Separation Anxiety - Aurora,CO

My daughter did this all the way into third grade. She'd do it now if crying was more accepted among her friends (fifth grade). She is very bonded to me and has a lot of anxiety, separation anxiety being just one form. She still wants me to walk her to her room at school instead of dropping her at the door. She is very uncomfortable asking for ketchup packets at a food counter or going to ask her teacher a question if I'm anywhere nearby. She is smart, has a lot of friends, and is very pretty, but doubts herself constantly. I don't have good answers, but just be prepared -- it could be a long ride.

Sounds like you are already doing everything that you can, and if she's happy and smiling within 5 minutes of you leaving, then I think it's just a phase and something you need to keep working through. Some kids just don't do well with transitions. Stay consistent and hopefully she will reach a point where she is mature enough to realize that really, it will be ok, and crying about it and making a fuss doesn't change anything. I think it would be nice if someone at the school was a little more understanding and patient, and maybe could help guide your daughter into class when you arrive and get her engaged in doing something fun right away.

There is a book called "The Kissing Hand" for kids that is great for dealing with situations like this. I would check it out, read it with your daughter, and see if it helps. Maybe you guys can come up with a a very short, special "until I see you again" ritual. I usually have not had this issue with my daughter but on the rare occasion that I have, I kiss the palm of her hand so she can carry my kiss around with her all day.

My daughter has been known to do this, too, and I think she does it merely for effect..drama queen. It's a performance for my benefit. Once I'm gone, she's fine. It sounds like your daugher is fine once you leave. At other times of the day, you may want to tell her that it makes you sad when she cries at drop off. (For awhile, my daughter thought it made me happy to know that she was going to miss me so much that she was devastated at being left) Also let her know that crying for you doesn't change anything about her going to school, it just makes you kind of sad. I wouldn't worry about it too much, especially if she enjoys herself during the day, misses her friends/teachers when she's out for a few days and is learning.

It really is normal, and your pediatrician is right. The school may not like it that it takes her a few minutes to warm up but they're just going to have to cope with it. Every single daycare has to deal with this exact issue every single day multiple times a day with much worse scenarios than what your daughter is presenting.

I have found with my children and grandchildren that at age 3, they get clingy and have a hard time with separation anxiety. I think it's totally normal for her age. As long as she doesn't continue to cry, I don't know why the school would be pressuring you about it. It's not like she has an on/off switch that you can control. I think it will get better over time.