Slapping 11 Mn Old

Okay. A lot of people will not agree with me because they fear child and family service, but I'd say when they slap, bite, pinch or anything else you don't like, give them a taste of their own medicine. My Grandson bit me and I let him know what it felt like and he hasn't done it since. Kids, babies these days are so smart, he will continue unless you teach him the feel. I hope child and family reads this and comes to me, I got something for them.....Well behaved Grandchildren and respectable children. The Lord says,"SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD" That means if you spare the rod, the child will be spoiled and that's what you are doing if you don't teach

I have to agree with Kay here. You are the boss and your child needs to know it!!! I would add my own advice but she pretty much covered it. Kids are a lot smarter than we think you have got to put your foot down before the problem gets out of control! And if you don't like slapping him on his hand then pop him on his behind!! There is nothing wrong with it, it's called discipline(just make sure you never do it out of anger always be calm and loving). I hope you get things worked out!!

I definitely am opposed to hitting or slapping your child back. What kind of a message is that?!? It only lets him know if you do it, so can he.
He is testing you and seeing the cause and effect....he needs to know his boundaries and what I might recommend is holding him secure and tight, letting him know it is NOT okay to hit or slap. Also, it might be a good idea to have your child be examined by your pediatrician to make sure there are no underlying problems going on.
goodluck. He needs to know you love him and support him with loving discipline.
.

Tell him what he's doing really hurts,even cry when he does it.Let him know that by him doing this he is causing pain.Have you consulted his peditrician about this?There may be something more to whats going on but it's probably him just curious about cause and effect like most kids his age are.

It's hard to comment without more background info like does he only do it to you and daddy or to everyone? Does he have other caregivers? With my grandson, it was that his other grandparents allowed these types of things from him and he was not corrected there...they laughed when he slapped them, etc...we can't control what they do with him at teir place, but we told him he can't do that here at our house because it is not nice and it hurts and we want him to be a nice boy, not mean to anyone because it is not acceptable to hit people. You have to stop it now while he is small or it will only get worse. I give our grandson a time out if he doesn't stop after 1 warning, but your son is still really small so you might try holding his hands so he can't move them if he hits or scratches you and tell him NO HIT in a stern voice or put him down on the floor and don't hold him if he starts to do it and maybe he will relate you not holding him to him hitting or digging you. Good luck. B.

I have an 11mo. old son too. I dont think they understand at this point that it hurts. I dont really agree with slapping them to teach them. I liked the response below about holding his hands and telling him a stern no. You also might try putting him in his bedroom, away from you. But I think you need his other caregivers to do the same, so he doesnt get confused. Be strict on it though. If he cries, he cries. It will be harder on you listening to him then it will be on your son. Hope this helps. :)

When your son does this, does it seem like he does not want to be picked up? Does he only do this sometimes when picked up (like when he doesn't want a diaper change or is focusing on a toy), or pretty much all the time when picked up. I don't want to scare you, but 12 months is around the age when babies with Autism begin to display it. Does he make eye contact and seem to enjoy interacting with people?
If he's just throwing a mini-tantrum, just try to distract him and talk to him before you pick him up and change activities (to give him a transition and make him feel a little more in control). I say this because 11 months is too young for him to really learn not to do this (they don't have enough impulse control). Still, you can calmly (not loudly) "no hitting (or scratching). That hurts mommy." And then "would you like to hug mommy instead" or something. Sometimes toddlers act out physically when they actually need more physical affection. Still, if he seems to not want to be touched in general, call your Dr.

avoid making any noise when this happens. Cut his nails very short until he stops scratching. Just put him away from you. In the play pen or in his room with a gate up. The separation will be too much for him to bear and he will learn that slapping and scratching means separation and he will stop. After a minute you can go get him and say "you can stay with us if you can be nice, hitting is not nice."

He won't stop breathing because he's crying, doing that is also an attention getter and he's getting your attention.

S.,

Let me know when you have a solution! I have an 11-1/2 month old son also. He does the same thing with me! He'll either slap me in the chest repeatedly or PULLLLLL (very hard) my hard. He's smiling the whole time, so I know it's not out of spite.

I've tried telling him, "OW, that hurts Mommy... NO".

Ummm... that doesn't work. LOL!

I've tried fake crying but he thinks it's a game and now he fake cries (sounds more like a fake cough) when I fake cry. LOL!!! Aren't they hilarious?!?!

Again, let me know if you find the answer! my guess is it's just a phase where they like to push, pull, hit, throw anything in their grasp (even if it's a caregiver)! I'll keep telling him "no" and hope it sticks one of these days.

Good luck!

J.

From a mother with a son who has autism:
Does your child have any of the signs for autism? For example: ***

Research now suggests that children as young as 1 year old can show signs of autism. The most important thing you can do as a parent or caregiver is to learn the early signs of autism and understand the typical developmental milestones your child should be reaching at different ages. Please look over the following list. If you have any concerns about your child's development, don't wait. Speak to your doctor about screening your child for autism. While validated screening for autism starts only as young as 16 months, the best bet for younger children is to have their development screened at every well visit with a highly validated developmental screening tool. If your child does have autism, early intervention may be his or her best hope.

