Sick Birthday girl...how Would You Handle This?

Updated on August 01, 2011
L.M. asks from Spring, TX
19 answers

Ok so i took my 2 girls ages 3 1/2 and 14 months to a friends daughters birthday party this afternoon. 10 minutes after arriving, my friend comes out of her bedroom with her little girl (1 year old) and we hug & talk for a minute & then she tells me that her daughter and her husband have been throwing up all day!! She said she thought it was something they ate, but you can never be sure about that!! I apologized and said I am paranoid about stomach issues & since I have two little ones, I had to leave. She didn't act mad or anything & said she understood & was sorry I had to drive all that way (30 min). I said no Biggie & I was glad I was able to give her the gift & that we should get together soon & then I bailed! Lol. As soon as I got to my car we all took a Purell bath & headed straight home for showers/baths & fresh clothes! If it had been my daughter who was sick on the day of her party that was being held at my house, I'm sorry but I would have spared everyone the germs and just cancelled the party or rescheduled! AT LEAST I would have warned everyone! How would you have handled it if you were the one with a sick birthday girl? (I'm not talking about the common cold either! We are talking all day puking!) And also, what would you have done in my situation? Would you have left, or stayed?

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So What Happened?

THANK YOU EVERYONE!! I knew I wasn't overreacting! ;D Sometimes my hubby makes me feel as though I overreact about stomach issues & teases me (playfully) about it. I always am fearful of one of my kids being sick at a party we host, and wondered what I would do, and now I know I would not be alone in cancelling, or at least warning everyone! :D My 3 year old left screaming & crying because she wanted to party; she just didn't understand the reason! yep, I'm pretty upset with my friend for not saying anything! One day she will understand! (HOPEFULLY!) It didn't take having kids for me to know thats not right to expose people like that, but whatever ;p I think we will be okay & stay healthy. Please pray!! :D W
We are all still well!! 48+ hours after exposure! ;D

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I agree with you; I would have taken my kids and left quickly. There are lots of different gastro-enteric bugs, and almost every one of them is extremely contagious.

If my child was the sick one, I would have re-scheduled the party. Not only are the other children at risk, but some of them have immune-compromised family members who might be put at serious risk.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Someone posted a few weeks ago about a very similiar situation that happened to her. I would have definitely contacted everyone to cancel the party. How would her sick daughter have been able to enjoy it anyway!?!?!? If I had arrived without knowing, I would have done the same as you and left.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

If I was the party thrower, I would have canceled the party and notified everyone.

I would have left as you did. I still have horrible memories of one family Christmas when I was a child when one of my uncles came to our house and then admitted he had been throwing up that same day. We ALL came down with it within the next couple of days. Ugly!

2 moms found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would have done the same as you and left. It sounds like she's a nice person and really, truly understands.

As for if it were our party, I think we'd have to reschedule it! How fun could that be for the child if they are puking?

I hope they feel better and hope you don't get it! You really can't know if it's illness or food poisoning. I wouldn't have risked it as the bday family. I would have canceled/rescheduled. I really know NO ONE who would want to risk getting the pukes/runs from that.

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

Yup I would have left too. Hopefully that helped ti minimize the exposure but sometimes once your exposed it's too late. Hopefully the purell and showers helped! I would have been a little mad that she didn't cancel, especially with a 14 month old, with little ones you really have to be careful of fevers.

Anyway I just wanted to chime in, I think you did the right thing too!

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J.M.

answers from San Diego on

Yes I have to say I'd probably leave too. I would never have people over if we had all been that ill. I would not want anyone else to catch it!

1 mom found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Tampa on

Recently - a friend of my daughter's - who's party we were looking forward to - the day of the party we get a call. Mom says daughter was vomiting a few times over night and once that morning. They were not canceling the party - due to the venue and party foods being purchased already - and we were to come if we felt comfortable.

We went. My daughter is rarely sick, and when she is - even tho she's not been breastfeeding for the last 1.5 years - still has a shortened time of being sick compared to other children and to myself.

Neither of us got sick and many other children and their families went too.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

I would definitely have cancelled the party! No ifs, ands or butts about it!

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

She should have called the party off. That was very selfish of her!!!! Unless she was POSITIVE that it was food poisoning, which isn't as common as many think--she should have called it off and rescheduled the date. You are completely right to leave the party and I would be upset. Sorry you had to drive a bit to get there!

M

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

We actually had that happen last year at my daughter's b-day party; it was even a Halloween party and everyone was planning on coming to our house for trick or treating with their kiddos. She woke up that morning throwing up and we cancelled the party and rescheduled. It seemed rather inconsiderate of everyone else. I think you did absolutely did the right thing.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I would postpone the party. Not only is a sick kid not in the mood for all the company, it's not fair to put the party goers at risk of illness. It almost seems like she wanted the gifts or something. I think it's really odd that she wouldn't have had the common sense/courtesy to cancel.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

most ppl know i am a freak about germs and sickness. i vaccinate my kids, i cancelled my classes when the swine flu was about and i would have been pissed. most ppl dont care though. i would have done the same thing but i would have been angery too (i am actually angery for you right now). totally call parents and warn them or at least a email or sign on the door if i was knee deep in puking kids! sorry the birthday girl was pukey on her happy day.

