Seven and a Half Year Old Girl CANNOT STAND Her Little Sister Sometimes

This is normal. Sibs don't always get along.

I do think that you can help this by insisting that the girls stay apart for as long as it takes for the older one to be OK being with her little sister. School is hard work and she is telling you she needs alone time. That's a reasonable request that should be honored. I'd be glad that she recognizes her needs.

Yes, the younger girl wants to be with her big sister. Tell her she can be with her after her sister has some quiet time. Help her understand that being together and fighting is not fun but that they can have fun a bit later. Arrange an activity for the younger one.

It may not seem fair because they both have needs but at the same time it's the older one who has an actual physical need. The younger one wants to be with her sister but her need can be postponed much easier.

This reminds me of couples who allow for down time after work. Each does something else until they get together for dinner. Without the time apart the couple fights and the evening is spoiled.

Find a way for both girls to have something to do apart from the other one.

Mia is being fairly normal. I know most days when I get home from work I need QUIET. I will come in the door and head for the computer check email get a cup of coffee and not even take off my coat or say a word for about an hour. I work in people oriented job and need an hour to not have to talk or listen to anyone.
Give Mia some time to veg when she gets home. Talk it over with her and tell her to hug her sister, then she can get a snack and go to her room for 30-60 minutes and de-compress. Then please spend time with her sister.

I feel like this is normal for Mia's age... School takes a lot out of some kids. Having to pay attention, behave, stay quiet, focus on their work is hard especially by the end of the week and at the end of the year.

At a quiet moment, I think I would explain to Mia that her sister misses her while she's at school all day and she really looks for ward to seeing her when she arrives home. She has the right to go in her room for some quiet time though, and the WAY that she greets Corrine is important. It isn't ok for her to come in a treat her in a mean way. At 7 she's old enough to understand that this would hurt a younger sibling's feelings. I'd try coaching Mia on things that she can say... " Hi Corrine, I missed you too. I'm going to have some quiet time and then we can play."

And to Corrine... "Mia needs some space when she gets home. She'll have her quiet time and then you two can play" Then redirect Corrine to an activity.

These are lessons that may not come easily, but that are important for kids to learn. Kindness and repetition and respect for both sides...

Good luck~

I hated having my little brothers and sisters underfeet when I was that age, I just wanted to be left alone to read my books. You can't force her to want to play with her sister, it will just make her resent her.

maybe you can impliment a 30 minute or an hour cooling off period or something, let her unwind for a bit before siccing the little sis on her?

I agree with Jen – it is really hard for adults to "make" themselves behave in ways they do not feel, and feelings are not something we can choose at will. It sounds like Mia genuinely needs some time to decompress (she's probably had to keep her feelings reined in all day at school), and while you don't say how old Corinne is, it sounds like she's probably old enough to explain why her sister really needs some personal time before playing.

There's a most wonderful little book that is my all-time favorite parenting resource, called ow to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. This will give you pointers on how to help your children solve many of their own problems, with a bit of coaching and support from Mom and Dad. It covers all sorts of topics with a wise and workable approach, and you will seriously wonder how you made it this far without these tips and techniques.

And a companion book by the same authors draws raves from many young parents I know: Siblings Without Rivalry. (I haven't read that one because my daughter and grandson are onlies, but these authors are seriously experienced, and their approach works in real families with real kids.)

well, we are at the end of the school year (unless you have year-round!)...so hopefully this summer will allow the girls to bond a little better.

Allow your older daughter to have some quiet time alone....keep your younger daughter busy with a puzzle or a craft during this time.

You could also begin a Kindness Chart....& reward each girl for random acts of kindness!

Both kids are at totally different developmental stages and ages.
Thus, they cannot and should not be expected to be joined at the hip.

The older one, DOES need time to herself. She is older. This is the age.
They need to know they can, have time to themselves.

I have an 8 and 4 year old. Boy and girl. Although they adore each other and play together and get along.... my older daughter WILL say when she just wants to be left alone and do her own thing. We in turn, teach our son... about how EVERYBODY needs time to themselves, too. And its okay. Even my 4 year old, will say, that he needs time to himself and wants to be alone and NOT have his sister.... in his space or face. Sometimes even he just wants to play by himself.
It is okay.
Even adults need that too.

So, you teach your youngest, about that.
And you teach your eldest, it is okay... and respect her needs for space and alone time.

Call it 'wind-down time' or 'alone time' or whatever you think is a good cue word for them.

NO one, likes to be RUSHED at, as soon as they come home.

And maybe, the younger one needs to (if she is not already), to be in her own play-groups or preschool part-time or outings. So she gets out her pent up energy and interaction time, and not only getting that from your eldest daughter.

I totally understand, how Mia is getting an 'attitude' toward her younger sister. They are siblings, and plus the eldest has her own rhythms to things and needs. She is older.

Corrine, needs her own things... and interactions. Even if that means taking her to the park everyday so she can play with other kids. Or join Mommy/kid groups. Or have her in Preschool if she is that age.

isn't there a time when you can not stand your little one? we;re all human if its J. sometimes maybe she needs a break to cool down from school and not have a little one running to her feet...i used to veg out for a 1/2 hour after school or take a nap when i was little

My girls do this, too. They are 8.5 (and her name is Corinne! :) and 6 and it has always been this way. I am an only child so I don't know the best way to handle it. For my girls, I allow my older one to "decompress" (she's like me, she needs peace and quiet to unwind or she's very cranky). I have my little one hold off for a good 10 minutes before she goes barging into big sister's room. I just explain to her that big sister is just having a little time out to calm down (in our house, time outs aren't used for punishment, they are used to calm down), and when she is done with her time out, she'll come out and play. My younger daughter understands that and is able to respect it. It's hard because my younger one is SO outgoing and gregarious, and my older daughter is friendly, but just needs her space. It's only right to respect them as individuals, I feel, and try to meet each child where they need to be met. Everyone is happier that way although you will not be treating each child the exact same way.

I have 2 girls, almost 6 yrs apart & our oldest would still love to be an only child - she admitted to it in the car today when it was just me, her & my husband. I grew up in a house w/4 children & we didn't have the option of needing "me time" or anything like that so I'm not a firm believer in that sort of thing, but I do believe that my oldest needs to be reminded that she was fortunate enough to spend almost 6 yrs of her life w/us and only us whereas her sister has had to share us w/her. It's a hard thing for children to understand, especially in today's world where it seems that children are becoming more and more catered to because of all of the guilt of parents working so much, the divorce rate, etc. I just think that the best thing that we can do in a case like this is to explain to our children that some day our siblings are going to be the one's we rely on like we do our parents. Unfortunately when my mom died I learned real quick that the only person I could truly rely on is my dad. Best of luck to you.

I am 22, and my younger sister is 17. We hated each other... unitl I graduated high school.The separation helped us so much. We are best friends now. Nevertheless she still irritates me. I had acute ADD as well. Its just how sisters are. The years between us had a lot to do with it too. (3.5 years and 4 grades difference.) Time is the only thing that can fix it.