My 2 year old daughter is an only child and HATES to share her stuff. We have tried sharing our things with her and making her share with us. And it works... until another child is around. We have tried talking to her, taking the toy away, and putting her in timeout. But nothing seems to help. Occasionally, we can get her to share for a moment but that moment is short lived. Someone please help me teach my little girl to share
I have taken most everyone's advice and kinda pushed them together and had a playdate with some of the neighborhood kids. Needless to say, it didn't start out too well but I am a firm believer that no child is "too young" to learn anything. It is a matter of how to teach them. Anyways, my hubby and I sat in the floor with all the kids and started out playing group games. The favorite was "duck duck goose", that helped to get the sharing process started with her engaging n a group activity to get comfortable with other kids in her home. She's a fast learner, so from there it wasn't too difficult to get her to share and play with other kids. Her favorite toy was still not an option for other kids, but I'm not going to push that. Everyone has something that is theres and nobody elses. But with me and my husband getting in the floor and sharing with everyone, my daughter immediately caught on and saw how much fun mommy and daddy was having sharing with everyone else and she jumped right in and even went and got toys out of her toy box and gave them to the other kids... SUCCESS!!!!!! Even after the kids left and since, my daughter has asked multiple times when the kids can come back over!! Some of the other suggestions did not work (cant remember off the top of my head) simply because my daughter is very smart and didn't fall for the "baby tricks".It is very hard for us to try and "fool" her with things. Thank you everyone!!
Kids are not truly able to understand "sharing" till they are near 4. They literally cannot see things from another's perspective, so "sharing" does not make sense to them.
Model sharing behavior, but be patient.
She's too young. I have twins, who had to share everything, and at two they couldn't do it either. At that age it's basically just making sure that everyone gets something to play with, and distracting one child so you can swap toys for the second child. Hang in there - she'll learn in a year or two.
Two year olds are not the world's best sharers, so don't feel too bad about it. Keep on modeling and start making some friends and she will eventually learn.
Good luck!
I HATE to share.... and I'm 40. I do it, because I've learned that it's socially acceptable and that if you don't no one wants to play with you. But I hate when people touch my stuff. I always knew it would get broken or messed up (and I had brothers and a younger sister, so most of the time I was right).
I don't think this is an only child thing.... my daughter is an only child and she shares just fine. She actually might have shared BETTER than a child with siblings when she was younger because she wanted to have other girls over to play.....
2 is a little young to share. However, one thing that I (inadvertently) did with my daughter is that I didn't ever really use expressions like "this is YOUR bucket". I said "you can use these crayons" or "let's play with this train". Also - most of the toys were in the playroom area, so I'm not sure she ever thought they were "hers" and therefore might not have been so quick to say others "couldn't" use them. hahahaha.
Also, she and I did a lot of "turn taking" - you rip up one handful of lettuce.... now mommy rips up one handful of lettuce. You pick one story, mommy picks the 2nd story. That also may have helped.
Bottom line is that her friends (or lack thereof) will eventually teach her to share.
Model the behavior but she is too young to understand. Taking turns is probably the best that you can expect right now. You cannot punish her into wanting to be generous.
At two, toddlers do not play with each other. The play side by side. I suggest it's too early to teach sharing. She first learns ownership. She's in that stage now.
She is young, she will learn. If she continues no one will want to play with her in a group. She will then figure out the benefit to sharing.
Look at it this way, she wants to play with Cindy who just asked for her toy. *light bulb moment* I will offer Cindy the toy and we can play together. Problem solved.
she is not too young! She simply needs to be with other children regularly & she'll learn how to share nicely. I see this phenomenon with my daycare kids ....& by the time they're 20-24 months, they have the sharing down pat! It's something I simply insist upon, model daily, & reward until it's 2nd nature.
Look for a local playgroup of her peers & the process should go smoothly!
When your child is with another, play with them and share with the other child as well. What worked for us is to ask politely for the toy: "May I play with this?" then follow up with a smiling "Thank you", then give it right back. Repeat and take a little longer a few times to give it back.
Ditto what Sue H advised! Get her in playgroups, storytimes at the library, etc., so she learns this is what children do together. 2 is not too young to share or learn to.
I have 2 kids (ages 7 and 2) and it is personality and age. She is so young - just always keep working with her, making her share, telling her what the right thing to do is, read books about sharing, etc. My son (my 1st) had a horrible time sharing - it was SO HARD for him. It seemed like out of all his little toddler friends he was by far the worst. I just always had to hover near him while on playdates and make sure he shared, give time outs if needed,etc. He slowly got better at it...but it was a long slow process. I'd say he finally got pretty good at sharing at Kindergarten age (5 and a half to 6). I truly believe it is personality. His sister already is good at sharing. Sometimes she does not want to, but I tell her the right thing to do and after 30 seconds of thinking about it she goes and hands over the toy. I'm constantly amazed. All kids are so different!
Hi, MM:
It is normal for a 2 year old to say "no" and not share.
Allow her to be in control of her toys at this time.
The other child will need to learn to accept no for an answer.
Is there some real you don't want her to say no?
She certainly will need it when she is older. She might
as well learn to say no now.
Good luck.
D.
My husband and I noticed this with our son, but I really didn't feel like I could teach him because what adult is hankering for a child's toy ;) We put him in daycare for 2 days a week just so he could get the social interaction with peers and learn to share etc. I know not everybody can do this, but it worked for us. Our real problem now is he is having a hard time sharing now that he has a little brother, it actually seems worse at times, but it's not so much difficulty with sharing with his brother, but sharing with others. He seems to love his brother and doesn't mind sharing with him--Go figure. There's always a new things for us momma's to deal with when it comes to these little guys ;)
