Seeking Practical Sleep Training Techniques

Updated on March 28, 2010
J.J. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
7 answers

Hello Mamas,
We have a 2 year old son and expecting our 2nd baby in a little less than 4 weeks. We didn't do a very good job with sleep training our son and while it has gotten better, sleep continues to be a challenge. I really want to do the sleep training with the 2nd baby but not sure how to go about doing that with a toddler in the house. I know there are plenty of books out there and I do intend on checking out a few but my question is really logistically how to do whatever method I choose.

We live in a one story, 2000 sq foot house and the kids bedrooms are not far from each other. There is an open area that separates the rooms but the rooms are close enough where there is a good chance my son will hear the baby crying. Even if the baby sleeps in our room in the pack n play for a few months, I'm still concerned that my son might wake up when the baby cries. So my question is for those that have toddlers and newborns, how did you do sleep training? I'm not so much interested in the mehtod used but how did you minimize the interruption to the toddler especially if you had sleep challenges with the todder? TIA.

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More Answers

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

So without trying to write a novel I can give some pointers as to what has worked really well for me and what the books say. First for the 2 year old I would get a sound machine. It makes the white noise and will block out a baby cry no problem. I have one for both my daughters and it works great! I couldn't live without them. Second with slept training there are a few things you should know. The books say that it's not effective until the baby is at least 4 to 6 months and in my personal experience better around 6 months. Also if your baby is past 6 months the next best window of time is between 12 month to 16 months. These are times they seem to do better with the sleep training. Any earlier than 4 months doesn't work because they are not old enough to remember the training from the night before and fall asleep peacefully on their own. Once you do start it have a bedtime routine so baby knows what comes next. Like bath, book, song and bed. Once you start don't stop. some babies take a few nights to get it down. My first daughter it took about 2 weeks but my second daughter was great. never cried or anything just went to sleep no problem. I hope this info helps.

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S.F.

answers from Dallas on

Two words: box fan. Having this near your 2 yr olds room will block outside noise and may help him to be a better sleeper apart from not being able to hear baby.

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A.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Read Babywise and purchase a noise making machine. We got ours from Bed Bath & Beyond. We leave it set to "waterfall" and put it near our baby's crib.The constant 'white noise' drowns out (somewhat) the loudness of our other kiddos.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

so i am a little passionate about sleep training so I will try to reign myself in. lol. First i would recommend babywise. not only for sleeping but also for general scheduling. I found it very helpful. The only thing i did not do is wake a sleeping baby to keep on schedule unless it had been more than 5 hours since her last feeding. (after 2 weeks that is, you need to wake your baby to feed every 3 hours especially the first few days!).

My daughter was 21 months when my 2nd was born and like you i was worried about dealing with 2 kids in the middle of the night. I don't think it EVER happened. not even once! If it does i doubt it will happen often.
I personally think that one of the first things we as parents are supposed to teach our children is how to fall alseep on their own. This helps babies AND parents get good nights of sleep which makes us better parents and them better babies! babies should have long hours of UNinterupted sleep starting at somewhere around 9 to 12 weeks. (my babies went from 11 pm to 6am in the beginning moving towards 10 hours of night time sleep.)They learn to sooth themselves to sleep if they wake up in the middle of the night never disturbing you. i found that i would wake up at even little groans if they were in my room so i put them in the livingroom or their rooms right away. i would put the kids in their own rooms from the beginning. After 9 weeks wait and see if your baby cries longer than 15 minutes before you go in there. (look at the clock 15 minutes can seem like hours). if it's longer than 15 minutes feed them. if they stop crying they probably weren't really hungry. if they are over 12 weeks waking up in the middle of the night is a habit. they should not need to eat. Every 20 minutes go in and sooth them but don't pick them up. should take maybe 3 days.
i would wrap my girls up really tight in their kidappatamus and put them down AWAKE! most important part. Both of my girls slept through the night from 9 weeks on and we have not have relapses or problems with it ever. And i honestly don't really believe i'm lucky i think we taught them how to sleep. i'm sure it's been a long time since you got a good nights sleep. believe me it is so important for you and baby! i would work hard at it and make it work for your family. Good luck and congrats on the coming number 2! love having 2 kids close together. tons of fun.

J.L.

answers from Dallas on

The thought of a newborn waking my other child in the night was a huge concern for me as well, but I quickly got over it when I realized it didn't happen. I brought home twins when my first was only 18 months old. The thought of 3 of them up on the middle of the night was terrifying. To my amazement, the twins didn't wake each other up even in the same room.
It's amazing what kids can sleep though...just look at how many kids are sleeping next time you go to the mall or amusement park, or somewhere
noisy.

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

I love the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weisbluth - I poke a little fun at it here: http://www.junecleavernirvana.com/2009/07/good-morning/
but have found it invaluable with all three of my kids.

I find that unless your baby is an extremely sensitive one, he/she will learn to sleep through chaos...which is what you want since you have a toddler. Toddler=chaos.

I did find that my older children rarely woke up to baby crying - I think they kinda get used to it...which is also what you want.

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

My son is also 2 and has slept in our bed since birth. We are to the point now where once he falls asleep we move him to his crib, but if he wakes up he is welcome back. Studies say that kids who are welcome in their parents' rooms end up being better adjusted, so we do this with both our boys, aged 2 and 5. If they are acting up they know I will put them in their own room, and the youngest is afraid to be alone so I usually just have to show him his bed and he agrees to lay down. It is so nice to be able to snuggle with them while they fall asleep and I find it helpful sometimes to massage their arms and legs - it helps them fall asleep faster. I wouldn't give this up for the 45 minutes of frustration it used to take to get my other child to sleep. Best of luck.

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