Seeking Moms Advice - Manchester,NH

He is just seeking attention, get a babysitter for the baby. make it a Mommy,& Daddy day just for him!!

Hi Julie!
Your 2 year old is seeing the attention that your 10 month old gets when he cries,whines, or crawls around and he is going for the same attention....for your 2 year old it is probably negative attention since he should know better...right?
My advice to you would be to give your 2 year old positive attention when he does what big boys do and helps out with his younger brother. Let him see that he did the things his 10 month old brother can do already and how much more he can do as a "big" brother.
You are at a very hard age on both ends the 2 year old is learning to separate from you a bit, but is still a little hesitant. Your 10 month old is finally mobile and wants to explore EVERYTHING!
Just be patient and hang in there, things will change in a very short time...kids grow up so fast before you know it you will miss these days!
Good Luck!
L. G

Goodmorning Julie
It's normal he want the attention like his brother,try to tell him the baby need attention now and when you done sit either at the table or floor and do a game with him and tell him now it's your time with mom, and where is Dad could play with him too while you are with the baby.
I had 3 kids in diapers and if I woul rock one child the other one would come to me and he wanted me to hold him so I would have one on each lap and rock them and sing song with them.
Good Luck

my son imitates my 8 month daughter, too. Ignore the 'baby' behavior and praise him when he's a 'big boy'. Seems to work for us. We do, however 'play baby' where I stage it so the big boy pretends to be the baby and the real baby tucks him in for a nap. He really enjoys this game. Do like the other posters say and make sure to give him lots of hugs and kisses. :) This too shall pass....or so I've heard.

I have 3 older children now-almost 8, 10 and almost 12-
so all close in age.
At any age- the older one seems to want to be the 'baby' once the new baby comes along.
This happens in some form to everyone. So-suggestions:
work harder at recognizing and giving attention to when the older son does "big boy" stuff. If he sees that the younger one gets attention when he whines and cries and "look he's crawling!"- then he'll want to get attention in this way. This is one common senario. So- take the focus off the "baby" behavior and encourage him to be a big boy- and be sure your giving him attention and special time. Remind him things he can do that the baby can't do.
Also- it may just seem fun for him to play and act in this way-
so- make a game of it- and maybe try it yourself- he may get bored of it-or think it's really silly if you're doing it also.
Treat him like a big boy- make him feel important- but also- remind him that he's your little baby also- and cuddle him and give him that special personal time.
The final- I would suggest the library- all kinds of little books on the baby and the big boy etc.-when the little brother/sister comes along type thing-
I've always found that reading to my kids gives that extra reinforcement about situations- and helps them to understand and accept-
The "Help me be good" series- by Joy Berry- is great for all different situations- lying, whining, fighting, etc. and one of these books may help in this situation- local library I think has some of these books in the children's section.
Hope these suggestions help! J.

Your "big boy" is only two. The younger child gets more attention because he has higher needs, right now. Of course the 2 y.o. wants to be included and sees where the attention is. Try and schedule some 1:1 time for your older son - he still needs lots of cuddling and baby play. He won't imitate your younger son forever, he just sees it's getting a rise out of you and your husband. He's pretty smart to know what to do to get the "oohs" and "ahhs" that his little brother is getting. He'll truly be a "big boy" in a few more years. As the 1:1 time gets more fun, acting "like a baby" will become less attractive to him.

If there is anything that he enjoys as a big boy...some special snack? tell him that only big boys can have it, not babies-this worked for our son

I feel your pain! My four year old is doing the exact same thing, plus he copies me...it is driving me loonie! I assume the only way to let it pass is by ignoring it...not easy I know!!! Good luck, and if you get any good ideas...pass them along to the rest of us.

