Sleep Deprived and Frustrated with 3Am Wake up Call!

Actually- it's quite typical to see this change at 6 months. As children grow and develop we see disruptions to their sleep and eating patterns (they are learning so many new skills and growing at such a rapid pace).

here's more info on what is sometimes called the "Wonder Weeks":
We know that development in physical skills happens in 'steps' - one day a baby can take a step and start to walk, whereas the day before he could not take that step. Similarly, it is thought that the way that a baby can think, feel, notice and understand what is happening around him (mental development) might also happen in steps.

For example, at around the age of 8 weeks, a baby can begin to recognise more of the people and things that she can see around her.
At about 6 months she can start to realise that some people are around most of the time (her parents for example), while some people are strangers. Before that time she did not know that some people were strangers.
Changes in thinking can show up in changes in what a baby can do, and how she behaves.
During these times when a baby's ability to understand the world around him is changing, he may need more attention.

He may cry more, be more fussy and need more comforting. This may be due to other reasons, such as being unwell.
Some of the babies lose their appetites.
Some babies who have been sleeping well may take more time to go off to sleep and wake more often.
Some young children who have been happily exploring their world may become more clingy, and become upset much more easily.
They may show an increased need for body contact with their mothers.
Sometimes these weeks are called 'regression weeks', because a baby or young child will seem to have gone backwards in her development. In fact, she is making a big step forward, but this step is confusing to her, and she will behave more like a younger baby.

The 'sunny' weeks
When the baby has fully 'climbed' this developmental step, there may be several weeks when she is happier. She can happily try out her new skills. She may be less easily upset (less temperamental). She may allow you to be out of sight more often, and go off to sleep more easily.

Temperament
Some babies are generally easier to get on with than other babies. They tend to be happier, cry less and go to sleep more easily.
Other babies are easily upset and cry a great deal more often.
Even 'easy' babies have these fussy 'wonder' weeks. It may be easier to help them calm down when they cry than it is to calm a 'difficult' baby, but there will be times when they are more distressed than usual.

Other things that can cause a baby to be fussy
Babies can be fussy for many other reasons.

A baby who is unwell or in pain is likely to be more distressed than usual. A nappy rash, for example, is very painful, and will cause a baby to cry more and have more difficulty going to sleep and have restless sleep.
It is often thought that babies are unsettled when they are teething. Research has shown that babies are not more distressed when they re teething, but not everyone is convinced. Maybe the teething has coincided with a fussy developmental stage.
An older baby who is separated from his parent may be very distressed when she returns. This is likely to be due to separation anxiety, not 'just a phase'.
Some babies have developmental delays or major health problems, which could alter the times that they go through these mental developmental milestones.

How to help your baby during these 'wonder' weeks
During these fussy weeks, babies seem to manage the developmental changes more easily if they get extra attention, get held more often and have extra comforting when they go to sleep.
Parents need to know that there will be these more difficult times, but that there will also be times when their baby will be happier and more easy to get along with.
If parents are not able to give their baby as much attention as he needs, the baby may find this mental developmental step more difficult to manage.

Predicting the 'wonder' weeks
Since most babies follow a similar pattern, it is possible to predict approximately when a child may have a fussy ('stormy') time. Some babies may become more distressed a week or so before or after the times listed here. Some babies may become quite distressed some times, but pass easily through the predicted 'stormy' time at other stages (they may also become very distressed for quite different reasons).

In the first year of life, the stormy times seem to happen around

5 weeks
8 weeks
12 weeks
17 weeks
26 weeks (6 months)
36 weeks
44 weeks
53 weeks (around 12 months).
There is more information about each 'wonder week' - about what development stage may be happening during a 'wonder week' in the book by Vanderrijt, H. & Plooij, F. (2003)
The Wonder Weeks.