Watch for the Red Flags of Autism

(The following red flags may indicate a child is at risk for atypical development, and is in need of an immediate evaluation.)

In clinical terms, there are a few “absolute indicators,” often referred to as “red flags,” that indicate that a child should be evaluated. For a parent, these are the “red flags” that your child should be screened to ensure that he/she is on the right developmental path. If your baby shows any of these signs, please ask your pediatrician or family practitioner for an immediate evaluation:
· No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter
· No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions by nine months or thereafter
· No babbling by 12 months
· No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving by 12 months
· No words by 16 months
· No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months
· Any loss of speech or babbling or social skills at any age
*This information has been provided by First Signs, Inc. ©2001-2005. Reprinted with permission. For more information about recognizing the early signs of developmental and behavioral disorders, please visit http://www.firstsigns.org or the Centers for Disease Control at www.cdc.gov/actearly.

Common Characteristics of Autism
While understanding of autism has grown tremendously since it was first described by Dr. Leo Kanner in 1943, most of the public, including many professionals in the medical, educational, and vocational fields, are still unaware of how autism affects people and how they can effectively work with individuals with autism. Contrary to popular understanding, many children and adults with autism may make eye contact, show affection, smile and laugh, and demonstrate a variety of other emotions, although in varying degrees. Like other children, they respond to their environment in both positive and negative ways.
Autism is a spectrum disorder. The symptoms and characteristics of autism can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations, from mild to severe. Although autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors, children and adults can exhibit any combination of the behaviors in any degree of severity. Two children, both with the same diagnosis, can act very differently from one another and have varying skills.
Parents may hear different terms used to describe children within this spectrum, such as autistic-like, autistic tendencies, autism spectrum, high-functioning or low-functioning autism, more-abled or less-abled. More important than the term used is to understand that, whatever the diagnosis, children with autism can learn and function productively and show gains with appropriate education and treatment.
Every person with autism is an individual, and like all individuals, has a unique personality and combination of characteristics. Some individuals mildly affected may exhibit only slight delays in language and greater challenges with social interactions. The person may have difficulty initiating and/or maintaining a conversation. Communication is often described as talking at others (for example, monologue on a favorite subject that continues despite attempts by others to interject comments).
People with autism process and respond to information in unique ways. In some cases, aggressive and/or self-injurious behavior may be present. Persons with autism may also exhibit some of the following traits.
· Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
· Difficulty in expressing needs; uses gestures or pointing instead of words
· Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
· Laughing, crying, showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
· Prefers to be alone; aloof manner
· Tantrums
· Difficulty in mixing with others
· May not want to cuddle or be cuddled
· Little or no eye contact
· Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
· Sustained odd play
· Spins objects
· Inappropriate attachments to objects
· Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
· No real fears of danger
· Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
· Uneven gross/fine motor skills
· Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf although hearing tests in normal range.
For most of us, the integration of our senses helps us to understand what we are experiencing. For example, our senses of touch, smell and taste work together in the experience of eating a ripe peach: the feel of the peach fuzz as we pick it up, its sweet smell as we bring it to our mouth, and the juices running down our face as we take a bite. For children with autism, sensory integration problems are common. Their senses may be over-or under-active. The fuzz on the peach may actually be experienced as painful; the smell may make the child gag. Some children with autism are particularly sensitive to sound, finding even the most ordinary daily noises painful. Many professionals feel that some of the typical autism behaviors are actually a result of sensory integration difficulties.
There are many myths and misconceptions about autism. Contrary to popular belief, many autistic children do make eye contact; it just may be less or different from a non-autistic child. Many children with autism can develop good functional language and others can develop some type of communication skills, such as sign language or use of pictures. Children do not "outgrow" autism but symptoms may lessen as the child develops and receives treatment.
One of the most devastating myths about autistic children is that they cannot show affection. While sensory stimulation is processed differently in some children with autism, they can and do give affection. But it may require patience on a parent's part to accept and give love in the child's terms.
***I know that was a lot of information, but I just want you to be autism aware. I would be happy to talk with you via private email, or anyone else who is having the same issues.

S.

When my son was that age he would also hit, pull hair or even bite. Every time he would do it, I would IMMEDIATELY put him down and walk away. That was the worst punishment in the world to him. After almost a week of that he stopped. Good luck!

I think most children do this when they are very young because they don't know how else to express themselves. I too don't believe they know it hurts when they start hitting. When both my boys started hitting I slapped their hands the first few times so they would know that hurts. Then, I started holding their hands firmly with a stern "Noooo, Owwwwwie". I then tried to get behind my boys when somebody was bothering (usually hitting) them and I got on my knees behind my son and assisted my son in telling the other child "Don't hit me". I was trying to teach my boys how they should express this point without hitting back. This phase did not last long at all with either of my boys. Once they understood that hurt, We don't hurt others, nobody should hurt them, and mommy was there to help, they went to an adult for help like I had given insted of hitting and once they learned to talk they immiteated the way I handled the situation when I got behind them.