Single Mom Dealing with Sick Kids

Hi J., i have been blessed to have an amazing opportunity come my way. I am able to work from my home and I help other moms do the same. I would love to share with you and see if I could help you as well. Send me a message and we will chat or you can visit my website. http://www.internetceomoms.com/meganh

Hmmm... I feel for you as I am lucky to be a WAHM. However, I find that taking all necessary precautions work and it's just common sense.

Make sure they are washing their hands as soon as they come in the door and before meals. (Have them sing the alphabet song, so it's about twenty seconds of sud-sing w/ bubbles on the skin.)

Make sure they are eating well-balanced meals and snacks. Too much sugar lowers the immune system. If they are not eating the best, get them on a multi-vitamin with immune supporting anti-oxidants.

They need to have enough sleep, as that can affect the immune system...

Incorporate a fitness routine and do this with them. Yoga is great and can be lots of fun. I love doing 'Yoga Pretzels' with my son. It's easy and also offers games and partner poses - perfect for two kids or two adults~ fitness helps increase the immune system.)

Have them stay in their 'space' if a friend at school is ill. Meaning, they should not be in that persons face.

If your child does have a temp...even a low-grade at 99.6... you may want to have them rest (or stay home~ hopefully it's not going to come to that.) to avoid a bigger illness. This is the body already fighting something and it is weak and susceptible at catching something more.

This can also work for you, Mom.

I do this with my son and I am lucky as I am an alternative arts provider. So, I am able to prevent much of the 'ick' before it starts. But a bit of this will go a long way.

But if you keep your child home, you at least understand that can put an end to the 'roller coaster' effect it can cause for others that are in your situation. This is why I am adamant about keeping my son home when he exhibits any sign of illness.

I would also recommend if you can... see if you can do any work from home. Many companies have a way to network for employees to work from home.

That's tough. I've been lucky. My husband helps out a lot. I'm still the one that has to call in because he makes a lot more than me, but I'm also lucky I have an understanding boss. On the other hand I also have given my children lots of lessons on how to keep from getting sick. I found some worksheets on Lysol's website (my kids love to color and do "homework" - weird I know, but there it is LOL). We also try to maintain healthy diets and eat lots of fruits and veggies. I had to miss a whole week during the H1N1 outbreak, but all in all our strategy of just avoiding getting sick has helped. The kids know about their T Zone (not to touch their faces), how to wash their hands, washing often, covering their mouths with their elbows, and they bring healthy lunches to school - as the school lunches are not very healthy. I hope this helps. I do know another Mom - that doesn't work - who has offered (and I take advantage of) to put the kids on the bus for me. She also said she doesn't mind keeping them for me if they have low fevers and can't go to school. Maybe you can reach out to some of the other Moms? Age old saying is - it takes a village to raise a child. I hope I offered some ideas to help. I really feel for you - it's very hard to take care of everyone - and work on top of it. You're not alone.

Perhaps you could find an older woman who could come sit with your kids when they're home sick. Maybe put notices in church bulletins or senior centers? Sometimes pediatric nurses (esp. the young ones) do sitting--maybe on a day off? Even if you could get a half day of babysitting that would help. Any way you could do some of your work from home on those days? A local mother's group would expand your resources. I know there are people out there, you just have to find them! Good luck with this.

J., I feel your pain! As a working mother, I know how stressful it is when the kids are sick or when you know a snow day is coming.

You didn't mention what your job is like, but some employers are willing to allow flexibile schedules (i.e., come in early or stay late to make up your time). Talk to your boss or the person who handles personnel at your company and see if they offer any solutions. Big companies some times have resources your may not know about and small companies may be more flexible when they know you are willing to work with them. Also, if one of your children suffer from a chronic problem that causes you to miss reguarly (asthma is a good example), you may qualify for Family Medical Leave (FMLA) protection. This usually doesn't provide you paid leave, but a company cannot fire you for missing to care for family if it it an FMLA protected health concerns. (Unfortunately, routine bouts of the colds, etc., do not qualify).