My 16 month old does the same thing but I was stupid and picked him up at that age and put him in bed with us and he was fine I think sometimes they just want their mommy! My Dr. told me to let him cry it out and I am with you I can't do that....but the last 2 nights he has stayed in his bed until 7:30 am I don't know why nothing is different I guess he is just ready who knows....sorry I couldn't really help but atleast you are not alone :)

I would try Gripe water. This stuff is the best!!!You can find it at a vitamin store. They also have teething tablets that are homopaethic(all natural) that I would give to my son too. I found out that my son had gas and that was what was waking him up in the night. I would also try letting him cry it out a bit. He knows you are coming to him at that hour of the night and knows he is getting what he wants. Let him cry. I know it hurts, trust me I went there, but see if it works. If you know for a fact he is not hungry and you gave him enough to eat,then a lttle bit of crying is not going to hurt. Routine is everything.I think I put my son down at 9, which was the last time of feeding and he would begin to wake up about 6.
Hope this works,
R. (mother of a almost 2 yr boy)

Hello K.,

I do believe the answer would lie in giving your son too many naps during the daytime...I know he is only 6 months..but 1 is suffcient. Then try reading a book to him before bedtime making him drowsy while rubbing his back..he will eventually grow out of that. He will soon sleep through the night hon, you can count on it..lol..
take care..and many blessings to you & your child...Peace, M. D.

You are not alone if that makes you fell better. I'm a first time mom of a 19 wk old boy and I go through the same exact thing. 6 hours is the max he sleeps and no matter what he's up at 5:30 I'm looking for help to so hopefully we will get some here

hi K.
the best way to keep that little guy asleep at night is to let him have only two naps a day. one at about eleven in the morning then again at three in the afternoon. keep him up, keep him active, and he will begin sleeping through the night. teething is a rough time of life, but this too shall pass.
when i had little ones, i often found myself asleep on my feet during the night as i rocked my babies through teething months. it was worth it.
i suggest that you sleep when the baby sleeps, so you will be ready to play with him when he wakes up. it is all a matter of keeping him active during the day, so he will want to sleep at night.
hang in there, the rewards are great.
Good Luck Mom
Aunt Softe

I have 4 children and my last 2 were sleeping throught the night at 3 months for 12 hours. My first 2 did not sleep until they were one. After my second child I found a book called "Baby Wise". It was amazing! It is all about scheduling and teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own. Some people take the scheduling way too far but we do it with flexibility. You might want to try it out. Good Luck!

Sounds like he may be getting into a routine of eating. maybe try to give him more before bed? There's the paciifier thing. Since he's only 6 months I am not sure but I have heard of giving them water in the middle of the night if they wake. Why wake for water but when you can wake at any time for milk its worth it. I went through a spell when my son did something similar to me. It is frustrating. Hang in there. He's 2 now and sleeps great! He did around 1 year. Good luck.

I know it is frustrating. My son slept through the night at 3 months, got sick for over 4 months, and then woke up at least once a night until he was 13 months. My daughter slept through the night for about a week when she was 4 months, she is now 8 months and still can't make it through the night. I know its tempting, but try not to medicate. Its a bad habit, not needed and can be harmful. Do Not give the baby benadryl for sleeping purposes.
What does work, when the baby can hold a bottle on his own, you can give her a 4 oz bottle in the crib and let him suck on it until they go back to sleep. White noise makers help, Babies R Us sells one that plays over 20 different sounds; from the womb noise to ocean waters. When I am desperate, I let my baby sleep in the swing; the rocking and music sooth her.
It will get better. Pretty soon, you won't even remember how often the baby woke you up. As for now, just keep telling yourself (and baby) that one day they will be a teenager and you will be paying them back for these late nights! :P

K.,

You are not alone. My little guy didn't sleep well the first 9 months (waking up 4-5 times a night). There was a month where he woke up every 2 hours at night and wouldn't go back to sleep. Then there were the times we wouldn't fall asleep until 11pm or 12am.

I finally reached my breaking point and started reading every book possible. Babywise, The No Cry Sleep Solution, The Sleep Lady book, and Healthy Sleep Habits--Happy Child. We more or less followed the last one Healthy Sleep Habits-Healthy Child by Marc Weisbluth. The other three didn't work after weeks of trying each method.

I never thought I could let me child cry it out. My son had had bad reflux and needed medicine, often choking at night and not getting good sleep. At 9 months he was better and I needed to change my approach. He had gotten into the routine of waking up and having me there. I had to be pro-active and help him sleep

Regardless of what people say, you WILL NOT damage your child by letting them cry. I had several people on this site tell me that. Thankfully I didn't listen. I instead talked with other mommies and 90% of the time that is what they did. My son is sooooo different now! He is curious, less anxious, a good eater, engaging, learning fast and generally a much happier baby. I am happy too!

