Should My Daughter Stay Home Alone?

LATE POSTING & I didn't read the other responses: in one of my early childhood classes, we learned that for the state of MO....children need to be age 12 or older to be left home alone on a regular basis. That's "why" most daycares take children up to age 12. It's been a couple of years since that class, but I think it's still a good frame of reference.

The laws may have changed...but it used to be that it was illegal to leave children unattended who were younger than 14 years of age.
Irregardless of what the legal situation might be, I would echo what everyone else is saying...nine is simply too young to be left alone. Think of all of the things that could come up that a nine year old would have no idea of how to handle it and think of the terribly things that could happen. What if someone comes to the door and she opens it without thinking...and they are not someone you would want around your precious little girl. She would actually only be "alone" for 2 hours..but then Dad is going to be asleep...so she would be on her own for the entire day.
I like the idea that was suggested about finding someone with younger children who would be willing to let her "help" take care of the children. Of course you would have to pay them for babysitting...but she wouldnt feel like such a "baby" if she was helping to take care of the other children.Check into the local community centers and see if there are classes that she could take...to help fill in part of her day. I understand that money is tight everywhere right now but our children and their safety are our first priority.
Good luck!!

Hi S., it looks like you already figured this one out!

But, I wanted to just say that you also should know what the law is about the age of home alone - I think in Illinois, it is 13 years old.

I'm glad you're taking her to the sitter. I have a friend who went through a terrible tragedy that started innocently enough. Therefore, I am kind of scared about it now.

Have a good summer!

sorry to sound like a broken record here, but no she's too young. Even if she is mature and even if she's been taught how and when to dial 911, a nine could never be expected to respond to an emergency. Under normal circumstances she will tell you the right answers about what to do, but in a real emergency would you expect someone so young to act under so much fear and pressure?

S. & all Moms

I know this is a late post BUT...Every parent should find out the LEGAL age for a child to be left at home alone, KS is 12! If the child is younger then that and gets hurt you can be charged with Child Endangerment and they can take the child from the home! NOT something any parent would want to deal with! So call and ask wherever you live what the age is and go from there!

L.

When we ran into this situation with our son, my husband spoke with a friend who is a police officer. His suggstion was to ask yourself one question-----Does the child know what to do in case of an emergency, such as fire, injury, etc. We did not allow our son to stay home alone until 12 and a half because we did not feel until then that he could remain calm in a rough situation. Every child is different, but I thought my husband's friend had great advice, as police officers see so much with children being left alone. Good luck! I hope she does well.

legally i think you can't... i'm pretty sure it's 13. But personally I would say definately... its only two hours, she'll probably be asleep during them and then dad is there if she meets a serious issue (does dad wake easily? like if she hurts herself will he hear her scream?... not that anything like that would happen but just to consider all things.) and when you say mature I assume you also mean she follows rules... sometimes mature doesn't eqaul obedient, that would be my only worry... is she going to follow the rules you make to ensure her safety? Good luck in your decision!
P.S. I was a latchkey kid, very "mature", 2 hours alone every afternoon... tried to be a "big help" and clean house for mom, put a laudnry basket on top of the gas stove while loading the washer, caught her kitchen on fire instead! Not too worry you, I don't think my mom made a mistake and I think if you're comfortable you're probably right, but just keep in mind that even the best behaviour and intention can turn out bad. message me if you want

Hi S., she would most likely be OK, especially if you have a neighbor that is looking our for her before dad gets home. But I would worry more about her being board. I'm sure it would be fun at first, but day after day of being home with dad while he sleeps might get a little dull. He won't be able to entertain her since he needs his sleep and I'm not sure how much she could do alone. Is there someway that you could arrange for her to go with a friend for a couple of days a week? I know that some of the moms that I know with kids in that age group do that. Or some pay a college or upper high school kid to take the kids out for the day a couple of times a week. This way they get some lazy days around the house but they still are getting out some too. One of the moms I know would pay a college kid to watch her girls for 2 days a week. She would come by at around 9:30 or 10 and pick them up and take them to the pool. zoo or something else for the afternoon and then bring them home around 4. The kids had a great summer, they got to sleep in and play. Good luck!

