Sleeepless Mom

Dear D.,
Sleep is so important; lack of it affects every aspect of your life, and how you relate to each other and deal with life. You and your husband need to agree how you will handle this with your daughter, and support each other, because it will be hard to break your "bad habits". (I know from personal experience-3 kids, ages 17,14,&9).Put some glitter-y water in a spray bottle for the "monsters" in her room, be creative, and BE FIRM! You all need to sleep, and she will benefit from being a big girl, and conquering a big fear. This is an awesome opportunity to grow closer to your husband, too, as you both find out you CAN be good parents as you teach your precious daughter to be strong and independant. Let me know how it goes. Good luck and God bless your family. T. R.

Had the same problem. Advice I got was to use "monster spray" to keep those pesky things away. I used a bath and body works room spray in a nice scent. Use something that lingers a little bit. We talked about the spray and how it gets rid of monsters for the whole night and they cannot come back into the house at all once I've sprayed. We read the "directions" on the bottle. We also made a game out of her kicking the monsters booties. We laid in bed and pretended to kick our feet at monsters in the room. Sometimes we'd karate chop them but she seemed to like the spray better. I did a reward system for her sleeping in her own bed too, to inconsistent results. Finally, I just talked to her about sleeping in her bed all night and what to do if she woke up and was cold or lonely. It must have been just a stage because she got over it except for occasional visits, which I remind myself I will miss so desparately when she's older and that losing sleep is a small price to pay for that snuggle and kick to my head that always seems to happen. Good luck!!

Important note: make a decsion, who's more important in your bed: husband or child? Not a good idea to make a habit of child in bed w/ you and spouse.
Temper tantrums never flew in our house. Each of our 3 kids had one or make that a partial tantrum then my husband told them to quit or he'd give them something to cry about. This being said with my FULL approval.
Our babysitter (husb and I work weekdays) used to tell the kids when they complained or woke w/ nightmares/frights during naps to get out their gun (pointed finger in gun fashion) and shoot the "bad guys." Seemed to do the trick w/ our kids. The babysitter hails from OK in a rural area. She's a gem, treated our kids like their were her grandkids..

When i brought my son home from the hospital, he was in his bed. That was the end of it. I think probably around a year old when it would get really cold at night he would come into our room and sleep becuase it kept him warm. But then it was all the time. What I had to do, and being a mother it killed me, I just had to put him into his room and close the door. Sure he would cry for the first few minutes and then fall asleep. It hurt but now,im so thankful. He sleeps every single night in his bed and doesnt try to sneak into mine. I know it will hurt but, mommy needs her rest to. Good luck.

D., Let your daughter know that you bought a special kind of monster protection for her. Get a spray bottle and fill it with water and set the sprayer to the very fine setting. Every night before bedtime and in front of your your daughter, spray her entire room with Mom's special spray for monsters. Tell her this spray will not let any monsters come through and her entire room will be sealed and protected. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, find out the exact spot that is worrying her and spray that spot again if needed. Good luck!

My son had this problem too - my solution: I got a fancy water bottle and filled it with water. I printed a lable with "Monster Spray", and some clip art of a monster and the universal "no" sign over it, put it in a bag with some tissue and gave it to him saying that I went to the store and bought it for him. Print out a directions sheet for her: Directions: Stand in the center of your room and spray three times. Also spray in closet and on the bed once in the morning and once at night. Do not overuse or more monsters may appear. Use for one week and all monsters will disappear. Reapeat if needed in one month. Works great. They feel like they are in control over their environment and are taking care of the problem. Worth a shot. J. D.

We did the monster spray too. Our daughter thought it was hilarious. My husband also call her on the phone and pretended to be a monster. He said he was going to come and visit her tonight and that she better not use that spray or listen to the beatles because he hates the spray and the Beatles and if she had either of those he wouldn't be able to stay because he would get sick. She still listens to the beatles when she goes to sleep and she's 8.

Dear D.:

There is more going on with you than a child that is wearing you down. Sorry love, but just like the monster story isnt true... your story isnt the complete story either.

I'm saying this because I would like to ask you to stop and really take a look at what is happening in your life. YOU are not happy. With a husband in Iraq you must have been worried out of your mind (I would be) and keeping your daughter close...being a little permissive is probably an understandable response. Have you had anyone to really talk to?

Reclaim yourself. YOU are in charge...not the baby. YOU. YOU make the rules and you are NOT a victim. You choose what Dynamic you will have with this child.

Tell her that everyone grows and it is time for her to be in her own room. When your husband puts her there...do not play the good Mom and 'rescue' her. This undermines her basic security.

It is going to be ugly for a while... but hand in there or you will have this problem in a different way when she becomes a teenager. Be a loving Mother now and do the tough stuff. You can do it! Maybe you can reward her with 1 week of restful sleep... she can go with you to McDonalds...whatever the 'treat' of choice is in your house.

I care greatly about your comfort and well being and i hope I have not sounded too harsh with you. You can do it!

D., I know what it's like to have your child sleep with you when your husband is deployed.. I made the same mistake the first time he left, and when he came back it was hard to let go of my son. You have to remember that you need your time with your husband, alone time, we would put our son down early, just incase it took him forver to fall asleep. Our routine consisted of a bath and a bedtime story, if he came into the room we would just take him back as many times as it took. It was hard at first, but he finally stopped after 1 week and my husband and I sleep alot better in our bed. Try it, it might help.. Good Luck!!!