Separation Anxiety - Holmen,WI

It's not unusual for one-year-olds to want to stick to Mama like velcro. As I've written on some other posts, I have a marvelous picture of my youngest granddaughter sitting in a gorgeous field of Texas bluebonnets, crying as if there were no tomorrow, because her Mama SET HER DOWN! Horrors!

It WILL pass. The girl may have to fuss a little. Your friend may have to use some diversionary tactics to persuade Miss Velcro to sit by her for a bit while she does something else. She needs to keep her sense of humor and to try not to get frustrated. "There! That didn't take long, did it? And you did a fine job of playing with that toy while I was helping your brother/put the laundry in the washer/used the bathroom." When my children went through that stage, I found that playing peekaboo games helped a bit, too.

When Miss V. finally grows a little more, and has it in her head and heart that if Mama disappears she will be back, then she'll will be more comfortable. Pretty soon your friend will have to go looking for HER.

She needs to feel safe, leave the room for a few minutes while she is watching her favorite show on TV. Prepare her for this, "Honey Momma is going to the kitchen to get a glass of water, do you want one? I'll be right back, stay here and watch Dora. Reassure her she is safe and keep talking to her as you leave and while you are gone. When you get back say 'see I told you I'd be right back'. Let her settle into this routine, then leave for a longer period of time, to check the washer/dryer. Peek-a-boo is a game that parents have used for decades to let the child know you can leave and come back. As she matures prepare her for a longer sepration. Find someone, grandma for instance, that she really enjoys being with. Have that perseon come over to watch her and leave for a longer period of time. Take a walk or run a quick errand, about a half hour, when you get back spend time playing with her or reading a story. She has to learn that Mom can leave and come back and she is safe. Eventually you can leave her for a longer period of time, maybe a dinner or movie out with your hubby. Be sure to be back before bed time so she knows you are home before shegoes to sleep. Again, soon she will become comfortable and you can leave for a longer period of time.

It's perfectly normal to need to be carried and nurtured very close to mom. Try a little bit each day to let her be by herself, play peekaboo, leave the room for brief periods to let her know you come back, but I wouldn't leave her to cry and cry. Obviously being held is very important to her right now and I think that need should be met. It will change as she gets older. As she gets older she'll become more comfortable with playing by herself and the urge to explore will probably take over and she'll be more confident. Independence doesn't have to be taught by the parent...it happens naturally as a child ages.
She may also really like to be in the thick of things with the older siblings. Maybe she likes to watch mom prepare sandwiches or watch how a phone is used. The times when we hold, talk to, and interact with our kids are incredible learning times for them.
A good sling will help so mom can carry the child with her when she needs to. I used the baby k'tan (babyktan.com) in the hip position to keep my second child with me as I zipped around the house cleaning or doing light cooking. Happy baby in the sling was better for me than futile attempts at leaving my child to cry and become so distressed it was even harder to calm my child down when I did pick him up.
Good luck to your friend!

It will pass. We babysitting a young 2 year old with severe SA. 1. Get into a routine step by step on how the separation takes place.

You really have to just let the child cry and comfort them with kind and gentle words and gentle touch to their checks and a few short HUGS to let them know mommy will be back and I know you miss her and she will be home at such and such time. If you control your own disposition and remain calm it really helps. He would cry for a good solid 2 hours and when we touched him he would throw a temper tantrum on the floor but in a few months he did calm down..