Sleep Help! 8 Month Old Still Waking Often

Updated on January 06, 2011
J.S. asks from Kalamazoo, MI
12 answers

Needing some sleep help! My 8 month old DD is still waking 2-3x/night. I haven't had more than 4 hours of straight sleep in 16 months (had insomnia during pregnancy). I know I'm partially or fully responsible for the problem, as typically when she wakes I nurse her (I'm not really sure if she is hungry, I think I just do it because in the blur of the night I know it'll get her back to sleep). Thus, she's waking in the middle of the night because she's accustomed to eating. How do I get out of this cycle? I can't seem to bear letting her cry. I tried this morning at 5am to let her cry for 20 minutes, but then went in picked her up, soothed her to calm her down, put the pacifier back and she went back to sleep.

Typical night:
6pm - bedtime: I nurse her then put her down awake and put the pacifier in
10:30pm/11pm - she wakes, I try to pat her back and put pacifier back in, but she typically gets too worked up so I nurse and put her back down (awake) (and do diaper chg in dark)
2:30am - I think we may have eliminated this waking in the past week, as I stopped feeding her and just walked her
4am/5am - wakes and I typically just nurse her and put her back down (awake) (and do diaper chg in dark as I've tried not to and end up with wet pj's/bedding in AM)
6am/7am - awakes for day

Naps: are 2-3 a day, each about 45 min long. Every so often she surprises me with a longer nap 1.5-2.5 hours, but that's rare. I try to keep a 9am, 1pm nap schedule (and 4pm if she needs it if earlier naps were earlier than normal), but 2 days a week we're at the gym so she doesn't get a morning nap.

This week she's been stirring/waking at 8:30pm, 9:30pm, etc. Also, I don't "run" to her room when she wakes, I try to giver her a few minutes to see if she'll go back to sleep, but don't want to wait too long otherwise she gets herself too hysterical if crying. I always keep everything dark, don't talk to her, don't make eye contact, etc.

I can talk it up and say "I'm going to let her CIO this week" but then reality hits and I can't bear listening to her cry. Help!

Another Add: I think she was/is dairy sensitive. I eliminated dairy at 8 weeks and colic improved -- over holidays I've been eating sweets (cookies, etc.) that likely have butter in them, and haven't noticed increased crying or discomfort, but maybe the dairy sensitivity has manifested itself into sleep disorders (as one mom response mentions)? Don't know much about the dairy sensitivity issue except what I've read online and from other moms (peditrician not helpful).

What can I do next?

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B.G.

answers from Harrisburg on

WOW, 6pm is WAY WAY too early for bedtime!!!!!!!!! I would say at least 8pm if not 9pm especially since she is waking up frequently. I would never put a child to bed that early. When she gets older and has a normal schedule maybe stretching it to 7:30pm but no earlier.

More Answers

I.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Babies are physiologically made to sleep in REM throughout the night in order for brain reparation. All day long they are bombarded with a million new sensations, pictures, words, motions, sounds, movements, etc etc etc etc. During naps they are so PHYSICALLY exhausted so they sleep in DEEP sleep. At night though, their brain puts their body in REM or light sleep. That is the only sleep in which their brains can repair, sort out new information and build new cells. Any noise, even their own breathing, can wake them from this. It's unfortunate but it is how they develop!

Also, babies are more comfortable with mom and or dad because during the day you give them comfort and reassurance. At night, alone in their crib, they don't get that which is why it is so difficult for them to get back to sleep after the inevitable waking.

What we have done is put a toddler bed with one side as a crib (so he can't roll out) pushed against the bed, so the open side is flush with our mattress. He sleeps there next to us. He still wakes and cries but it is so easy to console him and he's back in dream land in the blink of an eye!

Also, we still rock our son to sleep... we got an expensive stroller (we were in Norway at the time and needed something all-terrain lol) which we can lie flat. We lay in some soft blankets, pop him in and wrap him in his fav red blanky and gently roll the stroller back and forth (I play mahjong or check emails while doing this) and when he is asleep we lift him out and put him in bed. This has worked well for the past 17 months! Oh I should also mention we had a sling, Baby Bjorn, which we wore him sometimes if he was fussy.

And also remember, we're all as tired as each other in these stages! It obviously gets better, otherwise no one would have second or third or fourth children...or more lol!

