My son is just turning 6months this week. He's been having a very hard time sleeping at night for the past 2 months - I just took away his pacifier because he was waking every 20-40 minutes, when it would fall out, throughout the night. I feel horrible for taking it away, but my peditrician says in the long run it is better to do so now. He seems much better at naps without it, but nighttime is just awful (its only been 2 nights). I've resorted to patting his tushy and shhhing to help him get to sleep as he just doesn't seem to be able to self soothe. I've let him cry, no longer than 15minutes (and thats bad enough!) but it doesn't seem to tire him out. At night he is waking and after nursing him and putting him back down he'll cry for alittle bit and then I try the patting routine (last night for over 45 min) and he still wouldn't fall back to sleep, then he babbled for another 45 minutes and FINALLY after another 15min or so of patting he fell asleep, but only for abt 3 hrs. He is generally a VERY happy baby, but I am starting to see the overtired monster rear its ugly head and this is just a vicious cycle. Any advice to help him soothe himself. I know taking the pacifier away is harsh, but so is waking every 20-40 minutes to put it back in his mouth throughout the night. So am am going to try and stick it out another night or so and see how it goes, but any advice from you would be SO appreciated!! Also, how long to I just leave him at night to babble before trying to intervene and help him to sleep? Sorry for the long description/question!
Is he rolling over on his own yet?
If so...put him to sleep on his tummy and see how he does.
This was about the point with both of my boys that sleeping on the tummy was no longer a big deal.
Next to putting a teenager behind the wheel of a car, letting a baby cry is one of the most difficult things you will ever do for your child-let him cry-don't go in and pat him-after a couple of nights-he will get the picture-best to have a "team member" so when you cave in, they can talk you out of it-and visa versa-good luck!
Children respond best when you change one thing in their routine slowly over time. Sometimes as parents we expect too much from our babies. Self soothing may come naturally for some babies, but the majority need some help getting to sleep and returning to sleep when they wake at night. The pacifier is not likely causing him to wake several times a night, but it might be teething, temperature of the room or even fabric of his PJs causing skin discomfort. Since you took the pacifier away, perhaps you could rock him to sleep instead. For some reason rocking babies is completely out of vogue (perhaps because it requires parental interaction at bedtime which leads to stronger parent child bonds), but really it isn't a bad way to show love and develop a sense of security. I rock all my little ones to sleep until around age 2 when my lap is too small and they request to be laid in their beds. Please don't resort to letting him "cry it out" at this age. The research isn't favorable for the CIO method in infants. Please see: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-.... Oh, and contrary to popular belief, at least 1/3 of children don't consistently sleep through the night until age 4. Just some old-fashioned thought....Nurse Midwife Mom
Ditto Robin.
He can't learn self-soothing until you stop patting his tushy.
It's hard - but it took us 4 days and wouldn't think 7-10 would be out of range.
We used Babywise, but Ferber is good. Make sure your routine is...well, routine, and just put him down for the night. Couple more days and he'll have it all worked out, with a new skill in hand! :)
I swaddled my second son til he was 8 months old, it was the only way he'd sleep. We used something called a Woombie though, which is like a stretchy sack that they can move their arms around in, I know it made him feel comfy and secure because he slept hours at a time in it. But NEVER through the night until almost 2 years old. After the woombie swaddle he used a sleep sack until age 2 and that helped.
We use a sleep sheep with my daughter (who is 2 mnths old) it plays soft sounds and soothes her to sleep. It is a sleep association for her and she knows once the sleep sheep starts playing its time to go to bed and generally goes to sleep with in 15 minutes. Do you talk to him when you go in? I know this may be tough but DON'T interact with his. otherwise he will think it is playtime. With my daughter we let her cry for a little while (only about 2 minutes because she is only 2mnths old and is still learning she can depend on us) then we go in and pick her up and pat her back (but we don't talk or sing) then as soon as she calms down we set her back down and walk out of the room even if she has started crying as soon as we set her down. Now she is alot younger then your son but through this method she has taught herself to self soothe and can generally get herself back to sleep within one or two minutes of waking (unless she is hungry since she is still taking one overnight feeding)
You did well to remove the pacifier. In the long run, things will be easier for both you and him. Consider throwing them all out so that you can stick by this plan, and not undo all your hard work at a moment when you feel you've had enough.
