Single Mom 41, with 16, 17 Yr Olds.

At 16 and 17 and worrying about you. That tells me you have done an excellent job raising them. THey want what is best for you. You will know when the right person comes along.
My uncle died 15 years ago and my aunt just last year has started seeing someone, but both my cousins are out of college and married and on their own. She was a mom first, just like you.

You know... the BEST situations I have ever seen in regards to parenting and dating are when the KIDS are like "Mom, it's time."

They see you as an adult, and they're willing to share, and they love you.

It doesn't mean that you have to jump right in... but if they're saying it's time... you've just gotten "permission" to start thinking about it. ;)

Big big hugs to you!!!
R

Actually, my hat's off to you! So many women seem to feel like they can't live without a man, and they wind up getting their kids and themselves in a lot of messes by dating and moving in men who are sometimes abusive. I applaud the fact that you've concentrated on raising your kids!

Now that they're much older, maybe you can ease back into a dating social life. Do whatever YOU want to do -you don't have to date. Free time and social activities are supposed to be things you enjoy. IF you want to try something like match.com, that may be interesting for you, but don't worry about yourself -just enjoy yourself!

I'm 47. I've been divorced 14 years. I always put my kids first and I have no regrets about it at all. Dating seems so strange to me, mostly because I haven't met anyone I would like to get to know better. But, it's funny, my kids, 24 and 14 are always joking it's about time I found a man. My son especially wants me to find someone who will treat me nicely. And, I would like that, but there are few to choose from around here. I had to go to a wing-ding the other night and he was joking that maybe I could find a husband.
I think they both know how hard it was for me to raise them by myself and it's their way of saying it's okay to take care of me too.
My son has 3 more years of high school, so I plan on taking dating more seriously then. Right now, I have my hands full just juggling what I do. I don't want to throw a man into the mix.
But, I do know what you mean about the empty nest thing. My daughter moved out years ago and thank God I still have my son. I love being a mom and I guess that's what God gave me children for. My son still kisses me on the lips every morning before he goes to school and I cry every time I think about the day he'll be gone and I won't be sneaking snacks in his back pack every day. He loves me and for now, I can't see complicating that with a relationship. I have such precious time left with him and I can always find a man later.
That's my opinion anyway.
I'm sure others see things differently.

Do what you feel is right when you feel it's right. There's no rush.
Your kids just want you to be happy and that's a beautiful thing.

Best wishes.

You are not weird, it happens to a lot of women(I'm sure I'll feel the same when mine grow up), you've been a mom for so long it's surreal that your babies are moving out/college etc.
My mother divorced from my dad when my sister and I were 17 and 18, and she never remarried. she is 51 right now and my sis and I would love for her to go out and meet new people, not necessarily date a date but just meet friends and do different activities. however she says she doesn't want to meet anyone, neither friends or dates...
at least you have your career and are independent, and have friends. there are so many hobbies, and activities we give up to raise our children; take this time momma and pat yourself in the back, you raised two great kids, you will always be their mom and they will ALWAYS need you.
at first you might feel with too much free time in your hands but soon you'll find lots of things to do that fill your day and who knows, maybe now you'll have the time to meet someone if that's what you want. it's also ok not to date, I don't think a woman has to have a man to be happy.
Good luck and God bless,

I would start and find things for you to do that you love to do!! Take an art class, or do something that you have wanted to do but have not yet. Get out and make friends to have as a support system!! It would be hard to feel the empty nest! I have very young kids, but my mom and I are very close and my parents divorced right as I got married and I always want to be there for my mom too! But knowing that you have a support system and friends and things you love to do will help them feel like you will be okay when they are off to college!! Good luck!!

There's no such thing as weird in any objective sense, people maintain all kinds of beliefs, attitudes, and intentions. You created a certain set of ideas and comfort zone that your subconscious mind holds onto - it's up to you if you want to decide to change your life and focus on dating or having a relationship. There's no right or wrong about it, it's what you prefer for yourself - it's your life, not your friends'. Explore your subconscious beliefs and question them - let go of the pressure and anxieties and consider what will make you feel fulfilled. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? It's only hard to raise kids and date if your thoughts and feelings make it that way, plenty of people do it and feel fine about it.

