Sleep Help!!!!

Updated on January 24, 2008
T.C. asks from New York, NY
15 answers

Hi, all. I could use some advice on this. My daughter is 7-1/2 months old. She rolled over at 3 months could pull herself up to stand at 6 months and is now practicing standing by not holding on to anything. HOWEVER, she is still not sleeping through the night. When we bring her home from daycare, she gets a bath and bottle some playtime and is usually ready for sleep at 7. She will sleep until about midnight. My question is, should I wake her from her sleep in an hour to get her to sleep better later in the evening? I have a friend that says that this makes babies nervous????

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So What Happened?

Mamasource moms are the best! Thanks to all of you for the wonderful advice. I decided to extend our play time which she seem to enjoy. She fell asleep with her head on my thigh and her little butt in the air at about 8:30. I took that as "mommy, please take me to my crib now." Thanks again to all of you.

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Hi T.!

My daughter is now 2. She had the same pattern for a while where she would awake at the same time every night. Then go right back to sleep. My suggestion would be to go into her room about 1/2 before she normally wakes, just rub her face or hand a little, not to wake her, but to change her sleep rem pattern. You should by a book called babywise and follow it. It is great. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Albany on

HI,
I have a 4 month old. She sleeps about 9:30-4 or 5 am. Have you tried to put her down a bit later, that has helped us. Also, does she sleep a lot during the day. I don't let her sleep more than 5-6 hours all day, until bed. Sometimes, I do when she needs it, or she didn't sleep well the night before. Is she on solids? That may help some. Hang in there, we are all going through it. Need to chat, just let me know. Take care. Alison

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M.K.

answers from New York on

I would have to say this is fairly normal 8 month old behavior, you could try just waiting a while to give her a bath and extend her awake time,but the problem is you don't know how much time she is spending napping at the daycare,
most of my children gradually eliminated their sleep time, its still early for you baby though,

Good luck

M

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S.L.

answers from Binghamton on

Your daughter sounds right on target developmentally in terms of sleep and she also has a healthy bedtime. I don't know many 8 month olds sleeping through the night. My daughter is 11 months and she doesn't sleep through the night. I wouldn't wake her. A later bedtime doesn't guarantee that she will sleep any later.

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M.W.

answers from New York on

Hi T., you said your daughter gets a bath, bottle, playtime then bed. Does she have dinner with the family in the evenings? Maybe she wakes up because she's hungry. When she wakes up at midnight do you give her another bottle? I'm a mom of 3 children (all grown now) and I would think a good hearty meal when you get home, some playtime next and then the bath and bottle would help her sleep better. Just my thoughts. Good luck! M., M., M.

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J.J.

answers from New York on

hi T.! this is one of the toughest questions we all have to face. my children do not sleep theough the night; my son is 2.5 and my daughter is almost 1. they sleep a lot, and very well, but my son just started sleeping through some nights about 3 months ago; he goes to bed at 7-8 and starts his day about 530. it's not great but since he started sleeping thru i can live with it. my daughter goes down about 7 and sleeps till about 630 with 2 wakes per night or so to nurse.

keeping the babies up later does not help at all in my experience. they don't wake up out of lack of tiredness, typically. they wake up for many other reasons; hunger, thirst, wanting to be with you; a wierd dream; the things that would wake up any person; it's just that it's annoying in babies because we have to respond to it, whereas with an older child or adult, we can get our own drink of water, visit the bathroom, and put ourselves back to bed.

your friend is right, it's not a good idea to wake up a sleeping baby. when your baby wakes up at 12, nurse or feed him, don't change him because that's too much stimulation, rock him, and help him nicely and peacefully go back to sleep. that's the best way to minimize the interruption of his waking, and to help him slowly learn that night time is for sleeping.

it will take time to get him staying asleep but try not to get too upset about it. grab naps if you can!

good luck
jess

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R.S.

answers from New York on

Hello T.,

As counterintuitive as this may sound, she may actually be going to bed too late at bedtime. I had the same issue with my 1 year old twins and after going to a sleep seminar and being told they might be overtired, I tried putting them to bed earlier. From the first night they slept through the night and even slept later in the mornings. They now go to bed b/w 6-6:30 pm and sleep until 6-7 am. The theory behind it is that they are too tired and therefore have difficulty going to and staying asleep. My girls also take 2 naps during the day (the first b/w 9-10 and the second b/w 1-2). I make sure they are in their cribs for these naps as it's truly the best quality sleep, rather than being in a stroller. The more sleep and the better quality, the more sleep and the better quality. Oh, and I would also advise never to wake a sleeping baby :) Good luck and I hope this helps!

