B.R.
Welcome to my world!! Our 13yo son is autistic with adhd who entered puberty over a year ago. Our school district has decided to introduce conception and exactly how that is acheived the day after the 'puberty talk' in 5th grade. We feel that's way too much info at too young an age especially for kids who have impulse control issues and an inability or difficulty understanding social boundaries/cues, etc. We've taken this part of his education very seriously and answer any and all questions the kids come to us with. My husband reads the books we have regarding puberty with our son instead of leaving him to do it on his own. As much as this was working at first, he's beginning to need more in depth information and we're at a loss as to what the best way to do that is. Through discussions with his pediatrician we have been able to find a counselor who specializes in this. He has training in introducing puberty and all that goes with it to kids on the spectrum. As you know, kids on the spectrum learn differently than 'typical' peers and can't just be lumped in with the rest of them.
Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page as to how and when the information is being introduced. We feel that as parents it's our job, not the school's, to make sure our kids have the best information introduced in the way that goes along with the way we've decided to raise our kids. We make sure we answer any and all questions they have but only volunteer the information they need and not confusing them with too much. Basically, you'll have to talk to your son to find out what he knows and what he's ready to learn at this point. For kids on the spectrum, too much information can be overwhelming, confusing and scary. Start with the basics about the changes he will soon be going through, what they may mean for him and in the meantime try to find someone in your area who might be able to help you navigate these confusing, sometimes difficult times.
Best of luck to you!