I do not think it is a good idea to leave a nine year old at home alone. I have an eight year old daughter and I also think she is very mature for her age, but you just NEVER know what could happen!

Maybe Dad can take her to a daycare once he gets home so she can still sleep in. I don't think it would be a very fun summer for her if she were stiing at home alone. At least at summer care she will be able to interact with others and possibly take swim trips :)
Hope this helps!

I think she would be fine. I would test it out and see how it goes the first week and take it from there. of course, I would trust my instict. It tends to be right.

You could try giving her a week trial period first. When we were kids, we had to call our mom when we got up and around lunch time, just to check in.

My gut reaction is no. Even though she is mature, 9 is still too young to be left home alone. Is there another neighbor she can stay with until hubby gets home from work? How about grandparents? No mention if any grandparents live nearby. What about the 2 y/o? You did not indicate who watches your son, but if it were me...both the 9 y/o and the 2 y/o would be in daycare.
Here's another thought - can you afford to send the 9 y/o to summer camp?
Sorry to not be more positive concerning this issue.

I was left home a lot when I was a kid. I was out in the country and of course, it was before cable television and we only had black and white movies and soaps. I was bored, lonely and I found ways to amuse myself that would never have amused my parents.

I have 4 daughters. I have never allowed my kids to be out of my site for long. Even as careful as I was, my kids have told me about times they hurt themselves and hid it from me. One daughter told me that she scraped so much of her back foot off that she thought she could see bone under a flap of heel! I hope it wasn't that bad. She's almost 19 now and she was only 8 then. She said she felt that we had to spend too much taking her to the emergency room because she was always hurting herself. She said she wrapped it up and kept her socks on around me until it healed.

I did the exact same thing several times when I was a kid! My parents would have freaked a few of those times if they had known.

My answer is no, she's too young. Dad needs his sleep and he shouldn't have to wonder what she's up to.

BUT... that said, many of my daycare children have been in this situation when they slept at my house overnight and stayed home with the parent that worked graveyard. They did survive. But their parents told me about the arguments they had when they ran off, left the house, messed up the house, tried to use the stove and all kinds of things. They still have survived.

Suzi

No, sorry I know it would be more convenient, save money...a million reasons why but she is too young in my opinion. No matter how mature you say she is. She is still just 9. Before you think to disregard this advice, let me tell you, I have a daughter who is 8 and is probably More responsible than her oplder brother who is 13. As of a year ago when my son was still living full time with us ( he just went this past winter to live with his dad) I had just began leaving my son and daughter home when I would make short trips to the grocery store. Invariably, no matter what rules you make children don't always think through consequences and accidents happen, and when accidents happen Even the Most mature, intelligent child will Panic and not handle a situation the right way...and it isn't their fault and if something Really bad were to happen they might blame themsleves. SO many things could happen Just in the window of time that you leave the house and when your husband comes home! There could be a fire, someone could come to the door...if you haven't gone online and looked you might be surprised myabe there is a pedofile who is a registered sex offender in your very own neighborhood. I know I am going to extremes here, but bad things happen EVERY day. How bad are you going to feel if something happens? I am sorry I just really think it is not a good idea...lots of luck with whatever you decide.
B.

My babysitter for after school doesn't take kids after they reach middle school. My son who will be in middle school HATES being home alone, I mean for just an errand. I have not figured out what to do yet. But I looked into several things. Some of the local hospitals offer classes on staying home alone. I got a brochure for $3 from the Red Cross. My husband has it and I haven't seen what it covers... I called about 5 YMCA's because a friend took a class through them, but I couldn't find one that offered it. Let me know if you find anything else please. I really think it depends on the kid......My daughter who is 9 would be able to handle it, my son 10 can't. Also one of my son's classmates stays home 3 days so she isn't bored and her mom has her with the sitter on 2. It seems to be a good compromise. She lives across the street from my in-laws and goes there when there is a storm or a problem.