I wish you the best!

You have already gotten lots of great advise on both keeping your kids healthy and help when they are sick. One thing no one mentioned is that there are some "sick" daycare centers. These are typically drop-in type daycares or you can make a reservation the night before if you know your child will be out of school due to being sick. They are specifically designed for parents who need to work, but have a sick child. It is a clean facility often run by healthcare providers; some even located at local hospitals. I know when I lived in FL, Morton Plant had a sick child drop-in daycare for days when your child was sick and could not attend regular daycare or school. I am in TN, so I am not sure if something like this is available in your area, but could be worth looking into. The bonus is that being run by healthcare workers, they can administer medicines like Tylenol if necessary and monitor your child's illness throughout the day for you. Here is a link to a center in my area, but maybe you could find something similar in your area. http://www.todaycare.com/home

Good luck! I am about to venture into similar territory as my husband is about to get his CDL and will be on the road for 2-3 weeks at a time.

Sorry to hear about this, I know it can be stressful to work and care for children.
If you have a desk job and your boss wouldn't mind you working from home on those days, consider GoToMyPC.com so you can connect to your office computer from home; I used it for many years (2 of them full time) before my company got a server I could log on to and it work wonders. It also helped to build trust with my employer because he could see what I was doing from my office computer. If your employer doesn't want to pay fot it, you do it (its about $30 or so a month) but it will be worth it.
Good luck and I hope some of the other ladies advice helps you on trying to keep your kids healthy.

Hello J.:

When my son was younger I would check at the church women that were retired. I had a least of 3 that I used when he was sick. Also check with your local childcare resource line. Some cities have sick daycare. This can be very hard. I will be praying for you.

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This is really a hard one J. and there is no easy solution. You do need support. Can you afford to hire someone? A college student, a nursing student, etc.... Start putting feelers out there. There may even be a retired person in your neighborhood looking for occasional extra dollars.

Is the Dad of your children involved? Can he help or help financially with the sitter?

You say there is no family around. I realize this may be an impossible idea, but is it possible that you could move closer to family? Is there a support system for you if you lived in a different place? If that IS a possibility, consider it. In my mind if there is someone you trust that would be willing to help somewhere else that would be the best. Or can that person come live with or near you?

I'm sure I don't have to tell you to be the best employee ever! Be honest with your employer and if possible offer to do work from home on the days you can't go in. Get in as early as possible on the good days, etc... Make yourself so good at your job that they are willing to weather the sick days.

Hang in there!
P.

p.s. if your kids aren't on vitamins consider getting them on them. I sell vitamins and I can tell you since my family started taking them regularly we just don't get sick as much. And when we do get sick it is milder.
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Updated

This is really a hard one J. and there is no easy solution. You do need support. Can you afford to hire someone? A college student, a nursing student, etc.... Start putting feelers out there. There may even be a retired person in your neighborhood looking for occasional extra dollars.

Is the Dad of your children involved? Can he help or help financially with the sitter?

You say there is no family around. I realize this may be an impossible idea, but is it possible that you could move closer to family? Is there a support system for you if you lived in a different place? If that IS a possibility, consider it. In my mind if there is someone you trust that would be willing to help somewhere else that would be the best. Or can that person come live with or near you?

I'm sure I don't have to tell you to be the best employee ever! Be honest with your employer and if possible offer to do work from home on the days you can't go in. Get in as early as possible on the good days, etc... Make yourself so good at your job that they are willing to weather the sick days.

Hang in there!
P.

p.s. if your kids aren't on vitamins consider getting them on them. I sell vitamins and I can tell you since my family started taking them regularly we just don't get sick as much. And when we do get sick it is milder.
copy and paste this link:
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...

J.,

I am a single mom as well and I TOTALLY understand what you are going through. Just last week I missed 3 days of work because of sick kids and the day care called on yesterday for a pick up. I have been very lucky to have a job that understands that the needs of our kids come first. I do have to work longer to catch up for the days that I missed. I do have a college student that is going to school to be a teacher as my back up. Even though she gets out of school at 12, I figure I can at least go to work half a day. So maybe you want to look into that.

