hours trying to fight the child's natural instincts to be near his /her parents at night. Sure, there are the baby training experts with all sorts of opinions, but in the trenches, many a parent will tell you that it doesn't work for many kids. Careful about "cry-it-out". It doesn't teach the child to be "independent", as you will hear the story go. Rather, it teaches them that "when I cry, no one cares and no one comes." You can find verification for this from the Love and Logic parenting material as well. www.loveandlogic.com

It all depends on what kind of child you have!
Good luck.

Hi S.,

Been there.....done that.
What I did was put my nightie or tee shirt that I had worn beside him. They can smell you on the clothing and feel that you are near.
It may take a few tries but keep it up ....you'll get there.
Also you might cozy him up to a blanket or teddie bear so he will feel something close.
You might sleep with his stuffed animal for a few nights
( snuggle up to it so your scent will be on it )then put it close to him. I hope this helps.
Good Luck

I know how you feel... my 8 month old was the best little sleeper ever..until she learned to pull up in her crib! I too kept her in bed with me to nurse...was just easier. But now getting her to sleep in the crib is out of the question.
We have been trying to get her to sleep in her pack and play in our room. When she wakes up, she knows where she's at, but I have more room in the bed. It doesnt' always work though. She is a cuddler and if she can't "pet" someone warm while she's sleeping, she doesn't stay alseep long.

I know I found some good advice in the "Baby Whisperer Answers all your questions" book. I have used a couple techniques, but our lives have been fairly unstructured lately, so its time to start again.

Good luck and if you find something that works like a charm, let me know!!

S.,

You're a trooper! Do what works best for you, but here are my 2 cents, being a first-time mom with a 4-month-old. We struggled with this for a little bit.

I, too, would think that you might try getting her to sleep in her crib before you begin to wean her.

What worked was making sure my daughter was awake for most of the day and received plenty to eat during the day. She is a breastfed baby, though she takes a bottle of breastmilk at day care. At this point, she is still eating every 2 to 2 1/2 hours. I don't yet know how that will change once we start adding solids. At the breast, she eats about 10 min. each side. From a bottle, she drinks up to about 4 ounces, so far.

At night, if your house tends to be cold, you could try putting a heating pad in the crib for a few minutes. At first, my baby would fall asleep in my arms and then wake up again once I laid her down. The heated bed allowed her to still feel warmth like she felt next to me.

Secondly, we would let her cry for a few minutes before going in to comfort her. You could start by letting your baby cry for about five minutes, then trying to sooth him without picking him up for a few minutes. Your baby should be well-adapted to breastfeeding, so if you wanted to try a pacifier that might help. Gradually, you can increase the amount of time to 10 minutes, and then 15 minutes. It's hard at first but keeping working at it and your baby will adapt. It's OK for him to cry a little bit.

My husband and I used those techniques, and they worked well, so that our baby sleeps pretty well through the night. I'm not sure how that will change at 6 months when she goes through separation anxiety - which might be one reason your baby wakes up - but I will start going back through those steps.

A few other things that might help - a night light, soft music or any other type of white noise.

Good luck, and hopefully, you will get some sleep soon.

Hey there S.,
Don't beat yourself up. With my first i didn the same thing. contrary to popular opinion, it's not going to scar you child fo rlife to sleep with you. It will make things moe difficult though. When my oldest was 4 months is when i started making the transition. I began putting her in there when she was awake during the day. For instance if i was putting laundry away in there i would set her in the crib with a couple of toys while i was in there. expose him to it for just a few pleasurable moments at a time. Then begin putting him in there for naps during the day. You mentioned that he wakes up when you lay him down? I would advise you to teach him to fall asleep on his own while you start teaching him to sleep in the crib, too. You can do this by holding him until he is almost asleep, then go place him in his bed and stand there beside him and rub his back or whatever he likes until he's out. Be sure all of his little needs are met BEOFRE you lay him down and do NOT pick him up after you put him in his bed. He will more than likely cry a little,but stay stong. My oldest is now 3 and she has been sleeping in her own benall night long since she was 5 months. The trainng process is wearisome, so try to get your husband involved. Another thing since he's used to sleeping with you he is also used to your night time noises, like you both breathing or snoring or whatever. You might want to consider getting a cd player for his room and playing white noise. I played a lullaby cd by Johnson and Johnson inmy daughter's room until she was nearly a year. Just some things to consider. I hope it helps.
E.

There's a book called Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child that I love. It gives great information and advice about sleep and what to expect from kids. You can probably get it from the library and decide to buy it after you love it. It saved me when I had my second and realized she was following in her brother's non-sleeping footprints.

Begin keeping him on a schedule. Try to feed him every 3-4 hours. I started feeding my daughter at 8am, 12 p.m, 4pm and 8pm. Her last meal at 8pm consisted of formula and single grain oatmeal. This filled her up completely and she remained asleep from 8pm till about 7:45 a.m. the next morning. Since you breastfeed it will be a little different. Instead of formula, use a breast pump and include the oatmeal in the bottle.

Hi S.,

Two of my kids slept through at 6 weeks and the other two around 4 months (they were premies and I just couldn't handle letting them cry it out when they were so tiny.) With all of them we just decided that it was time and had three nights of letting them cry it out and then it was over. It wasn't easy, and I didn't get much sleep those three nights, but once it was done, we all slept better.

They can't hurt themselves in the crib, and it doesn't hurt them to cry. Ultimately, it is better for baby to learn to console and comfort themselves to sleep every night. You create a co-dependent relationship when you constantly have to pat or rub your baby to sleep. This can make for a very insecure child later in life (saw this with my niece who is now in college).

Good luck!