Will She Be Behind?

I know you have a lot of responses, but my kids love www.starfall.com which is free and interactive. ABC.'s and reading. My kids are 3 and 5yrs old.

I taught kindergarten and she is just where she needs to be. She is even ahead of other kids. Knowing the sounds letters make is huge but not done at the beginning of the year. Everything else you have done is great. Keep up the good work!

Don't worry - most kids going to preschool will have to relearn their alphabet in Kindergarten anyway because preschools generally teach uppercase only and the kids need both. Don't worry too much about her learning milestones at this stage - generally by the third grade all kids pretty much get evened out. Don't push her to learn academics faster than she is ready for - just provide her with the opportunity to explore and play and she'll do great.

J.- single mom to a challenging 12 year old GATE student

Dear S.,

First RELAX!!!I just want to say it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and you need to give yourself a big pat on the back. Your daughter will do fine

Please don't think that you have to send your daughter to preschool. I worked for years with K-2 children and part of my job was to screen them for readiness. Some of the things we looked for were letter and number recognition, being able to do simple grouping exercises, color and shape identification, skills like being able to use a pencil or crayon, sissors, paintbrush. Social skills are important too, does she play well with others? Does she understand how to share? These are learned skills. It also helps if she knows how to tie her shoes and get in and out of her clothes when she uses the restroom.

If you want to work on sounds, in addition to beginning sounds, ask her for ending sounds too and introduce word families... rhyming words. The "at" family (one example)... bat,cat,fat,hat,etc. When you use the same ending it teachs two things at once.

Lastly, I have to tell you... I saw kids come into my K class with a huge range of skills every year. Some kids could read and write and others couldn't say their abc's. It's normal to have a wide range of knowledge, backgrounds, and skill levels. Don't worry about your daughter finding her place she will fit in just fine. We need to let our children be children for as long as they can... they grow up far to fast.

Good Luck to you and your family

Hi there. If you are a low-income household, you may qualify for low-income preschools.

If you're in Sunnyvale, then check this out (otherwise you can probably google your city and low income preschool)
http://sunnyvale.ca.gov/Departments/Office+of+the+City+Ma...
State sponsored Preschool Programs
State Preschools are part-day comprehensive developmental programs for three to five year old children from low-income families. The programs emphasize parent education and encourage parent involvement. In addition to basic preschool education activities, other components include health, nutrition, social services, and staff development. These programs are administered through local educational agencies, colleges, community action agencies, and private non-profit agencies. For more information about State Preschool Programs located in Sunnyvale (at Columbia Middle School & Cherry Chase Elementary), please contact ###-###-####.

Otherwise, as a current first grade teacher and having taught kindergarten as well, I can tell you that children who have not attended preschool often have difficulties when they enter kindergarten. But my experience is also in a demographic where most children have had at least 1-2 years of preschool, so those children who lack preschool experience play "catch up" and often lose self esteem because they feel dumb. But if you are in an area where not all of the kinders have had preschool experience, maybe there won't be a gap.

Here is a list of skills that a "very prepared" kindergartner would be able to do...
- recognize most upper and lower case letters
- know a few (if not all) of the letter sounds
- be able to write upper and lower case letters
- be able to write own name using one capital and the rest lowercase
- be able to write a few 3 letter words (e.g. bus, sun, and, the)
- begin to notice what letter sounds are in the beginning of words
- recognize shapes and colors
- point to words as you read them
- count 1-30
- cut neatly with scissors
- color in the lines using crayons

Good luck!

S.- let me ask you this. Are you worried about what others think you should raise your daughter or are you thinking you have not taught her enough?? Quit worrying about what others are doing- not everyone can afford putting thier child in a school away from thier parents for $500/month or more- so don't pressure yourself.
Why are you worrying about her being behind, behind what? She is 4yrs old, how much more can she learn from a stranger that you are paying for instead of her own mother who is listening/talking/playing with her every day in her education?
And you are pregnant? Of course, you don't need that extra expense or worry about gas and high prices for child care when you are doing just fine at home with her watching her grow up and beign with you. You are her 1st teacher, and you know the best way to raise your child. You are doing great, congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to mommy world!! Take care!!

S.-
My twins just entered kinder this year, we were fortunate to be able to send them to preschool for a few years.

My observations of all the kids entering kinder were:
-the ones that did not have preschool experience had difficulty in adjusting to 1) leaving their parents 2) sitting quietly 3) focus 4)listening to instructions given by someone other than their parent and 5) learning to adjust to a large group.

-academically the preschool kids are about a grade ahead, but the teacher will structure the class so that all children are learning (or re=learning) the basics (counting to 20, writing their name in upper and lower case, basic math fundamentals of sorting, patterns etc.)

The first 4-6 weeks of kinder is to get all students comfortable in their environment.

I think that your daughter will be fine academically. I would encourage playdates with groups of other children and starting to get her comfortable with leaving you for an extended period of time.

Good luck!
K.
Mom to Taylor and Dylan 8-03

My kid is 18months old so I don't have much experience on it. But I think she will do kindergarden without any problem. There are a lot of parents that homeschool their kids and they kids do brilliant. Here some resources about homeschooling, etc:

http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
http://www.hsc.org/
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum.html
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

Hi S.!

I live in Rancho Cordova also! I am sure your daughter will be just fine and not be behind at all, sounds like you have done alot with her, but you might consider putting her in a school at least the spring semester, 2 reasons. 1 to get not only her, but you used to the seperation, it can be difficult and it might be easier now before she gets into K and HAS to be there everyday! My second reason is to get her used to being with other kids her age and socializing. I put my daughter in a parent participiation preschool through Old Marshall Adult Education. She attended school on Bradshaw and 50 in the old school house! Yes it is a real school! They had a morning program and then the teacher taught an afternoon program at Sequioa Elementary which is also in the area, I believe the cost was $270 for a semester and we were able to make 2 payments. The program was 5 days week 2 1/2 hours a day and the parent had to work in the class one day a week. The class gets to go on lots of fun field trips too! I didn't always take my daughter all 5 days. + you mentioned you had another child on the way, again with the seperation, it might be better to do it before the baby is bron, so your daughter doesn't put the babyu being born and her having to go to school as it is the baby's fault. Not that she would, but sometimes children feel like they are getting pushed aside because someone else is coming to take thier place, if she is already used to being away from you she won't connect being sent away to school everyday and being because of the baby. JUST A Thought, ultimately she is your baby girl and you know what is best! GOOD LUCK!!! If you need any other info, please don't hesitate to contact me!

Good Morning S. -

I just want to say that I took my daughter to a pre-K program put on by First 5 program and it was wonderful!!! I can't say enough good stuff about the program, it was great. They pretty much teach the kids everything that a pre-school would teach them and the best part is that it is free!!! I would look to see if you have this program in your community. Look in the phone book or call a local school district and I'm sure they could steer you in the right direction. My daughter loved going and we started when she was about 2 years old. My daughter now goes to pre-school but she talks about the kids academy all the time. It's a great program and I would definitely look into it. It will be also great for you, I enjoyed meeting all the new moms and forming new friendships. Good Luck:)

Hello S. J -

Relax - she will be just fine!! I love the idea of preschool as a rule. It teaches them so much more than just the alphabet. My suggestion to find a preschool - look into parks and rec department of where you live. In Citrus Heights, where I live, there is a wonderful program and relatively in expensive. Both my kids went through it. It is only 3 hours a day, two or three days a week. It may be difficult to get into the school as it has already started but you never know.

Here is the CA kindergarten standards. Before you read it please understand that this is what they should know at the END of kindergarten. There are language arts, social studies, math and science standards. You can look at it to get a guideline of what they are studying. http://www.teachingfirst.net/standardskinder.htm

I return to my point - relax she will be fine. If you are working with her, reading to her and learning with her she will be just fine!!

