Seeking Sleep Help--other than Cry-it-out & Pantley

Updated on March 11, 2008
C.P. asks from Wolcott, CT
46 answers

I need help getting my 7 1/2 month old to sleep well. He falls asleep on his own for naps (30min. only) and at bedtime, but he still is up every hour or so during the night. I do NOT want to let him cry it out; I'm just against it. I've tried Pantley's book/plan and it hasn't been successful. He is currently getting 2 teeth, but he has never slept so it's not just because of that. Any help is greatly appreciated...I'm exhausted.

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So What Happened?

I'm sooo impressed with all the responses regarding my sleep problem. Thanks! Unfortunately, I've tried most of them--from co-sleeping to allergies. I haven't given up hope (yet!:)) even if I haven't slept 2 straight hours in months. Thanks again for all the great words of comfort...even if the ideas weren't new, I was quite comforted to know I'm not alone in this struggle. :)

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J.J.

answers from New York on

hi C.; this is so hard for you and i really, really relate to it. i went thru a period w my older child where he got up 4-6 times during the night too, and i am insistently against crying it out, as you are. i once let my son cry for 10 minutes and he threw up all over himself. that was that.

i have not had any such problems w my daughter who is now 1, my big guy is nearing 3; but my guy just started sleeping thru the night about 6 months ago, having wound down slowly from so many wakeups to 4, 3, 2.... and here we are. he still will get up once every couple of nights. my daughter is still nursing heavily and gets up about 2xs per night.

i want to really commend you for being against CIO because it is a really torturous process that seems to have gained mainstream traction for a variety of wrong-headed reasons. i will really not be surprised if in 3-5 years a study comes out saying CIO is terrible and all the new baby care books will be reinvented. well, i'll be just as glad. the truth is CIO is tantamount to emotional abuse and is downright dangerous. babies can vomit, choke, and even go into respiratory arrest from excessive crying. i don't say this to convince you, you're already ahead of the game; i say this in case anyone pro-CIO is noticing this post. but overall i really applaud your courage for going with your heart and against the norm.

that said, i myself have very little actual, practical advice on 'what to do,' although if you want to try another method you could look at the Dr. Jay Gordon website. he is very pro-co-sleeping, which he calls 'family bed,' which a lot of people have success with. i think it's a great site and reccommend it.

we didn't do that here because we live in a 1 bedroom apartment and are already in the same room anyway. plus my big kid was never interested in sleeping in bed with us and my little one only wants to when she's sick, so we felt that having them in cribs 3 feet away from us was close enough for everyone.

when i was really at my wits end, i just had to sort of cut myself loose emotionally from being engaged with an idea that my child was going to 'sleep well' in the random, imposed terms with which we are all so familiar; in other words, uninterrupted. it just wasn't going to happen. and the longer i held on to a desire or an insistence that it MUST happen, the more anxious and depressed i became. my exhaustion, during the worst of it, was only due in part to my child waking up all night, the rest of it was due to my crying and self jugement and jealousy of moms of 'good sleepers.'

finally one day i said to myself, Self, i said, here's what's good; this baby loves to GO to bed. by 6-630 he was rubbing his eyes and pulling his clothes off to get into the bathtub. he loved his bath, let his little teeth get brushed, and would lay himself down on his changing mat in the quiet, dark bedroom with the ambient noise machine on (i HIGHLY reccommend these, we use it every night), and close his eyes and allow himself to be diaperedd and pajamaed. then he would crawl up into the nursing chair, have a nice nurse with his blankey, and go to sleep; every night, without fail, no matter what.

i leaned on that and started just doing less at night, taking more time to rest in the evening, watch tv w my husband or go for a walk, and started trying to get to bed earlier. when the wakeups happened, i got out of bed, evaluated the kind of wakeup; stick the paci back in, try a backrub, if that failed, get in the nursey chair, give him 5 minutes, he was back asleep, and it was over, and i could go back to sleep too.

so my point is this; i doubt anything works with a frequent waker except to meet the baby's needs. i think that all the systems are basically a bunch of BS that are just set up to help you pass the time between that stage in your child's life where he wakes up a lot into that next stage where he wakes up less; i think you have to resist the humiliating desire to compare your child to someone else's. i think a lot of people who say CIO works are selfish and abusive and frequently lying anyway.

