A.,
Oh, the stories I could tell you. I am multi-racial--chinese grandmother, Hawaiian great grandmother, island indian, east indian, Scotts, English and (we suspect Cape Verdian) and more. I'm from the caribbean where I blended, came to Louisiana where suddenly everyone wanted to pin me down to one race, guess which one. Whenever people meet me they wonder what my race is or they assume that I am the prevalent minority where they are -- in Florida I'm Latina, in Hawaiia I'm Hawaiian, I've been taken for a mixed Aborigine, mixed Native American, and I could go on.
My husband is white, Scotts & English--a yankee.
I have eight year old boy-girl twins. My son has blond hair my daughter caramel colored hair. Both have gorgeous wavy/curly hair. Both are a light honey complexion. One time a neighbor's mother asked my husband if my kids had been out in the sun a lot. He said with a grin, "All the time. Night time, too."
I have been the nanny, the maid, and more.
My friend who is half vietnamese (born there) and 1/2 not sure what, her husband is white. HER kids look more mixed and have been mistaken as mine. She's been the nanny and maid, too.
I could go on. But what I do most of all is laugh. People aren't making these mistakes because they're being racist or mean, they're doing it because they notice and they are interacting and dont have the experience to deal with this situation. I learned there were three types of people those who *assumed* and therefore treated you according to the stereotypes they had in mind and those who asked, bumbled, made mistakes, but were open to the uniqueness of your situation. (The third are the really racist, but that's another email.) If someone makes a mistake, don't assume they mean it in a bad way. It's too hard on YOU to walk around with a negative attitude. Gently correct them. 98% of the time, they just don't know any better. Most people want to learn because they realize they're in a quickly changing world.
As for the doctor thing... You have a relationship with your doctor and your children's doctor. Your children's doctor knows enough from having met you to run the right tests. The medical forms are for insurances and statisticians, you do not have a relationship with them. To my knowledge, no emergency room doctor or temporary doctor is going to need to know your child's race in order to treat an emergency situation. Put what you feel comfortable putting on the form.
I usually put "other" for myself and my kids. Why? Because if someone needs more information, I want them to ASK, not assume.
When it comes to non-medical forms, mix if up. Have fun. It doesn't matter.
I once sat down to do an EKG where the computer needed my race but didn't have the option of "other." What does an EKG machine need my race for???? I said Eskimo. I got the same read out as the last time.
We live in a world, where people are going to try to put people of mixed race into one category or another, but we dont fit. Culturally we don't fit. Medically we don't fit.
AND unfortunately, there are people who try to apply race in a medical situation. They look to race for the answer, and that means sometimes they miss other things.
The fact is everyone should be checked for all of these "genetic" things. Because more people are mixed than they realized. The medical profession just hasn't caught up with that fact.
Sorry for the long email response. I hope it helped.
Your beautiful baby boy is blessed. He will be able to transcend racial and cultural limits in a very unique way. Enjoy the experience with him.