Hi S.,
So many children in our society today have adult schedules and many do not have the choice but to get dropped off early in the morning and picked up after 5pm and spend far too many hours away from home. Allowing your child to have more time at home and more time with you will isn't something to feel guilty about. Have you talked with parents about how rushed they feel in the morning? How they fight with their child every morning trying to get them off to school and they to work on time, while eating their breakfast in the car.
I am a stay at home mom and I'm also a certified AMI Montessori teacher, trained to work with 21/2 to 7 yr old children. In the past I've taught at many preschools and I was always heart broken when I had a student who clearly was not ready for preschool or they weren't ready for the schedule they needed to have because both of their parents had to work.
I still believe in preschool, but I feel that in an ideal world children should begin their preschool experience part-time and transitions slowly into a full day program. I also support a homeschooling philosophy and have seen the benefits of it as well.
Instead of looking at your situation and feeling guilty about it, you could look at it as a wonderful opportunity to explore learning with your child. Go to the library, where they have weekly preschool events, not to mention all the wonderful resources. Take her to Museums, look online to gocitykids.parentsconnect.com/ and look up free or inexpensive programs for preschool aged children. You could even temporarily get involved with the homeschooling community in your area. That would be a great way for you to get involved with other parents and find out what the resources are out in your area.
It's also a great way to have regular playdates with families that aren't sending their children to preschool and give your daughter an opportunity to connect with peers.
Honestly, their are so many options out there and your daughter is lucky to get this time with you and you with her...So, please don't feel guilty your child will learn with you and be absolutely fine once she does start school.
Blessings,
-M.

She'll be fine. My oldest daughter knew more than she needed by the time she was 4, but I put her in preschool so it wasn't such a shock. It was a christian preschool that spent more time on bible study than kindergarten readiness and I was fine with that because the academic part she got at home. Just make sure you take her to lots of places where she can interact with other children. You don't want the social part of school to be a big shock for her... i.e. sharing, taking turns, waiting in line, raising her hand and waiting to be called on, etc.

Kitchen Table Play and Learn is a book I wrote with a friend with academically enriching crafts and activities parents can do at home with their children. It sounds like your daughter is well on her way, but you may want to use it like I did and get some social interaction with other kids her age. We took turns at each others houses and prepared crafts for a handful of children (no more than 3 if you're just starting out). Not only did we get to spend precious one-on-one time with the kids, but they honed their preschool development skills in a group, so they had to do all the things I mentioned above that happen in a classroom. Let me know if you'd like more information about it. It was a really fun experience and our kids were totally ready for school.

You're doing a great job! She really will be just fine.

A.

Hi S. -!

Don't you dare feel guilty -!! :) There is nothing wrong with not sending your child to preschool. Your daughter is young - she will be going to school for the next 17 or 18 years of her life if she goes to college - let her be little - and enjoy the time with her. I've sent some of my children to preschool the year before kindergarten and it is a big organized playdate - that's all. They do organized crafts, learn letters and numbers, play with friends - nothing that you cannot organize at home. In Kindergarten they want you to know the letters upper and lower case and numbers to 100 by the END of kindergarten - your daughter is already ahead. None of my kids learned to read before first grade, and 2 out of 4 of them have since tested into the gate system - it really and truly does not matter. And parents who force to many things too early rob their children of their childhood. (Can you tell I have an opinion about this?) :)

Around here, preschool is more a babysitting and social option for both parents and children more than an actual school - as it should be.

Good luck - it sounds like you are a wonderful mom -

There are workbooks you can buy for pre-school and pre-k. Those would help direct you on what you need to work on. I'm sure she'll be fine! Take care, C.

Hi S., I wouldn't worry about it. My sister has 3 kids. I have 2. Both of mine went to preschool. My daughter went to a private one, my son just went to a community center. Not one of my sisters kids went. I see no difference between them. They are all so smart and have had no problems at school. I think you are doing a great thing by working with her. I would just keep doing it a little at a time and make it fun. She will be fine. Good luck.

It does my heart good to read the responses to your question S.. Moms are realizing that pushing their children isn't the answer... Hallelujah! Pay attention to the advice you've been given, and as one person said "relax". Too many moms are having to put their children into the care of another person (whether childcare or preschool) because they have to go to work. I work in the field, because I know it's a need, and have a natural desire and ability to work with small children. But, my heart sometimes cries for the children and the Moms that they are missing so much during these years ... and can never get them back. You are so blessed to have your husband working a job that allows you to be home with your children. Enjoy it!

I'm sure she will be fine academically if you are working with her at home, but most preschools concentrate on building social skills with peers and learning to follow directions. As long as your do lots of playdates with her peers she should do okay. If she doesn't spend a lot of time with kids her age then school can be a big shock to those kids. Also, if she isn't used to separating from you that can be hard on kids when they start school. If you never leave her, you may want to start leaving her with friends and family for small separations and slowly making them longer until she gets used to it. If you are looking for a lower cost option for preschool check into your local community center. Ours offers a parent participation program that is quite inexpensive compared to that of other programs. Good luck.

Absolutely NOT!!! Do not worry. This time she is spending with you is more valuable than any preschool, especially if you are enjoying it! You don't need to teach her letters, etc. They do that in kindergarten because most kids don't really learn it in preschool anyway. I'd work more on social skills, listening, following directions, having some playdates, etc. This is what will make or break her kindie experience. Most important thing is DO NOT feel guilty. YOu are doing a fabulous job I'm sure and no preschool could compare with the secure base she is getting from being at home.

If you drill your daughter now and again on her letters, shapes, etc. there's no reason to think she has to be behind when she starts kindgarten. If you look on your school district's website, you can probably find an idea of what they will expect her to know when she starts. Also, just to give yourself a break-- have you looked into cooperatives? My son went to one here in Palo Alto-- I had to work one day a week and help with maintenance, but it only cost $150/month when he went three days a week and $170/montq1`h when he went four.

In my area the local high school has a pre-school on site for their child developement class. It was great for my kids, lots of attention. also the local jr. college has a pre-shool program. these are very affordable programs.
Hope this helps.

She will learn all the things you mentioned- even if she is a bit behind in Kindergarten (which it sounds like she won't be!) she will catch up quickly. I think the important part of a preschool program of any variety is learning social skills. If you can figure out a way to give this to her early on, she'll be fine. Neither of my kids went to a traditional preschool. Instead we had an informal parent co-op with 5 other families that met 3 times a week. We had a paid "teacher", and I ended up actually taking over that position when my older daughter went to kindergarten and I did it for 3 years. I'm starting up a new group now in Berkeley. I would be happy to tell you a little about how it works if you want to start a group like that. It's hard sometimes to find other kids who aren't in preschool for your kid to hang out with, but you might try looking into homeschooling groups or other more informal playgroups (maybe on Craigslist?). I think it's important for kids to have a regular group of friends to hang out with. But I wouldn't worry at all about the academic side. Let me know if you want to know more about how to start a co-op. Its much cheaper than a regular preschool, and has a lot of added benefits!

Hi S.,
Have you tried parent participation preschools? I know that they are much less expensive and some even offer financial assistance. I am not sure where you live, but there are some great ones in Los Gatos.
S.

No worries. I have three children, my oldest is 10 and in the 5th grade, he never went to any preschool before K. He did just fine! All they expect is for them to know there alphabet and write their name correctly (capital and lower case, know how to count to at least 10 preferrably 20, but you have time to work on that with her. You can teach her anything, so can some videos and games. I can't afford to send mine either, but they will all be fine. They have great methods for teaching them to read once they are in K. so she will be fine. Concentrate on be stress free for the new baby and enjoy your four year old before she's off to K. Once they start it goes by so fast. It was just yesterday that I put Journey in K. and now he's in 5th grade. I wish you all the best, she will do great she has a supportive mom who cares that she succeeds.

Love,
A.

None of my 3 kids went to pre-school. I sorta went to pre-school, but only because it was a daycare that did child developement also. And all 3 of my kids are WAY ahead of most of their peers in most areas. my oldest can't spell to save his life but I suspect it is more due to a minor case of dyslexia causing this rather than the lack of pre-school experience.