the baby is in love with you. you are god. try putting him in the bed with you; this can be done very safely, check w your local La Leche League chapter or the Dr Gordon website. meet the baby's needs; if he cries nurse him, kiss him, whatever. don't talk, don't turn on the light, don't make a big deal out of it, just show up for the baby. and get back in bed.

it will pass. it really will. if you don't see it improving NEXT YEAR, try the Weisbluth book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.

good luck and hang in there...
jessics

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A.O.

answers from New York on

I too am against cry it out. Look into Dr. Sears's advice on this. Sometimes there are things in his life that are causing distress. Are you back at work? Could he be stressed about daycare or another daytime activity?

Some babies are just unsettled at night. I know this doesn't console you; my little one is also frequently up at night. But he is telling me he needs something, and I want to go through a list of what could be bothering him to help him out.

Dr. Sears can offer a checklist of different things to try (ie maybe he's allergic to polyester and his sleepers are polyester?), things that I wouldn't have thought of myself.

Perhaps he's eating solids too close to bedtime. My little one sleeps better when we don't feed him right before bed.

And sometimes we are blessed with a high needs baby, who needs extra love and attention at night.

Things will get better for you soon.

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T.L.

answers from New York on

I can totally empathize, my daughter has trouble sleeping also. There is something that is waking him up, is he eating eough during the day? It could be gas, a food allergy, acid reflux.....is he in pain or scared? Maybe night terrors?

Hopefully exploring these avenues will give you your solution...good luck!!

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R.D.

answers from Syracuse on

Okay, your baby sounds just like my second daughter - half hour naps and waking up every hour at night - I truly feel your pain. I know that you said you've tried the Pantley method, but I would really urge you to try it again. Seriously, my daughter was doing the exact same thing, so I know how desparate you are at this point. About the Pantley methods, have you read the whole book? Have you gone back and made sure that you have truly done EVERYTHING on her list, IN ORDER (including writing out the sleep logs)? As she says in one of the later chapters in her book, this is very important to achieve success, and I'll tell you, it can take a while to see results - it takes a bit of time to break bad sleep habits. It took me about three weeks to see changes in my daughters nighttime habits, and at least three weeks to see improvement in the nap times. Also, remember to do what Pantley says about tackling one obstacle at a time - don't try to solve nightime and nap issues at the same time. Work out the nighttime stuff first and when you have success there (which, again, will take awhile), then try to get in longer naps. Also, you can't do this alone - you have to enlist your husband/partner for help. I would never have been able to break her bad sleep habits if it weren't for the help of my husband. I tried the Pantely method for nighttime sleep on my own, only to fail miserably. It wasn't until my husband got involved that we had success. I was a nursing Mom, so my daughter would just cry and cry because she wanted to nurse to sleep, and she knew that I could give her what she wanted, so she would just keep crying in hopes to get it. When my husband held her on the other hand, she knew that obviously HE wasn't going to nurse her, and although she did cry for him, too, eventually (eventually being the key word), we had success. You HAVE to enlist your partner (if you dont' have one, get a good friend or relative to come over and help). Seriously, stick with it, give it some time and it WILL work. Good luck!

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A.A.

answers from Rochester on

Hi,

You are right to not let her "cry it out". My seven year old did not sleep through the night till he was two and a half years old, because I breast fed him whenever he wanted and it was pretty much all the time. I was forced to stop when I became pregnant with my second son. He would wake up and cry because he wanted to be breast fed but I couldn't, I would hold him while he cried himself to sleep. When a baby is crying and no one responds, they learn not to trust you. That is what a so called "good" baby who doesn't cry is. They don't trust you to respond so they give up on you. If you were crying and your husband ignored you how would you feel? Babys need to know that you will always be there for them and that's what the crying is for. I lost a lot of sleep, and I thought I was going to go insane, but I just kept telling myself that this was temporary and one day he will sleep through the night. Eventually he did. I do not regret staying up with him and holding him while he cried all those nights. He trusts me completely and is such a good boy. Now I can't wake him up for school in the morning. He even sleeps through the alarm. :) Good luck. If you don't have it I recommend The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. Its excellent book.