H. (mom of 4yr, 3yr and 9mth old boys)

That will happen as he is no longer the baby and the centre of attention, this behaviour is the only way he knows to still be your baby boy. One way to encourage and reassure him is to make him apart of all the activies involving the new baby, tell him what a wonderful big brother he is and enlist his help i doing things with and for his baby brother. Make him proud of his role. Spend some alone time with him as well; say like daddy day out with him or mommy, without baby and when gets home ooh baby missed his big brother. He is at the stage where ego is playing a big role. Just nuture them both let them know love both equally, a little jealousy is expected and as a baby himself he doesn't know what he is feeling. My 14 year old is still jealous of her little brother claims he came and took her mother. Hang in there it takes lots of love reassuring and time and paitence. Good luck.

The two year old has noticed that you respond to the baby when
the baby does these things.
Make sure you are giving enough attention to the older one for other
things. Try to ignore the copying behaviour and understand it's a cry for attention.
Good luck.

Hi Julie,
It sounds like your almost 3 year old is seeking the same attention that your 10 month old is getting. We had a similar thing happen. When our younger daughter was born, our older daughter was 2 and a half. In order to steer her away from this behavior, we would intentionally plan activities that were age appropriate for her, and that we knew she would succeed in, and would praise her for the accomplishment. Things such as doing an easy puzzle, or alphabet flashcards, or painting a picture....then saying things like "Look what a big kid you are that you can do that" or "You are growing up so fast!" We also got the book "What Baby Needs" by Dr. Sears and read this often. The last thing we did was say ok if you want to act like a baby we have to treat you like a baby. This means eating mushy foods, no treats, nap twice a day, no TV because babies don't watch tv, etc.... She got the picture pretty quickly.

Once we gave her more attention for doing big kid things and helped her arrive at the conclusion that being a big kid is really a lot more fun than being a baby, she was more willing to drop the imitating. Hang in there! I know it can be very annoying, especially since you are probably not getting as much sleep or "you time" as one needs!
Cheers,
K.

what your son is doing is so normal and i think every parent will tell you really annoying
my son is threee and my daughter is 11 weeks and he whines(something he never did before) and when i ask him if he's a big boy or a baby he says baby
i try to point out things he can do that my daughter can't but most of the time i just let him snuggle with me and tel him he's my big boy and can do things by himself
i also tell him what he used to be liek as a baby and it usually gets him to stop for awhile
unfortunately they'll both me imitating one another for a long time as they get older I still remember my older brother and i imitating one another when we were in school
hang in there and try to see the humor in it

I am a special education teacher and a mother of 2. This is a common problem because your older son sees the attention your younger son gets by communicating in this way (even though the 10-month old has no other way to communicate). Your 2-year old wants the attention the younger one has. It does not matter how much attention you are giving, they always want more, so do not feel guilty, it is just the way it is.

My suggesion is to praise your 2-year old for every single thing he does that you like. Praise him all the time for his "big boy" actions and completely ignore the "baby actions". In no time at all that behavior will most likely stop. Good luck, I know how hard it is to praise when chilren are doing what we expect of them, but it is way more important than pointing out the behaviors we do not want to see.

althou i have just 1 my sister went thru this situation
heres what she did: everytime her oldest by a year would copy the baby she would re direct him to a game or task that the "baby" couldnt do. and praise him for being the "big" brother. also she would let him know that babies can't do whatever it was that he was doing at the time. such as have finger food or color or play diego. If Ethan would persist she would feed him a baby food he wasn't fond of instead of his favorite big boy snack this is what babies have instead of your big boy crackers etc. After a couple of days of this the desire to be the baby diminished good luck lets here how it goes. Hoppy Easter!!!
Oh, coloring eggs is definately for big boys only.

Hi Julie,
Try to ignore him acting that way he is looking for attention because he probably feels your paying too much ateention to the baby. Just treat him like a big boy and he will eventually stop.

Hi! I have 4 children 7, 6, 4 and 10 months. :-)

I would explain that the your 2 year old is the "big boy" and that's why he gets to ".." and the baby needs to "..." still. Maybe you could take time and play a game with just your 2 year old and mention that even though we love "baby" very much and can't wait for him to be able to play this game with us, he is still to little and that this is just for big kids. Make a big deal about him being the big boy in the house! Refer to him as big brother?

I hope this helps!

Sinrely, N.