It took 3-4 weeks of keeping the method up, but even after the 1st week we noticed a difference. He sleeps for 11-12 hours a night. He's also teething a lot, but he has learned to sleep through it!

There is hope! Hang in there and feel free to email me privately if you need encouragement.

Trust your mother's intuition. What works for one does not always work for the other. Every child is different. Warm bath and cereal may make this one happy. Going to bed earlier may make your child happier, staying up later may make the other one happy. I have 2 girls, my oldest I would bathe and send to bed at 8, she would wake up aroung midnight for a bottle and go right back to sleep until 6, and never took a pacifier, but loved the cereal bottle. My second child we found that if you kept her up till about 10 pm she would sleep till about 6, she never took a bottle so at about 5 months we gave her cereal off a spoon, and she loved her pacifier. After both my birls started sleeping regularly throught the night I always tried to get them to go back to sleep with as little attention as possible in the middle of the night, but sometimes it is necessary. It could be something as simple as he is cold and needs a warmer set of P.J.'s, he could have gas, he could be going through a growth spurt, and he is hungry. Don't be affraid to try new things, but bottom line trust yourself. Do what you feel comfprtable with. Be confident in yourself.

Have you tried a bottle at night with some cereal in it?Maybe try his last bottle with a couple teaspoons rice cereal and and few ounces of bm or formula.Make sure to use the same nipple so you don't ruin a bunch,but make the hole big enough for the consistency to go thru.Also with my first I didn't do the binky but with this one I did and it helps.Just a suggestion I know lots of people are against them,but it helps some kids self soothe.
PS when possible if he naps YOU NAP!

My son is 5.5 months and he does the exact same thing. It is like his sleeping habits are so irratic. So I feel your sleep deprived pain!! People have told me it is just teething and it will pass, but when is the answer because they may take 2 to 3 months to get the first teeth. Well Just remember what I have been trying to tell myself is that these few months of sleep are only a blip in a long life ahead for the lil' boy. Well hope it helps to know someone else is experiencing the same thing as you!!

Hi K.,

I understand about your apprehension to attempt crying it out. We've never left our baby to cry, as I am certain it would damage her trust in us.

You said it seems he's hungry or wants oral stimulation - probably at 6 months it is teething, and he needs something to gum on. Each time my daughter broke a new tooth, she went back to longer stretches of sleep because the pain was gone. Or he may just be getting more aware of his surroundings and he misses mom.

Since you are breastfeeding you may be able to learn to lie on your side and breastfeed while the both of you are asleep. It took us about 2-3 months to learn but has saved me from many sleepless nights.

We are now at 19 months and our daughter sometimes needs to nurse to sleep, sometimes we rock and occasionally she falls asleep on her own with just a story. It takes time, but it's worth it IMHO to gently let her learn how to sleep on her own.

K., I hear you and feel for you. I'm in the same boat with my 5month and 1 week old. He's my second so I've had some experience but he seems really unpredictable in sleep too. He did the same as your son starting at 2 mos. sleeping at 4-6 hour stretches and then every 2 hours now at every 3. All I can say is hang in there I'm hearing it's just developmental and eventually they will sleep through. Mine seems happy and content during the day takes good naps (although a bit unpredictable there as well sometimes 30 minutes sometimes 2 hours!) and is hitting all his milestones... I've tried tylenol and teething tablets a few times thinking maybe he was uncomfortable but it didn't work so I guess he's just hungry.

This is still very common for 6 months old, don't freak! I know, when you need sleep, it is hard not to. Those woman who tell you about 11 hours nights aren't telling you of the off nights when that isn't true and the phases of weeks in between where it is not true either! I don't know why other moms do this, maybe it is truely amnesia, but it drove me nuts! i can tell you my son did do 10 hours around that age, but it was mingled with MANY sleepless nights as well. There were times when feeding was the only thing that would get him to fall asleep and STAY asleep. Mostly though, I picked him up and rocked him. Every mom has different opinions, here is mine. I never CIO. I hate the idea and I just disagree with it all together. I always did whatever my son needed and I lost sleep because of it. However, my sleep loss was limited to the first 15 months of his life, on and off of course. He is now 3 and falls asleep on his own in the pitch dark and even in a regular bed, I don't see him until morning. People comment to me all the time about how self assured he is and how safe he feels being able to sleep like that. I am convinced it is because he has always known that if he needed me, I will be there. I know so many moms who still go through so many sleep issues with there kids around the same age. I figure, I will go without sleep and without bringing him into my bed for 15 months if it means I sleep like a baby the rest of his life! What you do is totally up to you, but in any case, it will pass!

