Hi Moms,
I'm writing because our neighbor asked my son 2 monthes ago if he wanted to buy his car. He told him back then that he had to get the papers gathered. So last week he asked my son again. My son and husband took it for a test drive and decided yes he wanted to buy it. They decided on a price and my son went to get the money out of his savings account for it because of new laws and it being a custodial account I had to sign for the money although my son is 20 yo. That took a day to do. Then my son wanted it in his name and his own insurance which took another 2 days to get straighten out because he was on our policy as a driver.So the test drive was on monday and til we got things straight it was Friday. The neighbor called on Sunday and asked for my son and I told him if was about the car he would get it tomorrow. He said no,no ,no it's too late we're keeping it and selling one of our others. He had told my son if he wasn't taking it he would put a sale sign on it, and that he was sick of keeping insurance on the extra cars that's why he was getting rid of it. This is not the first time he has hurt my son. I want to send him a letter and tell him just how hurtful this has been on my son. My question is do you think this would apporpriate to do since I am very upset when my son told him three times yes he was taking the car and was wortking things out to buy it. Thanks in advanbce H.
Moms who responded seem confused my son was told he needed proof of insurance and in his own name that's why the time period happened. And yes he told the nieghbor 2 times taht week he wnated it and was working on the bank problem and the then the insurance problem
I would chalk it up to a valuable learning experience for my son and then let it go.
Not that I would go out of my way to be super friendly . . .
Your son is 20 and an adult, he should be the one to speak to the neighbor. He should also refuse to do business with this man again.
If the neighbor asked this 2 months ago and nothing happened and then just about a week after the test drive he hadn't heard anything from you guys, I think it's fair he changed his mind. Typically someone buys a car and then does all the insurance etc paperwork. Your son could have gone by Tuesday to give a deposit or something or at least keep the neighbor up to date on what was going on. If he didn't do that, I'm not sure I'd be that mad and consider it a lesson learned how these things can go.
Your son is 20, I'd butt out. Deals get made and broken all the time. This is just one of those little disappointments in life.
Unfortunately for your son, the car's owner has a right to do this. Since he's a neighbor, someone you know, I suggest that it would be appropriate for your son to tell him how disappointed he is.
I would not write a letter. It can be misinterpreted and result in bad feelings. When you talk in person, you have the opportunity to work out the issue in a more realistic way.
I suggest that the next time your son wants to buy a car he put a down payment on it so that the deal is legally made at the time it's verbal.
And since this man has hurt your son before, I suggest that he stop being involved with him.
After your last post. Who told him he had to have insurance in his name? If it was the one selling the car you may have a case because there was a verbal agreement. However, going to court to force a sale would be expensive and probably not worth it.
However, you could use the man's requirement for insurance as a negotiating point to try to convince him to change his name back. Success depends on the man's sense of honor and the persuasive abilities of your son or someone willing to do this for him. I suggest a male person would have more clout with this particular personality.
Wow, been there, and would strongly recommend to walk away from it. I know it's easier to say then do, but take the advise of someone who learn to eat confrontation for breakfast. I know from first hand exp. that you will NOT win in this situation, even though it's eating your insides up.
Best to walk away with the knowledge that Karma will spit him out after it's rung more than the bell on people like that. If you've had a bad experience with this guy - don't go back. I have to many battle wounds from these types and I am the one standing now, they on the other hand have sown the harvest they seeded. It truly comes back in spades, just have to stand off in the distance to see it... unfortunately.
Best of luck and always, always let them see you smile. (Keep them guessing and looking over their shoulders)!
I think he should have given him the money and took the car over the very day he got the money in hand and did all the extra work later on in his own time. Then maybe the neighbor wouldn't have had a chance to back out.
But, whats done is done. Tell your son, not to partake in any buying ventures from the neighbor again. And leave it at that.
You dodged a bullet.
Buying a car from an owner is ALWAYS risky business (even with a full mechanic's workup from YOUR mechanic) and from someone you actually *know* it's even more problematic.
You don't mention taking the car to a mechanic for inspection. If you didn't do that, there is the small chance the neighbor knows it's not up to par and is having second thoughts on getting involved in selling a lemon to a neighbor.
If the car is in great shape, then the neighbor is just a total jerk. Don't speak for your son. At least he has everything in order now to buy a different one. Sorry this happened, but with no contract, your neighbor didn't have to sell it.
Are you friends with this neighbor or not? Why would you do a deal with someone who had already disappointed your son?