K.*.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yikes, I would have run out of there! I am in shock that she didn't call to cancel...you drove 30 stinking minutes. What was she thinking?! A cold is one thing, but sticking around while people are puking is not an option. It sounds like you acted fast with the hand sanitizer and clean up when you got home! This is one of those posts that leave me shaking my head ...like WTH?! LOL! Shame on your friend!

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N.H.

answers from Austin on

Oh hon I totally understand how you feel. I was done the same way a yr or so ago. I would've DEFINITLY cancelled. Why your friend didn't I dunno, perhaps she didn't wanna disappoint her daughter?? Either way, it was really inconsiderate & not kewl that she didn't cancel the party. My situation was a little different but nonetheless, the same...a friend asked us to help them move & I had JUST been over there the day before & this was the next day & she comes out & we hug like normal & I asked how everything's going, etc & just said the usual pleasentries. SO we help her move, she bought us 'lunch' at a fast food place & when I get home...OH boy I started puking & nonestop...couldn't stop for not even 2 seconds for 3 whole days! The WHOLE day & night for 3 days! I think I even had a low grade fever, chills, etc. I thought it was food poisoning from the fast food joint & was this close to going to emergency room. So I mentioned it to her & she said, "Oh, yeah my little boy had been sick w/the same thing this week..." Why she didn't mention it is beyond me. I was SO mad! I could've really gotten bad off...aka going to hosipital! She didn't act like it was a big thing to her. She said that no one else really got sick, just her mom & only a little bit so she didn't think anything of it. Well needless to say, we're not friends anymore (not just for that but other reasons too). Next time, to avoid any unnecessary driving, try to call first before going over. Even if no one verbally says "party cancelled" for whatever reason, at least you called & verified that 'yes' the party is still on or 'no it's been cancelled'. It could be as simple as a call, text or message on Facebook if you do Facebook, something like "Hey, just wanted to double check & see if the party is still on today..." I'd check on the day OF the party rather than night before b/c anything can happen overnight & even if it seems weird, I'd even go as far as making sure if the host or any of their kids are sick for added measure. You can non-chelantly say something like "Hey, just wanted to verify if the party was still on today..." & if they say something like "Oh yes, why wouldn't it be?" or "Oh yes, it is" & you could reply w/something like "Ok good, just wanted to check & see in case someone got sick & y'all had to cancel..." that way it doesn't sound like you're being "weird" about anything, just sounds like normal conversation at the same time finding out if anyone's sick. Hope this helps, Good luck!!

J..

answers from Nashville on

Truly, I would be so BLEEP pissed at her. Not because of the drive. But because she didn't care enough about my children and family to call and say something.

I am so sorry that she did that to you.
I can't believe she and her daughter felt like it was ok to hug you and your daughter. One hug could totally get you and your daughter sick.

That was completely wrong of her.

Trust me, if it was you and your family sick she would have expected a call ~ out of respect.

Talk to her.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I cannot believe she didn't call you to warn you about what was going on!!! Seriously?! That was a huge mistake on her part. My family was hosting dinner this past Christmas. My parents and husband's parents traveled from out of state and were already here Christmas Eve. I felt perfectly fine until Christmas morning, and then the puking started. Since my husband's sister, husband and 4 girls were planning on coming over in the afternoon (they live 20 minutes away) my husband quickly called them to tell them I was very sick. They all asked me if I wanted them to move the party to the sister's house. I didn't care either way, I just felt so crappy I was planning on hiding in my room anyway. My sister-in-law did end up coming over with her family. But at least I felt that she had been warned! Luckily, no one else got sick.

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

As I was reading your post..I had the same thoughts. I am a mother of 4 children..and when one child is sick ..I have to isolate that child. It's extremely difficult when all kids are ill. My husband and I have this issue when parents bring their sick children to school to share their germs. If you know that your child is ill, please keep them home and rested. I think it just hurts everyone and affects everyone.

Anyhow, I would of done the same....it was nice that you had seen them to drop off the gift...and yes..if it was any of my children, I would of warned parents and will go ahead and reschedule the party. I wouldn't mind having my birthday child share the love and celebration, but sharing germs is not one that I'm ok with.

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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

While I'm sure it was a real bummer to have to reschedule the party, that would have been the right thing to do. I'm quite frankly amazed.

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter woke from her afternoon nap the day of her first bday party AFTER everyone arrived with a 104 fever. The party was outside so the party kept going and only my dad/her grandpa held her (I was 7 mos prego with my son at the time). We told everyone immediately but everyone stayed- we had 10 nieces/nephews there! Turns out she had Roseola so after she broke out in the rash we again informed everyone. No one else got sick. If it was puking, starting before party time, I would have cancelled. Yech! Just for the chance she might have puked DURING the party! Hope your kiddos stay healthy!

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