I had a lot of luck sending my husband in when my daughter did the same thing (woke but only nursed for a couple of minutes). We figured she wasn't really hungry, but she wouldn't let me go without nursing at least a little. My husband would hold her for five minutes and she'd drift back off. After less than a week, she stopped waking at that time. I hope you find a solution!

K.,

I have a daughter that will be 8 months in a couple of days. She did the same thing your son is doing...she was the best sleeper and then I introduced the solid foods...she got up. Then she started teething and she got up some more. She would sleep through the night a few nights a week then get up! During the last 2 months she is learning so much and I think that has a lot to do with it...not to mention the teething. I just went through 2 weeks with her up ever three hours (holy moly right?). Come to find out she just cut her first tooth yesterday. She slept 8 hours last night. Keep in mind that they need you if they are up. Your son could start having seperation anxiety as well and just want you to hold him for a few minutes until he goes back to sleep. All I can say is you are not he only one who is up at three, so hopefully that can provide you some comfort.

Also - if he is 6 months jump on the motrin it lasts longer and seems to give more relief for teething.

Good luck!!

I would totally cut out the milk especially if he only eats 2-3 ounces. You didn't mention, but does he suck on a pacifier?
My son is almost 7 months old. We took away his pacifier at 6 months cold turkey and began the Ferber method..which is a variation of the cry it out method. He has slept through the night ever since. And when he does wake up in the middle of the night we wait 5 minutes to go to him. And we never pick him up. Try calming him down by patting his back. But then walk out again. Let him cry for another 5 minutes and repeat the process. I have done this with both of my children and it works for us.

If you decide to take control and not break down and puck him up it will work.

Could he be teething?

Oh, you are going to get lots of advice on this subject :). VERY common issue. contrary to comments of the previous post, there are SOME babies that do sleep 11 hrs. Only SOME. My son started this at 3 weeks old and NO he DID NOT have moments in between. It REALLY does happen to people and they don't have amnesia! However that being said, I also have a 20 month old daughter and I did all the same things with her that I did with my son. She did not start sleeping through the night until she was 18th months (she was still waking up 2 to 3 times a night at 18 mths.). She still wakes up now and again and some times stays up for hours!! UGH! I even hear her talking in her room at night. So, here is the deal, some people use books (which you will get suggestions on), try them, you never know what will work. Some people have no problem letting them cry it out (I have never done this, just can't do it), and others just stick it out and know that it will end at some point. I chose to stick it out. I will admit that I am totally and utterly exhausted!!! It does affect you emotionally as well as physically. I don't recommend you use medicine to get your baby to sleep. This is really dangerous and can be habit forming. Do you really want your baby to depend on medicine to sleep? You will get LOTS of advice on this subject. Try them out and figure out what is going to work for you and your baby. GOOD LUCK!!

K.,
My suggestion would be "what you are afraid of". It doesn't hurt them to cry. And the pay off will be well worth it. You may say to yourself, "how long will he have to cry". The answer is, as long as it takes. Just go in his room every 15-20 minutes, rub his back, tell him you love him, and walk out. I had to do this with my (now 12 year old) daughter when she was little. The first night was the hardest at 45 minutes, but each night after got easier. It was hard, but she has been a great sleeper since then. I am no expert, but it sounds like he is just wanting some stimulation. The biggest problem is, the older her gets, the harder it will be for him to sleep ALL night on his own. It is hard to be a "good" mom when you are tired and sleep deprived. You will figure it out. Don't overthink things. None of us are perfect. Good luck. Keep us posted.

L. - Winter Haven, FL

Your doing great! Don't worry.....There's lots of women out there that are experiencing the same situation as you!!