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K.E.

answers from New York on

My daughter would sleep for only 20-30 minutes during naps and would wake up every few hours at night. It turns out that she had reflux disease. Her pediatrician put her on Xantax and Nutramagin, which did not really seem to help. I requested to see a gastroenterologist, where she was put on Prilosec. It was a miracle!! Although she still didn't nap like most babies are supposed to she did seem to have relief and could stay asleep for a bit longer. I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician about this diagnosis. My daughter developed these symptoms (which by the way also included a lot of crying) in her early months.

Also, on a different note, right before my daughter started sleeping through the night (around 7 months) she started to wake up every hour. I would sneak in her room, put the binkie back in her mouth and then sneak out. I would get 20 minutes of sleep and she would be up again. I was beyond exhausted and desperate. I also didn't believe in the cry it out method, but decided to try it out of desperation, but only for night time wakings. Well, to my complete surprise, the first night I tried it she woke up, was up for 20 minutes and then put herself back to sleep. She never cried and I have not had to go back in her room in the middle of the night since then.

Good luck. I was an exhausted and desperate mother once too...it WILL get better.

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C.F.

answers from Albany on

Tracey Hogg uses a pick-up, put-down method that seems to work very well if you're adverse to controlled crying. Her book is caled The Baby Whisperer and it's all explained in there. Just to warn you, it may be quite hard work and you do have to be strong. I think that it's important that you are consistent and keep at it when you pick a strategy to break a habit. You may be even more tired for a week, but it will be worth it in the end. Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Elmira on

Hi C.,
I had problems getting my little guy to sleep for long stretches . To get him back to sleep I would play the music from his crib attachment, while holding him and sway to the music. Other times, I would have to sing to him.I also tried putting him in bed with me and let him fall asleep, I then waited about ten min. or so and then put him back in his crib to sleep. All worked for me at various times. Also are you possibly under any stress. If you & your son have an extra strong bond then he may be feeling your anxiety.I know when I'm stressed my little guy is a "BEAR":) & sometimes has restless nights. It dose get better though, my son is now 16 months and usually sleeps through the night, unless he's sick or teething.

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L.Q.

answers from New York on

Hi
I am struggling with my 4 month old if you get any responses please pass them along!

L.

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A.R.

answers from New York on

Read the Contented Baby. Lots of moms swear by it. It may seem rigid but it works and doesn't involve "crying it out." Its worth a try! good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Albany on

This solution might sound too simple in respect to the other responses, but I had the same problem. I put white noise in the room and it fixed the problem. My 2nd daughter just turned 6 and no longer needs the white noise to sleep...thankfully. As soon as my third baby starting have a hard time sleeping I put a fan in her room for white noise. With her I found if I gave her a bath before bed that helped too. Good luck.

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N.C.

answers from New York on

Co sleeping? I don't know if you do that now, but my baby woke often until I put him in bed with me. He just wants to know I'm there, loves touch and snuggles and sleeps really well that way. I've toyed w/ putting him in a crib and toddler bed (which we have, he's now 14 months) but I just find it 'works' to have in bed with me for now. I'd do what you have to do so that you both sleep well.......I hope this helps! I so wish sleeping didn't have to be SUCH AN ISSUE W/ KIDS!

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L.R.

answers from New York on

i read nearly every sleep book out there and finally had a consultation with Kim West before her book came out. now you can skip the pricey consultation and just buy her book - i htink it's the best! called Good Night, Sleep Tight. it outlines her method in detail and then - and this is key - tells you how to individualize it for your own child. how to break the rules and how to be flexible, etc.
it's the only book i found to tell you what to do if the method doesn't seem to be working.
best of luck.

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R.G.

answers from New York on

Try cutting his naps down to 1 a day so that he is good and tired to stay asleep during the night. Also try adding some rice cereal to his betime bottle to fill him up so he stays satisfied.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

have you tried dr. brazelton's books? i find his advice great. what i learned from them is what you are teaching your baby based on your response to his cries at night. if you go in every time he cries, he learns that crying gets him attention. dr. brazelton(and other quote unquote experts) suggest you need to teach your baby how to manage themselves. maybe try one of those crib aquariums. my daughter learned to turn hers on if she woke up at night and would go right back to sleep. i understand they make them with remotes now, so you could turn it on from the doorway and NOT have to go in. i'd be concerned he is overtired, toom due to interrupted sleep and very short naps, which is not helping him sleep better. my daughter was a beast to get to nap in her crib consistently, but was sleeping 10-11 hours at night by that time and could put herself back to sleep if she woke up. that's the best i can do without crying it out.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