Is she a late sleeper? She'd probably be asleep part of the time waiting for him anyway? She knows what to do in case of emergency? Tell her not to answer the phone if she doesn't recognize the number and give her your and/or your husband's cell number in case she needs it or gets scared, lock the doors, don't use the oven or stove, etc. If she can handle all this, I'd let her. I have 4 kids, two of them I wouldn't hesitate, one of them I would hesitate, the other is only 3 years old, so I don't know his personality yet. I would if she is mature enough.

I also decided to leave my daughter at home alon when she reached 10. Same as your daughter, she is also mature and very responsible. But as we all know , every situation is beyond our control. so when I found out about SafeKidZone and how their service works, I immediately registered her. It's a panic button alert installed on my daughter's cellphone that in just a press of it, it will simultaneously alert her trusted group of friends, selected family members and neighbors. If needed, the incident will be routed to the nearest 911 with complete information. Here's the good news! Anationofmoms is an awesome site with all kinds of giveaways. I just found out that it mentioned about the SafeKidZone service and they would give you 6 months of a free service by trying to get another of their giveaways. Not bad eh? Here is the link: http://anationofmoms.com/2011/08/protect-your-family-give...

I would say no no no! Not only because of the safety issue...but mainly because of the emotional issue. My parents never had anything for me and my sisters to do during the summer. They both worked and because they thought I was old enough (I was the eldest), they never got any kind of babysitter, activity, playdate...NOTHING.

Let me tell you, this makes for a very long, very boring, very lonely summer. Your daughter will do nothing but watch TV until her eyeballs burn. I really think this is a terrible thing to do to a child. I would try very hard to find at least a part-time camp, activity, friend's house...SOMETHING for her to do during the day. She will be lonely. She will get into trouble. She will not enjoy the summer. Please reconsider.

No, I think she's too young, especially to have her stay home pretty much by herself all day long every day during the work week. If it was a one time thing, I'd say maybe... I honestly don't think she'll enjoy her summer being alone all day. She'll get lonely, she's too young, and she still needs stimulation (be it with other kids, an adult sitter, summer classes, or outside play) during the summer.

Well, when I was that age I would stay home alone. My mom also worked nights and was home with us when I was about 6. I had a brother who was 10. As a child this really sucked. I was very lonely and didn't have much to do. I couldn't play outside or play with other kids because my parents weren't home (or they were sleeping) and couldn't supervise us. We were "safe" but kids need human interaction. There are a ton of VBS and camps that she could attend. If you were able to keep her involved with fun stuff I think it would be fine. If you can't then I would worry that she would become depressed from being alone all the time. God bless

In my opinion, I wouldn't let a 9 yr. old have this much time alone. A quick trip here and there, maybe, but a couple of hours everyday completely alone PLUS the rest of the day unsupervised is too much. She may do things she shouldn't to fill up her time--beginning innocently enough. Or she'll be bored after a few days, even if she finishes her chores or crafts or others things you might have planned for her. And bottom line, safety is a concern. I'd wait until she was a few years older.

From a legal stand point, a child is old enough to stay at home alone when she is able to handle herself appropriately in an emergency. Does she know how to get ahold of someone in the event of an emergency, dial 911, not answer the door, whether or not to answer the phone and what to say if the caller asks for a parent, etc. Those are the kinds of things she should be expected to know.

I, personally, wouldn't want my 9 year old to be home alone, simply due to the boredom factor. But if she is mature enough to handle herself in an emergency, then legally it is fine.

Being mature at age 9 doesn't mean she will enjoy sitting home alone with no teaching from anyone, no interaction, no playing with someone, and it just seems too much of a way to ask for trouble. Could you possibly find somewhere where she could 'help out' and not feel like she's being babysat? I know I babysat when I was her age so maybe she could play with children for small pay or something on that line, like a mother's helper. I know she'd have to get up earlier but maybe she would enjoy something like that. Or since you know her maybe there is something similar to that in her interests that she could do and have fun at the same time.

S.: I am a 60 grandmother. My experience says no. Your daughter will get bored and is still too young to be on her own. My advice is to find a summer day camp for her with planned activities. She may be mature for her age, but she is still only 9. I know you will make the right decission.
Albert