If you can't afford it don't sweat it. She'll be fine.

One of my feelings for not putting my kids in pre-school was that I only get 5 years where they are ALL MINE and I wanted to savor and treasure those 5 years. So I did. Plus I couldn't afford pre-school either, single income military pay isn't exactly leaving you with extra money each month.

As so many otehr people said, you're doing a great job & she sounds ready for K without any extra help. However, depending on where you live, there may be some free preschool programs around. For example, in Contra Costa First Five offer free preschool activities for ages 3 to 5 year olds who are not in a preschool. So if there is a First Five in your area, you could give them a call.

No she wont be behind. They will teach her so much in K. Some school districts have programs that they test the child to see if they are ready and if the do not pass ( I guess) they have to go to this 2 week Pre K school to get them ready.
My daughter had been to preschool but wasn't in it while she was 4. She started K recently. She knew her letters and their sounds, but refused to write them or her name. The first day, she came home with a million things that had her funny Kindergartener handwriting with her name. I think your daughter will do fine since she knows and can write such things.
What is important about preschool is that they are socially ready to enter Kindergarten. There was a kid in my older daughters K class who could read at 2nd grade level, but cried for his mom for a month. So i don't think its so much intellectually, but socially.

You should try your communty centers and see what they have to offer for classes in her age group that DON'T require your participation so you can see how she does. They are not usually expensive and it will get her used to following a teachers' instruction and teach her how to appropriately act in a class like situation. In Santa Rosa, there is a 6 week course for kids pre K that is 3 days a week. The cost is $180 and its like 6 hours a day. Its perfect for a one time fee but it'll give her a sense to be away from you and not be so shocking those first days at school. I think it was like $180. And its not a constant expenditure.

Have fun, good luck, and congrats on the new arrival!

She needs to play with kids her age in a group to develop her social skills. Perhaps yo ucan join a mom's group or start taking her to a local church Sunday school just so she gets the hang of participating in a group. Also, the library in Mountain House has pre-school story time every Tuesday at 11am, it's free and lasts about 30 minutes. Your local library probably has a similar program - stories and singing.
Also, I found some books at Barnes & Noble that outline what kids need to be ready for Kindergarten and include nursery rhymes, fables and other fun stories along with basic science, culture, math, reading readiness activities.

Hi S.,

She may not be behind academically but preschool teaches more than just that. They learn how to play together, how to solve problems and conflicts, how to listen, how to socialize, and so much more. Your daughter will probably do just fine in kindergarten but our preschool really stresses kindergarten readiness because so much is expected of our kids these days.
They look at academic readiness but also social and emotional readiness. I'm a SAHM with a 4 year old and a 16 month old with special needs. My daughter has been going to preschool since she was 2 1/2 and has thrived in that environment. I know private preschools are really expensive but there are co-op options as well as preschools offered through the rec center. I really think its worth looking into these options. Good luck!

Sounds like your daughter will do fine academically. Other things to look at are how much social interaction she has with kids her age. Playgroups and park visits are free and a great way to allow her to socialize with kids her age. Please don't feel guilty. She is so lucky to have a Mom who is home with her evereyday and takes the time to work with her. I taught elementary school K and 1st for many years and a supportive family is a great start for her love of learning. Enjoy this time you have with her. It goes so fast. :)

Depending on what area you live in there should be pre schools and pre-k programs that are low cost or no cost to you based on income. My sons school has a daycare center that takes care of babies all the way up to 8th grade before and after school and they charge by your family income. Good luck.

I think it sounds like you are doing a fabulous job with her. Mayby the group experiences and peer interactions could be for free by participating in the weekly park playdates that happen in this city . I hear they are at Frederick st every thursday AM and I am sure those Mothers could tell you where else. I thought that our public schools had pre k for free these days? I have 4 kids and I have to say that the ones who went to preschool[have had an easier time in school and better preschools helped more than the daycare type but I believe you can do those lessons at home too except for the socialization parts. These days are different than 15 years ago in that they want them to know so much more before they even get to school.
IMHO
J.

Hi S.-
YOu sound like a very dedicated and involved mother. Pre-school is not one of those things where they will or they won't be. I never attended pre-school, but my older sister did. We both score in the same percentile for most subjects depending on where our specific talents lie. I believe if you read with her, teach her the basics of math, and get her excited about learning, she will be right there with the other kids, if not ahead.
Do you have a library card? Maybe take one day a week as your library trip and let her pick out some books. YOu can also go on line and search out puzzles and activities that will improve her cognitive abilities. I think what you are doing is what alot of parents who have to work would rather be doing, and pre-school intercedes. All I can say is READ READ READ to her like you already are, practice her numbers, and keep it fun. Get a science book with projects like building home made volcanoes or an astronomy book with a star gazing guide and the history/mythology behind it. The most important thing is to keep her mind fresh, and it sounds like you are doing just that. Test her limits and challenge her, encouraging her every step of the way. With all of the comfort that can be offered, your daughter will be just fine as long as you stay involved and encourage her.
Lastly, get her into music. While some people are by far more gifted than others, studies show that children involved in music studies, regardless of talent, are much more calm and reasonable, have a better attitude, and retain more knowledge. Their learning continues to go up. A great documentary to watch on it is from 60n minutes on a program called el sistema. Here is a link:http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/11/60minutes/main#...
Good luck and keep up the great parenting!
-E. M

Ok for all of the moms saying that she'll be fine, I just wanted to say I went through it and my daughter really struggled with Kindergarten. She was 4 turning 5 and my husband was against "paying" for school, saying "she doesn't need it" needless to say we got into many arguments, lol. She was so excited, couldn't wait, knew a lot of the basics like your daughter, but the problem was the class was full of 5 year olds turning 6 so they had another year experience on her. We would get 10 pages of homework a week, (front and back) plus projects etc and we were working on homework for hours it seemed like. A lot of the kids had been in preschool not one year but most two to THREE years! She did go on to first grade, but the teacher held several kids back and she told me that she got by on the skin of her teeth and the only way she could go into 1st grade was if she went to summer school- which she did (and LOVED by the way).

Just an update - my daughter is in 3rd grade now, she is still struggling a bit; we have continued to go to summer school, just to give her that extra edge and she is just now starting to blend with the other kids academically, but I don’t think she will ever be in the top of her class. Would I change it? I don’t know – she has met some wonderful friends, she is a very happy child, but sometimes I do wonder what would have happened if I would have waited a year.

If you do decide to send her in, spend as much extra time as you can, send her to summer school weather the teacher encourages it or not, it will just help her all that much more.

I always say it is in how you market the information to the kids. I never let her see that I am worried about her, I am always encouraging etc. When it came to summer school she was so excited because now she wouldn’t be bored all summer, (I also threw in the added bonus of swimming lessons right after summer school, so they would have something fun to do that day too.) Keep school fun and they will continue to always want to learn!

Good Luck and do whatever you feel is right for your family!!!

Hi there, I am a 43 yr. young!! mother of one boy, and I just wanted to say that it should be no problem waiting, especially if you are helping her already at home. my son did not go until he was 5, many parents said to me that he should go, they send their kids already when they turn 3, but that was too early for me. but also, I knew my son, he is a quick learner and had already learned a lot at home. (he was also learning two languages at the same time) children are sponges and learn very quickly. For my son it was definitely no disadvantage keeping him at home until he was 5. he learned a lot with us. he also had lots of contacts, friends to play with through our church and also neighbours, and play groups. I refused to give in to pressure from other people, because I knew that my son was learning at home, and knew what is best for him and our whole situation, including financial. we also couldn't afford it. He integrated well into kindergarten and then first grade when he turned 6. Right now he is in the 7th grade and getting top grades!! besides the fact, the time at home with mom is so precious, enjoy every moment, cause time goes by all too quickly, don't we all know!!! hope that is helpful. L.

