My daughter's 5th birthday party is in 10 hours. She has had a cough and mild congestion for 1 day and developed a low grade fever less than 100.7 about 4 hours ago. As a precaution, we had her swabbed for strep and it came back negative. She's now sleeping and I haven't heard any coughing or fussing and she's not on any fever reducers.
We are expecting about 90 guests and the party will be outside in our backyard. Food and cake are all catered so no risk of pre-school cooties there. At this point, I can't cancel the food, cake, bouncy house and other entertainment. We have spent a fortune on her birthday bash and she is so excited.
Question: What would you do? I'm leaning toward sending a message to all parents in the morning to list her symptoms, but telling them the party will go on so the food and entertainment don't go wasted. We'll keep my daughter away from others and have her blow out candles on her personal cupcake. No hard feelings if they decide not to come. Is this appropriate? Will it be cruel for my daughter to not be able to play with her friends at her own birthday party? Are we risking the health of others even though they all share the same germs at school and extracurricular activities? HELP, we are so torn about this.
Thank you for any advice!
Thank you everyone for your advice and support. My daughter woke up with a 99.5 degree fever, but in good spirits and with a heathy appetite. I ended up sending out a mass email telling everyone her symptoms, what precautions we were taking and how there would be no hard feelings if they chose not to come. For those that missed the email, I left a sign on the front door. I also gave her a cough suppressant and decongestant to minimize coughing and the spreading of germs. Hand sanitizer was also readily available. We had 4 families who did not come, but everyone else showed and we had a great time. I also warned the face painter about the germs, but she did not care.
For those surprised at the guest count :) My daughter's birthday is usually right before Thanksgiving. Every other year, we invite all our friends and family to her birthday as a way of giving thanks. This is a family event. We include all siblings, parents and even grandparents. 37 invited families sure does add up quick. This is also not a fancy rockstar, fireworks, pony princess show for a spoiled brat. We're talking breakfast burritos, pizza and fruit in my backyard with a swing set, crafts, bouncy house, soccer, face painter and the blessed Phoenix, AZ sunshine. It was 78 degrees today and a beautiful day!
Thanks to all who responded with great advice, I really appreciated it on such short notice! You all are the best :)
Holy moly! That party is the size my wedding was!
I'd give her a fever reducer and probably go on with it. I like the idea of not blowing out the candles on the cake. I wouldn't text that many people. It would create confusion. Good luck!
I wouldn't cancel - there are barely any symptoms.
I just might have her skip blowing out the candles over the whole cake that everyone else will be eating - maybe you could have candles on a cup cake or smaller cake for her to blow out - so she won't be sharing germs in that particular way.
But other than that, I wouldn't worry about it and just throw the party as you normally would.
I can't get past the fact that you are having 90 people for a 5 year old. I'm speechless.
my kids were sick for every holiday and birthday from about 3-6 year old.. normal germ collecting from other germy kids at school and day care.. I am sure she has a cold that she caught from ther other kids.. no worries.. party on.. I send mine to school with colds or they would miss weeks of school every year.. I go to work with colds... I do not let mine go anywhere is they are vomiting.. I hate stomach flu and do not share that dreaded disease..
She is not that sick and it is a special day. Others may not agree with me but I would let her rest and then give her a fever reducer and decongestant just before the party. Let her play and have a good time, just remind her about hand washing and not rubbing her nose or touching her mouth.
I would probably just have her rest all day, then, assuming she feels ok, give her a fever reducer with decongestant/cough suppressant just before the party. That way she won't be coughing all over her guests.
oh, what a hard call. she's not THAT sick- but fevers are generally my litmus test.
i think your plan is best. that's an insanely huge party to try to cancel, and rescheduling it would be a nightmare.
but a cough and little bit of a stuffy nose just aren't really a big deal. anyone will encounter that on any day outside the house. you were smart to test for strep, and with that being negative, i think i'd forge ahead and just keep your daughter quiet. hopefully there will be enough activity (and presents! and cake!) that she won't miss playing with her friends too badly.
i certainly don't think it's 'cruel' (she's not a toddler, a simple explanation will make sense to her even if she's a little disappointed), nor do i think you're putting the health of others at risk since a) her illness is very, very mild and b) you're warning them and c) taking sensible precautions.
will some folks roll their eyes at you? almost certainly. but there's no one right answer here. folks can choose not to attend if they don't approve of your choice.
hope the birthday girl has a great day.
khairete
S.
This is just me, but if my child wasn't really sick, I'd probably just go ahead and still have it. If she doesn't have strep, and she's not experiencing any fever and it's just a cough with mild congestion - honestly, kids go to school like that all the time. I tend to keep mine home if they are at all unwell, but if she gets a good night's rest and she's not up coughing or fussing - I'd just go ahead as planned.
While I think it's considerate to let parents know and give them the option, I also think with 90 guests invited, it might get confusing. People will be texting you, wondering if they should come, and unless there is a real risk, I would not personally bother.
If you feel she shouldn't be around her playmates, then you could limit her contact I suppose. But most kids are around kids like this at daycare and school all the time. I would just as you say, not let her breathe all over the cake.
Good luck :) sounds fun.
I'd have the party since it's outside, and just try to keep her out in the air where others aren't couped up with her. It's no different than being outside anyway.
I wouldn't text 90 people. If this were inside your house, I would rethink, but this is different.
I think your reaction to this was perfect! Had it been me who received a message that the birthday girl was sick, I would still go, unless, we had something really important coming up that required my child to be at their best. So, if they had some sort of performance, I would pass. Otherwise, I expect kids come in contact with germs all the time.
Good job mom!
I think your idea sounds great. Text as many guests as you can in the morning explaining the situation and giving them the option to attend or not. Then have the party and let her enjoy herself. If I was a guest, I would attend. The party sounds like fun and I would still let my child come. Just try to keep your daughter from hugging anyone or sharing any food or drinks. Let her make this memory and have fun at her party. Good luck and I hope she wakes up feeling much better!
You have good responses below. 90 people for a 5 year old though? Wow. what are you icing to do for her 16th birthday? 900? Like Diane, I'm speechless.
You handled it as I would have. Only you forgot one thing - I love parties! And that one sounds like fun...shoot, I can't give my kids a party like that, so I would have loved an invite :). Haha - hope your kiddo is feeling better today.
State law in Oklahoma for sending a kid home "sick" was 101.0 or above. I'd say she's going to be fine and she's fighting it off.
Welcome to mamapedia!!
I'm sorry I'm late to this. I did have to read your SWH because I was late to this posting.
When my oldest son was 2 - he got sick - really sick - fever of 102, vomiting, etc. We canceled his party. We didn't have a 100 people coming - however - we were having it at our home and had enough food for 100 people!! LOL!!
We have not canceled a party for a fever under 100 degrees. I have let friends know and let them make the decision. Basically - you handled it as I would have handled it.
Hope she had a great day!
You sound like a great mom!!