try Gentle Naturals Homeopatic Teething Drops. i found it at Target typically. it is basically chamomile so it is safe to use it babies, but ask your pediatrician if you are concerned. i had twins that did not sleep well and i was up every hour with one of them., i didn't want to let them cry it out either, but after 12+ months of this i was finally desperate enough to do it and i have to say we are all sleeping well. good luck. A.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Try the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I didn't let my child cry it out either!! I would really make sure that the teething is not keeping him up, maybe talk to your dr and ask if it is ok to give some tylenol for the pain or place oral gel before bedtime. If he still gets up, let him try to 5 mins to get him back to sleep by himself, if he is really crying, go in check, talk and sooth, then go out, if he crys let him cry for 3 mins or so, and go back in. Just let him know you are still there, or stay in the room, but don't hold him, just sit by his crib. Get the book, it really helped.

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P.G.

answers from New York on

I had that same problem with my daughter and what worked for me was giving her a bath with Johnson & Johnson Bedtime Bath,and putting cereal in her 11:00pm feeding. She would go right to sleep and sleep through the night. Try it out. It might work for you.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

C. - i read through all the responses and have to tell you that Ive tried all of them myself - none worked. my son is 8 months old this week and still wakes up to nurse every 1-3 hours at night and also takes only 2 or 3 30 minute naps during the day...my pediatrician tells me that some babies just want their mommies more often at night, that they need that security. All of my girlfriends did the cry it out method and it worked for all of them. Im against it as well but think i might try it out at 9 months if his sleep habits dont change. My son needs to sleep more and so do i...good luck..

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S.K.

answers from New York on

My first daughter never slept more than three hours. That was her feeding schedule,and I popped up and fed her on demand and then sang her back to sleep, all day and night. By the time she was ten months old I was finally desperate enough to take my pediatrician's advice to let her cry until she fell asleep on her own, in her crib. This is how it went:

I put her to bed normally, on her regular schedule. When she awoke and started "calling" me, I went to her, told her everything was all right but she had to go to sleep now. Then I closed her door, and went to a different part of the apartment where I monitored her with an intercom (I turned the volume down low.) It was very difficult, but I let her cry for about 2 hours, and then she fell asleep. That was the first night. The second night she only cried 45 minutes, and the third she cried for ten minutes. And that was it. She learned to rock herself or suck her water bottle and put herself back to sleep, and we both slept much better ever after. She never had any ill effects from the treatment (and she is now 21).

I hope this helps you. --S

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T.G.

answers from Glens Falls on

Have you ever tried putting the baby in bed with you? I know alot of people are against a family bed but it really does work...My three kids all slept with me at one point.
Tess

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S.C.

answers from Buffalo on

Have you looked into sleep apnea? Perhaps he is overtired. That is the number 1 cause of short naps and night wakings. Could you put him to bed earlier? When is he going to bed at night? Teething can be a problem, of course, so maybe it will get better soon, but was it this bad before teething started too?

Have you considered food intolerances? Our oldest DD has problems with dairy and was allergic to soy and eggs. Once we put her on Goat milk and avoided soy and eggs, she was only up once a night after being up almost every hour. It is a hard road to discovery, with food issues, but worth the effort. Keep a journal of what he eats and drinks and hopefully something will pop out at you. Also look into silent reflux, as dairy can aggrevate this condition, and since silent reflux is harder to notice, you may not know he has it.

As a last resort, you could try the Sleep Lady shuffle. What do you do to settle him when he wakes up to get him back to sleep? Could you try pick up/put down? It isn't as harsh as cry it out. If you are against "extinction" cry it out, you could try the shuffle or pick/up put down, that doesn't involve completely ignoring your child, but helps them to learn to sooth themself back to sleep without your help. Could there be an ear infection? Does advil help? If it does, the teething or something else might be waking him.