S.,

Don't worry too much. It sounds like you are doing the right things for your daughter. Read books to her also. That will help her develop a love for books and reading. Many moms choose to homeschool their children. You can learn a lot from these moms.

Go to your school district office and find out what the expectations are for children entering Kindergarten. They will give you a list of things that your child should be able to do by next September. This will give you concrete things you can work on.

One thing that preschool helps with is socialization. The separation anxiety may be difficult when your daughter starts kindergarten. See if there is a mom's group in your neighborhood and try to socialize with them.

Not everyone can afford preschool. I don't know how much your husband makes but look into HeadStart. You may be able to qualify for that program. Also, ask about a part-time situation for your daughter in pre-school. Two - three days a week may be within your price range.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your next baby!

My youngest son began school in first grade at age 6. He did not attend kindergarten. Like your daughter, my son Jeremy is now age 11 is bright and intelligent. He is thriving in 6th grade. Jeremy is self motivated and a high achiever. I have no doubt that taking care of him at home was far greater for his personal development than any preschool program could offer.

I have two son, neither was ever placed in preschool. I have been a stay-at-home mom so I could give them a strong foundation before they began school.

Our oldest son did attend kindergarten at age 5. In highsight I wish we had waited until he was a year or two older before starting him. I think he would be a better student later on, if he had been older. This son is now 23 and a hardworker, with 2 jobs.

I do not think preschool is a requirement for your daughter.
It sounds to me that you are teaching her in daily life and she will do just fine whenever, you decide to start her in school.

My children attend a private Christian school so maybe their are different requirements in the public school sector than I am aware of.

There is no reason to feel guilty. Your daughter is ONLY 4.
Once she begans the education process, your life is never the same. Why do you want to rush it???

Please savor what you have right now and one the moment is right, you'll know. Listen to your heart and figure out what is in her best interest. You cannot compare your situation to all of your friends.

I hope you are able to make a decision that works well for your family.

Don't worry S.! Sure it would be great if she was in preschool-it wouldn't hurt-but a family has to do what a family has to do. I am an elementary school teacher and am taking 2 years off to spend time with my second child and my wonderful husband is the only one working for our family. I know how tough this can be on the family finances. There just isn't enough money to go round. As long as she is with you, being loved, and engaged in activities with you and other children throughout the day she will be JUST fine. You sound like a GREAT MOM who really loves and cares for your daughter-who could ask for more!

Keep working on stuff with her and look into some community play groups that will help her with socialization. Other than that-enjoy your time with her as she will be off to Kinder next year and continue on with school for the next 20+ years. Think of this time as a GIFT!

MG

It sounds like your daughter is keeping up with her peers cognitively, however you may want to join a play group to ensure that she is ready socially for kindergarten. Most communities have "Mother's Clubs" where you can find a play group. Ideally, your play group sessions should include times when you are not there, to help your daughter get used to interacting on her own and alleviate any separation anxiety she may feel. If she panics when you leave, start with very short times away from the group (5-10 minutes) and work up to 1-2 hours or more. It sounds like you are a very involved & caring mother -- I'm sure everything will work out fine!

Your daughter is fine. She already seems ahead of Kindergartners.

My son went to preschool when he was 3. He never learned his ABCs!!! We were so upset, he didn't go back the next year, but stayed at home with a babysitter. She worked with him and I worked with him. He is now in Kindergarten and the teacher wanted to know what preschool he went to because he seems so advanced!

Your daughter is smart and bright. Do not worrry! She will be just fine!

In my opinion you are doing everything right. The more time your daughter can be home learning from you the better. I worked in a kindergarten class as a teacher's assistant for years and by the sound of it your little one is going to be ahead of the game! You're doing great...keep it up!
R.

You've gotten a lot of good respsonses hear that I thoght of as well. My only other comments: 1) just cuz the state says she can go to school at 5, doesn't mean she has to to. A lot of kids aren't ready for K at barely 5 years old & there are many of us, myself included, who send their kids to K when they're closer to 6. Our older son has a Nov. b-day so he was 5 3/4 when he started K & it worked out great cuz, socially, emotionally & maturity-wise, he was better prepared for K. 2) Get in touch w/your local public school to get a copy of their guidelines for K readiness & use that as your check list. Hope this helps & good luck!

Hi S.,
I think your daughter will be fine. You sound as though you are doing everything you can to help her. althought nursery education is important (socially) it is more important that your daughter has you with her. She is lucky, so many kids are being placed way to young with strangers. I am a SAHM and my child will be staeting pre school soon. I am sad as it has been the most wodeful 3 years of my life.
Good luck with No.2
Y.

S.,
Check your local churches. You should be able to find one for reasonable 3 hours a day 2-3 days a week.
We did everything at home, and my son is way ahead,...lot's of play dates, but the only reason I put my son in preschool is for organized play, which is really important for them to learn so that they are not disruptive when they do get to school.
Also, you should check with your local elementary school, most have a preschool program that is free, and you can go in and check it out. Hope that helps

I don't know if you already do this, or are comfortable with the idea, but one alternative would be to get your daughter involved in Sunday School. It would provide a (socially) similar environment to that of a pre-school. Many churches offer excellent Sunday and mid-week programs for young children. They learn how to participate in a lesson or planned activity, and also how to socialize in a setting without mom around. AND it's free!
I'm sure your daughter will be just fine, but if you are eager to get her more familar with a classroom setting, the right church program will give her a good taste for what's to come in Kindergarten.
If church isn't an option for you, I know they have martial arts programs for kids which (if you find the right place) can be lots of fun, but again, there is a cost.
Best of luck to you!
Melanie

Hi S.,
Looks like you're feeling better about having your daughter at home. It sounds to me like she will be fine. I just wanted to let you know about a program in our area. Vallejo and Benicia school districts both have a program called Stepping Stones. It is structured like a pre-school but parents attend with their kids. You have a choice of going once or twice a week for about 2 or 2 1/2 hours. It is a great way for kids to get a taste of school structure and get some socializing. Younger siblings are welcome to attend. This program is offered through the adult education program (technically it is "parenting education") and it is very inexpensive. It was $50 a semester when I attended. I don't know if your school district offers it, but it is worth checking out. My son loved it.

Hi S.,

It sounds like you are working with her a lot and she already knows much of what they work on in a Pre-K. I'm not sure where you live, but if your city, or a nearby one, has a Park & Recreation department, they often offer inexpensive Pre-K programs. If you are still concerned, you should look on your city's website to see what they might offer.

Good luck,

H.

No, I don't think she will be. I think the most important thing to do is to support your husband's efforts by living like you have enough...so that means within your means, so he feels like HE isn't behind. Right after that, you can instill a love for reading and learning in general by sharing with your daughter books, museums, etc. that give you wonderful memories together. If she starts school with a love of books, and proud of herself for what ever she can do, she will be "ahead" of a lot of kids in some ways.

Hi S.,

I just wanted you to know that I have 3 children. My oldest did not have any preschool and she was one of the top kids in her class. I worked with her all the time before she started school. We read all the time. Also, her pediatrician said that because we read to her all the time and she went to church on Sundays, where she interacted with other children and had a class setting there, that she did not need preschool.

My second daughter did have some preschool, but it was a coop social preschool and there was a little pre k work but most of it was working on social interactions. We worked with her at home too. She is now in first and is doing 2nd grade work.

My third child is at home now and will be starting school this fall. He is slightly ahead of your daughter, but a majority of the kids that start school do not know most of the alphabet. They can barely count to ten. Some do not know their shapes or colors. Your daughter is right on track to be very successful at school. You will also be amazed at how much faster she progresses when she starts school.

Keep reading to her and keep practicing the word games. The biggest things kindergarten teachers want students to know before they get there is how to write their name with an upper case first letter and lower case proceeding letters.

I hope this helps.

D.

Dear S.,
Your daughter is getting the absolute best education: learning at her mother's side. Beautiful. It really sounds like you and her have a great relationship, much better than any school could provide. Of course she won't be behind, she'll be ahead because she is receiving love and special care from her mom and dad.
I'm sure your little one will do just fine in Kindergarten.
All my best, S.

