Should I Pretend to Care About My Son's...

Maybe ask him probing questions about WHY he likes the game? Make the discussion a little more interestingfor you - but yes, you kinda have to. You don't have to love it, but you do have to listen.

I think if you cant possibly find interest it'd be condescending to pretend like you were, not at all genuine. I would tell my daughter in the nicest way possible that i dont enjoy video games (which i dont) I know my 8 year old daughter can pick up on fake interest.

I pretend to be excited even though i dont care it take 20 seconds to go see what excites him and if you are busy say not now.

Well... Given the other responses, you may think I am terrible but when my daughter starts to talk about an episode of Wizzards of Waverly Place or some other show I have no interest in I may listen for a moment but then I will ask her if she would like me to tell her what happened on the news today. She is 7 and she gets the hint. I really don't think it is wrong to let your kids know that some topics of conversation may not be suitable for all audiences. At the risk of sounding harsh, I don't want my child to be a bore and I think they should learn how to read social cues.
I have no shortage of patience however if my kids are telling me about a school assembly or what happened at recess, gym class or the cafeteria but video gaming conversations...not for me: )

Ok, here is some advice from a mom with two teenage boys. Today it is video games. In a few years it will be high school, girls, sports, driving, parties, and all the things you know are coming down the road later on. TALK TO HIM NOW AND BE INTERESTED!!! This will lay the groundwork for you and him to be close and able to communicate and understand one another when he is older and will need you very, very much whether he wants to admit it or not. I went through video games, action figures, pokemon cards, and on and on. None of it interested me, but being in their lives and being able to talk to them and share in their interests helped me to have great communication with them as the years went on. I cannot tell you how it feels to have a 16 year old son ask you about his girlfriend or dating or things he has seen other kids do that he has mixed feelings about. Trust me, put up with the things he likes now and you will be thankful for the connection later on!

He just wants you to be excited about something he's excited about. I'm sure you do the same thing to him too.... think about it.
I think you should pretend enough to make him think you care. They like to be told "good job" when they get to the next level or figure out something that was holding them up for awhile. So, yeah, I think you should get a little excited for him. But, if he's interrupting you while you are doing something else and you dont want to listen to him, just tell him so.

My daughter is 14 and she's a major ice hockey freak. Me, I'm just not into it. BUT... I listen to her anyhow. She knows I don't get into it like she does, but she also knows that no matter what I'll listen to her. And when I say no matter what I mean, no matter the subject. Whether it's hockey or boys or school or whatever. I'm there for her and because I listen when the subject doesn't interest me she know I'll listen when it really matters too. On the flip side, she also listens to me, even if I'm boring her, and she understands that everybody has different likes and dislikes and we are all entitled to to respect and to our own individuality. I hope this helps you.

My best friend has 2 boys.. Their interest are nothing she is interested and yet she plays the video games and took them to Comicon in Atlanta.. She is the sports mom for their teams even though as she says she does not give a rats a.. about any of the sports they play..

Your son will only be home for about 10 more years and then he will be on his own.. If this is a way to spend time with him, maybe you could look for some games you are also interested and you 2 could switch off on which games to play.

I am sure many husbands (mine included) pretend to be interested in what we talk about. Try and find a way to tie it to a lesson in life....

Same here! My 6 year old plays Mario on her DS. I start by faking excitement for her the first few times, I tell her good job! Wow, you're really getting good at that! See I knew you could do it! etc. Your support, understanding and encouragement is important to them. BUT sometimes it does get to be too much, and then I'll say 'I'm really glad you're having fun or doing great at that game, but right now I am trying to concentrate on something else, so can you please stop trying to get my attention for every little thing that happens in the game? She understands.

My stepson is huge into video games and comics. I only know enough to be dangerous. I took it like anything that's important to the ones I love - I listened (still do) and tried to remember the finer points. I never really played. Once I picked up a controller and walked my Halo dude off a cliff and he told his buddies, "Oh, that was my stepmom. She's a newbie." Thus ended my "bonding with my teenage stepson over Halo" moment. ;)

If he goes on and on (as little kids do) maybe take turns talking about or doing something you enjoy. Maybe show him something you like after he shows you how to drive a cart and throw things or whatever those characters do.

(Now, ask me about Green Lantern...I'm much better about that. ;))

Remember, having conversations with your child are buying into his future so that when he's 15 he'll actually talk to you. :)

Hang in there. Most kids go through this phase and outgrow it.

I think there's a big difference between showing an interest in your child's hobbies, and listen to them ramble on about something completely meaningless. Maybe he would enjoy if you played the game with him every so often, and that's why he tries to involve you so much. But he's old enough to realize that not everyone has the same interests.

Hi,
Well, I am a mom of a 15 year old who is now enrolled in his high school's IT accelerated program where he is earning college credits for free and working on programing projects for companies across the nation. He has colleges recruiting him and offering scholarships and he is only a sophomore. The reason I shared that is because when he was asked why he became so interested in computer programming he said because my mom let me play on the computer (also very age appropriate games) but she also was interested in what I was doing. Who knows computers may become a passion for your son some day and a very lucrative one at that.