Sorry to ramble, but these are some things that come to mind. HTH!
S.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Hi-
I too was opposed to crying it out but I was willing to try anything. She needed to get on a schedule and needed some sleep for her own good (plus I was looking forward to some rest myself). It was a Saturday afternoon, I rocked her to sleep as usual and then put her down and when she woke as soon as she was off me I did let her cry. I went in my room and watched on the video monitor to make sure she was ok and she cried for 9 minutes. (trust me I was counting down as I was sobbing and talking to my mom...10 minutes was my pick up time. Anyway long story short she cried for the nine minutes and ever since goes right down without a struggle if she does struggle it is about 2-3 minutes. She is very happy and well rested and while it was the most painful thing I have had to do. Also at night when she fusses she always puts herself back down and I have come to realize that when I was running into get her at every little fuss I was actually just awaking and annoying her. Again this is just my take on it and my experience. I agree it does seem very inhumane.
good Luck
M.

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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I was never successful with the cry-it-out method with my daughter. I did not have the discipline to let her cry, even though I knew MANY people who used it successfully and their kids learned to sleep through the night much earlier than my daughter. We used a mixture of Kim West's book "Good Night Sleep Tight", which was mentioned earlier, and Dr. Weissbluth "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child".

Good luck, and know that eventually all children learn to sleep through the night.

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L.V.

answers from New York on

In my opinion, your son is too young for cry it out. When my son started this, we put the aquarium cradle swing next to our bed and I put him in it and it worked for hours at a time. At this point, you have to do what you have to do to get a few hours of sleep (especially when you have other children) and besides, the babies go through tons of little phases for whatever reason. It didn't hurt his sleeping habits, it took a month or two of this and then back to the crib he went, and slept a surprising 10+ straight hours a night ever since! Good Luck!
L.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Dear C.,

I too have the model of children that don't sleep for eternal stretches of time! I also am not a cry-it-out mom. I do have a couple of questions for you...do you breast or bottle feed him? Have you ever tried co-sleeping? As my kids have gotten older, they have slept for much longer stretches - they're almost 2 and 4 now - but when they were babies - I was up a lot. I decided that having them right next to us in bed was not only easier - but they slept so much better. I think of it this way - I don't like sleeping alone - so why should these little babies want to? I am surprised that since your son is taking such short naps that he isn't sleeping for a longer stretch at night - there are some great homeopathic drops/tablets that can be found at Whole Foods and health food stores that may help - they contain camamille and work when my kids are teething or are just restless. I hope this helps...I know what it's like to not get a night of sleep for weeks on end!

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J.A.

answers from Syracuse on

My favorite book on sleep is "Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West- you can also visit her website www.sleeplady.com. I was never a big fan of the crying and both my boys slept with us for some of their first year for various reasons (nursed both, worked full time and felt like I still good get some sleep and c-section with the first). I needed help to help them learn to fall asleep on their own and to sleep through the night. Her method is a half way point and I always felt like I was supporting my sons without abandoning them. Depending on their personality and ages when I started depends on how fast it will work. My first son did it in 3 nights and my second took about 2 weeks. All my friends would hear these words come out of my mouth... eventually they will sleep. Both of my boys are GREAT sleepers now (ages 2 & 5). You can do it. Teaching your child to sleep on their own is one of the most important skills they can have.

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V.K.

answers from New York on

You must get a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. I was once in your shoes and honestly, this book saved my sanity. My happy child is now 7. Good luck.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

Hi,
How long have you been able to go hearing the crying until you go and pick up your baby?

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D.R.

answers from New York on

I haven't read any of the other responses, so if I'm repeating anything, I apologize. As a mother of 2 boys (now 10 & 13), I am wondering why you are "just against" letting your son cry it out (you also didn't say if this is your only child, so I don't know if your aversion is due to a previous experience). I'm unfamiliar with Pantley, so I can't comment on that.

My honest opinion is that your son is up every hour or so (and only naps for a half hour at a time) because he knows you are going to come and get him. Is he wet? Is he hungry? If he is neither of those things, I don't think you have a choice but to let him cry it out. Every parent is in that situation at one point or another, and the exhaustion will end when you decide that your sleep is just as important as your child's. We were very fortunate and only had to let our older son cry it out for 2 nights. It was horrible and I didn't sleep at all the second night, but after that? he never woke up during the night again (and that was at 5 months). I know it's hard, but you can do it!