There are state funded preschools.. what about those options?

Where do you live because i know in San Francisco and San Mateo counties there is free pre-school as part of First 5 California's "Free Preschool for All" program. here is a county map-- choose your county and check out whether there is free preschool. http://www.ccfc.ca.gov/county/county_map.asp

It sounds like everything your doing is good with her. What you hve been working on is want she will need for when she starts school. The only concern would be is how she is socially since she is not any preschool. Does she have a chance to play with other kids? You might want to see if there is anytypes of playgroups that she can go to with other little kids. The social part would be the only concern if she hasn't been around kids.

I'll make this short but there is also a preschool thru parks and rec. a few days a week for a few hours a day. Perfect for socializing. and pretty cheap.

S.,

If you are working with her and giving her opportunities to socialize with other children, your daughter will probably be fine.

My oldest went to an open structure pre-school and was not really prepared for school...reading and writing. He was too young and should probably have been held back, but his Kindergarten teacher said he would be fine. He struggled in elementary through 4th grade and since then he has been an honors student almost every semester.

My middle child attended a home daycare that did some Pre-K learning. He did not pay attention and did not like the structure of it all...he just wanted to play. I was concerned about him, but he is just too smart and has been earning top grades with little effort.

My point is that it does not really matter what you do...she will either be ready or she won't. Considering that you are working with her and she knows the letters and how to write them, she will probably be fine. You may want to try to meet one of the Kindergarten teachers in the school your daughter will attend to get some tips on what Kinder-readiness activities you can do at home.

I am in a similar situation...I would like my daughter to attend a structured preschool, but we cannot afford it. The home daycare she is at does some preschool activities, but I feel she could use the structure. Putting her in a preschool would cost us $200+ more than we are paying now...

Good luck and try not to worry too much...kids are resilient and all seem to come through it okay. :0)

Thank you for posting this question. I have a son that just turned two last June and we've been playing with the same peers we met in mommy and me when he was born. Of all of these kids, mine is the only one who is not yet attending some sort of pre-school. I don't understand the rush, but now I'm feeling so much pressure (self-imposed, I'm sure) to get him in to pre-school and he's not even two and a half yet! He's still in diapers! I am very much like you and have the opportunity to stay home with my son while my husband brings in our only income. We've managed to figure out how to make things happen for us on one income, but we don't have the extra money to get him into pre-school and I don't even want to deal with that right now. Seeing the responses you got to this question really put me at ease and confirmed that I do know what's best for my son, as you do with your daughter. It really does sound like you're doing a great job!

-H.

Dear S.,
Did you already look into parent-coop-style of preschools. Most of the time because you are required to work in the preschool it is a lot less expensive. My children are now much older (10 and 12) and when my son started twice a week for 3 hours I didn't feel like I had a choice because I only spoke German at home and wanted to keep it that way, but for me this arrangement worked out and we also are a single-income-family.
A little about me: 40 years old stay-at-home mom with two kids (12 and 10 years old).

S.,

Have you looked into a Head Start program. Here's the listing of schools
http://www.sanjoseca.gov/clerk/CommitteeAgenda/ACA/2_27_0...

Stephanie

Hi,
Your daughter sounds like she is right on track. Can you get her in some play groups so she is around other kids her age? If so maybe you can play school with them. She will need to be able to follow directions, wait her turn, share and line up and little things like that. if you have her play with some kids her age and get them to practice circle time and takeing turns, raising their hand and social things she will do fine in Kindergarten

S.,
I have three kids, they all went to preschool. She sounds like she knows most of what they learn in kindergarten anyway. I would only add in working on her colors and shapes, then she should be all set to go.
W.

Hi S.,

I am a kindergarten teacher and I think that your daughter is already well well prepared for kindergarten! :) Continue to work with her and read with her at home. The California standards for kindergarten can be very overwhelming for a parent at first glance but they do get there and I think you have given her a great start. The thing I notice in my students is that preschool helps prepare them for the "school experience." (learning to listen when someone else talks, taking turns, sharing, waiting, participating in a group) That being said, some of my best behaved/academically high students did not attend preschool but have had parents who were involved and took the extra steps to socialize their children and work with them at home. :) But as another mentioned, the most teachers want for you to do is to TALK to your child and expose them to all different kinds of things.

S.,

Have you ever heard of a Cooperative Preschool before? A coop is a school where the tuition is usually a lot lower because the care giver works at the school one day a week. There are usually mandatory weekly meetings as well. I believe preschool is an important part of a child's education. The child gets to learn so many things while playing. The social part is so important to. It is also a great way to be involved in your child's education. My son went to a preschool in San Lorenzo but you can find them in Castro Valley, San Leandro, Berkeley, SF - they are around. You might call the 4C's and see if they have a listing in your area.

You know S. I have a three year old who is really smart as well and she is currently in preschool but I think that it is a little over rated in my opion your daughter is getting a better education because of the one on one time that you give her. This will make her a little more advance then others that might be attending preschool and the only reason why my daughter is attending is because myself and my husband work full time and she needs to be socialized other wise she wouldn't be going because we really can't afford it either on two incomes so don't worry just make sure she gets socialized by taking her to the park and planning play dates with other kids. Once upon a time most children didn't attend preschool so don't feel guilty.

You might check into your local school district sometimes they offer free preschool at the elementary school or discounted. Another thing they want children to know is how to tie their shoes. Teachers spend alot of time tying shoes during the day. Does your daughter have playdates? Sometimes they think the child needs to get used to being away from mom and playing and sharing with other children. It sounds like you are trying very hard I am sure she will be fine:)

I can't answer your question about whether she will be behind or not but if you would like to see about getting her into a pre-school program check with Beanstalk. You may qualify for aid which ends up costing you nothing. Hope this helps.

S.,
School today has become a chore for even the little ones. It is supposed to be fun and encourage cooperation. Preschool is not necessary if your child has play groups and you spend time with her educating in fun ways - which it sounds like you have. I read that in Finland all kids start school at age 7 and they have some of the best test scores in the world! By the time she gets to Kindergarten other kids may start losing their natural curiosity to learn because of all the pressures put on them so early. Your daughter may have a love of learning and excel! If you still want her to do some type of schooling, why not look into a co-op. They are very very inexpensive b/c the parents contribute time into the school playing various roles. See if there are any in your area. I think there is one in Novato, Larkspur or Corte Madera and San Anselmo. I'm sure there are some in the city too. Relax. You have not set your daughter back in any way. She was lucky to have you to be her teacher!

i am a prek teacher and will give you all the information that she needs so that you can work with her if you want. I can even send you monthly sheets just like I do for my parents here at the school.
Let me know. Get her as prepared as possible but make it fun to. I have been teaching for 19 years and have what you need if you want it.

It looks like you've gotten alot of responces but I just wanted to throw my support into . Sounds like your doing a great job and what a wonderful gift your giving your daughter, time. Our world tells us that we need to send our children away at such a young age. It's not nessesary at all. So long as your doing engaging and enriching activities she'll probabley be ahead. Make time for play dates, the park so she can make friends and have fun with these special years. I just struggled with this myself. My first two children went to preschool and now there is no money to send my third. I felt really bad at first that she wasn't going to get the same experience. So we do preschool at home. I have play dough, small moter skill activities, we do cooking, go to park play days, have a friend over. Lots of reading stories and songs, music playing. This is a favorite time of year for me with all the pretty leaves falling and pumpkins. Go on a nature walk and collect things for a collage. My daughter is loving cutting and glueing on pumpkin shapes. Have fun ! Oh and congadulations on the next baby.

I am a former kindergarten teacher....I am taking some time off while my kids are young. I want to tell you that you are doing a great job!!! All teachers want you to do is TALK TALK, to your kids a lot and expose them to many differnt things. You are doing that!! You can get her the experience she needs in sitting still and following directions by simply taking her to the free storytime at the library. If kids get attention, love and a variety of experiences.....they will have everything they need to grow and blossom in school. good job!