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K.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I hate to say this, but if you can't listen to her cry at all, then you are just going to keep getting up in the middle of the night. She is old enough that she doesn't need ANY night feedings, unless she has special nutritional needs or is a nutritional risk.

I bought the Ferber Sleep Solutions book to help me through this TWICE. It has a time table where you go back in after each few minutes (it tells you exactly how long to wait). You soothe your baby with a back rub or a few soft words, then go back out. You teach your baby that you are there, but it is time to sleep. The times get longer and she will learn to get herself to sleep. There is nothing cruel about this, and these sleep skills are invaluable as children get older. It is SO important to know how to relax yourself and drift off. My kids are champs at it. Keep naps to two a day, no more and nothing too close to bedtime. (4 is too late, sorry) 6 is too early for bedtime, stretch it 15 minutes each day until it is 7:30 or 8.

I don't mean to sound like a know it all, but if you knew what I went through with this, you'd understand! haha! Good luck to you. Get this book, trust me, your will get your life back!

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M.L.

answers from Pittsfield on

Sorry, but I don't think it's normal for an 8 month old breastfed baby to have a specific routine. Are you breastfeeding on demand? (ensuring your supply?) Have you considered co sleeping? I couldn't imagine getting up every time my infant woke up. Co sleeping is too easy and my 2nd child switched into his crib at 14 months without a tear in 3 nights. Don't feel discouraged - just learn to read her cues and make sure you are on her schedule. It took the second kid for me to figure out that I needed to go to bed earlier! I wanted that grown up night time time, but it's not cohesive w/ raising an infant.
Hang in there. Soon - she'll be weaning down on naps and hopefully that will help.

In the mean time, Valerian Root (which can be found pretty much anywhere vitamins are sold) is safe in breastfeeding and a natural sleep aid. It doesn't make you drowsy and you will still jump awake when the baby sneezes from the other room, but it just takes the edge off sleeplessness, so that when you are awakened you can settle back into sleep quickly. It saved me and I can't recommend it highly enough. It's used to help reduce stress in the daytime - if that gives you any idea how NOT drowsy it makes you. It won't put you to sleep or keep you asleep - just help you settle quickly.

good luck.

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M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You've received a lot of great info. And it could be one of many things. She's nearing a growth spurt AND working on her large motor skills (something they practice on during their sleep, causing wakeups). She may not be eating enough during the day. She may be doing it out of habit. Sometimes, the baby stuff sucks :( But hopefully, with help from the others you can start to figure out solutions.

My son was a premie with a ton of health/develomental issues, so I try not to use him as an example. He also didn't start sleeping thru the night until 28mos old, or start napping longer than 8-12mins until 22mos.

My son never did well with a strict schedule, but around that age he seemed to do best with the 1-2-3 method. Wake up and 1 hour later go down for a nap. Wake up and 2hrs later go down for a nap. Wake up and 3hrs go down for the night. No hard set times, just an approximate. I also know a several moms who found that their babies just did better by going to bed later (once they started putting their babies down for the night around 8-9pm, their babies slept until 7-9am).

Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Has she been sleeping through the night before this and this is a new thing? The reason I ask is maybe she's teething or going through a growth spurt. My daughter turned 9 months yesterday and at about 7 months all of a sudden she was getting up every couple hours, when prior to that she was sleeping all night long. We realized she was getting her two bottom teeth. I did nurse her on demand, mainly it helped get us both back to sleep and within a few weeks everything was back to normal. Someone actually suggested that I NOT nurse her every time b/c if she was going through the night without eating she probably wasn't hungry, so you could try that. To be honest I nursed anyway b/c it comforted her, but she never really nursed very long so I think the person was right, she wasn't hungry just needed comfort and probably was in pain from the teeth.

I never could do the cry it out thing either, when she cries I feel she needs me. Not sure if this helps, but if it has just started maybe it is temporary and she's either getting some teeth or going through a growth spurt and it won't last. It seems like it will last forever, but it won't. Hang in there...hope this helps!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I have an 8 month old and I will nurse him often during the day, put him to bed between 8-9pm and he'll sleep through the night, sometimes for 12 hours. If he has a night where he wakes often, I'll nurse him and put him to bed, if he cries or wakes again soon, I'll let him cry for a little bit, then nurse him again. I allow him to cry a little bit longer each time before going in again. I only have isolated incidence of him crying a lot. Also, I can't eat any dairy or he'll be up for sure. Good luck!!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, J.:
Just slug it out. It would be the same if you were in
college. You would have to stay up late cramming for
tests and getting papers done.