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M.A.

answers from New York on

I know you don't like crying it out, but I do feel that you have to give your baby the chance to learn how to put himself to sleep. If you never let him cry, for a decent amount of time, he'll have a hard time learning this skill.

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T.B.

answers from New York on

Try how to solve your childs sleep problems by Richard Ferber - it worked for me - it is kind of the cry it out - but not really - I was very comfortable with it and in two night my daughter would go in the crib and go to sleep on her own - same for my second daughter.....good luck

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W.O.

answers from New York on

Dear C.,
If your son is not sleeping, especially at night, he may be hungry. I found this true, especially with boys. I began by putting a few flakes of cereal in my son's bottle. I opened the hole in the nipple by sterilizing a large needle and making the hole a larger. As I added more cereal, I made the hole larger stil by making small slits in the nipple. Cereal will help to keep him satisfied for longer periods of time and help him sleep.

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P.M.

answers from New York on

Maybe you should let him sleep a little less during the daytime. My first son slept more in the day and didn't stay asleep as long at night. My second son has a habit of basically catnapping during the day (except at daycare where he sleeps longer since I'm not around) and then he sleeps almost through the night - usually with just one waking. I also keep him up later to help asure a longer sleep. He doesn't go down for the night until about 10 and then he sleeps deeper and longer.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

My take is very different from the crying it out advice you've gotten - I don't believe in it either. My twins were up every 3 hours until 11 months old, and then gradually over the next year started sleeping through most nights a week. I was exhausted. What I DIDN'T know was that their food sensitivities were causing their sleep issues. Babies just don't wake up every 20-60 miutes unless something is wrong.
Their food issues also triggered reflux. So I'd do two things: eliminate dairy and soy from his diet (or yours if you're nursing). That means hypoallergenic formula if he's on formula. It s worth every penny, believe me, and when I had to supplement my next baby for aa few weeks it was the only thing I used (Alimentum and Nutramagen are the ones that Similac and Enfamil make, respectively). I would also ask his pediatrician for a trial of Zantac for reflux. Not all babies respond to it, but the ones that don't usually do well on Prevacid (which is harder to take b/c you have to be very specific about when you take it).

Gluten intolerance (gluten is in wheat, oats, barley and rye) is another possibility but only if he's gotten exposed through nursing as formula is gluten-free.

I'm sorry you are suffering from all the sleep deprivation. It drove me to the edge and I truly wish I knew then what I know now. I learned this all on my own as my pediatricians were NOT believers in any of this, whic is sad. Many ped's are so skeptical and it's a shame. Best of luck to you both, and if you want more info please let me know!

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M.D.

answers from Hartford on

Hi C.,
After reading your note it reminded me of my grandson when he was 7 mos old. My daughter in law told me he had the same problem. He was diagnosed with ( acid reflux). When a baby lies down the acid from his stomach comes up to the throat and basicly stings. So my grandson would cry most of the night. Its just a thought.. Ask your pediatrition about it.. Good Luck

____@____.com

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C.G.

answers from New York on

I have four young children. My first child had difficulty sleeping through the night and I also did not want him to cry it out. At night when he would wake up I would take him from his crib and sit him on the edge of my lap in the dark, NOT in a comfortable cradle position. Then I avoided too much eye contact. If he scooted off my lap onto the floor, I would place him there and pleasantly ignore him and pretend I was sleeping in the chair. After a few minutes I would place him back in his crib. The next time he would awake during the night I wouldn't take him out of the crib but just put my hand on his back and stand at the crib looking distant. Eventually he realized that calling for me during the night didn't have any payoff. The idea is not to be too comforting. Children need to learn to soothe themselves during thee night.
Good luck!

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E.L.

answers from Glens Falls on

Hi C., I have twin girls that are just over 1. First, I would try giving him more food (whatever that may be...breastmilk, formula, or baby food). Second, I was against letting them cry it out too. But, it's not letting them cry it out, it's teaching them how to self soothe. I will warn you that the first few nights are rough (I couldn't make it through the first one, I think I only made it 30 seconds.) But now, when we put them in their cribs they just lay down and go to sleep, sometimes they laugh and talk to eachother(which is fun to listen to) until they fall asleep, but no more crying. I highly suggest trying it.

