Sleep!!! - Le Roy,NY

Hi M.,
I agree with the other mamas that she needs extra comfort right now. But I also wanted to ask if she heard or overheard anyone say anything along the lines of your loved one "has gone to sleep" or "is going to sleep forever". My daughter is 16 months old too and I know she hears and understands far more than you think. She might be afraid to go to sleep thinking that she might not wake up either. Just a thought. Give her lots and lots of love and I'm sure she will return to her schedule. with much sympathy for your loss, D.

Hi M..

Sorry to hear about the death in your family. It sounds like you daughter has sensed that something is off and she needs your re-assurance. She will return to her old schedule just keep up your regular bed time routine. I personally wouldn't allow a child to scream, if she can't tell you what's wrong, this is the only way she can communicate.

I just read an interesting study on Dr. Sears' website that suggests independent sleep training actually has the opposite effect later in life, as adults it is more difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep all night. It goes on to say that children who sleep near their parents have less sleep issues as well as less discipline problems and are more able to problem solve and play independently. Another recommendation I have is the book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

In today's day and age it is very inconvenient to have to ease a child to sleep and deal with them during the night when we need a good night's sleep ourselves. Good luck with finding a solution. I'm sure its been difficult with the death in the family and also stress at bedtime.

Condolences,
R.

You could try staying with her until she falls asleep for a few days. When my son was the age your daughter was I sat in the same room and read for a while with a book light. It gave him long enough to wind down and get sleepy and I was not giving him attention that would keep him up. You could sit in the doorway and it would be easy to leave. I did this for years and now at 3 he likes me to stay a few minutes (usually 5 or so) but can go to sleep on his own, in his own room. If he is more clingy I reassure him I am only in the next room and he can call me or come get me if he needs me.

hard to say.. but let her scream... go in in a few minutes.. pat her..then leave.. let her scream again.. wait 5 min.. then go in.. pat her.. soothe her.. then leave again... wait 10 min.. hopefully she'll fall asleep by now.. if not go in again.. just show her that you'll come back.. good luck...

I agree with the previous post that she definetly senses something is wrong and that is affecting her sleep. It is certainly a difficult time and this only adds to the stress. Just keep up the routine and it will pass. Don't worry about bad habits and let her know that you are there for her. I find that letting a child scream for longer than a minute or two does not lead to solving anything. It only causes everyone to get more stressed out. Can she sleep with you or on the floor next to you for at least part of the night until she feels more secure? She is clearly happy with the routine you have set up, she will go back to that as soon as things settle down.

Please take a look at what sleep expert Dr. Marc Weissbluth has to say http://billiediscoverytoys.blogspot.com/2008/09/sleep-beg...

I think that she is probably reacting to your feelings of loss. Little children are very sensitive and even though she probably cannot tell you, she may feels a difference in you as you move through the grieving process. Her wanting you to be there to reassure her that everything is going to be alright may be what she needs for a while. I would go with the flow, maybe hold her or cuddle with her more during the day. The wonderful thing about children is that they give you unconditional love as well, let her be with you...sending good thoughts to you..