I know you want to give him a piece of your mind, but it sounds like he's a tool, plain & simple, and it wouldn't be worth it to put anymore time or energy into it.
Your son has learned some valuable lessons. Get everything in writing, don't trust people who have already wronged you, when making a deal, communicate clearly & also work quickly. And remember, "buyer beware" at all times.
a little confused....During this whole process did the neighbor understand what you and your son had to do about ins...money etc..to buy it? I.e timeline. Somehow there seems to be a misunderstanding about timing and when the agreement should have taken place. Correct me if I am wrong.
Don't bother writing the letter. The guy doesn't deserve your son's hard earned money if he is going to treat him that way! Talk with your son and go find another car and tell the neighbor if he ever asks again about you purchasing anything from him, to take a hike. I know it may not seem like it,but it sounds like a blessing in disguise.....what if the car is a lemon? You wouldn't want to have to deal with more problems with the neighbor. Stay clear of this one....its trouble!
M
.
I still don't understand...why the 7 day delay? If I was the neighbor I would have become frustrated and reneged on the deal as well. If your son had the money and paperwork together by Friday, why did you neighbor call on Sunday? Your son should have been able to take posession of the vehicle on Tuesday when he got the money for it. When you take the tags to the DMV you need to have a signed title and proof of insurance but you don't have to have insurance in PA to take posession of the vehicle, it would have automatically been covered under your policy for a period of time until your son obtained insurance. In PA you can't insure a vehicle that you do not own, that's fraud. It sounds like there was not a "meeting of the minds" and therefore not a contract. If there was no exchange of goods your neighbor had every right to decide not to sell the vehicle. Sorry.
In terms of writing him a letter, let your son do that. He was the one who wanted the vehicle and he is a man. Let him handle his business man to man.
I don't think there would be anything wrong with that but being your son is 20 I would talk to him and have him handle the situation. This is a moment for your adult son to stand up for himself. I would cut ties with this person from now on if he truly is someone that isn't worth having relations with.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
Hi, H.:
If your son is upset, let him tell the man.
Your son wanted the car and insurance in his name.
The delay for doing this instead of keeping everything
in y'alls name is the consequence of not getting the car.
Just my thoughts.
D.
If they didn't have anything in writing about their agreement then your son is going to have to suck it up. He's a 20 year old adult man and shouldn't have his mom writing letters for things like this. ;-) It's not appropriate.
There are other cars out there, and honestly if this guy was this hinky on the deal then your son is probably much better off NOT buying a car from him. Cut off contact with the guy and just write him off without ever contacting him again, advise your son to do the same, and tell your son to consider himself lucky.
No. Do not write this letter. First of all, your son is twenty, unless he has a disability you shouldn't be fighting his battles for him. Your neighbor is wrong. You can you this as a life lesson time to explain to your son that not everyone is an honest business man and that he should get agreements in writing or just shrug it off. Your neighbor is entitled to change his mind and since there is not a binding contract there is nothing to do except caution your son in doing any business deals with the neighbor.
Does your son feel hurt and disappointed or just you? If your son is disappointed over the car, you can reassure him that there will be others and probably better. It's probably a blessing in disquise and I would take it as that. Who knows, maybe some deal you guys strike would turn out nasty and then you would have to live with them as neighbors for a long time.
If you see your neighbor again in passing, simply tell him your son was disappointed that he did that to him, and not bother with the letter. You might say something you don't want to, it is impersonal, and it might be blown out of proportion. Shop with your son for another car!
Too bad there are jerks out there like your neighbor. Here in NY you have to go get insurance before you can register a car in your name - and I can see how it would take 3- 5 days to get it all together if it involves 2 people who have to go to work and get this paperwork done inbetween.
This is a life leson that stinks. Don't allow yourself and your son to dwell on this and allow it to upset you both. Put it out of your mind and limit contact with this crazy neighbor. Don't writ he letter - it's jsut something to creat a bigger rift. Avoid the jerky neighbor. Bummer!
Damn, Momma, I would be so pissed! This guy sounds like a friggin' jerk! You don't get a kid's hopes up like that only to back out!
Verbal contracts of sale ARE binding, but I don't know how you would benefit from that fact, if there's anything you can do to pursue legal action, etc.
But that's not what you're asking.
IMO, yes, it is absolutely appropriate. That's nicer than what I would do, lol.
I think your son is 20 and last time I checked that is an adult. Let your son handle this, unless you want him to be known as a mommas boy!