Love yourself, be OK with and appreciative of yourself whatever you choose to focus on.

I am a single mom for the second time. The first time I was only single for three months and I could not handle being alone. I ended up marrying a man and it was the worst mistake I could have made. He was abusive to me and abusive to my children, especially my son. It didn't take me long to figure out that he was a complete disaster. I divorced him and it has been two years. I am not dating and not really looking to get married again soon. It takes a big man to be able to raise someone else's children. I am not the most tolerant person when it comes to men. I think you made a wise decision! Look for a person who you can enjoy when you start dating.

Giiirrlll - it is your TIME!!!! Go for it! It's your TIME!

Well done on prioritizing. Plenty of time. My mom got married at72- and says how happy she is- not that you should wait until then, just an example- you have plenty of time.
best, k

A., I understand completely what you are going through. I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 5 years of age. I raised them by myself. Even moved here to FL from MI without knowing one person down here to save them from being abused by their father. It's hard to find time for yourself when you are raising two children by yourself. I actually met my husband at work. We will be married for eight years come Sept. I didn't have time to make any friends after I moved here. I was busy working full time and taking care of the girls. I miss not having any close friends here. All of my family is in MI. Honestly, I think one of the main reasons I got married was to have someone around to help out. I know it's sad to admit it but if I had it to do over I wouldn't have rushed into the marriage like I did. Oh, I am not saying we have a bad marriage. Actually we have a good marriage. We just should have settled some issues with his grown children before we made the commitment. He was to tied up in taking care of his adult children and giving them all his money. It took him five years to finally stand up to them and tell them he was done. You should try the internet dating. It is actually a lot of fun. I tried it out for a few months before I met my husband. I met a lot of nice guys. Actually I thought my husband was my internet date coming into where I worked when he came in and started talking to me. Come to find out it he wasn't. My internet date didn't show up until later after I had already left to go home. Funny how things work out. When it's time for you to be with someone he will show up. Don't let anyone pressure you into dating or getting married. I was single from 1991 until 2001

My mother was divorced 17 years before she remarried.

She dated and had some long tern relationships, but knew she did not want to just marry someone to be married. Finally she found someone she enjoyed being around, they liked to travel. She never dated to find a husband. She liked having good friends. And she enjoyed meeting lots of different people..

It is great that your kids want you to start dating and it will be wonderful that you are so young. Just enjoy going out with friends. Start doing the activities you enjoy. This is the best way to find friends that enjoy the same things you do..

I'm married w/ 2 young kids. I say good for you for not dating someone after you were divorced. I think that when someone is divorced they should remain focused on their children. Not to say that if someone finds happiness with someone else they shouldn't, however, their children should be #1. I wouldn't date either if I were to get divorced. I'm really not into this whole new craze about creating "ME" time. I think that once you have kids, it's not all about "me" anymore. It should be all about your kids, and how to raise them to be good, caring, productive people, who know you love them more than you love yourself. I'm sure that when you are ready for the time to come for you to start dating, etc. you will. But I wouldn't rush to do it only because people are pressuring you.

The empty nest is coming for us, too.
Do what you love - whether it's travel, classes, sewing, book club or whatever. You'll meet people with common interests and pretty soon, you'll have your own life. Not to say that your kids won't matter, but they will be off to college and you'll have all that free time to yourself.
Then when the kids come home for the summer you'll be wondering how fast they'll be going back to school! LOL!
You don't have to date. You can just meet people and have fun.
YMMV
LBC

I'm not dating, I'm married, but my kids are the exact same age. I understand the empty nest syndrome -- it's kind of kicking in for me, too. They really don't need you much any more at this age.

If you don't want to date, DON'T! You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. When the kids leave home, which will be pretty soon, you'll probably want to date then.

And ditto what Margie said about your doing an excellent job.