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D.R.

answers from Elmira on

Hi C.. I must share a little history with you. I have 2 sons one is 4 1/2 and the other 10 months (stay at home mom). Our 10 month old is a wonderful sleeper and has been since he was born i could not ask for anything better. He takes 2-3 hour naps daily and is in bed by 7:30 until about 7am in the morning. However, with our oldest son i was a walking zombie. He slept with my husband and myself from day one until about the age of 3 1/2. He had his nights and days mixed up for about 6 months. The only thing i can tell you is from my own experience and looking back; have patience. It did not matter what i did he would cry at night and it was very frusterating for all of us. He now sleeps in his own room and through the night. I never thought i would see the day. Looking back now i would of done nothing different at all. I am sure you think you could be doing something different but the truth is you are doing everything right. Hang in there it will get easier. Good Luck

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

What about Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting book? What about co-sleeping? Is that an option? I don't have much advice because I don't believe in letting babies cry-it-out either, but my only solution is to bring them back to bed with you. I slept with all 3 of my kids and have never felt sleep deprived. Always been well rested! I know it isnt practical for everyone, but when all else fails, it might do the trick. Perhaps your baby is just signaling to you that he isnt able to sleep well on his own. Maybe having Mom close by to feel your skin and smell you may do the trick. Are you nursing still? Perhaps nursing more during the day will help him not wake so frequently to eat. Hope this helps! Hang in there...

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S.F.

answers from New York on

I like Kim West's book. "Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep and Wake Up Happy" It helped me with my son and she doesn't go for the cry it out method.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

It may be time for solids....OR he may have a really strong morrow reflex which is waking him any time he dreams or twitches or hears any sudden sound in the night. I would try the car seat. There is NOTHING wrong with it. It eases their breathing and helps keep them more snuggled and held so the morrow reflex isn't waking them constantly. Put the car seat right in the crib and line it with a soft blanket. Once the reflex calms you can put them back in the cirb (for him it may only be a month or two). Best of luck.

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F.L.

answers from Albany on

I'm a mom of a 2 1/2 year old boy. I had a similar problem as yours when my son was around the same age as your son. My son used to wake up very often at night. Also, he always woke up with temper and kicking. Finally, I found that he doesn't like his foot to be covered by the blanket. Once I found out the reason, I removed the blanket from his foot and since then, he slept much better.

Your son may feel something wrong with sleeping. It could be blanket; noises; temperature (too cold, too hot); or something else. You should try to find out the reason(s) why he wakes up every hours. If you find the clue, then it will solve the problem.

Also, I tried the cry-it-out once. I found that it made my son sleeping worse (he woke up more often) since he lost security. It took me some times to regain his security. Once he feels that he is secured and loved, he would sleep much better. I believe that cry-it-out doesn't work on every single babies or toddlers.

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H.K.

answers from New York on

There are safe and respectful ideas in Nighttime Parenting or a book called No Cry Sleep Solutions.
They grow up fast so enjoy snuggling your little ones!!
H.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

I just read a great book for this...Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West with Joanne Kenen. It's considered the gentle guide to help your baby go to sleep, stay asleep and wake up happy. I ahve 7 1/2 month ols twins and was having trouble getting my son to sleep. It's not a cry it out approach, instead you do what she calls the "sleep lady shuffle" where you gradually remove yourself from the room while letting your baby fall asleep on their own with you coaching them. You actually start out by the crib and every few night you move closer to the door and eventually outside. I have just recently started the "shuffle" and it worked much quicker than I expected. My son still wakes up once a night (instead of several times), but it's not happening EVERY night. I'll take it!!! The naps haven't gotten much better for me though. THey both nap about 30-45 minutes. I thought babies were supposed to sleep!?!? As far as her plan, I don't follow it as closely s she recommends b/c my son shares a room with his twin sister so I have to worry about waking her. I hope this works for you. The sleepless nights really do catch up with you.

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S.D.

answers from Syracuse on

C.

I was once a mother of a young one that would not go to sleep on his own or stay that way. I would suggest that you invest in this little brown bear that has the mother's womb sound. I cannot remember who makes it but you can purchase it at Babies R' Us. Once I was bale to get my little guy to sleep I turned on the bear (which attaches to the crib) and he slept through the night.

If this does not work I would pay particular attention to when he eats and what he is eating. Sometimes what they eat can keep them up because of a stomach ache.

S. D.

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