I hope everything works out for you and your children!!

I write this as my child is home sick. He's 11, so he can stay by himself.I have a 8 year old, that if she's sick, I'll have to stay home with her. I make sure they get their rest, and do alot of praying that my daughter will stay well. I have tried to educate them, that its very important to stay well,so they can go to school.I used to work only weekends, so it was great.I could pick them up on a moments notice,but I too had to get a fulltime job, and don't have the luxury of getting child support very often, so I have to work. I find as the children get older, they can fight off germs better. I agree with everyone else, that maybe there's someone in your area, that wouldn't mind chipping in now and then. Get out there and network. Good luck to you!!

I pray things work out for you.

Isn't it sad how sometimes being a stay at home mom is dissed because you don't get a paycheck for mothering, managing a household, volunteering, etc.? People just expect you to be the one to juggle and clean up the mess because you "don't work". Sounds like you have been doing it all for a long time and now you get to add a full-time job to your list of duties. Coincidences do happen, but to be sick "every other day" sounds suspicious. Is it possible that you are being manipulated by both your kids (who understandably feel insecure right now) and your ex? Seek help from your pediatrician and the school to find out if the kids are really sick or just need help adjusting to loss and demand that your ex step up to the plate...p.s.: You must tell (not ask) your ex to help - he is just as responsible for their welfare as you are, both morally and legally.

Ann H. had good ideas on how to keep them healthy and Angela K. had good ideas on how to find a backup sitter. I wanted to emphasize the fact that sugar suppresses the immune system and here is a good article http://www.wellsphere.com/healthy-living-article/sugar-s-... If your kids are eating pop-tarts or sugary cereals breakfast, maybe you could add some fruit to the breakfast with an eye to eliminating the sugary treats eventually. I have provided my kids fruit for breakfast for years and they are never sick. One also boils 2 eggs and eats an organic breakfast bar if she is still hungry. She used to eat Cheerios, which is low in sugar. My other one supplements with yogurt - the full fat ones are lower in sugar and usually they are organic but they at the minimum have no food colorings. A yogurt with probiotics might help also to boost their immune system. Oh, and store bought orange juice might just as well be a glass of sugar water - not good. They can eat an orange instead. What my kids like is a ripe pear (usually have to put in a closed paper bag for awhile to finish ripening) or red delicious apple (use one of those food washes, like from Trader Joes, if you can't find organic - apples are rated as being one of the ones with the most pesticides of all produce), banana, grapes (wash these good too). Good luck!

Communicate with your boss and explain what's going on because communication is the key. God will put someone in place to help you out. I would offer but I just open up a home child care and cannot have sick children. But I will be praying that this work itself out quickly. Keep thinking positive no matter how the situation looks the sun is shining on the other side.

God bless. I have some great people in my circle that could help you out from time to time but we would need to start building some kind of trust so that you will feel safe leaving kids so if you would like call me or email me.

Perhaps you should look into your childrens' diets. Poor nutrition is a BIG cause in kids being sick. Since we have switched to healthy living and cut out soda, sugars, fast food, etc, my whole family is hardly EVER sick. If someone does come down with something, you can usually set your watch to 24 hours and they are back to normal......

And chiropractic care also helps kids fight off anything from colds to ear infections, etc.

The transitions that they've been experiencing are bound to have an effect on their bodies. Stress does all kinds of things to all of us (different effects on different personalities, ages, genders, etc).

Try to keep their routines as consistent as possible, eat wholesome meals (together as much as possible), only healthy snacks at home that you can prepare and eat together (raw fruits and veggies, cheeses, wheat crackers, raisins, popcorn, milk and juices, etc), and give them (and yourself) supplements of vitamin C, Zinc, echinacea, calcium, etc to help boost natural immunities.

Pray with them, love on them, and keep as relaxed and upbeat as possible. Even small changes in habits and attitudes can make huge differences!

God bless and keep on keepin' on!