When my kids were in preschool there was a kindergarten readiness test they had to take to see if they were ready for kindergarten or needed another year in preschool. I assisted with this test for all the kids and as I recall there were sissor skills, identifing shapes, putting the right object in the right shaped hole which requires hand eye coordination and finger dextarity. Simple puzzle skills. Threading a large needle and sewing on a card in addition to the alphabet, color, and writing skills. If you go to a school supply store you could probably find out what you need to home school your preschooler. Also contact the school district your child will be going to and see if they have a kindergarten readiness test. Good luck

Have looked into the parent participation/coop preschools? We paid 165/month at Mountain View Parent Nursery School. The parents put in time the the classroom and school.

I wouldn't worry about the academic stuff too much. It sounds like she knows letters and numbers. I would read a lot to her and let her play with kids a lot and focus on following instructions, sharing, taking turns, etc.

My son is in kindergarten this year and they start right at the beginning.
M.

S.,

You are doing everything right with teaching your daughter what she needs to know. She sounds very bright, asking questions of you and learning what she has so far. She's getting so much more out of the time you're spending with her than she could at a Pre-K. She's smart and will just take off when she gets to Kindergarten! All my kids were in some form of pre-school, mostly because I needed to work fulltime, but honestly, the only thing they had over the kids that didn't attend were that my kids knew how to follow directions (line up, sit down).

She'll be fine and she's SO lucky to be able to have you with her every day.

Hi S., don't worry, we're on the same boat, i'am SAHM to my 5 yr. old girl, 3yr.old boy and to my 20 mos. girl. My 5 yr. old daughter, just turned 5 last 9/20 and she never been in preschool or pre-Ks before she entered school last aug. because of our very tight budget.She doesn't even know how to write her name, the only thing she learned from home is ABC's and 123's plus the interaction from kids tv shows, but the good thing on her is, she has a very good memory and easy to pick-up things and instructions, now in 2 months time, my daugter knows how to write her name and write numbers. Please don't worry too much, the teachers are there for them to learn. God bless and good luck!

Don't buy the preschool hype. Studies show your daughter will actually be ahead in many ways, including social skills, by spending her time with loving parents. Check out http://www.universalpreschool.com/news/research.asp and enjoy your daughter knowing you are giving her the best (and sadly, rare) experience of her early years!!

Cheers,
J.

Leave the teaching to the teachers and focus on the values! She'll be fine. Besides, it sounds like she can already do more than most kindergarteners are required to do in this country! She'll be fine!
K. in EC

My son did not go to pre school because we couldnt afford it either, I went to wal-mart and even the dollar store and baught pre-k and K work books and worked with him at home, I told him every day he had to do a couple pages out of his "homework" book plus I read to him, I also felt very guilty, but you do what you have to do. The fact that you are worried means you are doing great! He started Kindergarten just fine and your daughter will too. Good Luck!
-R.

Hi S.,

Check with your local public school district. I know the one I retired from has free pre-kindergarten classes in some of their schools to help children such as yours prepare for K. Call your local school and ask to meet/talk with a K teacher about expectations for children entering K. Most importantly, read to your child, provide group situations where she has the opportunity to socialize
with other children her age, and make learning fun! Good luck. N.

Dear S.,

Have you considered a parent participation (also called "co-op") nursery school? They are much less expensive than drop-off preschools and have a wonderful track record at preparing children for school while "learning through play". One parent from each family donates a few hours of time a week in order to help out in the school under the direction of the professional teacher. It's fun to participate and meet the other families. It's also interesting to watch your child interact in a social setting. I learned as much from my sons' preschool as they did! We all loved it. You can find a listing of parent participation nursery schools at www.ccppns.org which is the California Council of Parent Participation Nursery Schools.

Regards,
L.

S., I am not sure if the first part of my message to you went through or not? There are pre-schools out there that the state will help you with partial or all of the money depending on your income, one of them is BeanStalk they are actually located on school grounds, there is also a place called Robla pre-school they are located out here by Rio Linda. The reason why I mention them, because maybe you could call them and see if they are able to give any information on a school that is close to you. Also I don't believe that your child will be behind most children are still learning there ABC's in kindergarten, I know because I have one there right now, they learn the letters and are learning to write them. Also there is a store called At report card and they have awesome stuff for our children, a lot of home schooled parents go there to purchase supplies.

Sincerely,
D. R

I think it is wonderful that you are already working with your daughter on letters, sounds and numbers. That is so important nowadays. Kindergarten is not what it used to be. If you keep reading with her daily and talking with her she will be fine academically. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job at home. I think preschool is great for the little ones to learn their social skills too. Also, it prepares them to know what school is like without mommy and daddy. We as parents forget how important it is to let go and let our little ones be independent. I do agree with you that preschools are expensive but there are some programs that are free or less inexpensive. I don't know if you have looked into your local city recreation center. I know they have tiny tot programs which are reasonable and very good. Also, some local elementary schools might have a preschool program available to you that are free. Hope that helps!

S.,

Your daughter will not be behind when she starts school next fall. My son did not go to any preschool, but we did a weekly free playgroup in Novato to work on gross and fine motor skills. I bought some pre-K workbooks from Costco to work with him everyday for at least an hour. He entered Kindergarten this fall and will be five in Nov. He is doing great and is exceeding expectations. The important thing that you are giving your daughter; that she will never get again in life; is a chance to be a kid. Once school starts that changes (not that he doesn't play/ goof off/ or be silly) but he is doing homework as I type this.
Our daughter will not attend preschool either, I prefer to do that myself when she is old enough.

Hope this helps,
A.

I asked about cutting back the number of days while my daughter was in preschool, and they told me that the numbers, letters, etc knowledge was not as important as the social interaction. Try to get your daughter involved in larger playdates... more than just one playmate at a time.

Also, there are coop preschools where the parents work at the school one day a week and the parents help to raise money for the school. I don't know where you live, but as an example, the coop preschool near me, in the Santa Cruz Mountains costs $100. per month, plus your time of course.

Good Luck to you!

She won't be behind as long as you work with her. Have you checked perschools through the city? You should try to get her involved in something for the social aspect.

Dont worry it sounds like she is on the right track. My daughter had no preschool at all. she was in the top of her kindergarden class. she did awsome and im sure your child will too. talk to other parents and get info on the kindergarden teachers so you can request a great one. If your in Lemoore,ca and your child will be going to Meadow lane Elementry let me know and i will recomend a great teacher.

I never went to preschool. I adjusted and did just fine in school. I don't think you need to worry.

We live in Roseville. Before my son (now 22 years old) could start kindergarten, he had to go through a screening test to be sure he was ready. I can't remember everything that was on the test, except I do remember he had to draw a stick figure--one with feet and hands (and even fingers, I think) scored better than one only a head, body, arms, and legs. You might check with your school district to see if they hav such a test, and if so what kinds of things are on it. If they won't tell you, maybe the parent of a current kindegartener or first grader could give you some suggestions. I volunteered in my son's kindergarten class every week, and I have to be honest--I could tell which kids had been to preschool and which had not. Theose kids often didn't know how to correctly hold a pencil or crayon or how to use scissors. Since you have been working with your daughter, she probably already knows those things. However, the thing that really made it obvious which kids had not been to preschool was that they could not stay on task--they would talk when the teacher was talking, they would get up and wander around the room, and they would stop doing something they were supposed to be doing and do something else. Some of these kids also lacked socialization skills--they had trouble sharing and getting along with their classmates. Since you can't afford a full-time preschool, you might see if there is a part-time one in your area--even a few months gong a day or two a week would help. It would also help get your daughter over the separation anxiety that many kids have when they first have to be away from home. Check to see if a local high school has a free program. At one time Oakmont H.S. in Roseville had a childcare class for its students and allowed a limited number of kids to be there for baby-sitting/preschool. Some churches also have low-cost preschools, especially if the parent will volunteer to help. If none of that is possible, try to find a play group for your daughter so she can get those socialization skills. If that is not possible, be comforted knowing that most of the kids that were ill-prepared for kindergarten did eventually catch up.