Just keep on nurturing her. Pretty soon she will be grown and gone and
then you will wish you had this time back.

Rodney Atkins has a song: When your're going through hell, keep on going.

That is my advice.
Good luck.
All the Best.
D.

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Before you do CIO, (yes it works and no it's not mean) you need to feed her much more during the day. Not just right before bed. She may seem fine, and may be eating on a schedule, but I promise yo if you offer her more, she will eat more, and once her body registers the increase in calories (will take several days) she will sleep at night. Once you have been feeding her more (she is hungry or she would not be waking this much) you can let her sooth herself and she will. Feed her more! My step aunt (12 kids) taught me this trick when my 11 month old was still waking to nurse at night. She never woke again after 3 days of increased eating, and my next two babies slept like rocks form 3 months old because I fed them all day long. If she is still only nursing (very hard to keep babies full enough this way), be sure you are adding in solid food and thickening some bottles with cereal during the days.

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B.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

my 7 month old has been waking up every 2 hours too and I nurse him and put him back to bed, just so that I can get back to sleep too. I know he's not hungry though. He has been in a pack n play in my bedroom so I have to keep him quiet so he doesn't keep my husband awake who has to get up at 5am. I just moved him to his own bed so that I could let him cry and teach him to go back to sleep on his own without having to nurse. I know you said you can't do it, but it is very effective. And you don't just let them cry and cry. When he wakes up and cries, I don't ignore him, I go in and pat him, maybe pick him up but i don't feed him and if he cries when i leave i let him cry for a bit before i go back in. I will feed him once in the middle of the night. I also put a lullaby cd in his room that plays very quietly all night long and that has really helped. I also dont' put him to bed til 8-9 (he naps usually at 5 or 6pm) and he sleeps til 8 or 9 too which is great for me since I don't go to bed early.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Babies this age wake. Still.
Normal.
Especially when hitting growth-spurts or changes in development.
I always, nursed on-demand.... my kids had ginormous appetites.... and grew like weeds. They woke often too.

Babies... still wake at this age. Normal.

Or try white noise, or a sleep sack....

Also make sure you are producing enough milk... otherwise, even if at breast... a baby will not be getting adequate intake.... to match their growing.... and they will be HUNGRY. NO matter what time of day or night.
That happened to several friends of mine.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Sleep is a habit, and you are right, you have conditioned her to eat at certain times. So, two things that work without relying on a full CIO:

1. Start reducing nursing time at each feeding, working on one wake up time at a time. When she wakes, nurse her, but keep track of how long you nurse. Gradually reduce it, reducing it by 30-60 seconds every 3 nights. When you are down to two minutes, don't run when she wakes, give her 5 full minutes. If she still wakes up, you can try my second suggestion, but there will be a few nights of 2-5 minute fussing before she just sleeps through her habitual wake up time, so you a have to give her time.
2. The 5 minute startle: this doesn't always work, but it does work sometimes. 5 minutes before usual wake up time, go into the room and make some noise, startle her enough that she rolls over. This will reset her sleep cycle and she should sleep till the next wake-up time.

It is perfectly normal for an 8 month old to need a night feeding. In fact, I think most babies need food till closer to 12-13 months, but they should only be waking once or twice, after a good solid 9 hours of sleep.

Also, it sounds to me like you really need to work on getting her naps consolidated. SHe sounds over tired to me. Use the 5 minute startle to get her to really nap. Anything less than 60 minutes is NOT a nap. So, you need to get her naps consolidated, and that will help her night sleep.

My son has a dairy allergy. I can eat whatever I want, but he can't breath and breaks out in terrible hives if he does near diary himself. It has NOTHING to do with his sleep. The fussiness your daughter is exhibiting is most likely a direct result of her being over-tired. Most 8 month olds can't skip naps. You may need to rethink your work-out schedule.

One last thing, pick feeding times and stick to them. So if she wakes at 9, don't feed her! Go in, and tell her it's "night night time, go back to sleep." If you don't have a sleep cue phrase, get one and start saying it every time you put her to sleep. Eventually, she will respond to the phrase and you can just say it from the doorway.

Two books: No Cry Sleep Solution and Healthy Sleep Habits. Both have lot of really good information in them.

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