Sleep HELP!!

Updated on March 07, 2008
T.S. asks from La Mesa, CA
6 answers

Ok, this is going to be a long one but I need help, any suggestions would be great!!! My son is 9 months old and is not sleeping well at all. Right now he is waking probably every hour and a half to two hours at night and the only way he goes right back to sleep is if I feed him but he only eats for a minute or two and goes right back to bed. He is just using me as a pacifier and I am a little tired of it. If I don't feed him me or my husband are up with him for the next 30-45 minutes rocking him back to sleep. He also doesn't take naps very well but then again I guess he never really has. Evertime I lay him down in his crib to take a nap he wakes up. I can hold him and he will stay asleep but I just don't have the time to do that everyday. I have tried letting him cry it out but that goes on forever and when he gets really upset he pulls at his ears and they end up bleeding and ripping at the top and bottom of his ear. He use to scratch his face really bad but he doesn't do that anymore thank goodness. I have tried putting gloves on his hands but that doesn't work. I wouldn't mind him sleeping in bed with me but we have tried that a few times and he just wakes up as often as he does when he is in his crib. The poor thing is just as exhuasted as I am I am sure but he is so stubborn and just won't sleep. He is just so fussy. I am running out of options and extremely exhausted!! I just don't know what to do anymore to help him sleep. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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M.M.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

I have to recommend Tracy Hogg's "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" - there is a fantastic section on sleep issues, plus there are also online resources at babywhisperer.com. My DS also used to wake up at night to eat; he'd feed for 5 mins and crash again, so I realized I was being used as a pacifier :) We alternated nights, and when DS would wake up, we'd go in there and do the "shush/pat" to get him back to sleep, only picking him up if he was hysterically crying, not the fussy crying b/c he had woken up and was tired. Another thing she mentions is if you do pick him up, to hold him until he's comforted, but then put him back down (she calls it pick up/put down) BEFORE he falls alseep. It took about three-four days, but he started sleeping 6-7 hrs at night. Now we just need to lay a hand on his back when he wakes up and he can soothe himself right back to sleep in less than a minute. My DS is a bit younger than yours (6 months) but Tracy's methods have worked wonders for us. I hope this helps! Good luck!!!

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M.B.

answers from Reno on

Is he teething? Having gas or stomach upset from something he's eating? Could he have a cold or other illness?
My daughter had sleep disturbances like that when she was teething (and they start teething before you actually see the teeth) and she would nurse more frequently. She would often run a fever for couple days too. Once the teeth broke through the gums, her sleep would regulate again.
It sounds by the way you're describing it that he's nursing to comfort some sort of pain.
I'd investigate that further. You can purchase the homeopathic teething tablets and they work wonders! (I used them with my son but not my daughter though.)

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E.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

As another has already suggested, you need to read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Each chapter is specific to a particular age group/stage (you would need to read Chapter 6, "Months Five to Twelve"). The author offers a summary and an "action plan for exhausted parents" at the end of each chapter so you can begin to fix the problem before you have time to read the whole chapter. It is also important to read Chapter 2 since it discusses in length healthy sleep and sleep strategies.

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I.T.

answers from San Diego on

Barring any actual pain or discomfort from gas or upset stomach. I would try giving him a bit more to eat at his last meal, a bath and massage before bedtime routine, and a pacifier. The advice about shushing and patting sounds great if he continues to wake up. If a a pacifier doesn't satisfy him, maybe you should try giving him water in a sippy cup to discourage his using you as a pacifier. My 11 year old never slept through the night until I switched out her bottle for a sippy cup. I guess the extra work of sitting up to drink was not worth it to her.

Also, I know it probably sounds a bit crazy, but you might try bundling him like when he was a newborn. When my 5 month old gets too fussy, I make a "Briseas Burrito" a rock and bounce her to sleep. She usually finds sleep after this.

Anyway, good luck to you.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I completely understand what you're going through. My son was not a good sleeper (and still not a great napper) either. Of course, I think if I had had more experience from the beginning, I might have had better luck. I'm not sure if you've read any sleep books, but "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" really helped me. It really sounds like your son is just so overtired that being overtired is affecting his sleep. It's going to take awhile to get him beyond that state, but if you persist and be consistent, it will happen. It may take two days, or it may take two weeks, but please just try and be consistent either way. Come up with a routine that cues him that it's sleep time. Our nap time and bedtime routine are very similar, but we add a bath at night - even if he doesn't really need it, it just gives him a cue that bedtime is coming. After that, he gets all lotioned up and dressed for bed, we brush his teeth and read him a book or two, then we say goodnight to all his stuffed animals on his shelves (they lay down and go to sleep too), we sing him his favorite good night song while holding and swaying with him (rock-a-bye-baby - but we substitute "baby" with his name), give him hugs and kisses and put him in his crib with a soft, light blanket that he likes to hold. Also, we have a pull down curtain that my mother-in-law made that helps keep out the light. It really does help to make the room dark, especially at nap time! Sometimes he still cries, but not always, and usually only for 5-10 minutes.

At nine months, your baby shouldn't have to eat at all at night. He has learned that you will come to him when he wakes up and cries, and that's why he keeps doing it. It's something you'll have to unlearn yourself. Try one night to not go to him and see what happens. He might cry for an hour (or more) and then fall back asleep for 5 or 6! If you keep being persistent, pretty soon he won't cry at all at night unless something is wrong. I know he scratches himself when he's upset and that isn't fun, but part of the reason he does that is because he hasn't learned yet how to fall asleep on his own. Tugging on his ear might be his own comfort technique (or he may have an ear infection - have you spoken with his doctor?).

The other thing that really helped me was figuring out my son's best sleep pattern. Every baby is different, so figuring it out isn't easy. My son sleeps best when he goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:00 pm (earlier if he doesn't nap well during the day). I notice that the earlier I put him down, often the better and longer he'll sleep at night. This technique actually helps with the napping too, at least until he's beyond the overtired state. Now that my son is almost 13 months old, if he gets more than 12.5-13 hours of sleep at night, he sometimes won't take his morning nap and then ends up taking a shorter afternoon nap, but at 9 months he needed as much sleep as he could get in the day and at night.

Know that you're doing this for him just as much as for you! You will be a better, happier and healthier mommy when he's sleeping through the night. You can do it!

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried not giving him a nap. See if he sleeping better at night if he doesn't take a nap during the day.. Or give him a pacifier at night. I don't know if you let him have one at all but for sanity and sleep you might try one that just stays in the crib..
My daughter used to hate the car, she had one only for the car, until she spit it out one day and it went out the window. That was the end of that.. Good Luck

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