Hello, This question has been asked I'm sure, but here goes. I am 46, work full-time and have two boys (11 and 14). My problem is a complete lack of sex drive. I do enjoy somewhat trashy novels, Nora Roberts and Linda Lael Miller, but even reading those is only a mild stimulant.
I thought at this point in our marriage I would be the one with the sex drive and he'd be putting on the brakes. At this point I'm like "again, are you kidding me" and it's been days or even a week since our last encounter. Does anyone have supplement suggestions that would help with this issue?
Thanks,
M.
I had my annual exam recently and they did blood work. She said that everything came back at normal levels.
Same here but I always had a low drive. To stimulate it, I must have weekend social events that invlove 'libations/spirits'. I need to dress up and start the romance fromthe moment we leave the door.
If it makes you feel better, there was an article recently in the NYT I think. They're tryign to develop a drug to increase women's sex drive. It's a common problem. Interestingly, they link it to monogamy more for women than men. However, I tell my husband that I'm not sure even Brad Cooper (he's my favorite right now) would get me all that excited. But apparently we're not the only ones and in the article, there were women much younger. I'm also mid 40's. For me it's just brain overload. I also work FT btw, 2 kids. I need so much time to fully relax and even contemplate getting excited... And I also think - isn't my husband over this yet?? :) He's older than me! I hope you get some good suggestions. :)
Get your hormone levels checked. Right around this time is when peri-menopause starts and our hormones and drive can change.
Talk with your doctor about this issue specifically. There are several reasons our sex drive can suffer, some are medical, and other are not. It is true with sex, like with many other things, that the more you do it the more you want it, so the fact that you are going days in between may well be adding in your lack of desire. When we get into a lull we often try to commit to every other day for a few weeks. Even when we are not in the mood we find we get there once we start kissing and cuddling with each other, and once we get our bodies used to having regular sex once again the desire for it comes back.
I have not experienced a drive issue, yet.
However, I know many who have. I don't think a few days or a week, is really all that abnormal. Considering age, job status, and children. Do you LIKE sex and enjoy it when you have it? Or, are just "no, don't want to?" Just really not wanting to ever, and giving in for him...IS a big problem. A few days, I don't think is. But hey, what do I know??
If it's not a blood-work thing, maybe it's an energy thing. Are you getting enough sleep and opportunities to unwind? Do you ever time by yourself? What about time with your husband alone? All those things are SO important, and I would think the absence could be a drive killer.
**Oh, many medications are a drive killer. If you are on any at all, ask your DR.
I agree with InMy30'sAlready talk to your dr. I am in the same boat as you but i have some other health issues that makes it worst. But after my youngest that turns 11 next month my drive went away.
If all else fails, wine helps me. Good luck.
I would inquire at your next doctors appointment.
M.
Depression plays a role in our sex drive.
You might have no time for YOU - so don't feel like having sex because you haven't had a chance to unwind from your day.
Tell your doctor about your lack of sex drive and have more tests run on thyroid, etc.
Good luck!!
Are you starting any signs of perimenopause? Having gone through premature menopause at 36, I can tell you my sex drive took a major hit. I do take HRT, but my sex drive is no where it used to be. Not even close. My husband tried to be understanding, and I do the best I can, but it's frustrating. It doesn't help that I have a 2 and 6 year old and full time job on top of that. That used to never matter before, so it's just physiological. I don't have much advice, other than to say I can relate!
Is supplements the answer or as others have suggested: Is it lack of energy or downtown? Hidden emotional issues?
When you got your bloodwork did they do a hormonal check, thyroid?
Once you rule out all physical possibilities, then maybe explore possible psychological component.
I, however, am on the other end of the drive spectrum.
No two people are completely sexually compatible.
I just turned 27 and have had the same issues since I was 25. I’d like to know as well. However, I did quit taking birth control and my drive is slowly creeping back up. My Husband and I didn't need birth control but I was using it to stave off ovary issues. Finally the ovary issues are gone (at least so far). I have lost weight and my drive is slowly coming back. If you find more then this as the answer post an update!
Best wishes!!
