Sex Issue

hi J. - i have the same problem. talked to my obgyn about it a few weeks ago. she prescribed the normal estrogen cream, but said some women just take a full year (ugh!) to fully recover. i haven't tried the cream again yet, mainly due to laziness on my part to fill the prescription, but she said it may not work (b/c of the whole year long thing). we've also done the lubrication thing, and it doesn't seem to help. i'm hoping once i get the cream going it'll be another story. otherwise, january here i come! good luck...

J.

Hi J.,

I feel your pain--literally. This is a very common situation and a lot of it may be hormonal. I had to go to the doctor for pain "down there" because my stitches didn't heal properly (I had third degree tears during natural child birth--which is why I chose an epidural with my second!). He did a very quick procedure and "removed" the skin that had essentially formed a barrier over part of the opening of my vagina. (I know, I know. Gross. TMI. But true--and completely fixable if you ever want to have sex again without excruciating pain!

Hope this helps. If not, it could just be you're tired and you'll have to figure out a schedule where you're not exhausted to keep this part of your marriage alive & well.

Best of luck!

A.

You sound just like me, teacher included! This happened to me after my first (she's 2.5 now too) and now I too have a 7 month old. I was told by my doctor that once you stop breastfeeding, or a year goes by, your estrogen will begin to come back and your personal lub will return. Just be patient...I know it will return, but it's a bit of both, it hurts and it's dry....I just give "extra" personal time for him and he doesn't seem to feel like he's missing out and I don't have to fret....until it feels better for me, which won't be till JAN, ughhhhh... m

J.,
I had a similar problem with sex being painful. It ended up that I had damaged teh nerve endings during child birth in the vaginal canal. I had a series of 4 shots, once per week in my vagina. It was a lidocaine shot and once it was all over, sex didn't hurt any more.
Discuss this with your doctor and maybe this is what is the situation with you.
Good Luck
L.

You have gotten some great advice and this is just one more thought. Your sunburn description is a good way I would describe the feeling I had about a year after my baby was born. No infection but turns out I was having an allergic reaction. My gyn told me to use hypo-allergenic laundry detergent and no soap in the shower down there. I would be going along ok until sex. Turns out I was still having a reaction to the soap my hubby was using in the shower. Probably not your issue but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.

I had this problem but not until my son was almost 2 years old. Not childbirth related. Turns out it was strep. Sometimes your body can go thru so many changes after anything. My cause was stress. So it could be an infection. Which can only be cured with antibiotics. Talk to your doc, they should know the right tests to run. Good Luck and Congrats!

Barring any medical issue that you could talk to your midwife/OB about--we have had to use lube as I remain dry right now (breastfeeding). By a non-glycerin KY at Target (where we found it). Glycerin can cause other irritations for me anyway...

good luck

It also took a long time for me not to feel discomfort during sex after the birth of my children. One of the reasons was because I was breastfeeding. If you're breastfeeding, your estrogen levels are still low which contribute to the "dryness". Until I stopped breastfeeding (after a full year) we went through a number of lubricants and found Astroglide to be the best. Good luck.

Hi J. - I have the same problem. I complained about the pain at my check-up with my ob/gyn about 6 months after delivery (I had a c-section). My Dr. (who is a female with young children) said, "does it feel like shards of glass when you have intercourse." I was like, "Exactly!". She said it is normal dryness due to hormone changes from breastfeeding and prescribed a moisturizing cream. My daughter will be one year on the 18th, and since I'm still bf. my period has not returned, but I can feel moisture, and my drive returning. In my case, it's all hormone related. and hopefully it is the same for you.
Good luck!

J.,

I would recommend discussing this with your OBGYN. Don't be shy! That is what they are there for. Your issue is not uncommon.

After my first son was born I had nerve pain where I was stitched for a full year. It wasn't a lack of lubrication in my case (I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months) but just that it took a long time to heal. And it wasn't a bad tear to begin with - it just must have been in the exact wrong place.

Anyway, it all did get back to normal eventually and there's been no long-term impact on our sex life although that year was weird - it felt like all of those parts had been disassembled and put back together not quite right. After my second child I didn't have anything like that - just the usual couple of months to heal (although his birth also required a stitch or two).

J. -
If you haven't started ovulating/gotten your period back since giving birth, it's completely normal and you may be pleasantly surprised when your cycle begins again.

You poor thing--have a family member that just went to the same thing- she said having sex with her husband was akward and painful after their son was born ! ~the culprit.....low estrogen--see your gyne, and he/she can prescribe you some cream, until you get "back to normal" on your own....

1st of all, get to the gyne and have a checkup. Maybe something didn't heal properly or forceps could have cut you inside. Drs. have slippages all the time that you never hear about. Then, maybe the gyne can help you with your problem. Good luck honey.

I had the same issue after my daughter was born. The doctor prescribed me an estrogen cream for me to use. It helped a lot. I would definitely go to the doc.