The hardest part for me was when my son wanted me to learn how to play the same games that he plays and I just didn't have the coordination or the skills to really enjoy that. So we compromised and I agreed to sit and watch him play for 1/2 hour each day. Since my son's love language is spending quality time together which he saw this as, this also served that need for him to feel loved and accepted! Who knew it would end up being such a win, win situation?

I hope this helps. Good luck!

I struggle with that too because I really hate video games and my sons love them. Just tonight in the car they were asking if I could come down and watch them. I will and I will fake interest. Not for long but at least enough for them to know I care about what they care about.

Please let your son show you and at least pretend to care about it. You don't have to watch for an hour to do this.

You should not pretend, but you SHOULD CARE, my two sons are 27 and 24 and they are into MMA fighting, it scares me to death, but I support them, and I have learned how to enjoy it for the sake of my kids, my husband and i have always taken an interest in what our kids are doing, our daughter is a dancer we have taken great interest in that, that's what we do as parents. M. it's a form of encourangment, and makes children feel good about themselves. J.

Yes, you should care. It is a way for parents to bond with their kids. I once heard a quote that went along the lines of, "if you don't show interest or talk to your kids when they are young, they will eventually stop talking to you altogether."

Also, video games are a lot more violent and gross than they used to be. Even the kids ones, it's always a good idea to supervise play anyways. Even if it's Mario now, it won't be in a year or two, so it's good to stay interested and involved.

My kids start to repeat themselves and ramble, so when they do that, I'll remind them to stay on track and help them guide the conversation... but overall, it's good to show you care by listening. It's also a good way to teach them to have social skills in communication and conversing.

I, too, have absolutely no interest in video games. (I'm not bright enough to understand them, anyhow.) But when my grans want to show me what they're playing, I'll pay attention.

It reminds me of when my children (grown up now) wanted to tell me about their dreams. Of course I listened. I might have been making my grocery list in my head at the time, but we don't need to go into that. I also was never always sure whether I was hearing about a real dream or chapter twenty-three of the latest self-invented fantasy story. But listening is good.

You can try heading him off by talking to him before he starts talking to you. Ask him about other things - perhaps other interests of his. It'll be good for him to respond to you as well as talk to you.

And while your boy is talking, keep your ears wide open for things you REALLY NEED TO KNOW. He'll share those once in a while, around all the video game talk.

I understand your feelings, but hang in there! I'll be even more outrageous: go an extra mile and ask him if you can play his game a bit (with him teaching you). You may just be rewarded for your effort by having a teenage son who still talks to you eight years from now.

I am sure there are many things your sons does that does interest you. I would be respectful but I would never lie to him about something so trivial then he might fear you would like to him about something bigger. We all have a variety of interest and I would not think you would have to be interested in everything......

i think honesty is the best policy in pretty much everything. for things that i'm not interested in, i'll give a few minutes of REAL attention. not doing something else to distract myself, not internally rolling my eyes or sighing or any other passive-aggressive gestures. i listen with eyes on theirs and ask questions and give them 100%. but not until i nut up. after letting them share their excitement, asking questions to make sure i get it, and being fully present for the conversation i'll say something like 'not being a gamer that's about as much as i can absorb. thanks for sharing that with me!' fake interest is condescending and insulting and i won't do it. but 'stop talking about it, you're boring me' is kind of mean. maybe up front tell him 'i've got 5 minutes that i can give you to really listen to you tell me about the game, but after that i've got other things to focus on. so tell me!' and let him rip.
:) khairete
S.

my son's are the same way. "Son, I am tired of hearing about your video game. You can still play your game if you stop talking about it."
Maybe I am a bad mom, but I am a sane mom!

I really dislilke video games and my nephew's life revolves around them and he is a very non productive citizen to say the least, but my son does like them and he is almost 5. i limit his time obviously but when he starts to tell me about the games, I listen just like I do when my daughter comes and tells me about her doll's day etc... He does loose me quite a bit and i just tell him straight out, honey I am glad you enjoy your games but I have no idea what you are saying. it doesn't make sense unless you play the game, so maybe you should wait and talk about that with someone that plays it. K? I play the games with him same as i play dolls ith my daughter & I enjoy both about the same. LOL. I do use the time to talk with my kids and that I do enjoy. i want to know what they are into through out there life and im sure I will like some and not others, just part of caring for someone. i would fake it, but just acknowledge what they are passionate about same with what I do about my husband's passion about guns. He loves them and competition shoots as a hobby. I really don't care for that either but I will listen if he wants to share. Hope this helps...

Yes, because we all do things that we don't want or like to do. Don't you want your son to think you care about him? Listening is one way we show we care. You can ask a few questions, just so he knows you heard him. Then you can change the subject.

M.,
I understand how you feel. My son talks tractors constantly!
That being said, I force myself to be interested and participate BECAUSE if I don't show interest and want to be part of what he does and what he says now, he WON'T want to hear what I have to say when he is a teen. He won't care that I think smoking is horrible or drinking is dangerous or drugs ....
Sounds like you got a lot of good responses from other moms.

It is important. Or the child may just stop- telling you things.

All I know is, kids can tell...when a parent is faking their interest. I could tell as a child.
Kids know, when the interest is genuine or not.