Oh my! No she won't be behind if she knows all of that already. My oldest daughter just started kindergarten (we are homeschooling) and when we tested her she was at a 1st grade level. Those things that you go over with her daily will make a huge difference. Learning is a natural thing. Something that helps with counting that we do is count to 20 when we are washing our hands and that will help her remember that. We just started this homeschooling gig and we are having such a blast. Let me know if I can help in any way. Oh and socialization will happen. Do you go to church? My kids just started an Awanas program and that is a great way to connect with other kids. My girls love it.
T.
T.

Hi, S.. First of all, kudos to you, sounds like you're doing a great job. I even think you're daughter is more advanced than some kids who are in preschool. I remember with my son he started preschool when he's about 3 yrs. old, but I tell you I think he learned his ABC's more from his Leapster than from the school. I think the only disadvantage of your daughter not getting into preschool rightaway is that she's not getting a lot of socialization. I think if you go to church they usually have daycare or childcare so she could get expose to other kids. Going to parks,library, etc. helps, too. I think with our son he was very shy, but his teachers said he's smart and he didn't have a hard time catching up on preschool. Good luck to you!

About me, I have two beautiful kids a 7 yr. old son and a 20 month old daughter, both of whom I just adore ;o)

Dear S.:

I am a 76 year old great grandmother and former early childhood educator, mother of 5.Please do not fret about not sending your child to preschool. Spending time reading , discussing, answering questions, and having her interact with her peers at informal group settings (play dates, relatives, neighbors) as well as preparing to be a big sister are all learning experiences that you will know about and can influence yourself. What your daughter needs most is a loving close supportive, accepting, attentive relationship with her parents first and foremost, and others secondary to that. Rejoice that you can afford to stay at home and spend time with her. Blessings on you and that wonderful husband who works so hard so your daughter can have the person she most needs to spend her days with. You can teach some of the things she might pick up in preschool, but only if it is fun and not anxiety provoking for you both. she will not be behind as long as she is able to follow directions and participate in group activities and scheduling once she starts public school. Enjoy enjoy enjoy and blessings on your family!!! N.

I have three teenagers. The oldest was in preschool for a short time before kindergarten mainly for the socialization. Her sister didn't like preschool because there were too many competitive sounds and she couldn't separate them(took a while to figure out that one), so we removed her. Her brother (the youngest) didn't go to preschool. None were left behind. The oldest and youngest have gone through the honors programs in high school. They're all great and well-adjusted young people.

My point? Relax. It's hard, but stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and enjoy the time you have at home with your daughter, because it's such a short time. One day you'll blink and they'll be heading off to college. She'll be just fine. Don't feel guilty.

If you're still concerned, remember that this is the beginning of the school year. See if you can observe a kindergarten class at the school she'll be attending, or talk to one of the teachers. Then you'll have a better idea of what to expect next year. Good luck.

First of all relax about this. If you are concerned about what is expected of her in kindergarten, contact your local elementary school and speak with a kindergarten teacher. They can tell you what they often expect/hope for as a child enters school. Often they will hope for students to (1) be able to identify all upper and lower case letters, but not write them, and (2) count through 10 or more and be able to identify them, but not necessarily write them. I know that the biggest concern is whether a child can sit still for the teacher to perhaps read a book or do an activity where the child can focus for that amount of time. And of course, they hope for a child that has some experience sharing. If you take your daughter to the park and she interacts well with other kids, perhaps shares sand toys, takes turns on the swings and slide, she's doing well on that end. If you spend time with her reading picture books, talking about the pictures, letters, sounds, etc. she's getting her lessons from you. Continue to do this. I also bought my boys some of the really simple workbooks for preschool kids (I think they sell them at Target) that had things in it like matching items, practice writing letters, simple counting, etc. that I worked with them on. They enjoyed these because it was their "big boy work." We'd grocery shop at home (I'd pull out cans and boxes of stuff and then tell them to count out pennies to pay for them). We'd line up all the stuffed animals (or plastic animals--I think we had a whole jungle) and say their name, sound, letter or spelling, color (whatever you pick) and then once we'd gone through them we'd count them. There are so many games you can create with what you have. You can draw pictures, name colors, make up simple stories and have her try to write some of the words, etc. It is so good that you are home with her and are able to spend this time with her. Enjoy your little girl and just have fun!

NO she won't be behind. She already knows a lot more than many starting kindergarten.

Don't worry at all.

p.s. - The biggest reason I, and I suspect many other moms, put my kids in preschool was to give myself a break. Not so they would be "ready" for kindergarten.

It sounds like you are doing a lot of great things with her academically. I think she will be fine. As for socialization, you may be able to find a mommy and me group or get involved with a church group that has sunday school classes. Keep reading with her and working on numbers and she will be do great in Kindergarten. I have seen children who go to preschool and still are behind in kindergarten. I think a lot of the important learning can be taught at home. The parents are the ones who make all the difference. I am a public school teacher and I wish the all parents were as pro active about their children's education as you seem to be. Good luck.

I just returned from a Kindergarten panel discussion. The general consensus of the board was that preschool is most importantly for socialization, not academics. They said that if your kid is exposed to social situations with other kids -- especially without you, and has experience taking direction from other adults and playing with groups of kids, he/she should be fine. Especially if you help with the academic side at home. If you need ideas for opportunities like that, I started by leaving my son in childcare at church once a week. Then moved on to childcare at the health club once a week while I take yoga. That sort of thing. You may already be doing that kind of thing. If so, it didn't sound to me like you have anything to worry about. Oh, the one exception they did seem to talk about is if you have your heart set on a specific kindergarten and they give kids that go there for preschool first dibs on space in the class. Then, you'd probably want to get your kid in for preschool. I had the very same question this morning!

N.

I would recommend doing a search online for "Kindergarten prerequisites". Use that info as a basis for what you can teach your daughter at home to prepare for Kindergarten. Also, ask your district about programs offered for low income families. Most districts offer a "First 5 program" to help children learn the essentials for preparing for Kindergarten. Shapes, colors, numbers 1-20, cutting, coloring, letter recognition (although most K's don't know them perfectly before starting school and many of them flip letters like p & q, d & b, a etc. My 6 year old daughter attends a very good school..known for its high test scores. Most of the kids in her class are still reversing their d's & b's, p's and q's...this is very common among this age group and virtually all of them will have it figured out by the end of 1st grade. Aside from the academics, more importantly, your daughter should learn how to clean up after herself, follow 2-step directions, and write her name. Arrange play-dates for her to give her socialization skills. Sounds like she'll be just fine. Best of luck to you.

My daughter has just entered Kinder in SF Public. She went to preschool, but it was a small coop where we choose NOT to teach anything even like letters and numbers (unless of course an individual had a particular hunger for it). We supported creative play within safe boundaries, and social development. I strongly believe this was the right thing to do for my child.

The education at public school is SO painfully stripped down these days b/c of No Child Left Behind. Many schools have nearly no music, dance, P.E., art, etc. This are not just fun activities! These are developmentally important!! Teachers are forced to address only one small sliver of a child (reading and writing)that there is little time for these other INCREDIBLY important things. Public education these days, at least in my experience, is not about developing a Whole Child.
It is our jobs as parents to do these things now, more than ever.

By all means let your child be a child for as long as she is able. Encourage creative play which will grow into problem solving skills, and love for learning. Create social settings for her to learn to navigate with others her age. I'd recommend both informal settings for this (play dates both in your house and at the park) and structured settings (age appropriate music or gymnastics class, for example).

At home we read to our daughter everyday. We have also taught sounds and shapes, but outside of preschool setting, and we NEVER push.

There are many home schooling resources available. Perhaps you could utilize some of them to plump up what you think your daughter might be missing out on. At very least you can educate yourself about what is developmentally appropriate.