Be careful not to create a new sleep association, the patting, rubbing, shushing, that you will then have to break him of.
Watch for a week. document what time you put him to bed, and what time he actually falls asleep. Next week, try putting him in bed 1/2 an hour later than he actually falls asleep. (He will be good and ready to sleep by then).
Give him a couple of strokes, tuck him in, and walk out of the room. Give him a chance to fall asleep, or to babble to himself. He just might surprise you. Go back in at increasingly long intervals, after 1 minute, 3, 5, 10, 15, on day 2, after, 5, then after 10, then after 15. on day 3, after 10, after 15, after 20. You probably won't need to get to day 4, but if you were to, again start at the next lowest interval.
Read the Dr. Ferber book for more concrete advice.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
Someone mentioned a schedule. I second that! My son had trouble with night-waking. After fiddling around with certain accommodations, we finally simply made sure to put my son down for a nap around 9, another around 1, and sleep-for-the-night around 7. My goodness, it worked. Next, I learned with my dauughter that vocalizing isn't always crying! "Singing" to herself was one of the ways she self-soothed. Combining the 2 bits of info I learned from my first two, getting my third to sleep has been a BREEZE. Good luck. It's not always easy!
If the paci falling out is waking him up, then yes, take it away. He might be teething. Maybe you could give him a bit of Motrin and see if that helps? Anyway, make sure that he is in his own room. Does he have a lovie? What about a Ocean Wonders Aquarium or similar music/light machine that he can turn off by himself? My son started sleeping through the night at 4 months. He was exclusivly breastfed. Make sure you give him a big meal before bed and then nurse him. Put him in his crib as close to your bedtime as possible. When he wakes up crying, allow him some time to cry but if it escalates, go in there, nurse him, and put him back to sleep. Here is where the lovie and the music/light come in. First it was just accidental. My son would turn it on and soon he learned that it was enjoyable and that sometimes it wasn't worth it to cry for so long (I mean like 5-10 minutes). My son's love is a small teddy bear attached to a blanket. It has arms but no legs. It was a lifesaver. Good luck!
Had the same issue with my first. It was brutal. She never took a paci, which turned out to be a good thing. She wouldn't sleep in her crib, only with me and I didn't have the stomach to let her CIO. But it got to a point, after I became pregnant again when she was only 6 months old, that I needed my sleep. I read EVERY book and posted your same question...and literally got 38 different answers. But one post recommended sleep consultants. I did it. She, after 1 night, at age 7 months, slept 13 hours every night and napped soundly twice every day. They did lots of things, like blackout shades,strong white noise machine, put her on a schedule,etc. and the crying was minimal. I'm not kidding. Amazing. My second was naturally a better sleeper but I still used the same techniques. Not trying to sell you something but they did just come out with a book. Haven't read it yet but one of the authors was one of the consultants I used. It's called the Dream Sleeper. based on my experience with them, that would be a great place to start.
I used to think it was mean to let my baby cry at all. Now that they are awesome sleepers, I realize I wasn't allowing them the opportunity to get the sleep they need. Best of luck. I know it's an excruciating thing you are going through.
I'm not going to tell you to give the paci back, but I wouldn't rule it out either. My daughter would lose hers, too. I think all babies do. We just put extras in her crib at night and she learned pretty quickly how to find one if she lost it. The phase you are going through didn't last long.
She gave her paci up on her 2nd birthday and never looked back.
And, if your baby decides his thumb is a helpful tool to self-soothe, what will you do to get rid of that habit later on? You can't remove a thumb.
I also had a child who gave up his paci on his own at 6 months. Just stopped using it....and when he was 7 months, pulled his cousin's out of her mouth and looked at it like "what the heck is THAT doing in your mouth?" (They were sitting on the floor next to each other).
All kids are different, and if a paci works for your son, then you can worry about getting rid of it later, when he can more easily develop other coping skills to self-soothe. At 6 months, he doesn't have a lot of options, and sucking is comforting for babies. Some babies have a stronger need to suck than others, too.
Good luck, whatever you do.
