hello,
I have two daughter, 2 and 4, and they used to sleep in separate rooms. We used to have a great bedtime routine. They both did great and went to sleep on time and in peace. I decided to put them in the same room to have a free room for toys and turn it into the playroom. Now that they are both in the same room, bedtime routine is chaos, it takes forever, they get out of bed, sing, play, fight, and so it takes for ever for them to sleep, and mom end up frustrated and angry. Do any of you have any suggestions, tips or things that have worked for you ? Thanks in advance!
Thanks everyone for all your tips and experience! It certainly has helped a lot. I've been staggering bedtime and it has worked really great. I guess I didn't want to do that at first because I felt it was "unfair" to the little one, but boy it doesn't seem that way anymore!
I really think it is gonna pick up pace very fast. They still haven't woken up in the same bed yet, I am waiting for that to happen!!
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C.J.
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Dallas
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When my boys shared a room, the only sanity we had with beadtime routines was putting the yonger one to bed first. However, splitting the duty helped too. Daddy reads book to one in living room, while I read/sang to other in their bed. Helped keep bedtimes as close as possible. Typically big brother gets the living room time. The sweet/funny thing is that even though we put them to sleep in different beds and times, they always migrated to the same bed sometime in the night.
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M.P.
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Dallas
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Hi A.,
I haven't read any of the other responses, but can tell you that I have 3 daughters (5,4, and 2) who all sleep in the same room out of choice and most nights they do beautifully. I will say that the two year old is somewhat disruptive, but that's to be expected...she's 2!! That said, what I like to do is stagger their bedtime. I start with the 2 year old at 7. We read a book and snuggle, then I tell her good night and leave the room. It gives her time to get the wiggles out and calm down. By the time my 4 year old is done with brushing her teeth etc...the 2 year old is too sleepy to interfere! So we do 7 then 7:30 and then 8 and most nights they're asleep by 8:30.
Good luck! Stick with it. In the long run, I think they'll have great memories of sharing their space. At least for a while! ;-)
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D.J.
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Dallas
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Try putting the younger one to bed 30 mins. earlier than the older one.
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C.M.
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St. Louis
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My kids are 7.5 months and 2.5 and they share a room but my youngest is still young and in a crib (obviously) so I do not have to deal with the chaos...however, I suggest trying to put them to bed earlier if you know it takes them longer to wind down. If you cannot get them to settle down, threaten them with putting them to bed at different times!
They are probably just excited about being able to sleep in the same room (it's like a party every night!). Have you just recently moved them? I'd say give it time but also give them time to unwind in their rooms - maybe 10-20 minutes before you intend to put them to bed, have their teeth brushed, pajamas on, etc and let them play in there.
If they continue to fight/play/sing, just leave the room. They'll tire out eventually! A friend of mine put her twins in the same room (toddler beds) and every night they'd go to bed without a peep and in the morning, one would be in the other's toddler bed with her! They never were loud but they were obviously still playing after the door was shut and the lights were off!
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S.B.
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Chicago
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I shared a room with my sister up until about 6th grade. Since they didn't start out this way it's possible that they're treating the new situation as a "sleepover party." I think eventually the novelty will wear off. Continue the routine and be sure to tell them once lights are out they must stay in bed unless it is an emergency. I wouldn't get too upset about them singing or talking to each other, but no toys and no getting out of bed to play. My sister and I would love to tell stories and make up songs, and we both love to look back on those memories with a smile.
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M.B.
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Dallas
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Here's what might seem like a crazy thought, but it worked fantastic for us since I have a small home (1600 sq ft). In order to have a "play room" for my two sons, I forteited the master bedroom and we converted it into a combination bedroom and playroom. My older son has his own room (the smallest bedroom) and then I have the middle size room which is still large enough for a queen bed, dresser, wardrobe and two night stands. This has worked extremely well as it keeps the chaos of toys, kids playing video games, etc. out of the main living area, which stays pretty tidy. My sons are now teens and the playroom has become the place they hangout. They have a futon, a mini fridge, TV, etc. (in half the room/. This also works extremely well for sleepovers or when they have friends over - it gives them some privacy.
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A.B.
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Dallas
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I have 2 daughters, now 9 and 8, and they always shared a room... always. I think this is a great gift to give them... the gift of companionship. I suspect that they will always share a room. I look forward to the late night chit-chats that we often have as I am tucking them into bed. Just take control of the situation; bedtime is bedtime. We established this LONG ago, so it has never been an issue. Our bedtime routine consists of picking out clothes for the next day, a hug and kiss, a tuck in (putting the blankets on top of them), and back scratches. Have a long talk with them-- have them plan out what they want to do for a routine (since they are young, I suspect it will be a story)... and yes, put the 2 year old to bed a tad earlier. But when they are older, and they go at the same time, you can re-evaluate the routine based on age. Good luck!
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A.M.
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Dallas
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Hi,
I know how you feel, have you tried putting the youngest to bed 1st, about half an hour before your 4yo, but wait until he/she is asleep. Tell your 4yo that b/c he/she is the eldest their allowed to stay up a bit longer, but also make it clear that if the youngest is woken then it's back to normal.
If during that short time they have a cuddle etc.., ( just a bit of quality time really) with mum in peace then that half hour becomes quite valuable to them. I hope this helps, good luck!! x
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K.E.
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Dallas
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Hello I have all three of my kids in the same room because my mother moved in and we needed my son's room. What I found to help was put them down at different times. My oldest is 6 and she goes to school so I put her to bed first at 7:30. My next is 4 and he goes to bed at 8 and my youngest turned 2 today and she use to go at 8:30 but now she goes with her sister at 7:30 because I realized she wasn't getting enough sleep. This works for us. By the time the next one goes down for bed the first is knocked out. Now on the weekends i put them all down at the same time and tell them they can play and talk as long as they stay in their own beds and dont get too loud. Hope this helps.
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K.M.
answers from
Boston
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Lately I have had this problem and I sometimes let the older one fall asleep in my bed and move her over later on. She thinks it's a treat for her, I tell her that she gets no books or cuddling if she goes there, but she actually agrees to the deal and goes right to sleep. The little one gets books and cuddles in their room and doesn't miss the big one, I guess since she gets alone time with Mommy this way. It's not the ideal solution but it gets them both to sleep on time so I'm going with it for now. If the younger one clues in on the fact that the older one is getting to sleep in Mommy's bed even for a while, then I will have to stop it but for now it's the path of least resistance.
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C.B.
answers from
Detroit
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My boys are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 and share a room. Sometimes I can reason with them when they give me small issues. But, I have learned that if they are revved up to do something, it is just going to be a rough night of bedtime (I think this even happens for some kids that don't share a room). But, this rarely happens now, because if they give me a significant amout of trouble, I take away something they really want/like the next day. Sometimes that causes some crying/tantrums to deal with the next day to stick to my guns and take that certain thing away (a certain toy, a certain treat, a certain tv program). But, they have learned that I will follow through and when they start doing it again and I remind them about that certain thing they had taken away, they usually settle down.
ps. If I follow through on taking something away, I can use that for other situations too, if they start to act up at the store or anywhere, I remind them of that thing they got taken away. Of course, when they go to bed like they should (which a little talking here and there is just expected sometimes), I praise them and will try to give them some sort of treat the next day like an extra cartoon at bed or something and tell them that is because they did so good the night before.