Finally, remember to believe in yourself as a parent!

A.

If you are working with her she will probably be ok however it would be an easier transition for her to go to school. Have you checked on getting her into the headstart program through school. I know it is income based but maybe you could get her in.

In my experience the problem with not going to preschool is not so much the academic problems, but the social problems, and the being apart from you for a few hours every day.. The preschool gets them used to being in a learning environment with other kids and a teacher instead of only at home, then suddenly gone every day for a few hours.

My three year old daughter is in preschool right now through the Mission Oaks Park district on Mission Avenue in Carmichael-Sacramento.. They only charge ninety dollars a month, if you help out a couple times a month. And t hey're really good!!

Dear S., it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of teaching your daughter. I think she will be more than ready for kindergarten. Pre-school helps a lot will the social learning. perhaps you can find a moms group that you could join so she can get a chance to meet other kids in big group settings. Another idea is to invite a friend or 2 for a play date and play pretend school so she can learn some things that are expected of her, like sitting still to here a story, etc.
good luck and don't worry too much, she sounds like a smart little girl.
Mivchelle

S.,
I too am in the same situation my daughter is 4 and will be turning 5 in January. My husband and I can not afford to put her into any preschool or any P-K type daycare/school and so I work with my child doing the same things, Knowing our ABC's what letter is this, spelling and writing our name, colors etc... One thing I do want to ask and I know that she will have to be able to do this before she can enter in to school and that is being able to cut paper. I can only recomend that you do crafts with kid scissors. That will help to. Also contact the school that she will be attending and see what all she will have to know and be able to do before she can enter also ask if they have any programs for pre-k students that is free. One thing my husband and I started doing with our child and that was putting her into Gymnastics which helps also with the listening skillls and obeying skills etc... We found that this was much more cheeper than any preschool by far and our daughter has already shown more sings of being even more ready to start school when se is ready to. Hope this helps a little bit. I don't think your child will be behind at all. Please let me know what happens.
Kim S. from california.

HI S.-
Looks like you have lots of response, and I obviously did not read them all. So if this repeats anyone-sorry.

My sister is a Kindergarten teacher, and she would say that kids who have been to some kinds of pre-school transition more easily into school. It's not the academic side, but the socialization. You don't really want her first time being away from you to be her first week of school. That can be traumatic.

Expenses are obviously a huge concern-but if you do not want to go the preschool route, maybe you could find some vacation bible schools over the summer (they tend to be free to $20/week). So she will have the experience of being away from you, around a group of other kids, with another grown up in charge for 2-3 hours a day. Kinda like a dry run for the real thing.

S., I totally understand your point from a financial standpoint but I may have a solution. I go to a Co-op preschool which means that I get to work in the classroom and the cost of the school is very reasonable. I have done this with both of my kids and they love it. The teachers are great,and the school is runs by parents who really care about the school and the children.Most cities have them and it it a wonderful way to get your daughter ready for Kinder. Let me know if you need more info.

A.

I have two daughters and my oldest did not go to any pre-school either because we could not afford it. We didn't earn so little as to qualify for free Headstart programs and we didn't earn enough to afford the private pre-schools. As it turns out, she did absolutely fine in kindergarten and beyond and she probably knew less going into kindergarten than your daughter does. She is an eager learner and has always liked school, which is more than enough. She is now in sixth grade and getting all As in the GATE (Gifted & Talented Education) Program. We struggled to afford one partial year of pre-school for my younger daughter, who is now is 3rd grade, and there is no noticeable difference. She is also a straight "A" student now in GATE. I firmly believe that the most important thing is that you as a parent engage with you child. We don't necessarily have to be teachers all the time or spend lots of money on private schools, but just interact with them, ask and answer questions and support their curiosity.

I think it is wonderful you are a stay at home mom (SAHM). You have nothing to worry about. Your daughter is learning more from you than she ever would in pre-school. Make sure she has a good play group and continue teaching her as you are and she will do just fine. My son stayed at home with me (also a SAHM), never attending preschool, started Kindergarten two weeks before he was five and is currently a 7th grade honor roll student. I think you are doing a great job being a mother to your daughter. Keep up the hard work...

If you can afford to put her an an organized activity like Karate or dance or something, it could help her learn to participate in a large group and follow directions of an adult who is not her parent.

Good luck,
T.

She is a little girl who is receiving the gift of time with her momma to play, cook, read, go for walks, explore her world at her level and she is most certainly all the better for it. Little ones need to play and have unstructured time where they can try various life skills out and see what works for them and what doesn't.

None of my children, ages 22-7, went to preschool or pre-K. Savor these sweet years. She will be fine and the foundation you are giving her in who she is is invaluable.

As to the socialization issue as has been brought up in some previous responses.... she is learning socialization naturally by playing with other children at the park, having playdates, watching you with your friends, watching how you interact with the public, and by her interactions with you and your husband, her immediate family. I would rather my children learn how to be socially adept from me than from another preschooler.

It sounds like you are doing a great job!

Curious - how do you know she's very smart versus average?

Hello S., I am a mom of five children and I had the same concerns with my kids, but to be honest with you - I do not think preschool is necessary. Each school does a testing as they enter kindergartin and they usually test on shapes, colors, alphabet, numbers, word identification, how to write there full name, telephone number, and address. We used flashed cards, traceables to help write the alphabet and numbers. Worked on basic words like the, at, there, me, am, I , etc... Also, practice writing her full name over and over and over. They do have kindergartin paper for writing between the big lines and they do have preschool worksheets at any store. Work on these basic items and it will definetly help her get ahead of the game. Read a lot to her and even have her re-tell you the story back in her own words.

You must spend at least an hour a day with her til the school season starts. I definetly agree with staying home with her and spending that mom and her time, but if possible also interact with other children in the community. They usually have a moms group within the community and they have like park trips, musuems, luncheons, etc... This helps your child socialize with other children and won't be afraid when entering school.

You are doing a great job and don't worry she will do fine.

Your regards,

J.

Hi, Have you tried state preschool its in all the schools now ands it free and its only 3 hrs a day. and then she also gets a feel for the classroom setting....

This makes me so sad. Kindergarten was started to "socialize" kids so they would be ready for 1st grade. Now pre-school "socializes" the kids so they are ready for Kindergarten. When do kids get to be kids? Yes, this is my soapbox, LOL! I have two children that didn't even go to Kindergarten and they have done just fine. The difference is I read to them, taught them their ABCs and numbers, colors, shapes. We had quiet time when we sit still (NOT watching TV) and we have dinner as a family so they learned about conversation. You are doing just fine, don't worry about "having" to get her into pre-school. You might want to get her into a play group or a program like dance/piano/art through the park district. IMO that is enough socialization.
Your child is getting something that kids in pre-school are not, one on one attention with their mom. THAT is the best gift you can give your daughter. =)

don't worry - she won't be behind. Your daughter knows much more than my granddaughter did when she started kindergarten and she does just fine. I was totally amazed at how quickly she picked things up. When she walked into kindergarten on the first day, she knew very, very little. In no time, we were reading together! She's now in first grade and you can't tell the difference between her and the kids who went to preschool. Just be sure to participate in the homework and read with her evey day, even if it's just for fifteen minutes and she will be just fine. They make so much out of preschool - I think if you need the daycare, it's great, but if you don't, the children should be home with mom. They grow up fast enough as it is. Don't worry, you are not doing your little one any harm!

RELAX! It sounds like you are doing all you need to do to get her ready for school. At his stage of development it is NOT about doing worksheets and memorizing facts. You can find 'teachable moments" all through the day and infuse her with a love of reading and learning and a curiosity about the world. You're doing a great job.

I don't know if she will be behind, sounds like she is pretty on target though. I have my daughters in a co-op preschool where I have to volunteer in the classroom a couple of times a month, it helps cut down on the cost of preschool. You could look into a co-op if you truly want her in preschool, they are definitely more affordable.