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Y.K.

answers from New York on

hi T., i would just say that most babies your daughter's age still don't sleep through he night, and they go through different stages where, they sleep through the night, then a stage when they all of the sudden wake up at particular time, then something else. all babies are different- but you daughter sounds completely normal for her age. my daughter started to sleep through the night - the 1st time at around 4 months, then 1.5mns later she stopped that and only started to sleep again through the night at about 22 months! i'm not saying its going to happen to u too, but don't rush her into anything and absolutely don't wake her up. try to put her back to sleep by singing or talking to her softly, rubbing her back. and if she wants to eat then she really still needs it. sleeping through the night for that age is when they sleep about 6 consecutive hours. she'll sleep for longer periods of time when she's ready, they all do.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Hey T.

Maybe you should consider putting her to bed a little later. But I definitely advise to never wake a sleeping baby it makes them extremely cranky. If that doesn't work then maybe she's not getting enough sleep during nap time. That too can interfere with their sleeping patterns.

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

How long has she been doing this? Has she ever slept through the night?

What is her day time schedule? How much does she nap at daycare? What time are you both home in the evening?

When she wakes at midnight what do you do? Do you greet her with open arms and coo and play or do you tell her it is time to go back to sleep and lay her back down and leave?

Typical babies this age are certainly developmentally ready to sleep through the night. However babies that once slept all night do start waking again for many reasons; teething, learning a new skill (such as standing), separation anxiety (peaks at 10 mos. & again at 18 mos), knowing you will stimulate her, etc.

All human beings, including babies, wake during night time sleep. When you or I wake we don't even know it because we have learned to go back to sleep. When babies are experiencing the above mentioned things instead of soothing themselves back to sleep they will call for you.

So you see there are many things left unanswered for me to pinpoint the issue, but hopefully you can take my response and analyze it according to your situation. Feel free to pm me if you need further help.

I am not convinced that waking her a hour after you put her down will help, but you certainly could try it. I just do not think it is necessary. I have tried this with mine & it never worked. I just led to overstimulated & more sleep deprivation for us all. Nervousness is not caused by waking a baby. It is something entirely different.

A.

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D.

answers from New York on

It's not uncommon for babies to still wake during the night at her age. Is she waking to eat. She may still need that one feeding. My 6 mo old gets up at least 2x a night. The average baby sleeps through the night at 6 mos. But they run both ends of the spectrum. Putting her to bed later will not make her sleep through the night, it will only make her more tired and fussy. Just keep her on the schedule you have, it seems to be working. Also, don't believe it when people tell you "Give her cereal it will make her sleep." That doesn't work for all kids. It didn't work for my son or daughter and I know lots of others that have said it's a load of poo.

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T.B.

answers from New York on

There is a book out there - How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. I used it for my daughter's and it's a dream come true. My daughter would fall asleep in my arms and then wake up every night. The book has great advice on how to get them to go to sleep. Hope this helps. They sell it on Amazon.com

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S.M.

answers from New York on

Just try to do more activities with her and then put her to bed later, around 8:30pm. Try not to pick her up at night even if she is crying. Make sure she is ok, without she seeing you. After crying and realizing no one is picking her up she will go back to sleep and eventually sleep all night.

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E.G.

answers from New York on

My daughter is now 3 but we had similar concerns when she was younger. There are two things that might work, ask the babysitter to have her nap a little later so you can keep her up later. Or when she gets home extend the routine to play first then bottle then bath, if you keep her active she will stay up longer, push for the 8:30p rather than 7p. Is she eating cereal yet?? That will also help get her throught he night.
Good Luck

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V.B.

answers from New York on

I have a question for you. What do you do when she wakes up? Do you cuddle? Do you pay a lot of attention to her? You see, since she is in daycare all day and misses you, she may be trying to get her "mommy" time at night. And if you make it fun, and , naturally, I don't mean games and stories, but something that is worth waking up for, you may want to rethink your approach. And also, you want want to try moving her bed time to let's say 7:30 - 7:45. Try moving it by 10 minutes for a week or two, then add another 10 minutes for a week or two.

Also, make sure that there is no alarm or something that goes off at midnight every night. Maybe something that you dont know about wakes her up every night.

I would not recommend wakin gher up, because it is not good for the nervous system.

I see below that someone said to let her cry it out. I am personally totally against that. Being alone at night and crying is not the most pleasant thing for anyone, especially a baby. The only way a person learns to be independent, is if they know that someone is always there for them. And the only way to teach dependence is when no one is there to support them.

And honestly, just relax about it. Really. I have a 7-year old and a 2.5-year old. And it is totally allright. From now on you will never get enough sleep anyway :):)

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