Unfortunately K., as awful as it is, you may need to let him cry it out for a few nights. I realize that you will still be up and then you have to listen as well, but if he realizes that you are not available to him ALL THE TIME, that he will just have to tough it out! His habit will break, and you will be able to sleep. He's obviously not hungry or thirsty, so he is now at the 'let's see how much I can get from mommy' stage. Don't fall into it. It's okay not to run everytime. That does not make you a bad mommy or a failure.

Keep up the good work and stop with the Tylenol!!!

L. Hein
Author
THE BOOK "I'm Doing The Best I Can!" (They won't always be cute and adorable)
www.lisarhein.com

I did everything from walking my son, to rubbing his back while rocking him in a chair, to actually loading him up in the car and driving around my block for a while. Everything worked a little bit. The one thing that worked the best for me was to mix rice cereal in with the milk in a bottle and give him that before bed. It filled his belly and he slept soundly through the night. Every kid is different though, and what worked for mine may not work for yours. Can't hurt to try it though. Aslo I am letting everyone on here know that I am giving away free childsafe ID kits. They are simply cards with current photo, info and fingerprints so you have everything in case, god forbid, something were to happen. If you're interested email me here or at ____@____.com

When my youngest daughter was newborn, she would cry almost the whole time she was in the nursery at the hospital(we were there for 5 days). When the nurses would bring her to my room, she wold stop after just a few minutes and not cry until going back into the nursery. It wasn't anything special or spectacular I was doing. I simply put a pair of socks on her. My feet are always cold so I alays kept socks on the babies when they were little. One of the nurses actually snuck a pair of her socks into the nursery for her to try it out. She let me know that it worked. She went to sleep and rested. Sometimes it is as simple as that. Think about the things that make you uncomfortable or comfortable and apply that to him. Maybe his feet are cold or hot. Maybe he wants a teddy snoggled close to him or an extra blanket. You will figure it out but in the meantime - its okay to ask a freind or relative to watch him while you take a well deserved nap. Good luck and enjoy him. These are the precious times.
Andie

Most likely your son is going through a growth spurt (varies for each child, bt usually at 3,6,9,12 mo...etc) OR could be teething or just not feeling well. Teeth can cause an baby pain LONGGGG before you ever see them pop through. OR your baby could just need a little extra emotional support right now, and he gets that from holding, cuddling, feeling your warmth and having you close. As hard as getting up at 3am is, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, and then you will have moved on to something else that has changed or another stage. Hang in there and just be there for him :-) ... he must need something.... Sometimes it's easy to forget the emotional needs they have ...when they are fed, clean, changed, burped, etc...sometimes they still just want Mommy nearby.... :-)

Don't worry - mine JUST started sleeping without waking for a bottle at 12+ months. All babies are different and I know what you mean about wishing your baby was like the other easy ones you hear about, but don't feel like it's YOUR fault. Sounds like you're doing everything you should (and even better than I was/am at doing what you're supposed to do/not supposed to do) Like mine has a binky and I would feed her because she only ever made it 6 hours at a time at once. That's the only way we'd/she'd ever make it through the night I think. Sorry I don't really have much advice, other than if the milk works, I'd continue no matter what people say. I even sometimes can't sleep if my stomach's upset and a couple of sips of milk help me.

As hard as it is you have to let him cry it out. With both of my kids it only took 2 nights of crying before they were sleeping through the night. We had read serveral books that suggested this and then my pediatrician confirmed the same. My husband and I would take turns listening to them cry it out when it happened in the middle of the night and we would always check on them when we first heard the cry to make sure they weren't soaked or hurt in some way but then we would leave and let them cry. Like I said it was only a couple of nights. My son (2nd born) would go through long periods of sleeping fine and then would wake up in the night again and this went on until he was 1.

Hope that helps

Hi,

My daughter was 8 months old when she began going backwards with the night time sleep. Since she obviously wasn't hungry, like you, she took 1-2 ounces, I let her cry. It was difficult, but I knew she was ok, I did check on her frequently. The first night she cried for about an hour, the second night was less and by the 3rd or 4th night, she was done. I know this will be a difficult thing to do, but for your sanity, you may want to try it. She is 5 now and sleeps like a rock!

Hope this helps!
Roz